The rest of term passed almost unbearably slowly. The weather matched Tonks' mood. Awful. It snowed endlessly for days, blanketing the school in half a metre of snow. It was always freezing, no matter how many jumpers she wore, and she was miserable constantly.
She hated the cold for a start, but adding that to the prospect of having to go home for Christmas she felt angry at life for being so cruel to her.
She did her best to hide her true feelings from her students and colleagues, but it was beyond her control. Her metamorphmagus skills alerted everyone to her glumness. As did her constant snapping at students.
She felt guilty. Well, it was nearly Christmas…yet at the same time, she had every right to be annoyed.
On a completely unrelated subject, she had barely spoken to Snape since his childish flounce after the trip to Hogsmeade. Any truce or makings of a friendship that they had were gone, replaced by awkward silences at meals and being ignored.
The more Tonks thought about that evening, the more it ate away at her confidence. She'd been too nosey. Snape was private man, any fool could tell that, and yet she pushed him. Unfortunately, Snape was the only person remotely close to her age in the school and although she loved Minerva and adored many of her older students (as friends, of course) it just wasn't the same.
A week before the end of term, Tonks arrived at breakfast in a foul mood. She had gotten little sleep the night before, having stayed up marking essays all night. Her mood worsened as three owls arrived, all for her. She had been invited to far too many Christmas dinners. She opened her mothers letter first and skimmed it. Same as always, dull and lecturing. The next one was from Ginny and it was slightly longer, listing everything that had been happening with the younger witch since their last meeting. Tonks tucked it into her pocket to read later. Her last letter was from Molly. She too had invited her to Christmas dinner.
Tonks rubbed her tired eyes and slumped in her chair, staring at the hall in front of her.
"Anything the matter Nymphadora?" Minerva asked kindly, appearing next to her.
Tonks blinked. Was that a special power that head teachers got? The ability to appear from nowhere?
"Not at all. Just Christmas invites." Tonks replied, shrugging slightly. She should feel honoured to have such a wonderful family, welcoming her to them. But she just didn't have it in her.
"Decided who you're going to yet?" Minerva asked, plating herself up a scone and pouring some tea.
"ah, I don't know. I might just stay here. I have some work to catch up on so-"
"Dora, I certainly hope you're not wearing yourself out. You deserve a break."
Tonks shrugged again, aware she was behaving like a mardy teenager. What was she supposed to say?
"I'm fine. Really. I just… it's my first Christmas here. Besides, who can resist an elf-made Christmas dinner?" Tonks laughed, though she didn't sound entirely convincing. The smile on her face didn't quite reach her eyes and quickly vanished as she turned back away from the headmistress.
"Someone who had the chance to eat a Molly Weasley Christmas dinner." Minerva sighed and too turned away to sip her tea.
Tonks picked at her breakfast, but the letters in her pocket felt heavy against her hip and she knew she had to reply to them soon to get the guilt out of her system. Pushing her plate away, Tonks finished her pumpkin juice in a single swig and made to leave.
"Wait Dora," Minerva said suddenly, taking hold of Tonks's wrist.
Tonks sat back down, though on the edge of her seat as if ready to leave at any moment, and waited for Minerva to speak. The headmistress sighed and touched her fingertips together thoughtfully.
"I don't know what happened between you and Severus," Tonks stiffened at his name, unsure whether she should feel guilty of angry. She hated him for making her feel so unsure of herself, "and I'm not asking. However, you should know that Severus is the same as any man. He likes to mope and he's dreadfully stubborn. If you give him time, I'm sure he'll apologize for whatever he's done."
Wise words from a woman who had known Severus since he was 11. Tonks shook her head once, her face flat. "It makes no difference to me, Professor."
With that, she swept from the hall in a secret daze. Was it that bloody obvious that she was upset over a childish falling out? She must look absolutely pathetic! Tonks groaned inwardly as she hurried back to her rooms to write her letters. Pride be damned! She was going to confront him by the end of the day!
As she had told herself she would, at nearly half past 3 Tonks found herself hovering outside of the potions classroom. She jumped around for a bit, cursing herself silently. What was she doing?! What was she going to say to him?! She had less than a minute to make up her mind. Was she going to stay and try to repair their relationship, or did she flee and find a new job somewhere else.
The bell rang and acting on impulse, Tonks entered the classroom swiftly to find a bunch of first years packing away. Snape stood at the front of the classroom, speaking firmly to a group of Slytherins.
There it was. Proof that Snape was a changed man. Telling off members of his own house. It was a miracle!
"Professor Snape, May I have a word?" Tonks called, stepping tentatively into the classroom.
He looked up and though something about his expression changed, he nodded before returning to his students.
The others began to file out of the classroom, a few of them saying hello to their defence professor. Tonks smiled at them, hiding the nerves bubbling in the pit of her stomach. Eventually the classroom emptied and Snape turned to her once again.
"How can I help you?" he asked quietly. Tonks took a deep breath and walked slowly towards him. He didn't seem mad.
"I.. uh, I wanted to apologize for what happened the other week. It was none of my business, Sorry."
There was an awkward pause, filling Tonks with uncertainty and then,
"It's fine. I shouldn't have stormed off like that, you were only curious."
Tonks got the strangest feeling that Snape was treating her as a child again and folded her arms, leaning against a desk. "It has nothing to do with me though. I feel really bad about it. I ruined a perfectly fine day." Tonks blushed inwardly. She'd nearly said perfect, but quickly recovered.
"Don't worry Nymphadora, I'm as much at fault as you. Let's just call it even."
Tonks beamed at the potions master, suddenly filled with relief. "Okay. We're even." she accepted, smiling still. "Does that mean you'll talk to me at dinner now?"
Snape smirked, "I don't know. I'm sure there are more interesting things I could be talking about with Binns." he kidded and Tonks played along.
"Well, in that case I'll resume a very interesting conversation I was having with Hagrid about wood nymphs." She retorted, smiling soundly.
Snape smiled, shaking his dark haired head in amusement. "Alright. I give in. Anything not to talk to Binns." he smirked, gesturing to the door. "Shall we?"
Tonks jumped off the desk and smiled brightly. "We shall."
Christmas break soon began, and with the company of Severus, Tonks began to brighten up a little more. Though she barely wanted to leave Hogwarts, she did manage to visit her friends and family and deliver presents before returning to school to enjoy her break.
It was only after Christmas when the first signs of spring appeared that Tonks returned fully to her old self.
One night in April, she sat in the staff room marking some work. Severus was sat opposite her, reading. They were mostly silent to be kind to Filius Flitwick who had a headache after a double period with first years, but every now and then Severus would tell her something from the book that he thought Tonks would find interesting. Even more surprising was that, she actually did find it interesting and asked to read it after him.
"I can't believe it, Nymphadora Tonks asking to read." Severus smirked, teasing her shamelessly as he watched her over the top of his book.
Tonks blew her tongue out at him but smiled all the same. "Nothing else to do." she quipped as she finished her marking, thanking Merlin. It had taken her hours to do one classes worth of essays.
"You should go out Dora. You're young. You should leave school once in a while." Snape murmured, quite unexpectedly.
Tonks considered it, but wrinkled her nose. "I don't think so. I don't do well with life. Besides, I like it here." she added softly. That was true. It seemed like they spent every night doing almost the same thing, but Tonks loved it. It was very rare that they ever had company in the staff room and their conversations were always engaging and enjoyable.
"Alright." Snape said simply and then paused. "then let me take you out."
Tonks froze, her eyes bulging. "What, like, the two of us?" She could have asked if it were a date, but that would be far too awkward and she couldn't bring herself to say it.
"I mean- if you wanted. I didn-"
Tonks held up a hand to cut him off, smiling shyly. "I'd like that, Severus."
Severus looked somewhat shocked, but regained his composure rapidly. "Well then. How about Friday night? 6 o'clock?"
Tonks smiled brightly, feeling bizarrely gleeful. "Brilliant." she agreed, jotting it down on her hand. Not that she needed to, she'd never forget this. "I- uh. I should probably go now, it's getting late. See you at breakfast?"
Severus nodded quickly as Tonks collected her work up. She stood and with one last dazzling smile, she left the staffroom.
Friday couldn't come quick enough.
At 10 to 6, Tonks stood in front of her mirror and sighed. She prayed she looked nice. She wore a sweet, though hopefully mature, black dress. It's skirt came to mid knees and the sleeves were three quarter length, with intricate red stitching. She'd accessorized with a thin, red belt and red shoes. Her hair was its new usual, dark brown and medium length. For the occasion, she'd given it a nice curly bounce to it but it wasn't over the top.
Still, she wasn't sure whether she looked good enough. A little black dress was so cliché. She didn't even know what they were doing. Was she supposed to look more casual? Had she tried too hard to look even remotely sexy? Tonks sighed. It was too late to change now. She'd just have to hope for the best, and if that didn't work she'd run and hide in embarrassment.
Glancing at the clock, Tonks grabbed her fine navy cloak and purse and hurried from her rooms. She reached the entrance hall in good time and smiled graciously at Severus as she caught his eye, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach.
"Hey." she greeted, pulling her cloak on.
"Hello." he replied, smiling a little. "Ready?" he asked, holding the door open for her easily.
Tonks thanked him, her heart racing, and exited the castle. They walked down to the school gates, talking quietly about their days lessons. It wasn't proper conversation but Tonks hoped they would mellow out over the course of the evening. If there was one thing she was certain of as she watched Severus talking easily about some potion, his ebony eyes sparkling- it was that she had a crush on professor Snape.
No. she reminded herself, she was no longer a student anymore. She wasn't a silly little teenager. She was a mature, responsible adult. A professor. An ex-auror. A woman. She didn't have a crush on him, she was falling in love with him.
They reached the gates soon enough and Severus held out his hand, offering her a side-along apparation. Tonks placed her significantly smaller hands in his and smiled nervously.
"You look beautiful, by the way." Severus said quickly and before Tonks had time to react, they apparated.
In the eyes of Nymphadora Tonks, the night had been perfect. She hadn't been on a date in well over a year, but that was besides the point. It was the man on the date with her that made it so much better.
At the end of the night, they returned to the school. But not quite.
"I'd like to tell you something." Severus said seriously, having just apparated them to the gates of Hogwarts.
The smile slid from Tonks's face at the sound of Severus's voice and she paled slightly. "Oh?"
Severus lead her to the grass by the forbidden forest and they sat opposite each other, taking in the sound of the night. It wasn't cold exactly, being early summer, but it was a little cool and Tonks rubbed her arms absent-mindedly as she watched Severus collect his thoughts.
"I'm going to tell you why I was so cruel to Harry."
Tonks paled further, taking Severus's hand in her own. "You don't have to Sev. I swear it doesn't matter to me."
Severus shook his head, looking quite determined. "You should know." He took a deep breath and the look in his eyes broke Tonks's heart. "It was because of his parents. We were in the same year group here. I lived close to Lily and we were friends before school. I loved her. When we got to school we were sorted into different houses. We tried to remain friends but it was hard, especially with a war on. I didn't have many friends in my own house, but it was even harder to stay close to Lily with James Potter and his friends attacking me at every chance they got."
"Sirius?" Tonks breathed, her eyes wide in horror.
"We were rivals. The only difference is there were four of them and one of me. It was humiliating. Then in my fifth year, Lily tried to defend me. I got mad and insulted her blood status and she never forgave me. In the end she started dating Potter and I turned to the dark arts."
"I can't believe it." Tonks muttered, staring at the ground. Had he really abused Harry just because he looked like James? Because James had stolen his girl, or rather, a girl he'd pushed away.
"The reason I couldn't stand Harry was because he has his mothers eyes. Every time I looked at him it was like my heart broke all over again. It made me mad with guilt and grief. I could have… I should have been kinder. I wasn't trying to punish him for his father's mistakes. I just wanted an outlet for my grief. If I was angry at him, I couldn't pity myself, or him."
Tonks looked up, aware there were tears in her eyes but ignoring them all the same. "What changed?" she asked calmly, watching Severus's face to make sure he was telling the truth.
"Harry forgave me. During the final battle, when I was injured…I showed him my memories and he forgave me. He saved my life."
There were a hundred questions that Tonks could have asked, if she wanted. But at one look at Severus's tormented face, all her anxiety slipped away. The assault of worries and emotions on her mind faded into nothing as she sat up and rolled onto her knees.
In the light of the moon, Tonks leant forwards and pressed her lips to his. A long moment passed before she pulled away, her eyes locking with Severus's.
"Sorry. I probably shouldn't have done that." she whispered, though she didn't feel guilty in the slightest.
"No." Severus agreed.
Tonks sighed, the urge to run away overwhelming her. But then Severus leant forwards. One hand rested on her hip, pulling her closer to him. The other on the bare skin of her back, near her neck. Then he kissed her. Tonks responded eagerly, crawling closer to him. Their lips didn't part for what must have been minutes, but eventually air became a necessity. Tonks opened her eyes and found herself much closer to Severus then she had been before, with her arms around his neck and her legs between his.
Their foreheads leant against each other as they caught their breaths, watching each other in silence.
"What do we do now?" Severus asked, his lips curving into a smile.
Tonks responded with a kiss, not as fiery as the last one but it left a lasting effect. Her hands on either side of his neck, she stared deep into his eyes. "Severus. I'm yours for as long as you want me." she murmured, rolling back off her knees.
"Likewise." He told her, smirking a little. "I should get you back up to school. You don't want to be missed."
"Nor do you, Professor Snape." Tonks quipped happily.
Nymphadora and Severus, though not hiding anything at all, chose to keep their new relationship quiet. To such an extent that nobody knew. However, they agreed that if they were ever caught- they would be completely honest.
They had gone on several dates with similar results to the first one and for once, Tonks found herself in a happy, stable relationship.
One night at the end of May, Dora was sat in her rooms reading quietly. Well, she was meant to be reading. Her thoughts kept drifting to a dark haired potions master. Things were going so well, and knowing her she'd ruin it sometime soon. Except she didn't want to. She wanted to turn up to the wedding of Ginny and Harry at the beginning of July with Severus beside her.
Dora dropped her book onto a table and stood, traipsing through into her bedroom. It was early, well past curfew, and she intended to have a lovely bath.
She stripped as she walked through her bedroom, into her bathroom. The large tub filled with hot water and peach scented bubbles. Tonks swam around a bit before washing her hair and body, happy to rest her aching muscles. It had been a long, hot week. She'd had a number of cold showers to cool herself down in-between lessons and she loved baths more than anything.
Yet, barely 45 minutes into her relaxing soak in the tub she heard knocking at her door.
Swearing profusely, Tonks jumped from the bath and grabbed the first nightgown out of her draw, wringing her hair out as she hurried through her rooms to get to her door. She just prayed that it wasn't a student because she didn't have time to change and the nightgown she'd picked was far too skimpy to be deemed suitable.
She pulled her door open quickly and her mouth fell into an 'oh' shape. It was Severus. She was no longer upset by the disturbance, albeit slightly embarrassed and confused.
"Sorry." she said quickly, smiling through her blush, "I was in the bath." as if to prove this, she tugged at her wet hair lightly so that a few drips of water fell from her dark locks.
"It's fine. Sorry, I can see you're busy. It doesn't matter." Severus turned to leave but Tonks caught his arm swiftly.
"Severus," she sang, smirking. "What did you want?" she asked, arching a brow happily. The poor man looked so flustered, leaving Tonks somewhat pleased with her rushed choice of nightwear.
"I haven't seen you tonight, that's all." He said softly, regaining his famous composure yet staring very hard at her eyes.
"I was at dinner Sev." Tonks giggled, looking over his shoulder to make sure nobody was around. "come in." she smiled and stepped away from the door.
Severus looked uneasy but entered all the same and found a little more confidence, wrapping his arms around Dora's waist and kissing her soundly, leaving her breathless.
"Hello." she smiled up at him again, biting her lip. That was unexpected, though not unwelcome.
"You look wonderful." Severus murmured, his hands trailing up her back effortlessly.
"Wonderful? Sev I'm soaking wet!" Tonks giggled again, pressing her hand to his chest and pulling it away- leaving a damp hand print there.
"Exactly." Severus smirked, leaning down to kiss her again but Tonks couldn't stop giggling beneath him.
"I'm sorry. Let me go and dry off properly? I'll be right back." She promised and pecked his cheek before half running into her bedroom. She retrieved a towel and dried herself quickly, pulling her skimpy nightgown back on uncertainly.
She and Severus had been dating for a little over a month and they'd done little more than snog, not that it mattered too much. She was certain she loved him but it had been a year since she'd done anything more than kissing. Perhaps she was crazy to wait, but this was Severus. She wanted it to be special.
Eventually she decided to leave the nightgown on but pulled a dressing gown around her as well. She could take it off if she wanted to, later on.
She swept back into her living room and dropped on the couch beside Severus, smiling wryly. "So, where were we?" she asked, feigning innocence.
Severus smirked and swooped his head down to hers to kiss her, his hands roaming her back once more. Dora moaned into his mouth, tangling her hands in his raven hair. It was just too perfect. It was late, they were alone and Merlin's beard kissing him had never felt so good. Tonks sunk back as Severus rose up, his hands caressing her neck sensually.
Dora moaned again as she shuffled down the couch, propping herself up on her elbows. Severus slid above her easily, now kissing her jaw line and ear lobes passionately. It was hard to resist his ministrations, so she didn't, despite knowing she'd have to stop him eventually.
Still, she wanted to leave him wanting more. She shifted her arms so she was no longer propped up, and collapsed into the cushions. Severus moved with her, his shadowy eyes caught up in her own. With her now free hands, Dora pulled his head to hers and kissed him fervently, her tongue enticing him so much more. Her hands pulled him closer to her, so that there was no gap between them and then she lost her hands in his hair again, relishing it's softness. Severus's own hand wormed between the cushion of the couch and Dora's back, separated only by the fabric of her nightclothes.
Dora frowned inwardly as she felt his hand. If he was able to think, she clearly wasn't on top form. She kissed him again, with renewed vigour and felt his hand go limp and pull from beneath her, resting now on her shoulder instead. Only when she was certain that there no breath left in either of them, did she pull away and clamber up into a sitting position.
"Wow." she breathed. She could still feel his touch on her arms and back, tingling but perfect.
"That was…" Severus trailed off, his dark eyes sparkling.
"Sev." Dora chewed her lip, anxious that she was going to make things awkward- considering how aroused both she and Severus were, though Severus's was entirely more noticeable. "I feel like such a bitch but… I-uh, I'm not ready for going all the way.. Quite yet." She wrinkled her nose and wiped her face with her hands restlessly, rubbing her eyes.
"I understand." Severus said simply, smiling. Tonks raised an eyebrow, clearly sceptical. "I do, really. Don't get me wrong, you're going to drive me insane with lust, but we've only been going out a month." He told her, his tone gentle but firm.
"Are you sure? I feel awful!" she sighed, turning to face him. "I mean, we're both mature adults with needs and I'm clearly attracted to you… but it's just."
"Dora. Please believe me. I understand." Severus smiled again, sending relief flooding through Tonks until his face shifted to seriousness and he frowned. "but you have…. Before, haven't you?" he asked curiously.
Tonks giggled, shaking her head amusedly. "Of course I have Sev. I'm 25, not 15." she stuck her tongue out at him and then giggled again, leaning into his chest and wrapping her arms around his waist. "Are you going to be alright?" she asked him, still giggling childishly as she glanced at his covered arousal.
Severus smirked, hugging her to him. "Somehow I think I'll manage."
"NYMPHADORA TONKS! HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY BIG DAY!" The new Mrs Potter screeched, storming towards Tonks. The metamorphmagus' eyes bulged and she attempted hiding behind Severus, to no avail. She silently cursed his skinny arse.
"Sorry?" she suggested, not entirely sure what she'd done.
Without warning, Ginny erupted into peals of laughter. Harry joined them swiftly, shaking his head in amusement.
"Sorry," he said over his new wife's laughter. "I would have warned you but she escaped me." he shrugged. He didn't seem too bothered by the scene.
"No matter." Tonks said bemusedly. "Would you mind telling me what all this is about?" she asked awkwardly, wondering whether she was the only one who was confused.
"You and Severus." Harry filled in, his eyes flicking up to the older mans. "She said she'd told you months ago and you'd refused to listen, she wanted to make you pay."
Tonks laughed awkwardly up at Snape who's eyes sparkled in amusement. She'd be hearing about that later, for sure. Though, it couldn't be as bad as Minerva who had spotted them holding hands earlier and practically squealed in delight.
"I did tell you!" Ginny said gleefully, finally catching her breath. "You said 'oh no, he's a professor, I don't like him like that Ginny' and now look at you! So, How long?"
"Only a month." Tonks muttered, scrunching her nose up again. "Look Ginny, we'll talk about it another time yeah? This is you're big day!"
Ginny beamed, slipping her hand into Harry's. "It's our big day." she corrected contently, gazing blissfully into her husbands eyes.
"Well, that makes a change." Harry kidded, chuckling.
"Well, she is the bride." Tonks giggled, "Oh congratulations Ginny!" the older witch leant forwards to surround her younger friend in a hug and when they emerged, Severus and Harry were shaking hands heartily.
"Well, congratulations Potter." Severus said good naturedly, reminding Tonks of how much Severus had changed. Especially to Harry Potter.
Ginny and Harry made to leave and Tonks whirled around, smiling brightly at Severus. "I guess the secrets out then." she sighed contentedly, watching Severus for his reaction.
He smiled, holding his hand out swiftly. "In that case, we can dance."
Well, there's chapter 2 :) let me know what you think, if you want..