Rehab

Title: Rehab

Pairings: 1X2, 3X4, 5X(haven't decided yet)

Warnings: SEX! (lol), Angst, Violence, Foul Language and so on!

Summary: To pent his frustration throughout the war Duo turns to Heero for no-strings attached sex not knowing the silent solider would start to develop feelings for him. Now the wars over and Duo has turned to Hilde to start a new life leaving Heero stranded and unknowing how to deal with the emotion called 'Love'.

Disclaimer: If I owned Gundam Wing it would be never ending!

Author's note: I thought of this idea while listening to Rihanna's song 'Rehab' and it all just came pouring out. It's going to be a multi part fic but I'm just wondering if I should continue or not. Some chaps will have some of the lyrics to the song at the start while others wont. I'm also looking for a Beta if anyone is up for it :) Please read and review I'd love to know what you think about it.

Additional A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed my first chapter :) You guys really know how to get a writer thinking! Now that my uni exams are over I've finally figured out how I'm going to write this fic (Other fics of mine will also be updated :)). I was contemplating on giving you short chapters with the song lyrics however when I started to write this chap I think I got a bit carried away, I also started to cry thinking about future chapters and how destroyed I'd feel if the person of my life left me lol. I decided to write big chaps in the end because it's so hard to fit all the emotions felt within small 4 page chapters. Anyway I had a lot to do in this chap I really wanted to show you guys how deeply Heero feels for Duo before the bastard runs off. It ties in with the line "You were like my lover and my best friend, all wrapped into one with a ribbon on it". Enjoy!

xXx

Chapter 2

If this was any normal person they would have been dead long ago, but Duo Maxwell has always been a dodger of death. I had to bite my lip as I tore the tight ropes from around his sore ankles and wrists. They've chaffed his skin nearly to the bone, causing him to recently develop an infection. I want to cry, scream and break things in anger as I look at the state he's in. How can someone so important to the world be so stupid?!

One month ago Duo left on a mission to retrieve some data from the Sanc Military base, and what a surprise he chose the day to go when they received their new troops. He was out numbered by 10,000, not even I could escape that. Since then he'd been tortured and nearly killed by the officers here in command. We had to count our lucky stars that Duo's the strongest and cockiest out of all of us, he never gave them any information on the Gundams'.

I can feel my breath getting uneasy as I feel for his pulse, it's there alright but very, very weak.

"God damn it 02." I murmur quietly as I quickly check over his body. I feel physically sick as I mentally note down all his injuries – too many by my count, he's lucky to even be alive. Giving a quick glance down at my watch I predict I have about 10 minutes until the extra security guards come and check on him. Low and behold when they do come hopefully they will find us gone and just the 4 dead officers I've killed by the cell door.

His hair is a mess, still half in its braid, while his body is covered in dirt and dried blood. I want to kill every person who's touched him in the past month, but I know that won't make anything right. I have to keep my mind on the current mission: get Duo out. Then blow the God Damn place to hell.

I carefully pick Maxwell's limp body off the floor and sling him over my shoulder remembering the last time he'd been captured. Luckily then he was conscious to walk. Surprisingly however he's very light, probably caused from starvation for the last month. Jogging down the empty corridor I make my way towards an old office (where I had entered the building). There I would be able to escape through the window.

A few minutes later we were out in the open and I had to smile at how easy they'd made it. Underestimating the Gundam pilots is a big mistake. Just as we make it to a decent hiding place, about 300 yards from the building in some shrubbery, the alarm sounds and red lights start to flash around the building.

Shifting Maxwell's body to the ground I reach into my back pocket and withdraw my trusty detonator. With a satisfied smirk on my face I firmly pressed the button and whisper, "Mission Complete."

The building blew into a million pieces as I moved to cover Maxwell's body with my own just to make sure nothing came our way and landed on him. I wait silently, listening to the dying screams and shouts of the soldiers as they try to escape. I should be feeling regret and guilt but I feel nothing. Those bastards tried to hurt one of us and in the worst way possible. None of them really understand the meaning of this war and why we fight.

Registering my queue that it's safe to go I swing Maxwell's limp body onto my shoulder again and make a run for it, the falling clouds of ash making us invisible in our escape.

Before I set off on my mission Doctor J had located a safehouse just 4 miles from the military base. He said it was an abandoned inherited house, deserted when the Peacecraft family was wiped out and many people made a run for it leaving all their worldly possessions behind.

The walk to the safehouse was easy enough, it locates in the middle of an over grown forest, private enough for the Gundam pilots. I stop in my tracks as we make a break from the busy forest and into the house grounds, the house is magnificent. The place is enormous compared to what the doctors usually shove us in. You can tell no one has been in the house for a while, wild ivy is growing disorderly up the monstrous walls covering most of the windows while the garden is extensively over grown. Trekking round the back I break down the back door (while taking a mental note that I would have to fix it later) and hurry inside, Duo's breathing is slowing down. Rushing up the large staircase I wonder into the first room were a large double bed is set against the sky blue back wall. Carefully resting him down on the dusty bed I quickly take off my backpack and search for my first aid kit.

"You're a son of a bitch you know that." I half whisper as I began to tend his wounds my hands as steady as a rock hiding my hysteria. Half an hour later he's sorted. His breathing and heartbeat have returned to normal.

Settling on the side of the bed I feel my insides churn, he nearly died, another couple of weeks maybe he would have. But would that of meant to me?

I frown slightly as I stare at his peaceful face and notice for the first time how young he looks. We are after all only teenagers - it's easy to forget when you're in the middle of a war trying to fight like adults. Noticing the bruising in his checks and his sunken black eyes it makes me want to march back to the base dig up all the bodies and kill them all over again.

I stay next to his side for a while wondering if he would wake up soon but knowing with his types of injuries he would be out for a while. Finally finding the courage I leave him to mend.

One week drifts by quickly. Between checking on Maxwell, writing up my report, fixing the back door and checking out the house I found a large grand piano in one of the front rooms. There's always been something calming about playing the piano – this was the only pleasure I was aloud as a growing war child. When playing I can almost slip away and ignore what terrible things that are happening in this world.

Approaching it slowly I let my hands run over the dusty top. Underneath the colour is a rich deep mahogany mixed with a tinge of gold. A loud bang from upstairs quickly draws my attention away.

Racing up the stairs I find Maxwell on the floor crawling towards the door. His large eyes are wide open and in a state of panic. I notice he'd already opened some of the wounds I'd stitched up by his erratic movements.

"Maxwell you're safe." I speak the simple words which I knew would mean the world to him while trying to keep my voice as flat as possible to hide my worry and concern. If I'd just rush up to him in his current state he'd probably had a heart attack or I would have probably wound up dead.

His eyes snap up at my voice and the panic instantly washes from his face. The next thing I know he's passed out yet again, his body collapsing like a sack of potatoes onto the carpeted floor. I roll my eyes and make my way towards him. Scooping him up into my arms I lie him back on the bed and cover him up.

I sit for a long time watching him, I see the sky turn dark outside before I hear an owl hooting in the distance. About an hour after his panic his breathing had turned deep indicating that probably for the first time since he'd been captured he was in a deep sleep. Finally his brain has noted that he's safe, finally I can relax.

It was another 2 days before he woke again, I'd made it my duty to stay next to him until he did. There was just enough space next to his sprawled body on the double bed for me to fit on. It was 3pm when his eyes fluttered open. He gasped as he woke, probably from a nightmare since he was tossing a lot before.

"Duo?" I murmur from my place next to him. I watch silently as his amethyst eyes flicker towards me. My heart is thumping in my chest as he stares, his expressions flowing from confusion to concern and then to relief. He opens his mouth intending to speak but all that comes out is a groan. Suddenly realising what he needs I grab my glass of water off the bedside table. Carefully tipping his head into a better position I feed him the water slowly - his eyes never leaving my face, but never quiet meeting my gaze.

He drained the whole glass in no time. Laying his head carefully back down I get up to fill the glass once more only to have his croaky voice call after me, "Thank you."

I stop in my place and turn to him trying to resist from smiling. Those two little words mean the world to me and this voice sounds like heaven. All my worries about his survival suddenly flew from my body. He's going to be OK. I give him a curt nod before heading for the bathroom. He was asleep again when I returned.

After staying with him for another hour I finally left him to it as I went on a search for some food. I've been living on hydrated meals since we got here. However, once Maxwell is better to look after himself I will be able to go to town.

Grabbing two meals from my backpack I make my food first and eat it before I make Maxwell's. Returning to the bedroom I set his plate on the bedside table before trying to think of a way to wake him up. From previous experience's this is a hard task to do, you either don't get a response or you have a knife to your throat. Since I know he hasn't got any weapons on him at the moment and he can't really move, I can't see why this can't go horribly wrong.

Silently I sit next to him admiring his beautiful face before resting my hand on his shoulder. His eyes snap open at my first touch but his face is relaxed.

"You need to eat." I state much like a command more than a simple suggestion.

"What you got?" He croaks out and I feel my stomach flutter at his voice.

"It's just chicken and rice." I tell him, "Do you need help sitting up?" He flushes as he nods his head, anger clearly showing on his face from his incapability. I carefully sit him up before reaching for the steaming plate. Perhaps I should have waited until it had cooled down a bit, I don't really want to add a burnt mouth to the list of injuries he's got.

His eyes light up as he spies the food and I nearly smile. I cut up the chicken into smaller pieces downstairs so I didn't have to do it in front of him. Even though we both know he wouldn't be able to swallow a whole piece of chicken in his condition it's just the fact that he would be so ashamed if I did it in front of him. I had to resist from blowing on the food to cool it as I move the spoon towards his eager mouth. He gobbles it down hungrily and lets out a mewing sigh.

"I've never known someone to like this crap." I murmur lightly, slightly amused. A grin come to his face as I fill the spoon again, he almost made my heart stop. Why has Maxwell got so much control over me?

"Food's food Heero," he grumbles before gobbling down the next spoon. I had to smile at that - Duo just loves food, even if it does taste like shit. 5 minutes later the whole plate of food has gone. I am impressed, Duo Maxwell never ceases to amaze me.

"So," he begins as I return the plate to the bedside table. "Where the hell are we?"

"The Sanc." I inform, "You're an idiot."

"Yeah, yeah don't I know." He growls, showing his annoyance at his big mistake. Well at least he could admit he'd made mistakes unlike WuFei. "So save me all the crap on how I should have planned it out better, I know I did wrong and I know I must look like the biggest ass in the world at the moment."

"You can say that again." I murmur still slightly angered at his stupidity.

"How long have I been out for?"

"Just over a week."

"Damn!" His amethyst eyes widen as he takes a look around the old dusty room. "This is kinda nice room for a safehouse."

"The house was abandoned when the Peacecraft family where "murdered"" I reply, of course not all members were killed, we both know that. "They left all their stuff behind probably never to return."

"Well shit," he murmurs taking in all the possessions left on the dressing table from a box of jewellery to a line of expensive brushes. His eyes quickly glance down to his hair and then back to the brushes. I think I know what he's thinking.

"When you're feeling a bit better." I state getting up from the bed with the empty plate in my hand. "You were in a bad state when I rescued you, so don't make any plans about getting out of bed to soon."

"What's my condition?"

"4 broken ribs, 5 broken toes, 3 broken fingers, you may have some hairline fractures in your legs however I couldn't feel any major brakes. Severe bruising all over your body and face, and you may have some bruising you your scalp but of course I couldn't tell."

"Well that's a bit shit." I roll my eyes at his comment before I frown as I think back to the day I rescued him.

"I killed them all Duo." I murmur feeling my free hand ball into a fist.

"Good." Was the only reply I got. Turning, I go to leave the room however stopping at the door I warn him not to get out of bed before giving him an evil glare. That usually stops him from doing anything naughty.

It's 5 days later before I let him take his first steps. He wobbled a bit before stabling himself and flashing me a satisfying grin. The swelling on his face has died down a lot, now all that's left is some yellowish bruising.

"The God of Death is up and..." he stops suddenly his nose wrinkling as he sniffs himself, "ready to have a shower ew."

"Second door to the left." I tell him as I watch him exit the room and wonder down the corridor. Scouting through the wardrobes I find a pair of men's jeans (that would probably be slightly too big for him) and a black t-shirt and chuck them on the bed. I left my towels and toiletries in the bathroom for him to use.

2 days before I finally had the courage to leave him on his own and travel to the town on an old bicycle left in the garage. I brought some rich in blood meat and lots of carbs. Maxwell needs to get strong again and the Doctors have only given us 2 more weeks for him to recover (They think we're superhuman). The other pilots are struggling to fight without us in the battlefield I was told. I haven't heard from the others, so the fact is probably true.

Making some jacket potato's and frying some steak, I hear Maxwell enter the room just as I serve up. He's salivating just at the sight of the extra large steaks I brought with the stolen OZ funds in my bank. Bet they would kick themselves knowing they were helping feed the Gundam Pilots. Maxwell woofed his down within 5 minutes before sitting back in his seat and rubbing his swollen stomach.

"Man, Ro you really know how to cook a steak!" He exclaims in bliss and I feel the corners of my mouth raise slightly.

"Thank you."

"Don't suppose there's any desert?"

"Keep dreaming Maxwell."

"Well damn." He grins his mouth slightly crooked from where his lip had been busted. I slowly finish my meal as he chats on about this, that and the other, however he reaches for my plate as I go to wash up.

"Please let me wash up it's the least I can do." I frown slightly but nod my head. He would feel bad if I said no, and I don't want him to feel any more pain until we leave this place.

It's 10 o clock by the time Maxwell has explored the house, gone through every draw and opened every cupboard. He even found a few board games that may come in handy in the next couple of days.

We both head upstairs afterwards me skipping his room were I stayed in the first week and few days to go to my bedroom at the end of the hall. However his hand reaches out for my wrist as I wonder past.

"Please." His voice is pleading while his face...I've never been able to resist the look on face, his eyes.

I know instantly what he wants but I don't think he's up to doing anything physical and I don't think I'm mentally ready for it after nearly loosing him. Nearly loosing Maxwell was nearly like loosing myself. All I want to do is make sure he was OK and on the mend.

I find I can't speak let alone relax as he leads me into his room and pushes me down onto his bed. Crawling on top of me I hear him wince while the look on his face shows he's in a little pain. All of a sudden the atmosphere changes just like it always does. I feel my insides twinge. Leaning towards me, he moves his head to the side so his lips are next to my ear.

"Make me forget." The words sting me into place. I bite my lip as he kisses my earlobe and travels down to my jaw line. I can feel my anger bubbling inside, I can't take advantage of him like this. I don't want to do this any more.

"I..." I find my voice, "Duo I can't." Quickly but carefully I push him off me and stand. Trying to calm my breaths I watch the angered look that comes to his face. This is the first time I've turned him down since we'd began fucking each other. That was all it was, fucking, and that was all it was ever going to be – well for him maybe.

"What is it huh?" He almost yells, "Is it my face, my body? Are you so disgusted at me you can't even fuck me?!"

"Duo..." I sigh, how the am I supposed to get out of this one? I can't tell him how I feel because I don't really understand it myself. Suddenly his whole facial expression changes and is replaced with one I know quite well. It's the face he used at the start when he tried to persuade me to fuck him.

"Heero." He raises from the bed and I watch in sort of horror as he advances towards me. "Please."

"No." I step back but he caught my wrist as I did pulling me towards him, and as always I give in.

"Please I need you." He murmurs, his eyes looking past me and over my shoulder. It just makes me want to scream at him to tell him to stop, but I can't, I've never been able to. "I need you to make me forget. I keep seeing them, I keep remembering the things they did to make me talk..."

My hands turn into fists as he wraps his arms around my waist.

"I can't do this Duo." I say more firmly this time pulling gently away from his touch, he still has his vice grip on my wrist. "Not here, not when you're in this condition."

"You son of a bitch you don't care..." I feel my insides snap into two. How does he know how I feel? I ripped my arm away from his grasp, his eyes widen in shock as I do so.

My teeth are gritted together so hard they feel like they're going to snap. How dare he? But then again why shouldn't he be acting like this, I've fucked him so many times before without hesitation, why should I stop now when he needs it the most?

Why did you have to make this so fucking complicated Yuy?!

His eyes are on me now, indicating he's lost all thought of having sex with me. It's funny I'm probably the worst person in his preference. I feel like I want to be sick as I try and keep my composure – expressionless and motionless. Sometimes I don't understand how I control my emotions on the outside. I think he'd freak if he just heard one bit of what I am really thinking.

How can I feel so much for him when he doesn't feel an ounce of it back for me. How can I be so stupid? How am I feeling like this?

I turn on my heel before my emotions crack and get to out of hand. I gracefully leave the room as if nothings bothering me, move down the stairs and out of the house.

Before I've even left the patio I break out into a run breaking into the thick forest and into the blackness. He doesn't follow, not that I thought he would, not that he ever would. I am nothing to him, like he should be nothing to me. We are just two solders trying to get through this war while just relieving a little bit of the stress by using each other. He's not even my type! Not that I have a type or that it is just limited to boys either. Now we're stuck here for 2 weeks, I'm ordered to look after him and he's ordered to stay here. There's no going against the doctors words, we are in every way screwed.

Slowing down I lapse against a tree trying to calm my heaving breaths. I hate being here, I hate not being able to help the others, I hate having to look after the one person I can call my best friend in the condition he's in and I hate feeling so alone and not in control.

Taking in a deep breath I smell the fresh forest pine, something I've hardly taken notice of before. The forest is so still it almost feels a bit ere, I can hear small animals moving through the bushes nearby. It's weird, how at this very moment it feels like nothing stressful or horrible is happening in the world. The forest seems to peaceful to note that there's a raging war going on about 4 miles away.

Sliding down the length of the tree I crouch at the bottom and drop my head between my knees. J would call me stupid if he found out how much I like Maxwell. He would in some way condition my behaviour away from him saying I'm risking the outcome of the war. I am stupid for feeling what I do for him, I don't even want to feel anything for him. It frustrates me that J never taught me how to control this sort of feeling.

Teenage hormones, that's what it is. Maybe one day I will grow out of it – hopefully that would be soon.

It's a few hours later before I finally return to the house, all the lights are on but there is no distinct movement or sound.

Moving through the house I enter the room with the piano and shut the doors firmly behind me. Duo's room is the furthest away from this room so it shouldn't be too loud for him as I play. Settling down on the piano stool I close my eyes letting my hands wonder over the keys pressing a few to hear them twinkle in response. I take a deep calming breath as I let my hands wonder. J always used to make me play for him, I guess it was his way of trying to keep me in some way human. This is the first time I've ever got to play since the war started, I almost feel a bit rusty. I start up with a classic J loved Debussy – Claire de Lune.

A sudden creak by the door has me snap my eyes open in a second. My hands abruptly stop. Glancing up I find Maxwell at the door. I feel my insides cramp as I realise his eyes are soft and for the first time he is staring back at me. His eyes seem endless like I imagined. Within our locked gaze I notice his head is cocked slightly to the side with a slight crease in his forehead.

"Don't stop." I hear him murmur, his voice hoarse, it almost sounds as if he's been crying. His amethyst eyes are still trained on my face. I want to stop just because he doesn't want me to, because I'm still fucked off with the way he is with me. However I find my hands wondering across the keys again, because this the way it is. This is the control Maxwell has over me.

I watch as he shuffles over to me, nudging me over a little he sits down next to me on the piano stool. I can feel his heated gaze on my face as I try to concentrate on every note. While I can hear his harsh intakes of air and can smell the antiseptics I used to clean his wounds mixed with his distinctive sent.

Glancing quickly in his direction I find he has a crooked smile on his lips as he watches me play.

Keeping my attention on the piano and listening to the beautiful melody, I wasn't ready for Maxwell's touch. He leans against me with his face still turned towards me. We stay silent as I continue to play, the whole time my heart was thumping in my chest wanting to burst out. How does he do this to me? More importantly, how do I stop it before it gets too out of hand?

"I wanted to die after the first week." I hear him murmur making my hands falter for a second, missing one note. "Their methods of getting people to talk aren't very nice..." His eye's turn hard as he drops his head. "They kept going over everything I'd done..." he whispers, "All the children I'd killed...all the families I'd broken."

My hands stop and instantly ball into fists, "They read me the name of every child I'd killed." His hands grip onto the fabric of the jeans I'd given him the other day so tight his knuckles are turning white. "Then they'd beat me until I'd fall unconscious – not that I'd feel any of it. It scared me to death that I couldn't. I felt to numb, too guilty."

"I'm a bad person Heero, I've killed so many people – I didn't sign up for this, I wanted to save the world, save the innocents lives not kill them." I stay silent listening to his harsh breathing and noticing the small specks of tear drops on his jeans. Had I pushed him to this? Is this what would happen if I didn't have sex with him? No that's absurd!

"Yet, I wouldn't let anyone take my place and feel the pain I feel now – I was already going to hell when I first sat in Deathscythe."

Raising his head he stares into my eyes, it makes me stop breathing. I feel my fists tighten as I notice the fresh gleam of tears corning in his beautiful eyes. "I'm sorry."

I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. My head is completely blank, all the anger, the hate, the annoyance I'd just spent the last few hours going over and over in my head just disappeared.

"Can you please..." He murmurs his eyes shifting from left to right as if he was trying to find the words he wants to speak, "just sleep with me tonight?"

I was silent for a moment. He wanted me to sleep with him? No sex.

"Just sleep." I state.

"Just sleep." He confirms nodding his head. We both silently raise from our seats and wonder up stairs. He made himself comfortable against my side his head resting on my bare chest. We both kept our trousers on. As we lay, both of us still awake, it made me wonder over all the good things we were doing as I tried to ignore my own demons.

"The first innocent I ever killed was a little girl." I suddenly find myself saying without consent. I feel Duo's body stiffen next to me. "What made it worse is that I met her before I killed her."

"She was such an innocent, sweet little girl. She'd been walking her new puppy..." I swallow as I try to get my words out. "We met on a field just beside the military base. She asked me if I was lost, she was concerned about me. That night when I blew up the base..." My chest contracts as my memories began to flood back as perfect as ever. The military base on fire, the mobile suit falling into her apartment building. Her puppy on the floor - dead. "Something went wrong, I'd placed a bomb in the wrong place. Her building got knocked down by a falling suit." My eyes snap closed as I remember everything especially her blue eyes. She was the perfect image of everything I fought for – the peace of innocent people, for families and I killed her.

I feel a soft touch on my face and my eyes instantly snap open to see Duo hovering over me. His shimmering eyes full of concern. My skin tingles as he runs his fingers carefully down my face.

"I'm sorry Heero."

"Don't pity me." I murmur checking none of my scary emotions had crossed my features.

"What were you before you became a Gundam Pilot?" Maxwell asks suddenly with a curious look on his face. I know him asking this question is a way of him drawing me out of the dark pit I'd just pulled myself into.

"You don't want to know." I murmur too ashamed to admit I was a killer at aged 8 under the rule of an crazed assassin named Odin Lowe.

"I've been on the streets for most of my life." He continues for the first time not pressing me on something that I didn't want to talk about. "Lived with my gang and best friend Solo. I had the most fun of my life with them."

Shifting away from me he lay on his side his hands resting under his head as he thought back. A small smile comes to his lips.

"That's how I became so good at stealing things, old habits die hard." He chuckles, "We used to steal from this one shop just for the reaction. The shop keeper used to run after us all the time." He has tears in his eyes now as he recalls, "He'd never get us though, the guy was about 20 stone. He'd run for a little while before giving up. We used to call him the 'Jelly Man' you know because he wobbled so much!"

"Duo you're obscene." I smile slightly turning onto my side to stare at him. I see him falter for a second as he notices my smile. I thank God the room is dark so that he can't see my blush. I see his crooked grin get even bigger. I let him continue telling me the great adventures of his childhood and for the first time it feels like I am lying here with my best friend. Duo is after all someone I'd call my best friend, but this time it feels different, like we'd known each other for years. Is it possible to have someone who is your 'lover' and your best friend? He told me about Solo, Skip and Danni and then about Father Maxwell and Sister Helen. I don't know who went first, but I woke with a start to find the room light and the sun in the middle of the sky. We'd both slept till mid day. Something I NEVER do. Duo's still fast asleep sprawled across the top of me.

The next 2 weeks drift by so fast. Too fast for my liking. We'd played board games, football, gone exploring in the forest and played numerous games of hide and seek (Duo for some reason liked to play that game. I think it was because it was the only game he could beat me at). I slept in Duo's room every night not that I could complain, but it didn't help my situation over what I felt about him at all. However when the last night came, he remained silent. All I heard since that night was Duo's crazy stories. I felt bad for not telling him about me.

The silence is thick in the dusty bedroom and maybe I am stupid for thinking that maybe Duo doesn't want to leave this house as much as I don't. Maybe he's just run out of stories. Anyway the world needs us now. The other's need us, we'd already spent way to much time here.

"I don't remember my childhood before I met Odin." I murmur into the darkness trying to fill the tense gap. I feel Duo's head shift upwards to look up at me. "Odin was my...let's say tutor and I was his trainee assassin."

"He taught me nearly everything I know today, how to boost cars, fire the perfect shot, wire explosives, fight every kind of combat. He made me into what I am today through constant wear and tear."

"I'm not like every normal human, I'm stupidly strong, I think too rational and don't consider other people, I..." I stop before I travel down that depressing line.

"Odin died on a particular hard mission and that's when I met J. He was just as clever as Odin however he did let me have a little time to myself. He taught me how to play the piano and how to dance." I didn't add the additional reason – just to keep me human.

"I never had a childhood." The room lapses into silence. I feel my heart begin to speed up, have I said too much? Does he think I'm a freak?

"When the war's over we can." I never missed the word we. Did he mean us together? The idea died before it got chance to develop.

"I never planned to survive." I whisper, the words stinging me. Suddenly Duo's warm presence is gone. He's shifted back and is glaring at me with the uttermost horrified expression on his face.

"Don't you dare say that again!" He almost yells.

"Duo I was made for this war, I don't exist outside it."

"Bullshit!" He's yelling now, anger clearly showing across his beautiful face. "You're your own person Heero, you are not a machine built to kill. Jesus Fucking Christ!"

"Duo, even if I do survive this war, which is highly unlikely, what am I going to do? I have no name, no purpose."

"You're Heero." He growls, "You have a purpose, and that is to live now and after the war."

"I don't know if I can do that." I didn't anticipate the blow as it crossed my cheeks. His punch was strong, but it wasn't his strongest. He's holding back. He's never done that before.

"Son of a bitch." He hisses, "Damn it Heero, I..." He cut off, lost for words, the anger still growing on his face.

"I'm Sorry." I murmur. "It's just that's all I've been told for my whole life." His face softens.

"You're an idiot." I smirk at his words.

"I learn from the best." He chuckles at mine the anger instantly washed from his face. He slowly retakes his place and leans his head back on my chest. The fight seems to have taken all his energy from him. 5 minutes later he's snoring softly. 5 hours later my first mission comes in. Leaving him sleeping I leave placing a goodbye note and enough money to rent a car from the local town on the bedside table. It feels more painful than self destruction as I finally shut the back door and head off north to where I'd left Wing. At least if I did die in this war I would die with some happy memories. Even if Duo never felt what I feel for him, his friendship would always be enough for me.

TBC...

R&R