Rehab

Title: Rehab

Pairings: 1X2, 3X4, 5X (secret), 1+OC...

Warnings: SEX! (Lol), Angst, Violence, Foul Language and so on!

Summary: To pent his frustration throughout the war Duo turns to Heero for no-strings attached sex not knowing the silent solider would start to develop feelings for him. Now the wars over and Duo has turned to Hilde to start a new life leaving Heero stranded and unknowing how to deal with the emotion called 'Love'.

Disclaimer: If I owned Gundam Wing it would be never ending!

Author's note: I thought of this idea while listening to Rihanna's song 'Rehab' and it all just came pouring out. It's going to be a multi-part fic; some chaps will have some of the lyrics to the song at the start while others won't

Chapter 9

The next morning I wake early with an unsettling feeling deep in the pit of my stomach and for the first time in a while I wish I had a spare cigarette. No doubt it's down to the picture currently resting against the night light on my bedside table tormenting me to no end. I just wish it was a clear print allowing me to gain a look at the expression on his face.

I spend an hour studying it with a million questions coming to mind.

Why was he there?

Was he worried about me?

Did he plan to reach me before Relena submitted me to Hell (hospital)?

Maybe I've been staring at the faded photograph for far too long because I swear I can see some concern wrinkling his faded face. But he couldn't have been concerned - he'd run half way across the universe before I'd even had the all ok.

I shake my head. Maybe he only wanted to see if I was alive before leaving. Duo always seemed to think I had super healing powers.

I place the photograph back on my night stand, turning it wrong side up. I silently rub my sore leg as I recall Greys words of his faith to step on the Earth and Colonies again – I wish in some way I felt the same. At the moment I feel empty. After the small glimmer of hope after reading "Wings" seeing the photograph of Duo has completely shot my nerves.

I get up and stretch before heading for a shower. I strip out of my pyjama bottoms on the way and hang them over the desk chair. As I found out when I first showered everything in the small bathroom gets soaked.

As I step under the steaming spray and begin to wash myself down something Grey said last night niggles at the back of my mind.

Why hasn't the issue of colony X18999 inhabitants been dealt with already? I frown grabbing some body wash. Surely that would be one of the first things to be resolved in a time of peace.

What's stopping the union from processing new passports? I carefully wash my wounded leg.

The whole situation seems preposterous, why would the newly reformed union not want to resolve a matter this serious as quickly as possible?

It's almost as if they want to forget the ex-colony X18999 residences existed. Maybe they don't care that over a million of people are stuck drifting in space just waiting.

The thought makes my blood boil, after everything we fort for civilians are still being taken advantage of. Or maybe they have something more pressing on their agenda. If that's the case I wonder what it could be.

By the time I've jumped out the shower and quickly dressed there is a careful knock on my door.

I rapidly pull on my boots made by a local tailor down in the ships shopping centre and almost sigh in annoyance of the whole situation as I move to open the door.

If only I hadn't of told Jason I was good with mechanics I could have avoid having to spend the whole day with the Captain who makes me... I run a hand through my wet hair. Nervous? No. More uneasy, he's hard to read unlike Jason.

I pull the door open quickly. For almost a second Grey seems taken back, his green eyes flicker up to my still wet hair and then down to meet my gaze.

"Good Morning Heero," he says finally. His lip curls in amusement as he notices my annoyance that he is forcing me out today. "You ready for a hard days labour?"

"More than I'll ever be," I mumble taking a step out into the corridor and closing my cabin door behind me. Today he's wearing a dark blue long sleeved top with some well lived in faded jeans. What throws me however are the horrible dark green willies he's chosen to wear.

I frown, "What exactly are we doing?"

"Don't ask questions just follow," he orders like he would do with any other person on his ship. I wonder silently what quality he brought forward to win the position as Captain of the RedStar.

He strides off towards the South end of the ship and I nearly have to struggle to keep up with his long strides. As I become level with him I see a smirk briefly cross his features and I instantly know he's set the pace just to see me struggle in the condition I'm in. Bastard.

We travel down a number of corridors getting deeper into the monstrous ship. He smiles politely and says 'Good Morning' to everyone we pass. In response he receives what a respected Captain would– 'Good Morning Captain Grey' and a bow. I'm amazed at how everyone seems to admire him in some way or another and in this instance keep to formalities. I honestly can't see myself doing that in this life time.

What does amuse me however is the look of wonder and lust he gains from most females we cross. They seem to become flustered and uneasy in his presence. Most fluttering their eye lashes to try and gain his attention. I guess being the Captain he's probably seen as the catch of the colony – that's assuming his single.

I don't bother to hide my smirk as I see a look of irritation cross his features as a small red head smiles flirtatiously towards him. His mood darkens and he scowls as he notices how amusing I'm finding it all. Serves you right Grey for making me strain my leg.

It's another 20 minutes before we reach a large elevator. Stepping in Grey orders it sternly to the 8th floor. The lift complies. We stand in a deafening silence as I ponder over where he's taking me. I never know what to expect when around Captain Grey – especially when he's in wellies.

I take a peak in his direction and notice how good his posture is. His tattoos have trickled into view from where his long sleeved top has risen up his arm. Once again I'm mesmerised by them.

The ping of the elevator doors opening makes me jump and curse quietly to myself.

"You ok?" he asks looking amused as hell. I scowl in return and turn away from him. Arsehole.

It takes me a moment to even register what I am staring at on the other side of the elevator doors. I hear a gasp escape my mouth. I blink and then blink again. How can this even be possible?

I turn to the Captain who has a smug look on his face. His green eyes twinkle with pride. He says nothing but cocks his head towards the exit indicating for me to go first.

I move slowly and unsure, as I cross the threshold I hear my boots crunch down onto freshly cut grass. For the first time in my life I am in shock. My mouth is hanging wide open and I apply no effort to hide the fact that what I see in front of me is beyond belief.

I feel as if I've just stepped off the RedStar and onto Earth.

Suddenly the wellies make sense.

What looks like acres of land lye in front of my eyes half covered by millions of vegetable patches. Now it makes sense how the kitchens are constantly supplied with fresh vegetables and fruits. I watch stricken as hundreds of crew members work their fingers to the bone digging for potatoes, picking runner beans and all sorts whilst planting new ones as they go along.

The other half of the land is covered by millions of fruit trees and a small meadow housing a number of different animals. A small, sparkling river runs through the middle. Rushing sounds of the flowing water echo through the huge domed room. The smell of the rich green grass reaches my senses and for almost a second I forget we are on a ship in the middle of God knows where.

The ceiling has been replicated like any other colony showing a bright blue sky on a beautiful summer's day. Even a slight breeze has been simulated to gush through the room; I feel it gently lift my over grown hair reminding me that I will have to cut it sometime soon.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath as I wrap my arms around myself. Another gust of wind rushes past and ripples up my t-shirt causing small goose pimps to rise on my arms. I let out a sigh as I try to imagine it wiping away all my angst from this morning.

When I come back to reality I find the Captain standing in front of me. His green eyes trained on my face boring into me whilst trying to knock through the walls I've been building for the past few months. It's his inquisitive, probing eyes that make me uneasy.

I feel my cheeks heat up at my major over reaction for the fake simulation. I guess I'm missing Earth more than I thought. Then the realisation hits me that this is what everyone on this ship must be feeling. I can go back any time I want but they are stuck here.

I feel anger swirl in the pit of my stomach as I see the longing in Grey's eyes as he turns to look back out at the planes before us.

It's not fair.

"What is this?" I ask finally

"The RedStar used to be a carrier to aid planet terraformation and the creation of the colonies," he informs. "That's why she's so big; the manual labour to build a colony goes into the millions. The crew would be stuck in space for years building –" he trails off, I can feel angst radiating off him.

"Did you help build the colonies?" I ask intrigued and wondering how the hell he came in possession of this ship.

His green eyes flicker towards me for a second, "Between being a soldiers', yes, we all did – colony X18999 only managed to house its creators before it was shut down."

My stomach twists at the thought. Everyone on this ship was just working toward building a new home for people to live on. I feel shame towards the world I've come from.

Then it dawns on me something Relena had said to me when she'd collected me from the hell hole I'd built for myself on Earth: "the colony was never built properly as it was only supposed to last a couple of years before it was dropped on Earth"

Did they know about this? They must have, they were the ones building the damned thing.

Does that mean Grey was involved with Operation Meteor?

Did he know the colonies purpose?

Were they all involved?

I wonder how they would feel about housing one of the Gundam Pilots who thought against their plan to kill millions of people and take over the world. I feel my teeth grit in anger and suddenly I don't feel like socialising with the criminals of the RedStar.

They must have known.

"Come," I hear Grey speak again and I have to resist from scowling at him. "We've got work to do."

He leads me out into the vegetable patches and we weave our way through tall bean stalks and strawberry bushes. I can feel tension in my back as I feel the eyes of all the workers on me as I follow the Captains determined strides. Once again I notice Grey has drawn most of the female workers attention.

If they were all involved in Operation Meteor is that the reason why they're being denied access to Earth and the Colonies?

Is it their punishment to be stuck in space for the rest of their lives?

Grey's voice cuts sharply through my thoughts "Since Jason's in the kitchen I only saw it fitting that you work in the vegetable fields. You will take the place of Kieran Taylor. He's recently been admitted to hospital for an operation so his return date at the moment is unforeseeable."

"Yes Sir," I murmur mockingly with anger still swirling in my stomach. He glances over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow.

"You will be working with his sister Robyn in the potato fields; she will guide you on what to do." I notice as he says her name there's a hint of warmth in his voice.

"No problem," I murmur suddenly hating the thought of having to work closely with someone who probably hates my guts. And from the looks I've been gaining I don't think my presence here is very welcome.

Anyway why would I need guidance on how to dig for potatoes? Surely the dumbest person in the whole universe could do that blind folded. He's probably placed me with her so she can keep an eye on me. I scowl towards the man in front of me. If that's the case then what's he doing?

"What are you doing?" I ask my tone sounding slightly bitter

Grey once again glances over his shoulder at me, his green eyes briefly reaching mine.

"Supervising, helping where needed" he explains vaguely before turning towards where a girl with long copper hair is crouched on the muddy ground digging most likely for potatoes.

"Robyn!" he calls out causing her head to snap up.

Robyn Taylor has large grey eyes which look too big for her small face. Her skin is pale but healthy however at the moment the majority of it is covered in dirt she'd accidently wiped on herself. I notice how small her frame is as she stands to greet the captain. She's wearing old jean dungarees and a ripped black t-shirt underneath. She also is wearing green wellies.

"Landon!" she salutes with a wink and I see a fleeting grin cross Grey's features. He obviously does not mind this woman. "Brought me a slave for the day?" She turns to me and most blatantly checks me out. Her large eyes run up and down me in approval before turning back to Grey. "I approve!"

"Heero I'd like you to meet Robyn Taylor, she's head supervisor of our vegetable plantation" Grey explains. Robyn holds out her hand however drops it as I attempt to make no move to receipt. I nod a hello instead and she accepts it seemingly unfazed.

"Hope you had a good night's sleep Heero cus you're in for a hard day's work," she says with a smile. "We have some potatoes in season that need to be dug up ASAP before Landon has a break down when he realises there's no chips on the menu." She sticks her tongue out towards the young Captain who rolls his eyes.

"On that note I'll leave you two to it," he announces before making a quick getaway.

Robyn smiles at me, "come I'll find you a spare trowel."

A few minutes later she has me crouched down on the soil explaining which lines of potatoes need to be dug and which ones need to wait until next season – whenever that is. I wonder what day of the week it is – or in fact what month it is.

"You should find the spuds around 7 inches down," Robyn concludes

"How far does the soil go down?" I asked generally interested as I pick up a load in my hand and watch it fall freely through my fingers.

"Around 4 feet, isn't it amazing how something like this can exist on a space ship?"

"Incredible, I assume this was here before – well you know," I say my voice trailing off

"Before we were out casted?" she says amused with how uncomfortable I have become. I nod.

"Yes," she continues, "the RedStar was built around 5 years ago. Landon designed and created this room with the help of myself straight out of university. It was the first of her kind. Over 500,000 people worked to build this ship over 3 years."

I frown at the thought. Grey created this room?

"Landon majored in some weird ass degree which allowed him to envision and create an environment which would be able to sustain travel on a space craft. He told me once that there was a difference between the physics of an environment based on a colony than on a spaceship – not that I remember any of that hard core scientist shit." I smile.

"He was one of the core creators of the RedStar. He has a talent for mechanics as well – amazing huh?"

I have to blink in surprise, "Yes."

"I just helped pick out the right things to plant at the right times – I'm very green fingered. I used to be L3's best gardener." I see a glint of pride in her eyes as she remembers back. "I made my name there by organising how the colony would be landscaped to make the most of the space. Landon caught drift of my talent and hired me for his little project"

So he was involved in the whole project– he must have known about Operation Meteor.

"Has the ship always been this big?"

"We've built upon it since X18999 which is why she's so large now. At the start there were more of us before – well – before the others left." She turns away and starts to stab at the ground with her trowel and I know instantly she doesn't want me to question about the others.

I begin to dig and within a few hours I've gathered hundreds of potatoes. It's weird to think a few months ago I would never have thought I'd be here on the RedStar ship digging up potatoes. Not that I really thought about my future much at all or now. What am I going to do when I leave?

I really don't want to return to the pit of sorrow I'd dug myself on Earth. Maybe I could go travelling and see the world and colonies. During the war I went to many places but never had the time to appreciate it. All of my time was spent planning for missions and making sure my cover was not being blown by some braided Baka. I curse to myself – I will not think about him.

Is this what my life is coming to?

Why can't I think about him without feeling pain?

By the time I return to my room that night I feel exhausted and stupid. I haven't done anything all day except sit on the floor and dig. Maybe thinking about Duo has completely wiped me out and drained all the energy from my body.

If the people on this colony can accept that they are to live in space for the unforeseeable future, why can't I accept the fact that me and Duo were never meant to be?

For some unknown reason, maybe it's down to my tiredness or my frustration, I sit on my bed and allow myself to let go. I feel one tear slowly trickle down my face and my breathing become haggard.

I can't keep doing this to myself. I need to accept and move on. If I can't then how can I ever begin to plan my future? I can't keep thinking about what could have been or what I could have done to make him want to stay with me.

With a huge deep breath I get up and grab the picture of Duo from my night stand. I can't keep staring at this picture wondering why he was there and if he was concerned.

With great emotional strength I rip it into two and then into quarters and continue to rip until my only picture of Duo is lay in my lap as little tiny centimetre squares.

Months, years even, of grieving for someone who does not want you surely can't be healthy. I know this; I've been thinking it ever since he left with Hilde after the war.

Gathering up the pieces I wonder into the bathroom and hover my hand over the toilet. I feel my heart skip a beat.

"I need to let you go Duo," I whisper. With a gasp of pain I let go of the ripped remains. I flush the chain quickly afterwards and watch the pieces swirl around before disappearing.

It takes me a moment to register what I have just done and the significance of it.

One small step at a time – just like my physio with Chloe.

I turn and find myself staring into the bathroom mirror. A few months ago I vowed never to look at myself in the mirror again. I remember seeing how empty I looked. I had nothing; I'd given up hope of anything.

I almost have to double take as I stare at myself now. Faintly I can see a light in my eyes burning and fighting for life. It reminds me of the way Trowa looked after my self destruction.

Never give up.

A smile tugs on my lips.

For the first time in a while I sleep deeply.

TBC...

Hey guys I have officially over come my writers block! I hope you enjoyed the new chapters, please leave me a review I'd love to hear what you think! Now to get on writting "The Deal" :)