Chapter 2 War of the religions!

Me: Sorry for the late update got stuck with a lot of work but this chapter should more than make up for it, and as you can probably tell this chapter is going to be about the war of the religions and I will most likely piss a lot of people of in this chapter seeing as how this is a religious war chapter. If anyone gets mad or upset because something bad or incorrect was said about your religion remember that it is going to be a religious argument and should not be taken seriously, thank you and hope you like the chapter.

"Shut the fuck up Hidan before I kick your ass! I commanded Hidan making him stare at me like I was crazy.

"Who the fuck do you think you are talking to me like that? I'll kill you for that!" Hidan exclaimed before sending his scythe towards me from the left side.

I dodged it fairly easily while grabbing part of it and pulling Hidan towards me and kicked him in his ribs sending him flying towards the wall using speed and force much stronger and faster than he expected throughout the whole thing.

"I thought you said there were no ninja in this strange world." I heard Pain's voice from behind me and quickly realizing he had just witnessed that I knew that if I wanted to keep their trust I would have to explain a little more.

"He's not a ninja, he's just a good fighter although he has been in a couple bad fights which is why he has a couple of scars that I know you seen yesterday." Nikki explained saving my life.

"YEAH AND THE LITTLE PRICK IS ABOUT TO GET A HELL OF A LOT MORE!" Hidan exclaimed while jumping from across the room scythe in hand.

"You shall not harm them Hidan." Pein said calmly making Hidan stop in midair stay there for a second then fall face first on the floor

"What else are you not telling us?" Konan asked emerging from the shadows.

"Who else is here?" I asked knowing at least one person or thing was hiding.

"There is no one else here." Itachi said knowingly.

"Wait for it." I told them seeing the sun rising.

"What do you mean?" Kakazu asked sounding irritated when his question was answered. The front door flew open and my friend Jessica came running towards the kitchen and the akatsuki members just jumped to the shadows and hid as well as possible.

Jessica continued running until she smashed directly into me as Nikki stood there walking towards the shower when I yelled at her "No way Nikki I didn't get my shower last night I am getting it right now!" Which instantly made Jessica get off me.

30 minutes later*

I had just finished showering and getting dressed when I heard a scream that was very fangirly. Although I didn't have to guess what happened next when I heard Itachi asking what someone screamed at. After walking calmly down the stairs and into the living room I figured out that me and Nikki were screwed seeing as how Jessica was standing there grinning like an evil, perverted genius. "What do you want?" Itachi asked her.

"To see your dick… wait did I just say that out loud? Fuck!" She said realizing what she had done.

O.O "What. The. Fuck." Itachi said creeped out.

"Why the fuck can't I get as many bitches as the emo fucker here?!" Hidan asked.

"Because yours end up getting split in half." Kakazu stated while looking at Jessica.

"State your name and purpose here!" Pein yelled at her.

"Shut the fuck up you bitch this is my house you don't get to say that shit here." I told him making sure he understood this.

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO GOD THAT WAY!?" Konan exclaimed.

"HOW DARE YOU EAT THE FUCKING DOUGHNUT!?" I yelled back at her.

O.o… "What?" She asked me completely confused.

I then began literally rolling on the floor laughing.

"Sorry he just had some crack so he has no clue what's going on." Nikki said rolling her eyes.

"BULL SHIT EMMMOOOLY!" I said acting like I was drunk.

"What. The. Fuck. Did you just call me?" Nikki asked me completely pissed.

"Uh. Um. Nothing….?" I said hoping not to get killed.

"Don't. Ever! Call me Emily again!" Nikki said angrily towards me.

"And why the fuck not?" Hidan asked before seeing hell in Em- I mean Nikki's eyes.

"Because I'll chop off your balls and shove them up Kakazu's ass." Nikki said with an evil smile.

"Why am I involved in this?" Kakazu asked disturbed.

"Because you too are partners anyway." Nikki stated matter of factly.

"Then shouldn't you shove them up Kisame's ass?" I asked her confused.

"Oh yeeeeeeaaaaaahhhh. KISAME GET YOUR BLUE ASS OVER HERE!" Nikki commanded.

"What did I do this time?" The blue man asked.

"What do you mean this time?" I asked.

"… No comment…." Kisame stated getting many wtf looks from the people around.

"WHERES THE PORN I WANNA MASTURBATE!?" Hidan exclaimed as loud as he could.

"Hidan what is wrong with you?" Pein asked him with his head held in his right hand.

"Follow me." I said grinning at what was going to happen.

Me: Sorry about this chapter being short but there is a couple of lemons in the next chapter if you guess them all you can either get a spoiler or I can send you inappropriate pictures.

Nikki: No you can't send them a cookie.

Hidan: Do I get to masturbate?

Jess: No you get laid.

Me: Well people were going to guess him any way.

Nikki: Warning the next chapter has readable porn for people who don't know what lemons are.

Me: Really?