A/N: Hehehe...

oOo

Ever since Wash pranked Church, Blue Base has been noisier than usual. It started off as little jokes, like Church saran-wrapping Wash's door, or Wash swapping the sugar and the salt (a perfectly good cup of coffee lost its life that day). Then one day Church decided to take things to the next level.

"AGH!" Wash's cry of distress could be heard all throughout Blue Base. Tucker, who had (wisely) stayed out of the prank war, shot a look at a smug Church.

"What did you do to him?" he asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"You'll see," Church replied, not looking up from his newspaper.

A few minutes later, a very peeved Washington stormed into the kitchen. Upon seeing what was on the Freelancer's head, Tucker burst out laughing. Said Freelancer stomped up to Church.

"Care to explain this?!" Wash growled, pointing to his hair, which was an attractive shade of orange.

"You murdered an innocent cup of coffee last week. You know how much I love my morning cup of coffee."

"Where the hell did you get the hair dye?!" Wash shouted. Then it hit him. Donut. Grinning, he said, "You do know what this means, right?"

"Uhh..." Church did not like the tone of Wash's voice, or the look on his face.

"Since you got a Red to help you, anyone in the canyon can be a pranker or the pranked."

"I call bullshit!"

"Dude, he's right," Tucker said to Church. "In a prank war, the instant someone pulls a prank with 'the enemy' or someone not 'in' the war, it's assumed that everyone is now open for pranking."

Church groaned.

"However," the normally aqua-clad soldier continued. "you cannot prank the same person twice in a row, or whoever helped you with the last prank you pulled. And the instant you pull a prank, you're in the war."

Church scowled and glared at Wash.

"I'm not selling out who helped me."

"I already know who it is." With that, Wash turned and walked away, laughing.

Groaning again, Church plopped back down on his chair. Tucker and Church looked at each other.

"You're screwed," Tucker said matter-of-factly.

"I know."

oOo

Upon arriving at Red Base, the first thing Wash did was dump a bucket of ice-cold water on a snoozing Grif. The second thing he did was seek out Simmons, which wasn't too hard. He was always doing something to the jeep.

"Hey, Simmons."

The maroon-clad soldier crawled out from under the jeep, covered in oil, grease, and dirt.

"Waddya want, Blue?"

Wiping his head with a dirty towel, he did a double-take when he saw Wash's hair.

"What the hell happened to your hair?!"

"Church and Grif is what happened. Look, there's something I need you to help me with..."

oOo

There was a present in front of Church's door the next day. He stared at the poorly wrapped box for a few minutes, even after reading the tag. (Tow mie beest friend, luve Cabus)

Church was suspicious. A present in front of his door the day after he pranked Wash? Yeah, fuck that. There was no way he was opening that thing.

At breakfast, Caboose asked Church if he opened the present yet. He replied, saying that he wanted to be awake enough to appreciate the thoughtful gift. Wash smirked behind his cereal.

Huffing, Church grabbed the present and slammed his door. If it was from Caboose, what was the worse that could happen? Wait, nevermind. This was Caboose we're talking about here.

Unwrapping the box, Church figured that it was probably another stuffed animal when-

POW!

Church's vision was obscured by something very colorful for about 30 seconds. When he could see again, he screamed in rage.

There was confetti everywhere.

A small piece of paper drifted in front of Church's face. He snatched it out of the air, scattering the confetti on his body. Once the rainbow-colored cloud settled, he read the note.

'Have fun cleaning up!
-Wash and Simmons'

Son of a bitch.

oOo

~A few days later...~

Simmons was walking outside to fix the jeep's brakes when he stopped dead in his tracks. He just stood there, staring for a good minute before he ran back inside the base, yelling for Grif.

It was bad enough that the jeep was painted blue, and was covered in glitter. Especially since it was painted blue, since Sarge would blow a fuse when he saw it. But also being egged and covered in graffiti? Simmons was a dead man at that point.

When Grif saw the vehicle, he had a long laughing fit, erasing Simmons's suspicion that he was the one that did it.

"Grif, stop laughing and help me clean up! We can't let Sarge see this!" Simmons screeched at Grif.

"See what?"

Simmons went pale and slowly turned to face Sarge. Even Grif stopped laughing.

Sarge was just standing there, staring at the Warthog, his face becoming as red as his armor. He opened his mouth to say something a few times, but said nothing. Eventually, he turned and walked back into the base. Before he entered, he said, "I'm gittin' maw Shotgun."

Grif and Simmons looked at each other before booking it for Blue Base.

Church was about to go on patrol when an orange and maroon-colored blur races past him into the base. He just stood there for a few moments before finally saying, "...what?"

The three Blues were shocked to see a panicked Grif and Simmons suddenly barge into the living room.

"You have to hide us from Sarge!" Simmons cried. He started spewing out gibberish before Tucker interrupted him.

"Woah, chill the fuck out, dude. What exactly happened?"

"Oh, like you don't already know what happened to the jeep!" Simmons scoffed.

"What's this about the jeep?" Church asked as he walked into the room, helmet tucked under his arm.

"Yeah," Wash said. "all that we did was steal Sarge's shotgun."

"You what?!" Simmons yelled. Grif let out a small chuckle.

"Wait, then...who did it?" The maroon soldier asked. He was greeted with silence and confused faces. Who, indeed?

~Elsewhere~

Lopez silently laughed as he watched the two Reds run for Blue Base. No-one would ever suspect him. After all, he was only Lopez, the forgettable spanish-speaking robot.

"(Morons,)" he muttered.

~Back at Blue Base~

An explosion shook the base. Church swore under his breath and said, "Grif, Simmons, stay here and watch Caboose." Tucker, Wash, and Church raced up the ramp to the roof as the base shook again.

"DIRTY BLUES! YOU'LL PAY FER WHAT YA DID TO MAW JEEP!" Sarge hollered, reloading the Rocket Launcher.

"But we didn't do it!" tucker whispered to Wash.

"Just go with it!" Wash whispered back.

"Don't you think you're overreacting a bit?!" Church hollered back at the Red Sargent.

The Blues ducked as a rocket sailed overhead.

"I'll take that as a 'no!'"

"First, you defile maw jeep. Then, ya steal maw Shotgun! Now, you have maw men! What is the meaning of this?!"

"Uh..." Thinking fast, Wash yelled back, "April Fools! You've just been pranked!"

"This must be some diabolical plan to...huh?"

"Y-yeah!" Tucker added. "There's been a massive prank war going on, and now you're in it!"

Sarge stood there, silent. As time went by, the three Blues grew nervous. What could be going through his head? Then, out of nowhere, Sarge started to laugh. Yes. Laugh.

"Hell, I reckon I can be a good sport and laugh this off. I pulled off my fair share of pranks in maw youth. But, in all seriousness, I would like maw Shotgun back."

"It's over by the crashed Pelican," Wash replied. The Blues relaxed. Sarge nodded and walked away.

Walking back downstairs, Church told the two Reds that it was probably safe to go back to their base. But seriously. GTFO.

For the next few days, there was an unsaid cease-fire. Everyone was enjoying the peace, for a change. But everyone knows that 'peaceful' and 'Blood Gulchers' don't mix.

oOo

A/N: Cliffhanger! Kinda. Not really. Meh.

The main reason I stopped was because I ran out of ideas. Sadface.

Feel free to leave suggestions for pranks!