Garrus Vakarian had spent hours looking at vids from Earth to get a better grip on human customs. To say that the turian was puzzled, was a tremendous understatement.
Garrus was intrigued and puzzled by holidays. One that caught his attention was called Halloween, a day in which children went to strangers' houses to ask for candy while adorned in varying costumes. "Hardly safe. It'd be simple to poison an entire city's children in one night." He remarked, a tad bit disgusted.
Clicking on another vid, he was informed about Christmas. It was a day for giving gifts to children and family members, typically celebrated only by people of specific faiths. He figured differences in religion often cause issues on Earth.
A suggestion for a holiday called "Valentine's Day" appeared on the screen. Garrus blinked and selected the vid, figuring it would be another religious holiday, or a corporate holiday as some had deemed it.
His assumption was correct. Immediately upon the vid being accessed, there were depictions of people receiving precious gems, gift bags, and delicacies . However, his attention was immediately grabbed by something else in the video.
"Although Valentine's Day had other meanings in the past, modern human society views it as a day for lovers. They often give each other gifts as a sign of affection. This holiday is usually only celebrated by lovers or people with mutual romantic ties towards one another. It is customary that people make their affections known on this day." The narrator of the vid stated.
Garrus paused the vid and crossed his arms over his chest. "EDI, I need information."
"Certainly, Garrus." The AI appeared in blue before Garrus. "What is your inquiry?"
"I need to know about an Earth holiday, Valentine's Day." The Turian responded.
The AI hesitated for a moment. "May I be made aware of your reasoning for the inquiry? I see no direct link between this holiday and the mission."
Garrus grunted. "I just need to know when it is."
"As you wish," The AI went silent for a moment. "Typically on Earth, Valentine's Day was celebrated on the second earth month, February, on the fourteenth day. It would appear that in Earth time, that would be today."
Garrus blinked. "Thank you EDI."
"You are welcome, Garrus. Do you need anything else regarding the holiday?" The AI asked.
"No thank you, EDI."
"Logging you out."
Garrus was about to head out of the main battery when EDI's voice chirped once more. "And Garrus,"
"Yes, EDI?"
"Data shows that on Valentine's Day, flower sales are at their record high. It is a traditional gift. I would not recommend flowers for Commander Shepard, if supplying her with gifts is your intention. She has not had very good luck with her fish in her quarters... Perhaps something that is not living would be ideal."
"...Thank you, EDI."
"Logging you out, Garrus."
...
Garrus knew that the Commander was dealing with some thugs on the Citadel and would be too preoccupied with her dealings to even be aware that he was there.
After landing, he walked quickly through security and out into the crowds, looking for any type of vendor that sold something that spoke romance to him. He felt a wave of discouragement when he realized that the majority of the vendors on the Citadel only sold military goods.
"Nothing speaks romance like a weapon upgrade or a replica of a ship in the alliance fleet." Garrus muttered after visiting the sixth shop he passed. With a shrug, he headed into Citadel Souvenirs. Upon entering, he immediately heard the recorded voice of Shepard voice her usual advertisement that she used to get discounts.
"I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite store on the Citadel."
Garrus smirked. "Went that far for a discount, Shep?" he muttered to himself.
"Hello, could I offer you assistance? If not, our kiosk is located right there." The Asari clerk gestured to the kiosk with a smile.
"Well, what do you have?" The turian responded, leaning against the counter.
"Well, Sir, most of our goods are out of stock. However, we have one of the largest selection of fish on the Citadel!"
Garrus scowled and marched out of the store. "Damn this holiday. Damn these stupid human traditions driving me crazy-"
"Garrus?"
With wide eyes, Garrus turned to the left and met Shepard's confused expression. "Uh, hey, Shepard. I was just..." He sighed and realized that there was no way he could celebrate Valentine's Day with Shepard, or lie to her about his reasoning for being on the Citadel. He thought back to the vid and what it told him about the holiday. So he sucked in a deep breath and did something bold.
Shepard's eyes went wide when she finally realized that Garrus was kissing her, and rather vigorously. She was shocked, but after a moment she gave in and kissed him back. When they finally broke apart, Shepard cocked an eyebrow. "Missed me, Vakarian?"
"Hm, something like that." the turian replied. "You know, human customs are even more difficult to get adjusted to than you are." He cupped her cheek with his hand. "Happy Valentine's Day."
"Valentine's Day?" Shepard looked up at him in surprise. Then she looked over his shoulder at the store that he had retreated out of. "Is that why you're on the Citadel? You know I don't need anything, Garrus." She kissed him on the cheek. "Now let's get back to the Normandy."
...
Garrus was not satisfied when he returned to the Normandy. He had full intentions to celebrate the holiday with Shepard, she deserved it. Although he hated to ask for assistance from a fellow crewman, he headed down to the bridge.
"Joker." Garrus called out as he approached the pilot.
"Oh boy, if it isn't my favorite turian." Joker turned in his chair to look at Garrus. "I thought you were content being holed up in that dark, dusty battery."
"Funny." Garrus replied, attempting to disregard the pilot's comment. "I need to ask you about some Earth customs."
"Well that's too bad. I spent most of my time on the Arcturus Station, not on Earth." Joker stared boredly at the turian. "Why don't you run along and ask Shepard about it. That's where she's from afterall."
Garrus shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. "I can't ask her. Now tell me, what do you know about Valentine's Day?"
"Oh, Valentine's Day. Never took you as the romantic type, Garrus." Joker teased. "A couple of the guys on the station used to talk about Valentine's Day. Usually involved them smuggling in hookers for the night. Or drinking their sorrows away."
Garrus frowned. "Sounds like a good time, but not what I'd like to hear."
"Yeah, well, those are human customs for you. Though, I used to overhear some of the female medical staff on the station from Earth rambling on about romantic candlelit dinner, chocolates, dancing. All that silly stuff that women seem to love." Joker laughed a bit. As Garrus began to brainstorm, Joker cut into his thoughts. "If you're thinking about doing something with the Commander, I wouldn't recommend dancing."
...
Garrus went to the crew's quarters and walked up to Mess Sergeant Gardner. The turian cleared his throat. "Hello there."
"Hey, Garrus." The Mess Sergeant grunted as he scrubbed down some cooking ware. "What brings you out of that hole of yours down the hall?"
Garrus sighed. He really needed to leave the battery more often. He disregarded the comment. "I was wondering if you had any...higher quality meals you could prepare. Something that you could give to a human woman and not send her vomiting. Or make her die."
"Well, that seems like a simple enough task. What's the occasion?" The Mess Sergeant asked, wiping his hands off on a towel.
"I was planning on surprising the Commander." Garrus confessed. "I think she deserves some quality food after all this thug-hunting."
'Uh-huh. That's it?" Gardner looked thoroughly unconvinced. "Well, either way, sure. I'll throw some chicken marsala together. Rare, ya' know; chicken. At least out this far into space. I was saving it for a special occasion, but this seems fair enough. Come back in about twenty minutes."
Garrus turned and headed promptly from the mess hall, down to the port observation deck. He knocked before opening.
"Ah, Garrus. It's good to see you here! Now, what do you need?" Kasumi sat up straight on her couch, her hands clasped together in her lap.
"This may come at an odd request, but do you have any candles?" The turian glanced around the room, noting the bar and many different treasures. Kasumi certainly lived the most luxurious life on the ship.
"As a matter of fact I do." The thief stood up and walked to the far corner of the room. She opened a wooden crate and presented Garrus with two candles. "I retrieved this crate from some big-shot on the Citadel. I received a bunch of longswords from around the galaxy in the shipment. Not sure why these were in there, but I kept them knowing that someone could use them. Glad to see it's you." She smiled under her hood and handed the candles to Garrus. Then she returned to her seat.
"Thanks, Kasumi." Garrus said, turning heel.
"It's no problem." Kasumi replied. "And Garrus,"
"Yes?"
"Have fun with the Commander tonight."
...
Garrus returned to Garnder and retrieved the meal, muttering thanks to him before placing the meal in the battery and scurrying off down into the elevator. He jogged lightly to Joker on the combat information deck. "Joker, I need you to get Shepard out of her quarters."
Joker groaned. "What excuse am I supposed to have for this? And what are you willing to give me in return?"
"I have a catalogue from Palavan of the finest women my planet has to offer."
"As tantalizing the idea of seeing a bunch of scale-ridden, scary, naked turian women is, I'm gonna have to pass." Joker replied, shaking his head.
"I'll wire one hundred credits over to you."
"We have a deal."
...
Shepard was in her quarters cleaning her assault rifle, when Joker radioed her. "Hey, Commander. I need you down here now."
"What's going on down there?"
Joker hesitated. "Uh, I'm having trouble with EDI."
Shepard let out an exasperated sigh. "I'll be right down."
...
"Okay, EDI. When the Commander gets here, we need to pretend to have previously engaged in some bullshit fight. Just enough to keep her busy while Garrus sets up in her quarters.
"But Mr. Moreau, lying to the Commander isn't standard protocol."
"Cut it, EDI. Just work with me." Joker rolled his eyes. "Oh, hey there Commander."
Shepard entered the bridge. "So, what's happening down here?" She crossed her arms and looked back and forth between the two.
"EDI isn't listening to me."
Shepard looked unimpressed. "What else it new?"
"Mr. Moreau as usual is attempting to shut my systems down."
Shepard cocked an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh, really? Joker. Leave EDI alone. Anyway, she's probably the closest thing to a Valentine you'll get today."
"What?! Commander, she doesn't even have a body!" Joker groaned.
Shepard turned to walk out of the bridge, not willing to listen to another fight between Joker and EDI. Though, she couldn't keep herself from chuckling when she heard EDI say, "Happy Valentine's Day, Joker." as she left the bridge.
"Yeah, yeah. Happy Valentine's Day." Joker replied, dismissively.
...
Shepard yawned as she returned to her quarters, tiredly pressing the access button to her door. When she entered, she paused in shock. There was soft music playing, and the smell of freshly-cooked food. The wall flickered with yellow-orange light, something she hadn't seen in years. Candlelight. Ships always had emergency lighting systems, or synthetic light constantly. There was no need for candles.
The Commander smiled when she saw a small table made out in front of her bed, and her favorite turian sitting there in his casual clothes.
"Shepard." Garrus's voice was gentler than usual, his eyes seemed to be shining with affection. He stood up and pulled Shepard into a hug, gently combing her hair with his talons, careful to not scratch her. "I'm happy you came."
Shepard smiled to herself, nuzzling into his chest. "I'm happy you're here." She pulled back and smirked. "I assume you didn't do the cooking?"
"No. My skills in being a sexy, talented, badass turian have left little room for skills in domestic roles. Forgive me."
"I suppose that's reasonable. It is true after all." Shepard sat down at the edge of her bed and pulled the table to her. She began cutting the food. "You know, I'm impressed Vakarian. You convinced Gardner to use his best provisions." She continued eating, starved beyond belief. She hardly ever left time to sit down and enjoy a meal.
Garrus was absorbed in watching her eat, as strange as it was. Shepard had a certain delicate way of eating which was rare in military types. Most he'd seen in C-Sec and in Alliance always ate quickly with poor manners. Some even made the krogan look elegant. But Shepard was always polite when at the table.
Upon completing her dinner, Shepard sighed in pleasure. "Thanks, Vakarian."
"We're still not done." He held an arm out to her. "Join me?"
Shepard blinked. "Dancing? C'mon Garrus, we both know that I can't-"
The turian interrupted her by pulling her up and right into his embrace. "Dance?" He smirked and began to lead her to a slow sway. "You're with me Shepard. I already know you can't dance, you don't have to try to impress me."
Shepard rolled her eyes and then leaned her head against his chest. She remained silent for a moment. "Garrus, thank you."
Garrus smiled and gave her a little squeeze. "Happy Valentine's Day, Shepard."
"I love you, Garrus."
"I love you too, Shepard. More than you'll ever know."
Suddenly, EDI's voice cut in. "I'm glad you listened to my suggestion, Garrus. Your plans went well and did not result in any extra loss of life-"
"EDI." The pair barked in unison.
"Forgive the intrusion. Logging you out. And Happy Valentine's Day."
THE END.