She had decided she wouldn't stop doing anything to get him to prove her nothing had changed between them thatway.
She wasn't in a good mood to try many times and he wasn't showing any particular interest in wanting her that way, he just seemed to be okay with kissing and cuddling in bed. She wasn't sure why he always stopped whenever she reached his trousers and tried to open it, and that was basically the only thing he let her do. Sometimes it was also fault of people interrupting them or other banal excuses.
He dismissed any explanation with the excuse 'I have to do this, I have to do that' or 'I am tired because I had a very long day at work'. Blair felt tired of these excuses and bitter about it. If he didn't like her anymore or perhaps the reason behind rejection was another, she had the right to think it so she would put her paranoias a rest.
He had to stop giving her annoying reasons to making her doubt of herself.
Few days later, Chuck had remained in bed with her. This had surprised her since he had told her that he was probably going to spend some hours at the Empire to finish to arrange the new staff. She thought him staying was due to what she told him few nights before, the jealousy he felt she was feeling towards this new receptionist she didn't even know.
She felt his hand on her hip and slowly turned to face him. He was still asleep, but she thought he wasn't totally drowned in sleep land. She leaned closer and let his hand fall from her hip to her thigh. She put her hand on his shoulder to grip on him, and cut the small distance by giving him a kiss on the lips.
She just received a closed mouth the first time, but then he seemed to wake up and started kissing her back. He initially was slow but then his lips started moving fast as they searched hers and they tasted her tongue.
Blair felt about to moan because she was starting to need hair and she was being aroused by just a kiss. She grabbed his hair while kissing him and put her leg on his under the sheets as he put his hands behind her back and started to caress her uncontrollably. She felt him grabbing the bottom of her back at some point, as she was ruffling his hair with her fingers.
He panted at some point and leaned back for a second before going back to her lips and keep kissing her.
She felt that he was being too generous for an early morning, but he had been other times. Usually that was his best hour to sex her up. He was good even when he was half asleep.
She kept kissing him hard until the phone rang.
Chuck sighed in between their kisses and she saw him bit his lip before stopping and looking at her with annoyance, torn between answering or not.
"Let it ring" she suggested him and caressed his cheek before kissing him again.
He seemed to agree with her as he kept pleasuring her with his tongue in her mouth. They continued their kisses and panting until she finally reached the pants of his pajama.
She hissed something when the answering machine turned on.
Hi, this is Dr. Crane. I know you've been avoiding me, but I needed to let you know that you still need to come here to get your analysis. You've left them at my study the other day and I thought you may wanted them back. And on a side note... I still think you need to do therapy with me. I offered you my help and you refused it, and sorry to seem invasive or something, but I just care about your health, Mrs Bass. It's not a bad thing need to talk to someone that's not your family nor friends. You'll feel better about it. I hope you'll come to my study in the morning or you'll just call me. I'm suggesting this for you. You can also bring your family with you if you want them to help you, I'm sure your husband will be more than glad to be there for you as you've been there for him. Have a good day.
The answering machine emitted a beep sound and turned off.
Blair froze in his arms and looked down, trying to say anything or to find a good excuse.
Chuck sighed and his hand moved from her back to her hip. "What is she talking about?"
She sighed as well and murmured something. "I think I forgot my analysis at her study! That's why I couldn't find them" she made an awkward giggle.
"That is not the point. Are you okay?"
She bit her lip and finally looked up. "Of course I am okay, silly. She is surely reading Gossip Girl and is guessing we have marital problems" she rolled her eyes.
He frowned. "Was the check up good? Did she say something?"
"She just said I am okay and that everything is going fine. My analysis were really good."
He nodded. "How about your mood?"
She smiled. "Great, really great. Haven't I told you?"
"Yeah, you did." He said with not so much conviction and then started eying her with suspicion.
"What? You don't believe me?"
Blair made a face and tried to be believable. She didn't want to get caught. She didn't want Chuck to suspect of her meetings with Dr. Crane either. She knew she had to do something about her mood and how it was effecting her every day life, but she had to do it alone... perhaps.
She wondered what would he think about that. She was so scared to ask him questions about them and how he was feeling towards her during those weeks. The fact that he had rejected her seemed to speak loudly every day, and what it said wasn't what she hoped she would hear. She felt as if her marriage was really off the rails.
He sighed and tried to sit down. "You can talk to me" he murmured with a concerned face. "I am here for you, Blair. If there is anything wrong -"
"There's nothing wrong." She said with eyes half closed.
"Then what about today? What was the doctor referring to? Are your analysis bad?" he asked once again. This time his tone looked even more worried.
She brought a hand to her forehead. "My head aches. I should take a hot bath." She looked away and was about to get off the bed if it wasn't for his hand catching hers.
She didn't turn soon and when she did he was looking at her with a hard expression.
"Is it for the sex?"
She opened her mouth in disbelief. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh hell, I know. Do you think I haven't noticed all of your advances?"
She bit her lip. "Great job. I'm sure they'll give you a prize for the nice observation" she said as she tried to leave again, but without moving her feet too much.
She wanted to wait for his answer. It was obvious he had noticed her moves to stimulate him, but it was also evident to her how he had turned her down in the moment he had on the other hand put all of himself in a normal occasion.
He still looked serious. "You don't understand."
She shook her head. "And you're a liar. A big fat liar."
"About the sex? I don't think you know why I did it, Blair. I surely didn't want to stop your horniness. I love it. But we could have had some risks if we..."
"Those are lies." She tired to convince herself and definitely jumped off the bed.
"What now you think I made that up as an excuse?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Yes, you did!"
"Do you really think I don't want to have sex with you anymore?" he asked with a louder tone.
She bit her lip and looked away. "I think I'm getting late for my visit at Bendel's." She shrugged. "I'll leave you time to think, perhaps you can come up with better excuses" she said as she turned on her heels and walked away making a bitter laugh.
She soon got in the bathroom and closed both doors so that Chuck wouldn't enter if he wanted to. Then, as soon as she opened the water to prepare her bath, she started crying. She couldn't even look at herself in the mirror. She felt unloved and lied to.
Was it possible that he meant what he was saying, that he thought they could have risked if they had sex? Should she believe him?
She wasn't sure.
There were times she felt so diffident towards him and she couldn't control it. Since he had become her husband, he had treated her right. He had only lied to her once, the day before the wedding. She remembered the trick she did when she masked herself as a dancer at his bachelor party. He had known it was her since the beginning, yet he had waited to tell her.
Could it be that he was lying for her well being?
…
She eventually got ready and went out of the building. She didn't know where she would go, perhaps she would contact Serena and have another shopping session together. She could have lost other pounds, and she she could fit in a size 4 now. She hoped.
She got in the limo and asked Arthur to drive her to the Van der Woodsen's penthouse.
She then tried to distract herself with her phone. She looked through the pictures and soon scrolled down to some she had taken a while back.
There were some cute pictures of Alexandra of when she was born, her first bath and some pictures of her smiling from the recent weeks. There were pictures of her with Chuck too. In one she realized she had taken while they were in bed, still naked but covered by the sheets and Chuck was kissing her neck. She thought she looked drunk in that picture, but it felt somehow cute to see it. They looked so in love and so good together...
She scrolled to reach a picture she took before Alexandra was born. She had a nice sundress and they were at the Hamptons. Chuck had taken the picture while they were in front of the mirror, his hand on her belly and hers on his arm. It looked quite like the other one because she was kissing him on his cheek.
She sighed heavily and decided to read if Gossip Girl had posted something, before putting the phone back in her bag.
Apparently Serena wasn't at home. She had been spotted few minutes ago having breakfast with Dan at some Brooklyn bar. She rolled her eyes. She would talk to whoever was at the Van der Woodsens, she decided. She just wanted to escape from her house.
Once the car stopped and she went out of the vehicle, she noticed the place wasn't exactly what she expected.
She turned towards she driver that had opened the door for her, and saw Chuck approaching.
Her stomach became suddenly empty and she tightened the grip on her bag.
"What are you doing here?"
He smirked. "Accompanying you to your Doctor, it seems." He said as he offered his arm that she soon refused.
Blair snorted and walked towards the entrance. They both took the elevator and she found it so hard not to complain because of him being there.
When they got in the study of the doctor and she saw them, the woman looked pleased.
"I'm really happy to see you both here" she commented once they entered the room and sat down in front of her.
Blair rolled her eyes. "He took me here with deceit! I thought I was going to Serena's!"
The doctor looked quite amused.
"I had to. How is she going, Mrs Crane? She refused to tell me."
"What? It's not true! You didn't ask in the first place." Blair complained with annoyance.
Chuck spat back. "Because I thought you didn't want to talk about this."
"In fact I don't. Can you please give me my analysis back so we can go home, please?"
The doctor tried to stop them. She put her hands up in the air as to motion them to lower their voices. "I see there's tension between you two. Perhaps we can talk a bit about it?"
"I want to know how my wife is doing." Chuck demanded.
"And I want to go shopping right now. Fair share?"
"Not until we fixed this." He answered politely. "And I know how is your health going."
She snorted again.
The doctor called them to the silence again. "Wait a second. The answer is no for you, Mrs Bass. And yes for you, Mr Bass."
"Why not? You're racist!" Blair exclaimed with a surprised face.
Dr. Crane raised an eyebrow. "I think you're too upset. Did something happen in the morning?"
Blair looked down and bit her lip, then she looked briefly at Chuck. He was looking at her too, his severe look was unmistakable and tough.
He cleared his throat. "We almost had sex" he admitted shamelessly.
"Chuck!" she rebuked, her voice slightly lowered on the last letter.
The doctor looked amused. "Okay, enough. I think I should talk to you in private first. You have too much to say to each other but perhaps you want to confide alone first."
"I'll leave you the chair" Blair said as she stood up and reached the door. "You seem to have more to say than I do." She rolled her eyes and the doctor nodded.
The doctor prompted him to go on when Blair closed the door behind her.
"I don't know why she is bothering. It seems sex is the most important thing for her lately. She is always horny. Wouldn't this state end after she delivered?" he asked with curiosity.
Dr. Crane frowned. "It actually depends from woman to woman, but I don't think we should talk about this now. Didn't you want to know if your wife is suffering from a case of too much excitement. I believe she just wants you to acknowledge her."
"I have appreciated her ever since we started dating and prior."
"Probably you're not appreciating her now, I mean the way she'd love you to. She is being quite excited, you said. What is your answer to her excitement? Are you excited too?"
Chuck sighed and looked at his hands to gather his thoughts. "A night I came late at home and I found her in the bathtub. I was completely drenched and I was so tired I couldn't even hold myself together that when she actually came out of the water and offered me to bathe with her, I had to turn her down."
Dr. Crane nodded. "Is that so?"
"She tried to have sex other times. Several times. She tries to catch me in the morning because ahem, I guess I just can't control myself while I sleep and it's evident. She stimulates me and I respond to her kisses and attentions with vehemeence, but then I stop."
"What is stopping you?"
He shook his head, trying to think about a reason. "I don't know. I am carried by my feelings, usually. I am yield to her and if I am in the mood I never refuse her gestures."
"I see" the woman nodded. "But what if you're just scared?"
"Scared of what?"
"To hurt her. You don't want her to feel pain. The same pain she told me she felt the last time you two had sex because her body was still aching for the birth."
He looked surprised but truthfully he really wasn't. He knew that she had felt pain that time, but he never asked her really. He decided to go past that because she didn't seem to complain about it. He knew that he shouldn't have gone deeper, but he just couldn't stop.
"I know" he said, resigned.
The doctor sighed. "She just wants to feel loved now. I know you still think she is beautiful despite her body is not what it used to be ten months or so ago, but she is insecure about it. I'm not telling you to have sex every time at every hour, because there's the high risk that she may get pregnant again because her hormones are not yet stable. But give in sometimes... don't let your fear block you. If she feels ache, you'll just stop" she shrugged.
"Is she ready to have sex?"
"I haven't checked her yet since the other day, but I guess so. You should be careful on her. She has a fragile figure. Blair has a strong personality, but she is insecure about herself sometimes. I know you love her as she is, let her know this."
…
Chuck waited for a while until Blair was done with the doctor.
She looked at him when she exited the study, and he offered his arm. This time she didn't refuse, she actually looked a bit tired and not as angry as she was before. She didn't talk and he didn't ask, not until they got in the limo.
Blair sat next to the window and looked carelessly out.
He didn't want her to be that far so he got closer. Blair didn't make any move but she turned for a brief moment. Her eyes were glossy and he could swear she had cried while she was with the doctor. He put an arm on hers and stroked it gently. "How did things go?"
"Great. Everything is great" she hissed.
He knew that maybe wasn't the truth, but he decided not to ask for details yet. He nodded and cut the space between them. He kissed her hair and he could tell she looked down and closed her eyes for a second before going back on the window of her seat. He wondered if perhaps she was really silently crying.
He didn't know why now she looked sad. He wasn't sure he could ask her if she was alright, but would it be worse if he didn't?
The doctor had told him he shouldn't be afraid of loving her the way she was asking him to.
He didn't have to be too much cautious right now, if she wouldn't tell him she felt pain. He had to slowly go back to old patterns in his relationship with Blair, before the baby was born. Even if it seemed impossible to do since Alexandra was a priority.
They reached their building and he still wasn't sure of what to say until they went upstairs.
Blair kicked off her heels and lifelessly looked for something he didn't know before she headed to the nursery to see the baby. He followed her there. The baby was fully asleep. It looked like a lot of time had passed since their meeting with the doctor that Dorota had already given the bib to her and put her to sleep.
She smiled at the baby in the tiny bed, and then turned pensive again. She didn't even look at him when she acknowledged his presence there.
She got back in their bedroom and with the voice phone asked the maids to prepare lunch.
Chuck followed her moves around the room as she first put her slippers on and then checked herself in the mirror and removed her earrings and necklace. Then she walked to the bathroom and he waited until she came out to lunch together.
They didn't talk much at the table as Blair didn't look quite excited like before. He felt like he needed to say something but he wasn't sure what to say exactly. He felt guilty for taking her there against her will but he felt like it had to be done.
He had been in the dark about the whole situation or he had done the same thing she did. He had been in denial about it he had thought every thing was fine when it wasn't, distracted by his daddy routines and his job.
He had been blind about how she was feeling because he had also let her deal with her fear alone. Perhaps now he wondered it had been a bad idea.
Blair left the table earlier after eating only a dish of different vegetables he knew he had in her post-pregnancy diet. He didn't follow her soon because he still needed to finish his dish. When he finally left the table too, he went upstairs to check on the baby first.
Alexandra was awake and Blair was playing with her. When she noticed he was there, her happy tones disappeared a bit.
He sighed and went where she could see him in the face. "I'm sorry if I dragged you there without telling you" he said with softness. "You perhaps didn't want to see the doctor."
She made a weak smile and looked back at the baby.
"Next time I should ask you first. I don't want us to argue because of things left unsaid."
She nodded. "It's okay, Chuck. I needed to see her. I had been fooling myself for too long and I didn't want to face the truth."
He nodded. "I shouldn't have been that harsh. I shouldn't had revealed private details of hour marriage life." He said referring to the fact that he had told the doctor they almost had sex that morning. He knew Blair had been disturbed by that affirmation.
"It's fine." She murmured and tickled the baby before putting her in her crib.
He nodded again. He hoped she was really fine about it. "Are you?"
Blair stood up and walked to their room and sat down on her bed before answering. She looked up, then. Her eyes were red. She shook her head a bit and he brought a hand on her cheek to caress her as a tear fell from her eye. "I feel so tired..."
"Yeah, I know." He simply said and he knew it wasn't enough.
He felt she was wore out even more than the previous week while he had been buried in his work again after a long time. Worst choice ever. He felt he hadn't seen the real problem there. Yes, she had had troubles in trusting herself with her baby but eventually she had slowly started doing it again. What he hadn't thought of was if she needed support or not. He had simply helped her every once in a while like he always did, but ignored that the problem hadn't been solved yet and it was even bigger than it seemed.
"Don't go around throwing random words. Tell me the truth, Chuck." she asked with her voice broke by the tears.
His face hardened. He put both hands on her cheeks and tried to dry her tears.
"I promise you, whatever happens I'm not going to give up to this family." he said. "I'm not going to give up on you and the baby. I know I have been very absent recently but I wrongly thought leaving you alone with Lexie would have helped you regaining the trust in yourself with her when the real problem was me."
He lowered down and kissed her lips quickly. "I'm sorry I was scared."
She shook her head, confused by his words.
He looked down for a moment. "I know how it hurt that time, one month ago. I know how hurt you were afterwards, but in the moment we were doing it I didn't fully realize it."
"It didn't hurt that much" she looked at her hands. "It was just... sad. We finally made up and then you had to leave again. I never minded your dedication to your job, but I think sometimes it's too much. That hurt. Not the intercourse itself. And I eventually forgave you" she added when he was about to answer her. "because I was sure you wouldn't do it again, and you didn't. But then you started rejecting me and it made me feel like you didn't want me anymore, like I wasn't that appealing because I am not what I used to be."
He shook his head and managed a sweet smile. "There's nothing wrong with how you are now. You are still the same Blair to me, whether you fit in a 4 or in a 6. Your body changing would not change my mind about you. I thought this was clear" he cupped her cheeks with his hands again and knelt down. "I'll never stop wanting you, Blair. I am sorry if it appeared to you that I was done, but I was too sheepish to confess you I feared you would get hurt again."
She tired to smile and he smiled back. He wasn't sure he had reassured her but he hoped so. If there was one thing sure in his life, that were Blair and Alexandra. He had never planned of leaving them, he was just worried that the situation wouldn't fix soon.
He silently promised himself to try and be more attentive. He had to be more supportive. She needed him to be more supportive. He also also try and go past his fears too.
He dropped his hands on her back when she reached his face and put her hands on his neck to kiss his lips. She started slowly and she didn't want to hurry. Chuck kept her pace well and he as well figured it was better if they took it slow at the beginning.
She started removing the jacket of his suit while he tried to stimulate her on the nape of her neck. She had combed her hair in a bun after she had got back home, and her skin there was exposed. He had sighed at the sight of it, the nape of the neck was his kryptonite and it was so amusing for him to trail kisses on that particular erogenous zone.
Blair was fast to unbutton his shirt and he shook his head when he noticed he was getting naked before her.
"Not nice" he commented and then unzipped the dress she was wearing. She reveled a black and gold lace corsage paired with a finely manufactured lace thong, and black stockings.
They kept undressing each other until they reached the bathroom. She opened the water of the whirlpool bath, that they used few times since they've lived there. Blair put some oils and bubble bath before he could get rid of her corsage.
She didn't wait him to make the next move, that she pushed herself on him. She circled his neck with her arms and started kissing his lips again, this time vehemently.
He felt her nipples on his on his bare chest. They were so hard and probably aroused as they kept kissing with passion. He raised her up on the border of the jacuzzi and removed her stockings carefully. He looked up once he finished, and she was biting her lip. It was instinctive for him to lick his lips. From that place, she looked even more amazing and angelic.
She still looked insecure, though. Her arms went on her chest and tried to shield her body from his vision. She looked like a girl who was about to lose her virginity and was scared. Somehow the thought of it made him feel lighter, he felt absolutely proud that she had chosen him a lot of years ago, to lose it with. And every time she had given herself to him, and the time she had gotten pregnant because of it... it felt wonderful.
He noticed that and he tried to comfort her. He stood up from the floor and gently took one hand in his, and then the other. He entwined their hands together and then pushed his body on hers to close the distances.
He kissed her with sweetness, made it all slow and gentle as she tightened her grip on his hands. He calmly trailed kisses on her cheek, neck, until he finally reached her chest. He could see and appreciate her perfect breasts, still big enough because she was still breastfeeding. He kissed both gently and moved his mouth on them as if he wanted to eat them.
Blair felt the goosebumps as he did so, and she automatically shrugged and pushed her head back. She dropped one of his hands on her leg and grabbed his thick hair. She twisted her hand in them as he kept stimulating her nipples with his lips and tongue.
He arrived on her belly with his trail of kisses. He placed a soft kiss on her belly button and she moaned. She wasn't sure but that was probably one of the places where she felt more excitement when they had sex.
Chuck's hand moved on her back continuously when he went back on her lips. At some point he recoiled back and after giving her one long and lustful glance, he helped her out of her thong and threw it not so far.
She was completely naked now, but he wasn't yet. She decided to help herself with the fingers of her feet to remove his boxers, but seeing she wasn't making it he helped her off the border of the jacuzzi. She put her hands on his hips and caressed his butt cheeks while she tried to get rid of the underwear. Once they almost fell off his legs, he got easily rid of those and she threw herself on him on purpose so that their intimacies would almost touch.
He raised his index, and ordered her to stop. "We need protection" he looked away trying to think where he had put the condoms. He remembered they were in the drawer of the bathroom, luckily. Blair helped him with that and then he raised her up and took her in his hands before entering the jacuzzi.
Blair was suddenly drenched in hot bubbled water as well as him. She sat on his legs at first but then she made room for her body in between there. She started kissing him, not caring that the bubbles were on his face because she had those on her hands.
With a simple gesture Chuck switched their places that she didn't even realize it, and he let her sit properly in the tub. He smirked at her before wandering his hands under the water, on her whole body with no exception. Finally he stopped on her hips and helped by the water he thrust gently into her, receiving her moans back as a response. He kissed her deeply while he came in and out of her, while she as usual gripped on his hair and messed them up.
They went on for what it felt like eternity, until the bubbles started to vanish. He had turned on the hydro massage option so that they would relax.
She was lying in between his legs, her head on his chest and his hand around her stomach held on her hip. Her hand was hidden in the water and grasped securely on his thigh. He was playing with her hair as she kept smiling like an idiot and drank champagne from a glass.
"That was really relaxing if you ask me" she said with a sugary tone.
He kissed her half wet hair. "It was indeed. I suggest we do this at least once a week."
She giggled. "I'd say that is a great idea, but perhaps we could also try other furniture too? I'm sure the wooden table of the party room would be perfect for a night of enjoyment."
"Definitely." He agreed with a smirk. His smile diminished as he wanted to ask her something. He knew he would ruin the moment, but he wanted to try and hope she would give him a sincere answer. "Look, Blair... I know that is probably out of place, but -"
She beat him to it. "I'm fine. Completely fine if you ask me. This was the best sex I have had in ages, and I'm not lying. It was perfect, really." She turned her head to look him in his worried eyes.
His smile was back again. He kissed her forehead before answering. "Now what do you say we check on Lexie? Dorota must be gone by now and the baby is alone."
She pouted but then she reluctantly took a towel and put it around her and went out of the tub. He did the same and they exited the bathroom together hand in hand. She knew Alexandra had to be supervised, and even if she wasn't pleased of interrupting her sex time, she needed to. It was their daughter and needed all the attention.
Blair reached the crib where Alexandra was awake.
"Is so weird she is not crying. Are you starting to behave, are you?" she asked with a childish voice and touched the nose of the baby and she started crying soon. "Guess I was wrong."
He smiled. "I think it's time for dinner. She is hungry and she didn't want to disturb mommy and daddy doing it in the jacuzzi until now."
Blair rolled her eyes with an amused grin, and picked the baby up. She lowered her towel and latched the baby to her breast and she soon stopped crying. Chuck watched the scene with the usual diverted smirk. Those two were his girls and no one could take them away. He would not let anyone hurt them.
Mother and daughter looked so beautiful together that he couldn't help and take a picture and protect it with a password.
"What did you just do!" Blair complained.
He laughed. "Just took you both a picture that Lexie will see once she's of age."
"Delete it, Bass. Like RIGHT now." She glared at him.
"Too late, already password protected it so that you can't delete it." He looked pleased.
Blair snorted and then seeing as the baby finished to sip the milk from her left breast, she calmly put her back in the crib and promised her to come back as soon as she would delete that picture. She started running after Chuck in their bedroom until they both crashed on their bed, and her towel feel to the floor in the corridor between the two rooms, as well as his because she had tried to stop him by gripping on it.
They had finished by doing it all over again on the bed.
…
Hey all, I have got no internet on my laptop so I tried if it worked if I uploaded it via blackberry... not much about to say on this CH, hope it cleared some worries and gave you a bit of solace because Chuck and Blair needed to have sex again after a long time! Lol.
Comments are love :)