"You remember the story I told you few years ago, so I won't bother to repeat it" the woman said. "I will add what I didn't tell you before."
Elizabeth's eyes were set on him. His disappointment and expectations for the meeting were evident. He wouldn't give the woman a slight sight of trust. He needed to see that she was true to the words she was going to tell them. If she would be, he would perhaps change his hard features.
Waiting wasn't his strong suit. He had barely been patient in his whole life, let alone when he was trapped in moments as this. He felt as if he had a heavy weight on his heart and that he needed to know the truth to set it free.
Blair was pretty much positive about the outcome of the meeting, on the other hand.
She could feel this time the woman looked like she wanted to spill her secrets, secrets that she may had kept hidden few years earlier because he wasn't ready to hear them yet.
She was sure that every thing would go well. If it wouldn't, she would be ready to help Chuck feeling better about it. He would not shut her out this time. He was matured and more conscious about himself and his family.
A woman would not make their family fall apart.
"Are we sure you are not going to lie?" Chuck asked her. He was cautious.
Elizabeth smiled. "Listen to my story and then you'll judge" she said with what it looked fake sarcasm to him. He still didn't trust her. "You know that I have been with your father over twenty years ago. I was young and I didn't know what I wanted from life."
"I remember I met Bart while I was out with a friend. I didn't like him very much, but somehow I felt attracted to him. My friend wanted to go out with him so badly because he was wealthy, while I didn't care about money. I just wanted someone to love."
Chuck tried so hard not to roll his eyes and Blair saw him trying to keep his expression still. She wished he wouldn't be so diffident.
"In the end I gave up and started dating Bart, hoping that I would grow to like him more, which it never happened. I think it was mostly the opposite. He seemed to like me too much, he wanted to settle down with me and I was just a free spirit to be tied to a man forever..." she sighed, looking away for a moment. "Then I got what I really wanted."
"Did you fall for Bart?" Blair asked casually, but Elizabeth shook her head.
"I've felt just a little attracted to him. I... fell for another man while I was with him" she admitted and her eyes wandered elsewhere. She seemed sad to think about those memories. "I wasn't able to let go of Bart after that."
Chuck frowned, rather annoyed. He wanted her to get direct to the point of the story.
The woman continued. "I soon found out that I was expecting a baby. I wasn't sure who the father was between the two, so I did a test in secret without telling Bart. He eventually found out and dreaded that I had taken one in the first place."
"He acted weird, hired a P.I. to find out who was the other man I had slept with while I was with him, but couldn't find out who it really was until I confessed it to him so that I could finally let him go."
His expression hardened. It was sad to hear that the only woman besides Lily that his father had loved, seemed to dig him for another man. He knew that feeling. It was awful. He felt sorry for his father in that moment.
She struggled to find the words. "The other man offered to marry me and runaway together and keep the baby with us, but Bart beat him to it. A night, when I was about four months pregnant, he proposed to me and I said no. I didn't want that to be my future. A husband and a child before being in my twenties? That was something I would never write on my to do list. Perhaps, I would write that on things to do after my thirties."
"How did you leave Bart?" Chuck asked with curiosity.
Elizabeth seemed pleased that he had talked politely. "I told him the truth. I said that baby was a mistake and that I didn't want him. I wasn't fit to play the mother. It wasn't what I really expected from life. I also confessed him who was my lover... he didn't take it too well. I think that was the straw that broke the camel's back."
"He said that if so, I had to go out of his life and since I didn't want the baby, he would keep him. He also promised to give me money to disappear but you already know that."
"Why did you come back? You said you weren't my mother and I trusted you. I was glad – I was glad that you weren't related to me at all. I may be a tough person but I wouldn't hurt my daughter like that ever. Perhaps you never loved me as much if it was so easy to hurt me."
Chuck's words were sharp. He couldn't keep his rough tone from expressing. That woman had hurt him in the past by doing what she did to him with Jack, and she hurt his father too for that matter. She deserved every single mean word he could think of.
She sighed and tried to look at him even if it was hard. Truth was about to be out, she felt that she had to say it for once and for all. "I know that I couldn't take back what I had done five years ago."
"Why didn't you try to fix the mistake? I needed my mother!" He said loudly and almost jumped from his seat. "I was right calling you a coward."
"Yes, you are" she admitted shamelessly. "I know I am a coward for not facing my responsibilities when I had to. I had to stay an help you against your uncle to take your hotel back. I don't love myself for that act. I was clouded by my love for Jack. I felt as if what we had rebuilt was being destroyed once again by a relative. It saddened me."
Chuck frowned and massaged his temples. "Destroyed once again? What do you mean by that? Was Jack your lover?"
"That was the reason why Bart was so hard on both before I left for Australia with his younger brother. He couldn't stand us. We had betrayed him and it felt right to pay for our mistakes away from New York" she explained.
"At least my father didn't lie about that" he said sarcastically with an edge of bitterness.
Elizabeth got serious. "Your father has loved you since your first hour in the world. Of this I can assure you. Before I left Manhattan, he said that I broke his heart but at least he could keep something that reminded him of me while I was away, despite he never promised that he would be a lovable father. He wasn't sure he could completely love somebody who resembled so much someone he now hated."
Chuck shrugged. "He told me that I reminded him of you and that's why he couldn't bear looking at me. I knew there was more than that."
"I know that even if I wouldn't have fallen for his brother, we couldn't have been together."
He didn't know what to say anymore. The entire truth was out.
Elizabeth was his real mother and had had an affair with his uncle Jack but he gladly wasn't his son. He instantly pitied Bart. He had been hurt too.
"What about now? Would you like to drink something?"
The woman smiled, surprised by the question. "I would love to" she answered.
….
It felt almost unreal that things were fixed now. He had found his real mother again. It had seemed impossible for him to have a living parent other than Jack. Fate wanted it to be his supposed dead mother but he didn't care much for the moment.
The only thing he would try to care about, was the trust he was going to put into this woman. He wasn't sure she had been completely honest with him. He knew he had to open up and not being diffident, but it wasn't an easy task to accomplish after all that had happened.
He would try to be on defensive but he would also try to give what he could so that this new relationship could work.
"I'm glad it all worked out" Blair said few hours later at home.
He was randomly watching outside of the bedroom window. "Yeah" he answered, quite lost in his thoughts. She noticed it.
"Aren't you happy? You've finally found the truth about your mother. You are finally sure."
He shook his head lightly. "I'm not quite sure, if I have to tell you the truth."
She frowned. "Chuck, she told you everything. What happened with your father and why she didn't want to be with him and how she left him. Isn't that enough proof?"
He sighed and looked down at his hands. He wasn't sure of anything. Despite the explanations Elizabeth gave him, he felt as if there was still some piece missing.
Not that he didn't fully believe her – he believed her. He just thought there was part of the story she hadn't told him and was waiting to earn his trust to tell him.
"Words are words. As much as the story seems real, nothing proves that it is. Anyone can easily create a story and pass it as true" he explained.
Blair snorted and reached him on the armchair next to the couch he was sitting on. "Why don't you believe her?"
"What she said, seemed so predictable. Wasn't it? She already told me she abandoned me to Bart and left because she didn't want to be my mother. She also told me she loved Jack and I had the confirmation that she betrayed my father with him at that time. What's new? She didn't even confirm she is my mother."
"I think you need to stop being so diffident" she suggested as she put her hand on his. "I know that is hard for you, after all these years you've believed she was just a poser. But now you actually have the chance to reestablish a new connection with her."
He seemed quite unmoved. "There has never been a connection between me and that woman. Even before she did what did, she knew nothing about me."
Blair laughed and he flashed a quick, bitter glance at her. "It's not unnatural. She didn't know you before. It was the first time she met you. If you would give her time, perhaps something could grow between the two of you."
She wanted to tell him how much he was being pessimist and with no hope in others, but she refrained. She knew it was normal for him to think it like that. Elizabeth had disappeared for years after their first meeting and hadn't tried to contact them ever to fix her mistake and confide Chuck that he was her son.
He wasn't wrong being on defensive. He didn't want to be burnt. She thanked that woman had confirmed she was his mother, or else she wasn't sure of how he would have reacted.
Chuck had been too long without parental figures. She knew Lily was who he considered a sort of a mother and Jack was his only uncle. He had been helped by his stepmother more than his real father had helped him before he died.
She knew it was hard for him. He had grown up alone and had been his own guide. Theirs was his first and only family besides the Van der Woodsens.
"I don't think it will" he answered her coldly after a long silence.
"Chuck. I beg you. I know that you don't know her, but try to trust her. If you don't trust her, you can never come to believe her."
He shoot her a glance. "Thank you for the advice, but I think I know how to handle this."
"I know you do. I just wish you would not shut me out this time." She said sheepishly. "I don't want you to carry this burden alone and don't let me help you the way I can. We are together, we will be together. We need to be close now."
He frowned and his expression sweetened. "I learned my lesson a while ago. You are my family now."
She smiled. "We'll go through this together."
…
After she and Chuck had met her at her hotel, he had tried to contact her earlier, but couldn't find her. It seemed as if her phone was always shut down and she didn't take calls at the place she was staying. It sounded strange. The only time she picked up her phone, she had been cold.
He started to think about the possible reasons. The reasons could be multiple, and the worst ones weren't missed on the list of possibilities.
Maybe she had to do other things while in New York and couldn't meet him, or maybe she just wanted to take time to figure things out before they would try to have a sort of relationship.
Thanks to Blair anyway, he had come to believe that woman was really his mother after what she had told him. It was impossible that she wouldn't be. She had had a baby from Bart, hadn't she? He kept repeating to himself that he needed to trust her.
Could she possible come to tell him new informations about his past? He thought it was likely. After all, they didn't really finish to talk the last time.
So when Elizabeth came in the afternoon of a casual Friday, he tried to do his best to welcome her in his penthouse and tried to be less suspicious of her.
"Elizabeth" he greeted her. "I've been trying to connect with you for three days but your phone was dead. Did something happen?"
She smiled and held her bag tightly in her hands while Chuck showed her the way to the living room. "That's why I came here. I need to tell you something before I leave."
"You're already leaving?" he frowned.
The woman smiled again and looked a bit sad. "Believe me, you won't want me here after I'll tell you why I came for one last time" she said with a resigned voice.
He looked quite confused. "Is it me or is it my family? They can wait to know you."
"It's nothing like that, Charles" she said as she shook her head.
He opened his arms with wonder. "Then what it is? You've ignored my calls from both your phone and the phone of the reception. You wouldn't want to meet me to have lunch together, you refused to do anything with me when I asked you. If you needed time, I would have waited."
She bit her lip and looked down at first. "I haven't ignored your calls because I needed time. I have, by any chance, ignored your calls because I didn't feel like picking up."
"That is not a valid reason."
"You don't understand" she said as she glance at him. She seemed cold when their eyes met, it scared him.
He emitted a bitter giggle. "Then explain. Why would you do that? Didn't you want to reconcile with me all along through these last five years?"
She sighed and her expression hardened. "It is true that I've wanted to reconcile with you, but not in the way you would like. I... never finished narrating my story. There's one last thing that I have to tell you before I leave."
"Not in the way I would like?" he asked, startled.
"Look, Chuck. I've already told you about me and your father and how it ended, but I've never told you what happened in between. Correct?" she questioned, and he nodded his head slightly. "I really got pregnant of Bart when I was in my twenties. You can send someone to check. But what happened to that baby... I still can't get over it."
"Wasn't I – that baby?"
"There were complications" she started to explain "when I got into the fifth month of my pregnancy. Your father didn't pressure me to put an end to the life inside of me, nor he asked me to marry him again. But I was terribly stressed that I ended up losing that baby anyway."
He shook his head, clearly skeptic. "This doesn't make sense. You said you didn't love my father, yet you got pregnant with him a second time?" he wondered, hoping he wasn't pushing his hope too far. He needed an answer.
"There never was a second time" she said with a quiet voice. "I left the country with Jack after I lost the baby. I didn't want to be in New York anymore... it hurt me. And Bart didn't want to see me ever again after all that I had done. I needed to runaway from here, I wanted to explore the world now that I was finally free."
He opened his mouth in disbelief, trying to hold himself together. "Then why did you come here and said you were my mother if you aren't" he murmured, more to himself than to her.
"I don't know" she shrugged. "I just felt guilty for what I did to you few years ago that I needed to come to tell you how sorry I was. But then you asked me the whole story, and I told you that. I didn't reveal you the last bits because I planned to spill them very soon after I would have fixed few things I left in town. But then you kept calling and calling -"
"I can't say I wasn't diffident, but I thought you were my mother." He cut her off.
Elizabeth seemed moved. "I know, and I'm really sorry for making you believe I was. But I never explicitly told you I gave birth to you."
"You made me believe you did. You had to tell me you lost Bart's child before you left forever. You had to tell me your true reasons when we met the first time."
She nodded. "I understand why are you mad at me now. But I couldn't leave. My passport was out of date and I needed to wait few weeks to have it back."
He started getting upset. He couldn't believe it. "I'm so glad you are not my mother" he said, fuming. "My mother would never give me false hopes. She would never delude me that she came to see me and only me because she wanted to see her son."
"I would have left two days after we've met each other" she explained.
"Then why didn't you leave?"
She shrugged and managed a weak smile. "I couldn't leave without telling you this. If I had left, you would think I was your mother and would come looking for me again. I didn't want you to do that, because I am not your mother Charles. I didn't want you to spend time looking for something I couldn't give you."
"Which I eventually did" he made a wry giggle. "You have no idea how I've spent these last three weeks. I was lost in my thoughts for hours trying to figure out why you would be back in my life when you were the one that had decided to exit it. I was stressed too much that I have dedicated myself to my job like I never did. I was struggling between meeting you again and letting you go your way. And you know what I've realized? I lost my time. Because not only you are not related to me at all, you are person I would never aspire to be."
"You are right hating me. But you need to know one last thing before I go out of your life forever. For the few weeks I dated your father, I felt blessed. Until it fell apart and I got pregnant, I couldn't deny that he was a caring man every woman in this world would want to be with. Even after I stopped feeling a little love for him, I kept appreciating the way he behaved with me."
"I can't believe why my father would love a person like you."
She smiled. "I don't blame you. He was stubborn, he always got what he wanted. I know that I wasn't a whim for Bart. I'm sorry I never developed deeper feelings for him. Maybe, love could have changed me." She giggled then sighed. "I will leave tomorrow. I promise if I ever come back to New York, you will never cross paths with me. Have a good life."
She eyed him one last time before she reached the elevator and got in. Chuck was sure as hell that he would never meet her again.
He had expected things would turn out this way since the beginning of this story. He couldn't believe why that woman would be back in town after years she had told him she wasn't his mother. There had to be a twist in that story.
He felt so fooled. He had really started believing she was his mother.
For all he knew, his real mother was dead and gone. She had probably been a better woman than Elizabeth would ever be, but he could not judge a book by its cover. That woman had probably had her reasons. At least now the thing was cleared, but it left some coldness in his heart that it would take a while to warm up.
….
He sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands, desperately trying not to break down. He felt more betrayed than he had been the first time, but something made him think that he would not spiral like several years before.
He did not send a text to Blair nor called her, but she came back home earlier than usual that afternoon. She found him there and alone and she got suddenly worried.
He came to greet her as if he was a zombie. He had unlit some lights in the room hoping she would not notice his puffy and broken face when she would talk to him. She has spent few hours at the Palace hotel to run some errands.
She didn't want to leave him at first, but then he suggested her to go. She had a job and had to look after it. She had clients from Asia and couldn't miss them arriving at the hotel. He had promised he would look after the baby and would keep doing his job from home and try to contact that woman. If only she had known...
"What happened?"
He wasn't able to answer at first. Something was blocking his throat. "Elizabeth – she came here a while ago."
"Really? Finally she showed her face again. You arranged to meet somewhere? I thought you wanted to have dinner with her and let her meet Lexie." She asked casually, hoping he was just down because of something else.
"There'll be no dinner and meeting" he answered coldly.
Blair was surprised. This worried even more and she thought something had happened. He looked really strange. "She already left? That's so rude."
"She is lost, Blair. Lost."
She frowned. "What do you mean? Did she tell you something else?"
He looked down for a brief moment then he raised his head and what she could see was desolation. His eyes looked empty and disappointed. "I thought that something like that would happen. I saved myself a lot of pain by thinking the worst."
"You did not. I know you believed till the last time. I'm sure of it. That woman is a monster for doing this to you again."
"Oh she is. But at least now I know the truth. The truth set me free." He said giving her a side glance with a zombie face.
She got sad instantly. "Are you okay?"
"I feel relieved" he said, managing a little smile. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go to refresh. I don't want to eat anything tonight. I need to finish something. Can you forgive me if I don't eat with you?"
She nodded and gave him a grin. "Of course."
"I'll see you in bed later." He said before he would allow her to look at his face closely. He walked away and climbed the stairs, disappearing soon from her sight.
She had noticed his face. His eyes were red and she knew they weren't because of the spring allergies. She knew he had probably cried while he was alone at home, and she couldn't blame his sadness.
She had thought everything would be soon on place. He would have a real mother to look up to and to create a late bond. Her daughter would have another grandmother and she would have a second mother-in-law. Compared, what Elizabeth would become to her if she was Chuck's real mother, was meaningless to what she would be to the rest of her family.
She had really hoped that she would be that long lost parent Chuck needed, but probably it was better that his real mother had died. At least she probably died to save her son. Perhaps Chuck's real mother was the opposite of what that Elizabeth seems to be. She thought that even Bart seemed a better man than that concubine of his.
….
Blair decided to go looking for Chuck after a hour or so. She had wanted to give him time to stomach the recent news. She had waited to go to him and had kept herself busy with their baby who needed to be put to bed.
It had been hard for him to understand that woman had left out part of the story when they first met because she thought it would be too hard to take for him, and she was right.
After she had got home, he had gone upstairs. She couldn't look him in the eyes better since he kept his head down as he rushed to one of the rooms of the first floor after their brief talk, but she could tell that he was about to break down.
He hadn't broken down in front of her in a while, and that scared her. He was a man and didn't quite love to be moved to tears. But he knew how to cry like any other human on Earth, and he only did it rarely when he couldn't put his facade on anymore.
She remembered that the last time he had cried was when she risked to lose their baby. After the worst had passed and he was allowed to see them, he seemed both happy and scared at the same time that she couldn't recognize him when he freed his soul. That side of him was precious. Not that she wanted him to cry more, she just wished he would open up in a similar way to her.
He was dedicated to her and Alexandra but he still kept some walls to protect him and sometimes this made her sad. She knew it when she decided to be his girlfriend years before, that it would be really hard to have him more open, but nothing was lost. She would wait.
She went upstairs and she was conscious of where she was going. She knew where he was hiding. There was a room, at the end of the long corridor. That room was made for hosts, but Chuck had randomly slept in it few months before when they argued because of his job. She thought he loved that room because it was purple and relaxing.
She carefully removed her shoes before she got in.
The room was dark besides the slight flashes of light that lightened few areas. She could see the couch and the closet next to it, the small table with flowers and the armchair right next to the window. The part that remained half illuminated was the big bed on the other side of the room. She knew he was there when she turned her head and could see his figure.
She walked slowly to the empty side of the bed and fixed next to him. Chuck was on his side, his body turned towards the wall where some pictures were hanging. He wasn't moving but she knew that he wasn't sleeping.
She moved closer to him until their bodies touched. Her hand searched for his and she found it soon, he seemed as if he was holding his stomach. She entwined her fingers with his but initially she didn't get any response, then he interlaced them and held them tight.
She wasn't sure if she had to say something, anything at all. She thought that any word would not mean anything. Things went in a way she couldn't have really predicted. She was sure that Elizabeth was his mother and she was actually surprised when she said the opposite after she had seemed to prove her identity.
Blair stayed silent until he spoke. "I'm sorry" he said with a cracked voice. It seemed rough and fatigued.
She couldn't understand why he was saying that. "You don't have to be. I should."
He seemed to giggle but a weird sound came out of his mouth. He let some more minutes pass, then he continued with what he wanted to say. "I really hoped" he murmured.
"I know" she echoed.
"I thought that this time I could have a parent to look up to, someone who was blood of my blood that could – ahem, give me advice. I hate -" he trailed off and she heard a deep sigh then a hiccup, "I hate myself for deluding my expectations and yours."
She freed her hand from his and caressed his cheek gently. She didn't dare to go under his eye at first, she knew she would find his eyes wet. But she felt as if she had to. He had to know she was there to help him go through this. She tried to dry his tears as he continued.
"I will never leave you" he said quickly, probably fearing his voice would crack. "I won't act like that woman did."
She smiled and kissed the back of his neck. "I won't let you leaving us" she laughed with a low voice. "And if you break your promise, you will have to give me billions of alimonies. I don't think you want that, do you?" She giggled again.
He giggled as well and turned to her after few seconds. She thought he was sure she would not see his face, but she could distinguish it in the dark very well. He looked a mess. The slim light of the bedroom enlightened half of his face and she could see his glossy eyes. It made her sad but at the same time it made her happy that he was opening up.
He kept staring at her until she leaned closer and gave him a quick kiss, then he started crying silently. She could see him trying to keep his features still, but he couldn't succeed. She saw a tear break on his cheek and she instantly pulled him towards her in a hug, he put his head on her chest and started crying more loudly than he was doing before.
She tried to calm him down and support him as he poured his soul to her, until he fell asleep in her arms like a little child. It felt relaxing to her. She was glad that she could soothe him.
It didn't matter Elizabeth wasn't his mother. She knew that he had a family and that family loved him more than that woman could ever do if she was who they thought she would be.
She and the baby would never leave him.
….
Heya, what did you think of this chapter? I was very torn about Chuck's "mother" at first. I didentro know whether to have her be his mother or not. I opted for the second option because it seemed more fun to write. I hope it did not disappoint!
Comments are loved :)