A/N: Thanks for reading guys. Surplus sex scenes, just like I promised. Also some awesome plot stuff happens as well. I hope you enjoy, let me know what ya think. Thanks to all the people who reviewed last chapter. I know it's the afternoon; I was too tired to post the chapter this morning. Enjoy it though!
Loki was still cursing Sigyn in her mind. That was definitely something she hadn't thought through and now she felt like an idiot. She wasn't sure why she even put faith in someone else to do something for her, everyone was so incompetent. She made a point to emphasize that in the back of her mind the next time she even considered such a stupid move. She shook her head and abandoned her deep thoughts when she saw her mother sit across from her.
Frigga looked miserable, this was deeply understandable. Over the course of a week she had lost her son, potentially lost her husband and now she might lose Loki. For some odd reason Loki was sure that her mother wouldn't steer her wrong. Frigga had been gone for most of her childhood but when she was around at least she made Loki feel good. But she did think back for a moment, that was as a child… when she grew into an adolescent it seemed Frigga became more and more distant. Loki couldn't decide whether Frigga truly loved her or not.
"Loki, I love you. Odin and I didn't tell you because we wanted you to be happy in your youth. We knew if you knew the truth you would be sad and I couldn't bear the thought of you feeling that way as a child…" Frigga started. Loki tilted her head and squinted her eyes. What the hell? She was clearly a miserable child anyways, she was miserable now. She hated her life, she hated herself. But Loki stayed silent and allowed Frigga to speak.
"Years ago, before you were born there was a patient. She was in and out of the hospital very often- a crystal meth and crack cocaine addict. There came a time where she was in the hospital and it seemed she was there to stay. We heavily monitored her because of her habits but, then we found out the reason she was there that time was because she was pregnant. In the middle of her second trimester-Fárbauti, that was her name… Took the initiative to leave again, she couldn't stand being sober it seemed. At the time we didn't take it very seriously. At the end of her seventh month of pregnancy she returned, drugs in her system. We had to keep her in the hospital to ensure the safety of the life inside of her. But Fárbauti was very violent due to her addictions; we were at the end of our rope. Then, Fárbauti give birth a few weeks before she was actually due." Frigga sighed before pausing. Loki was still squinting as the older woman spoke. What did this crackhead have to do with her? Unless- Loki's thoughts were disrupted when Frigga began to speak again.
"She was a beautiful little girl, but she was so small and all she did was cry. We ran tests on her, we had to make sure she wasn't addicted as well. Thankfully she wasn't but she was definitely troubled even in her few weeks of living. I saw to it that she grew and gained weight so that she and Fárbauti could go home…"
A young Frigga had been standing in front of the nursery, her eyes on one baby in particular. She was smaller than the others, her haired raven black and when her eyes did open- they were a vivid shade of green. Frigga sighed as she stared at the little one. Her colleague jogged over to her with a chart. Frigga quickly inspected it as she placed her glasses back on her face.
"She doesn't even have a name yet." The other doctor muttered. Frigga glanced up at the small baby once more.
"She's almost ready to be leave; all she has to do is gain another pound." Frigga muttered. "I always figured if I had a daughter- I'd name her Loki. It's just a nice name to me." She added. Frigga squinted at the chart for a moment.
"The father is a man called Laufey McLaufeson?" Frigga tilted her head.
"Yeah he was there when Fárbauti gave birth but we haven't seen him since we told him the baby couldn't go anywhere." The other replied. Frigga shook her head as she flipped the pages and started to walk away from the nursery towards Fárbauti's room. She walked through the opened door and waved Fárbauti sat in her bed, staring into nothingness whilst the lights were off. Frigga raised a brow as she flicked the light on. Fárbauti still didn't move. Frigga cautiously made her way over to her, Fárbauti had long raven hair that reached her waist and pale white skin, the woman was dangerously thin and her eyes were as green as her child's.
"Mrs. McLaufeson you have to eat, you're about ninety nine pounds which isn't healthy at all." Frigga chimed as she stood beside the woman's hospital bed. Fárbauti said nothing as she continued to stare ahead.
"How are your withdrawals, Fárbauti?" She asked. Still no response. "Ma'm you have to cooperate if you want to get healthy and raise your baby." Frigga waved her finger at the other woman.
"What baby?" The raven haired woman asked quickly.
"You gave birth to her about a month ago. Have you decided a name yet? She was malnourished, probably because you didn't eat very often. If you continue this cycle we're probably going to have to hook you up to a feeding tube again." Frigga explained. Fárbauti grimaced; it seemed she had remembered that instance.
"Don't you want to go home with your daughter?"
"I don't care about that thing… I can leave without it. It disgusts me. It was small, sickly, pitiful and weak. Why would I want that dud of a child?" She spat angrily. Frigga took a few steps back, she couldn't comprehend how one could speak so hatefully towards their own friends.
"Mrs. McLaufeson you do realize that abandoning your child is a felony?" Frigga asked sternly.
"Because I'm such a law abiding citizen…" Fárbauti grumbled.
"You have a beautiful little girl in there that hasn't seen her mother since you gave birth to her." Fárbauti stayed silent, obviously in disagreement. Frigga shook her head as she let out a small sigh.
"Alright, I'll be back Fárbauti. Give me a moment." Frigga said quickly as she exited the room and headed towards one of the first nurses she passed down the hall.
"Mrs. McLaufeson means to abandon her child, call the police so she can be monitored please." Frigga whispered to the smaller woman. She nodded and speedily made her way to a phone as Frigga went to tend to some other patients.
About an hour later Frigga went back to Fárbauti's room, oddly all the lights had been shut off and the door had been locked. Frigga tilted her head in confusion as she tried to jiggle the handle in an attempt to open it. Suddenly the lights had been turned on and Fárbauti was visible through the window of the door, she was standing right in front of it. She smirked slightly before she walked away from the door, abandoning Frigga.
"Fárbauti! Open the door! Mrs. McLaufeson please?!" She yelled as she pounded on the door but the raven haired skeleton ignored her. Fárbauti opened the window all the way and took a glance at Frigga once more. Frigga choked as her face turned pale, Fárbauti had been placing herself on the window sill. It appeared she was aiming to jump out of the window.
"One of my patients means to jump out of the window! I need the security over here! Quick!" She shouted down the hallway. Frigga shrieked- they were on the fifth floor, if Fárbauti jumped she would be injured and possibly killed. She pounded on the door hard as she watched Fárbauti leap out of the window and Frigga let out a final scream from the sight. The security guards had arrived too late. They finally pried the door open and Frigga and a few other doctors quickly ran into the room. She ran to the window and poked her head outside, the wind blew her blonde strands from out of her face as she looked around, no sign of Fárbauti. Only blankets that had reached the ground level, tied together and blowing in the wind. Frigga's blue eyes descended to the green grass below that had been empty. She panted for a few moments as she stared at the vast and deserted ground below her.
Almost a week later Frigga was lingering in front of the nursery again, for once the little girl she had been overseeing wasn't crying loudly. She was sleeping soundly; Frigga moved closer to the glass and let out a small sigh.
"Why somebody would want to leave a little girl as beautiful as you I will never understand." She muttered. Another doctor had made her way to Frigga, looking uneasy.
"Yes?" She asked timidly.
"They have Laufey in custody. He was found squatting in Jotunsberg with heroin in his system but, when they arrested him Fárbauti was nowhere to be found." The other muttered.
"Damn." She sighed. "Well what happens to her?" Frigga pointed at the little girl. "She's at the right weight and everything. The only problem would be her crying."
"All babies cry Frigga. That's what they do."
"No, this is different, it's like… she knows somehow. I feel like she's crying because she's lonely… she's knows she doesn't have anyone in this world…" The two doctors were silent for a moment. Frigga quickly cleared her throat. "Well, what's happening to her at any rate?"
"Foster-care, most likely." The other answered, Frigga sighed a little. "Yeah, I know…" they added.
"Is there anything that would contest me taking her?" Frigga asked. The other stared at her for a moment. "Well?"
"I don't think so."
"The last thing this little girl needs is more people neglecting her…" Frigga trailed off as she walked away from the scene and stepped into the nursery, making her way to the raven haired baby. She gently picked her up and the baby began to whimper. Frigga attempted to rock her to calm her down and before she knew it the child was wailing in her usual fashion. Frigga shushed her as she swayed with the baby girl in her arms but she wouldn't settle.
"Shhh it's okay." She started quietly but the girl was still fussing. Frigga rocked her a little faster. "I know, you haven't had anybody to hold you like this…" She whispered. She recalled hearing the nurses mentioning Fárbauti not wanting to touch her when she was initially birthed. The baby was still crying but Frigga wasn't going to give up. Frigga exhaled softly and patted the baby's head gently.
"Don't worry, you're loved." She muttered, and suddenly the baby started to calm. She was still whimpering but her cries had quieted for a moment. "You're so loved." She added. At that moment the baby smiled for the first time in all the time Frigga had watched over it. She was looking at Frigga with her large green hues and Frigga couldn't help but chuckle as a single tear of joy fell from her eye. The little girl started to coo and Frigga moved her hand, giving her index finger for the small baby to grab and she did. The infant let out a giggle and Frigga couldn't help but grin.
"You're coming home with me… Loki." She trailed off softly.
"Are you crazy Frigga?" The voice of Odin echoed in their bedroom. On their bed was the infant carrier that held their new family member: Loki. She dreamily watched the two, oblivious that she was the subject of their heated conversation.
"Will you keep your voice down? Our son is napping and you're going to scare her." Frigga said in her usual low voice. The younger Odin turned his head slowly to glance at the infant on their bed, in response to his actions she giggled. Odin's eyes widened as if he hadn't seen a child before, he turned his head back towards Frigga.
"So this is what we're doing now, you adopt a child without even mentioning it to me? You just show up with a baby on our doorstep? 'Oh surprise! We have another baby!'?" Odin growled, his voice wasn't as loud as it was before. Frigga frowned.
"Odin, if you knew what was happening you would've done the same thing. And you know I've been talking about another baby for a while now."
"Yeah, but I'm not ready for this! I'm not ready for her." He replied quickly, pointing at Loki. The infant started to whimper.
"Odin, don't say things like that!" Frigga gasped as she went to pick Loki up and started to gently cradle her. Odin sighed as he moved closer to the two, when Loki had finally settled they began to speak again.
"Listen, we're exactly what she needs. This little girl needs to be with people who'll care about her. Which is here, and you know it is. I know it's unexpected but, all of the blessings in life usually are. So if you can stop letting your obsessive and controlling personality get the better of you, you'd see that she's exactly where she belongs." Frigga breathed as she looked down at the raven haired infant. Odin sighed again and placed a hand on her small forehead, slowly a small smile formed on his face.
"Well, she is a very enchanting child." He shrugged.
"Voters would probably like that you adopted a baby. Wouldn't that make you seem more human?" Frigga added. Odin rolled his eyes and started to laugh. "Oh you got the joke? That's a first." She went on.
"I'm not made of stone. Although, how would Thor take this?" Odin asked exhaling hard.
"Why are you worried? Thor falls in love with anything that's smaller than him." Frigga said finally. Odin shrugged in agreement and the two gazed between each other before leaning forward and sharing a tender kiss.
Almost a year had gone by and Loki had been growing normally. Frigga and Odin were thankful for this. She was getting along well with Thor for the most part and their family had seemed complete. Frigga couldn't be happier for the infant. She had been sitting on the kitchen floor with wrapping paper and presents circled around her, a snow storm happening out their window. Loki had been crawling amongst the gifts and paper and now was making her way to the door. It swiftly opened and a three-year-old Thor emerged, quickly going towards Frigga.
"Can I play in the snow?" He muttered as he took a seat beside her. Frigga looked down to small blonde boy and let out a small sigh. She looked out the window then back to him.
"No honey, we have to wait until morning." She answered patting his head. Her eyes drifted over to Loki who had been stumbling on her feet then getting back on her knees to crawl away from the two.
"Thor can you stop Loki and bring her back over here for me?" She asked as she tossed the newly wrapped gift aside. Thor quickly stood and jogged over to Loki, standing in front of her so that she couldn't get anywhere beyond him. She squealed as she tried to crawl away.
"Where you think you goin' lil' lady!" Thor stuttered as he stared down at her. He finally grasped her by her armpits and carefully brought her back to Frigga.
"Thank you honey." She whispered before patting Loki's head, her hair had grown a little more at this point. Thor sat beside her as well.
"Now what, Mommy?"
"Can you play with Loki? I know she's bored in here by herself." She sighed, obviously exasperated.
"Okay." He answered quickly and turned to face Loki who had been waving her arms. Thor gently grasped her wrists to make her still. She wriggled out of his grasp and started waving her hands in his face.
"Mommy! Loki keeps touching me!" He whined loudly. Frigga shook her head as she looked over at the two.
"That's because she wants you to play with her." She answered softly.
"Mommy!" Loki seemed to mutter while wiggling, one of the only words the baby knew how to say. Frigga lifted her head once more.
"Yes honey?" Frigga chuckled. Loki started to grumbled gibberish and Frigga nodded her head as if they were having an actual conversation. Obviously she was trying to mimic Thor. He shook his head as he picked the girl up again and sat closer to Frigga then he placed Loki in his lap.
"Loki, give high five!" Thor said as he held out his hand. Frigga laughed again as she continued with wrapping the packages. Loki consecutively attempted to hit Thor's hand and began giggling.
"Mommy, where did Loki come from?" Thor asked, his blue eyes staring up at Frigga's face. Frigga paused and returned the gaze. She let out a small sigh before putting down her tools and cleared her throat.
"I found her. One day I was walking in the hospital garden and there was a flower, it was so pretty I had to look inside. So I did, and Loki was in there. She was tiny, so I took her in the hospital so that the other doctors would help me make her normal sized. When she finally was I took her home and she's been ours ever since." Frigga explained. Thor's eyes widened as he hung on to her every word. "Do you know what that means?" She asked. Thor quickly shook his head while Loki squirmed around in his lap.
"That means Loki is very special, and we have to make sure we love and protect her." Frigga answered. Thor nodded in agreement as his eyes wandered downward to look at the raven haired baby in his lap.
"And you're her big brother, so that means you're going to have to protect her more than anybody else. Okay?" She said finally, patting the blonde boy's head. Thor smiled as he patted Loki's head in the same fashion and Frigga let out a final chuckle before getting back to her task.
"I know Thor wouldn't remember that story. But, I wanted you two to bond… and I wanted him to love you. I know all of this may be hard to hear…" Frigga sighed as she slouched in her seat. Loki had been sitting awestruck while Frigga told her story. Loki felt time stop, she wasn't even sure if she could move. Loki could feel herself breathing hard at this point. She spotted Frigga standing up from the desk and moving closer to her.
"You have to realize Loki, we love you regardless. You were mine the minute I laid my eyes on you." She whispered. Frigga reached her hand to touch Loki, she violently shoved the woman off and stood to her feet. Loki was simultaneously devastated and infuriated. Frigga looked frightened by Loki's reaction. The raven girl started to frown.
"You didn't hate me because I was a girl; you hated me because of where I came from." Loki muttered.
"No Loki, we've never hated you."
"Of course you hated me!" Loki yelled. Frigga stepped away from her, her face coated with fear. Loki started to whimper but she was certain she could hold back her tears. "You don't know what it feels like. To be in the background, to watch everyone love Thor… and now I know why. You and Odin lied when you should've told me the truth. You let me believe that I was something I wasn't- you're the reason I'm the way I am now. Just because you feel sorry for a baby bird that falls out of the nest doesn't mean you take the bird home, the bird will just be miserable and it won't know how to function." Loki's words echoed in the office. Frigga shook her head as the words exited her lips.
"No Loki, when a baby bird falls from the nest you take it home until you know it can fly." Frigga whispered. Loki scowled as she looked away. She knew they were liars. They've always been but now she was overwhelmed by the truth of it but, she was doing a good job at not crying.
"So when was I supposed to learn how to fly? It feels more like you clipped my wings and kept me as a novelty while your actual child soared."
"Loki, I brought you home because you deserved to be loved. You deserve to feel like you belong somewhere."
"You're selfish you know that? You took me because you figured I'd be happy. You took me because you thought you were being a good person, well… you can see how that worked out. You guys aren't looking like such great people right now!" Loki yelled. Frigga sighed.
"Loki please, you're my baby. I've always-"
"I'm not your baby. You stole me! You ripped me from my mother's womb! The bastard seed of two drug addicts of whom my existence nauseated!" She shouted. "I was your charity, your ploy. You used me for your own needs then when it became inconvenient you tossed me aside. I was the daughter of criminals from Jotunsberg- of course you'd get sympathy for taking me in. The swill of two low lives, abandoned and left for dead. Well thank you for waiting so long to tell me of my true parentage Frigga. It was greatly appreciated." She recited vociferously. Loki couldn't hold back her tears anymore but they seemed to be more like tears of anger than anything else. She whimpered as the droplets escaped her eye sockets, staining both of her cheeks. Loki inhaled hard and shivered while the two were silent.
"Loki, it doesn't matter where you came from. You belong here with us. We raised you, we're your true family. You shouldn't lose sight of that!"
"I'm tired of your lies!" Loki shouted finally. As she kicked the chair out of her walking path, she heard it slam against the wall as she pulled the door open. The door smacked against the wall as well as Loki made her way down the hall. She felt like her stomach was going to burst and emerge out of her mouth. There was a pain in her chest that she couldn't bear. It was like a dull sting that wouldn't fade. Before Loki knew it she was out of the hospital. She longed for something more agonizing to dull the feeling of heartbreak that had lingered inside of her. Who did she have to turn to? Loki would rather die alone than to go running to anyone. She walked all the way back to their home, she hadn't even noticed it. But when she had arrived she realized she didn't want to be anywhere near there. Loki let out a sigh, the Saturday night was young. She couldn't fathom anywhere else she could go. Although, she had frequently been alone most of the time- so why was it so hard for her to be alone at the moment?
Loki had arrived at the clearing she and Thor had gone to frequently in the summer. Even through all of this she couldn't help but think of him. Did he know she was adopted as well? The feeling burned inside of her. Adopted, what did that say about her lineage? She always thought of herself superior to others now, she was questioning herself. She sat by a small lake in the center of the clearing, she lingered in the darkness and left herself to her thoughts. This changed everything; she had only been acting as a male because she wanted Odin and Frigga to love her. She had been completely off this hole time, so the question was… was she really transgendered or was she just trying to win the loving eyes of her parents? It all came back to Thor, as it always did. It seemed all her life that being herself wasn't enough and the only way to be admired was to make herself be more like him. Perhaps there was a time for a change. She began to ponder her sexuality in question. She'd spend most of her life on her own when it came to relationships and Sigyn was her first "significant other". Loki tried to recollect any time where she had been attracted to males. She shrugged; she hadn't really been attracted to anyone. It was hard to decide... She only had eyes for Thor. This still disgusted her; they were still related in a way. Raised together, played together. It was just wrong. Loki truly believed she was losing her mind. She finally stood and began to exit the scene.
Loki walked down the dark road sighing. She knew Frigga was under stress, she wouldn't come looking for her. Even if everything was fine she knew Frigga wouldn't search for her. This fact was depressing her again. She kicked at the crunchy fall leaves as she wandered down the road.
"Loki!" She heard from above. Loki raised her head as she searched for the source. Loki's eyes narrowed when she realized she was passing by Sigyn's house. She let out a sigh before slipping her hands in her jean pockets. Sigyn's head had been poking out of her window, grinning down at the raven haired girl.
"Oh… Hey." Loki replied listlessly. She wanted to punch Sigyn in the face. If she came anywhere around her she would surely get rough with her for screwing up the compound. Loki sighed again, who was she kidding? Loki didn't get rough with anyone, much less an idiot high school student. She reminded herself that it was her fault and not Sigyn's. She was a sophomore, not a chemist. Before Loki knew it Sigyn was downstairs in the front yard slowly approaching her. Loki allowed her outsides to be apathetic while she raged deep in her core. The short blonde hugged Loki tightly and planted a kiss on her cheek. She grasped Loki's hand and dragged her towards her house.
"My parents aren't home." She whispered while grinning. Great… how could Loki manage to deal with Sigyn at a time like this? At this point she just allowed her to pull her along. Loki was led to the couch of the family's living room. Sigyn quickly took a seat next to her and stared at the taller girl dreamily. Her gaze was ended. She probably noticed Loki's higher amount of distance.
"Loki, is everything okay?" She started, her face filled with concern. "Is it Thor?" She asked. Loki's green eyes widened as she turned to look at Sigyn. The two were silent for a moment.
'Are you fucking kidding me? Even when that mother fucker is gone he seems to be the only thing anybody can fucking talk about.' Loki thought, her anger pulsating through her veins.
"Well, a lot of people have been talking about how they haven't seen him since the school was attacked by that psycho." She added.
'Oh psycho, thanks Sigyn. Such kind words from my girlfriend.' Loki sighed in her mind. She couldn't stand this any; she wanted to make her exit immediately. Her eyes lingered on the short blonde for a moment. She noticed she had been in a tight fitting t-shirt and shorts. Loki slowly licked her lips as her eyes lingered on her. She could tell that she hadn't been wearing a bra underneath the shirt, who knew if she was even wearing panties. Even when Loki despised Sigyn it was always her looks that drew her back in. Loki acted on impulse, that impulse being to ravage the small girl right there and then to distract herself from her inner turmoil. Loki pounced on Sigyn as she lowered the girl to lay with her back against the couch. At that point Loki crawled on top of her and hovered over her for a moment. She finally brought her face downward so that their lips could collide and that they did. Loki was kissing a lot more roughly than she usually would but she knew the small blonde enjoyed it from the sounds she had been making from below. Loki finally placed her hand over Sigyn's breast from under her shirt and stimulated the blonde's nipples. Loki opened her eyes for a moment to admire her work. Sigyn was red as a beet, and panting from the sensation. Loki wanted to smirk but she recoiled and continued with her actions. She finally slipped a hand in the front of the girl's shorts and just as she suspected there was no underwear present. Loki used her index and middle finger to tease the shorter girl's hole before finally inserting them, she felt Sigyn's privates moisten from her touch and in return she felt herself become aroused as well. Loki kissed along the side of Sigyn's neck as she slowly pumped her fingers inside of her. The smaller girl moaned and brought Loki's face to hers once more.
"Loki, I think we're ready." Sigyn whispered breathlessly. Loki stared at the girl for a moment and paused.
"Ready for what?" Her voice cracked as she spoke. It was a stupid question but Loki had been caught off guard.
"I want you…in me." She answered bashfully. Loki looked passed the fact that Sigyn was moving entirely too fast and focused on the main dilemma. That being, Loki didn't have a penis. Loki lowered her head before clearing her throat. It had been so easy before to tell Sigyn no. Today was different, everything felt different. Loki knew she had been silent for a while. Sigyn was obviously awaiting an answer. Loki slowly retracted her fingers from inside the blonde. She stared down at her for a moment, not moving from on top of her. Loki could feel her green eyes watering slightly as she stared into Sigyn's blue eyes.
"I should go." Loki grumbled.
"Why, you just got here? Was it something I said?" She whimpered.
"I just- I should leave."
"Listen Loki, I'm sorry. I know you're stressed."
"I just don't feel like it."
"Loki, are you sure you're not gay?" Sigyn asked finally. Loki stared at her again but remained silent. "Loki I really like you please, don't dismiss me without trying. Please, I can be what you need-" The girl went on, her needy meter just went to a hundred. Loki was growing tired of her pleas but Sigyn wouldn't cease.
"I'm a girl." She blurted out, sounding irritated. She couldn't believe what she was doing. Sigyn tilted her head a little as she stared at Loki. They were awkwardly silent for a moment.
"So you feel like a girl on the inside?" Sigyn asked. Loki rolled her eyes.
'No, you idiot. I am biologically a woman.'
"No I mean, I'm actually a girl."
"No… are you?" Sigyn started to trail off; Loki had tuned her out at this point. Loki moved from on top of the girl while she spoke to herself. Muttering about something about how Loki should try with her anyways. Sigyn wasn't getting it through her thick blonde head. Loki stood, turning away from Sigyn and pulled off her plaid flannel shirt then her black undershirt. The other had still not noticed. All that was left was Loki's binder. She began to unravel it until her breasts had been exposed. She tossed the remains to the floor before turning to face Sigyn once more. Sigyn's eyes widened from the sight and she finally stopped talking. Loki exhaled hard as they stared at each other in silence.
"I'm a girl…" She repeated and it seemed Sigyn finally understand. Loki took a deep breath before she pulled her black shirt back on and gathered the rest of her belongings and rushed out of the house. She didn't wait for Sigyn to react, she didn't care anymore.
Embarrassed and disoriented, Loki made her way back to her own "home". All she could think of was how she had done to Sigyn what Frigga had done to her earlier. She felt petty, although she already knew she was. Loki had to bequeath misery on someone else, which had been her only source of happiness at this point. When she finally arrived home she noticed all the lights were still off. Loki assumed that no one was home and she knew she was correct when she finally entered. She flicked on the hall light and slowly made her way down the hall, sighing. Loki placed her hand on her doorknob and quickly let go of it. She sighed again as she tossed her belongings on the floor and then continued her way down the hall. She lingered in front of Thor's room which was still partially opened, the lights were on as well. She stepped inside, it seemed so incomplete. She sluggishly walked towards his closet and let her slender fingers run along his clothes he had hanging therein. Loki whimpered slightly as she retracted her hand and walked away. She went to his bed now and slowly sat down. She pulled off her converse and tossed them aside as she climbed on. Loki scooted up to the headboard of the bed and grasped one of his pillows. His scent had lingered on it, a deep longing swept over her thin frame.
"Fucker…" She whispered angrily as he hugged the pillow tight to her chest. There were tears now, she couldn't begin to understand how much she could love and hate someone. She sighed as the droplets dripped onto the pillow, leaving small wet stains. Loki brought the pillow closer to her body, nuzzling it. Loki laid backward and curled into a fetal position as she held his pillow tight in her arms as she felt herself doze off.
This time she knew she'd wake as a male, because she wanted to. Loki dreamt that she woke from inside of the bathtub of their bathroom. The very bathroom she'd been dreaming of consistently, where she had been molested. She sighed as she attempted to rid her mind of the memories of the event but suddenly faint apparitions of the event flashed before her eyes, they appeared almost like a heartbeat then faded. Loki took the initiative to exit the bathroom, not being able to withstand the look of pain in her eyes as she was violated on her own bathroom floor. She walked out of the bathroom, noticing that she was adorned in white again. Her abdomen was bleeding profusely, she was startled by this initially and she took hold of her male torso. Loki whimpered as she made her way into the living room and then the dining room. More memory apparitions appeared, this time of when she first heard Odin announce Thor becoming an intern. Loki sighed and quickly exited, she walked outside into the bright daylight.
"Loki!" She heard. It was Thor's voice, she would be able to recognize it anywhere. Loki ran towards it which was aimlessly down the road.
"Thor!" he replied as he jogged. His white skinny jeans dirtying, Loki paused and tried to dust them off. "Ugh fuck, not again." He grumbled. Finally he gave up and started to run again, he finally reached a field. The grass was grown high but it was dead looking, barren and dry. Thor had been standing in the field, and Loki cautiously made his way toward him. Thor had been wearing black, Loki wondered if the other had noticed his bleeding torso. When the two finally came face to face Thor simply stared at Loki.
"I was looking for you…" The blonde whispered before firmly grasping the thinner male's neck. Loki shivered as he stared at him for a moment.
"I've been home the whole time." Loki replied in his usual monotone. Thor didn't loosen his grip. He simply stared hard at Loki. It was strange for Loki to witness such a thing. Thor's blue eyes finally narrowed and he pulled him closer.
"No, you haven't." He whispered. Thor then took Loki and roughly threw him onto the grass. Loki slid a little, cringing on his back. What the hell? Suddenly Thor was on top of him, this time he was softly petting the other male's neck. Loki was confused; this was off the usual path that his dreams had gone. Regrettably it felt good to see Thor again, the past few days had be arduous enough. It didn't matter that it was just in his mind. Unexpectedly Thor wrapped both of his large hands around Loki's pale neck and began to strangle him. Loki started to kick underneath him. He began to panic.
"Th-Thor, what are you d-doing?" He coughed and wheezed as he felt his air supply becoming more limited by the minute. Thor finally let go of Loki's neck but before he could inhale their lips had met in a sloppy kiss. Mostly sloppy due to Thor's tongue overpowering Loki's as their mouths connected. Thor finally broke the kiss as he stared down at Loki. Something about him seemed a lot more rugged than usual. The sun caused him to glow ominously on top of him. Thor slowly brought his index finger to Loki's mouth. Loki was unsure of his intentions so he simply stayed still.
"Open your mouth." Thor grunted angrily. Loki shivered a little, Thor was scaring him but he also enjoyed being overpowered by him as well. Loki parted his lips and allowed Thor's thick finger to enter, Loki was still nervous and unsure of what Thor was expecting of him.
"Suck it…" He breathed and Loki obliged. He couldn't help but worry where Thor's hands had been prior though but still- Loki let his tongue circle around Thor's index finger before he started to suck it gently. Thor grinned before he added the middle finger along with it and Loki started to suck a little harder. "Yeah get them nice and wet." He muttered in a sensual fashion. Loki felt strangely erotic. Thor retracted his fingers and violently pulled Loki's jeans down and let them linger around his ankles. Loki shuddered for a moment and Thor parted his legs. Loki wasn't sure why he was so nervous at this point, perhaps because they were in the open. Thor slowly slid his fingers into Loki's hole that had been throbbing at this point. Loki moaned loudly as Thor massaged the insides, he squirmed under him as his moans became louder. Thor quickly brought his free hand to Loki's mouth, covering it angrily.
"Shhh." Thor hissed as he paused and glanced around them quickly. Loki started to wiggle more now; he wondered what Thor was trying to do. Why was he acting like this? Thor started back with his fingering. He swiftly began to bring his fingers in and out of Loki, the paler male couldn't help but make noises that reflected the many degrees of pleasure that Thor had been providing him. Finally Thor was tired of Loki's sounds and pulled his fingers out of him, leaving Loki longing for more. Thor pulled off his own shirt and began to unbutton his jeans and pulled them downward. Loki blushed from the sight of it. His gazing was interrupted when Thor quickly turned the smaller male over. Loki began to panic; this wasn't in the usual fashion that Thor had used. He was being very forceful with Loki which was making him very nervous. Loki swallowed his fear just as Thor gripped his raven locks and brought his head upward once more, his other hand close to Loki's mouth.
"Spit." He ordered and Loki obliged. Thor had lubed his member with Loki's saliva and pushed his head down in the dry grass once more. Loki whimpered slightly, he was afraid and Thor hadn't even entered him yet. The blonde coarsely started to thrust into the younger sibling and began to hum in pleasure as he relentlessly and violently pushed his cock deeper inside of him. Loki started to pant as he felt the pleasure run through him. Thor gripped his locks again and pulled them hard. Loki cried out in pain but Thor ignored him. The rhythm of Thor's thrusts began to quicken when Loki started to cringe, involuntarily tightening his hole around Thor's dick as he pounded inside of him. Loki still felt pleasure but the pain was all too apparent. He felt his eyes water as Thor began to thrust even faster. Loki's hole throbbed as Thor plunged in and out of it, it seemed that he didn't care how hard Thor handled him. The bottom line was that he was enjoying every minute of it. Loki's veins pulsated as he felt himself climax, and with each of Thor's thrusts he simultaneously released his seed on the ground underneath them. Loki couldn't help but cry out in pleasure at this point and Thor was too distracted to stop him. It seemed he was well on his way to an orgasm judging by his pace. Loki whimpered slightly as he panted.
"Thor stop, I can't take it anymore." He whined, it was true. His cock was trembling and he was feeling weak, he felt drained. Thor ignored him again as he started to pound hard into Loki's ass. Loki started to gasp and cringe as he did so, until he finally felt Thor fill his insides up then pull out of him. Thor had moved from on top of him. He presumed that he was dressing again, Loki decided to do the same. Loki started whimper again as he pulled his jeans back up, his knees were slightly scrapped. He felt dirty and slightly violated. It wasn't like the other times he and Thor had sex, it was different. Loki zipped himself up and turned to look at Thor who was now exiting the field and going towards his truck. Loki's eyes widened as he ran after him.
"Thor, wait!" He yelled. It was so strange, he would've never done something like this in his waking life, and he didn't. He just watched Thor leave. It was for naught anyways; the blonde had already been in his truck and had even started it. Loki frowned as he stared at his brother.
"Thor… please?" He whispered sadly. Thor's hard and angry expression had faded and now his blue eyes were coated with sympathy. The older male had seemed to whimper before he finally started to speed away from the scene. Loki frowned as his eyes descended, revealing himself to be a girl again, the same dress as the other dream and everything. His scratched up knees were especially noticeable in the white sundress and his stomach had been bleeding once more. Loki closed his eyes again and gasped in fear when he was overcome with the sensation of him falling.
Loki woke in an instant and glanced around Thor's room then out the window. She didn't want to risk going to sleep and having another unpleasant dream. Loki gave Thor's pillow one more squeeze before leaving his room. Loki quickly went to the bathroom, noticing the sun was up once more and there was still not sign of anybody home. She slowly started to pull off her clothes in front of the mirror. First was her shirt, she was indefinitely bare underneath. While the shirt had been on with her binder off her breasts had protruded through it, she wasn't used to seeing that. She gulped a little as she stared at her reflection. Loki then dropped her baggy jeans, she was now only standing in her boxer briefs and soon she slipped those past her hips and stepped out of them. Her green eyes examined every inch of her body. She was slightly embarrassed by herself so her cheeks turned a light shade of pink. Her hands covered her pink areolas for a moment before she brought her fingers together to pinch her nipples. Loki quickly retracted her fingers from further embarrassment. She finally went to the tub and ran the water until it filled up. Loki stepped in and couldn't help but think of Thor. She sighed as she slouched in the tub; she closed her eyes for a second.
She figured it would do no harm but when she reopened the tub had been filled with blood. Loki shrieked as she jumped up and out of the tub. Her body was literally soaking in it. She turned her head as the light in the bathroom began to darken, Loki began to panic. She shrieked when she spotted a figured behind her, hiding in the shadows.
"Please, no." Loki sniffled as she began to cover her body with her hands. She continued to hyperventilate as she stepped backward. The figure began to step into the light. It was Fandral, quickly afterward Hogun and Volstagg emerged from the darkness. At this point the raven haired girl was crying.
"Aw what's wrong Loki? Scared? Because you know Thor isn't here to save you?" Hogun grumbled as he grasped her by her shoulders, smirking at her. Loki started to shake her head as she bolted for the door, she slipped and fell on her stomach. Before she knew it someone was hovering over her, they quickly turned her over and it was revealed that it was Fandral. He grinned down at her before forcing his lips against her. Loki tried her best to get him off of her.
"Where are you going?" He muttered sensually, his fingers trickling down her stomach towards in between her legs.
"Don't do this, I'll tell and you'll have to deal with the state."
"Yeah well, I want our case to be really interesting." He whispered through a smirk. He bit down on his lower lip before unfastening his pants and exposing his erect penis. He leant forward kissing along her neck. Loki shivered when felt him properly position himself so he could enter her. All she did was wish that Thor was there to help her. Loki's expression hardened when she realized how pitiful she looked. Before he could penetrate her she lifted her leg and swiftly kicked him in the face. He scowled on the floor as she stood to her feet. Her foot collided with his stomach repeatedly as Fandral squirmed on the bathroom tile. Hogun and Volstagg had seemed to be gone now. He let out another grunt of pain as Loki turned away from him. She went over to her sink where a conveniently place lighter and spray can had sat. She picked it up along with the bottle of hairspray. She ignited the lighter and began to spray in his direction. Staring hard as Fandral was in engulfed in flames. She heard him screech in pain and a smirk slowly formed on her face.
"Yeah, me too." She muttered as she tossed her weapons aside and made her way back to her blood filled tub. She was overcome with a feeling of superiority and great power. Yes, she felt powerful, ruthless. She smirked almost viciously as she quickly stepped into the tub and sunk deep inside of it.
Loki had finally opened her eyes again. She must've dozed off in the bath. Loki panted in fear as she glanced around the room. She should've known she was dreaming. She didn't know why she was thinking of Thor or Fandral or anybody. How could she dream about them at a time like this? Loki still felt a sting in her chest, she wished she could distract herself from how fucked up her life was but everything had been a constant reminder of how terrible everything was. Loki wanted that to change, the problem was… How would she go about doing it?
Loki walked out of her bedroom; she was no longer using her binder at this point. She lazily stepped down the hall in a loose fitting t-shirt and sweatpants. Her hair in a high pony tail. Her whole identity was fucked up now. Loki had a notion of who she really was but she still had the same dilemma. She entered the kitchen and sniffed the air. Somebody was home. Loki quickly walked into the dining room and saw Frigga seated at the table with three plates prepared.
"I was hoping you were home…" Frigga whispered. Loki's eyes narrowed at the older woman as she lingered in the doorway. Sunday dinner… That seemed to be tradition Frigga didn't want to give up. Frigga frowned as her gaze descended to her plate. Loki let out a sigh and took a seat across from the woman. Loki started to pick at her food before she glanced at the third plate.
"Who's that for?" Loki whispered.
"I was hoping Thor would be home too…" The older woman sighed. Loki shook her head as she took a small bite of her food.
"Thor is an ass; don't set yourself up for disappointment…" She grumbled. She could feel Frigga staring at her while she ate.
"We mustn't lose hope so easily Loki." She replied. Loki paused and glanced up to look at the blonde woman.
"…Implying that there was hope to start with."
"Everything happens for a reason Loki, I don't believe in coincidences." Frigga stated sternly. Loki rolled her eyes, again with the whole "god" thing. She sort of detested Odin and Frigga's incessant need to bring up religion, if there was a god he was obviously wasn't looking at their family with favor. Loki stayed silent as she continued to eat, she hated the constant reminders of her brother that Frigga had bequeathed on her.
"You're dressed differently…" Frigga started. Loki tried to ignore her as she finished off her plate, she sort of wanted to steal Thor's plate and eat his food as well. She knew he wouldn't be coming around any time soon. Frigga tilted her head as she awaited Loki's response.
"Yeah I'm thinking of… I don't know …changing up my look a bit." She sighed.
"If that's so I have something interesting to show you." Frigga said before getting up from the table and tapping her on the shoulder. Loki cringed from the touch. Her eyes followed the blonde woman as she exited the room. Loki quickly stood and followed behind her.
When she reached the living room she saw Frigga making her way towards the door that lead to basement of their house. Loki caught up with her, initially the basement had been dark but Frigga turned on a light, the basement hardly looked like a basement. It was almost like a second living room only with storage boxes. Frigga made her way to a particular box and brought it to one of the couches as she opened it.
"What's that?" Loki muttered. Frigga pulled out a dark blue cardigan. The raven haired girl raised an eyebrow as she sat beside her. She peeked into the other contents of the box, it all appeared to be more clothes.
"When you were younger, you and I had a bit of a shopping spree. I'm not sure if all this would fit you. When you started…" Frigga paused before lowering her head. "Started your phase… We sort of packed all of your girl things away and put them down here with the rest of your old things." She continued. Loki couldn't help but feel guilty, she had misled herself. Perhaps this was the true meaning of her other dream. Maybe she didn't need to be a guy to be herself, there were actual people out there who had that dilemma and she wasn't one of them. She felt bad for that. Loki pulled a few of her old articles of clothing and pressed them to her chest. She sighed before dropping it back into the box.
"If I changed… would you hate me?" Loki asked uneasily.
"I could never hate you, Loki." Frigga said sweetly. She brought her hand to Loki's face and started to pet her for a moment. "I just want you to be happy." She added. Loki lowered her head. She was still furious but more than anything she wanted Frigga to be like this more often, giving her the attention she deserved. Loki replaced all the items in the box and picked it up. She began to head for the steps so she could add the clothes to her drawers. Loki wasn't sure if her dressing like a girl again would make her feel better but maybe she would begin to finally know who she wanted to be. It seemed trial and error were her only options at this point.
"Look at how tall you're getting. Soon you're going to be Thor's height." Frigga sighed as she watched her. Loki stopped to look at the blonde for a moment then flashed a faux smile. She then continued up the stairs and headed straight for her bedroom. One thing was for sure, if she didn't create an image for herself people would be comparing her to Thor for the rest of her life.
Loki had just finished showering. The freshly cleaned girl was now in her room naked, staring at herself in the mirror. She inhaled deep then exhaled hard as her eyes wandered down to the underwear she had laid out on her bed. They had been from years ago but she couldn't have grown that much, could she? Loki had taken the initiative to completely shave her privates, armpits and anywhere else she had hair growing. Regrettably, it took forever until she was finally bare. It was almost as if she was rebirthing herself, starting a new. Either that or she just enjoyed the feel of her skin whenever she shaved. She couldn't even believe that almost a week ago she was planning on talking to Odin and Frigga about taking testosterone injections. Now here she was pulling striped panties past her knees. They were a little tight on her hips, otherwise they fit fine. She then reached for the bra, she stared at it hard for a moment. She recalled wearing one as a preteen but, she hadn't worn one since. Loki was relieved when she realized she knew how to swiftly place the bra over her breasts and snap it closed. The only problem was her breasts seemed to have grown much larger than whatever size bra she was wearing so they overlapped the padding. Loki sighed hoping no one would notice. Then came her pants. The jeans fit tight as well but they fit so everything was fine. Although, they were like a second skin she still managed to button them and take a glance at herself in the mirror once more. Finally she draped her sleeveless opaque dress shirt over her shoulders and slowly began to button it up. Loki tucked the shirt into her jeans then began to comb her hair backward before placing a black headband over it. She took a final look at herself in the mirror and reached for her old makeup box. She didn't know how to apply it then and she didn't know how to apply it now. After several instances of poking her left eye Loki finally began to properly draw along her lid with her black eyeliner. She groaned when she realized she had to do the other eye as well. She grunted in frustration when she was finally done. Loki examined herself in the mirror again, it was like she was a different person now. But perhaps she wasn't maybe this was her true form. She gulped before grabbing her backpack. She darted for her room to grab one of her notebooks, she had little time to back it so she held it under her arm. She began heading towards their front door and slipped on navy blue flats and stepped outside. With Thor gone she'd have to rely on the school bus to transport her back and forth from their high school. And it was all too much of hassle to walk through the woods from their back yard every day.
The dirt billowed as the bus pulled to the front of the Olsen household. Loki wheezed a little before she noticed it had come to a halt. The doors had already opened. Loki quickly ran on the bus and took a seat in the middle. The bus made a U-turn as it slowly made its way from house to house, picking the other students. Loki sighed as she stared out the window, she felt drowsy. She blinked a few times before finally falling asleep.
When Loki woke the bus had emptied and was parked on the side of the road. The sun was glaring against the window beside her seat. Loki drowsily blinked as she gazed outside. There was a similar field to the others near her house adjacent to the road. She shook her head as she stared; the wind blew the high grass. It seemed the outside was a monochrome scheme of gold and white. She sighed a little before looking away and jumping a little from the sight of her male-self beside her. Loki held her chest for a moment as she stared up at.
"Finally, I was beginning to think I'd never get to see you again. Fuck me and you don't even call? Rude." He chuckled. Loki curled her lips in a skeptical smirk before laughing as well. She lowered her head as she licked her lips. She could feel him staring at her.
"Hey…" He whispered as he placed his hand under her chin and brought her face to look at his once more. Their green eyes met and Loki could feel her face heat up from blushing. "Come here." He breathed as he leant over and kissed her. Their kisses deepened quickly and her male form was laying her down on the bus seat as he unfastened his pants. Loki trembled in excitement and anxiety, when she could finally see his cock peek out of his boxers she licked her lips. He grinned in return as he stared to pull off her pants and panties, leaving her pant less underneath him. Loki wasn't nervous the way she was the first time. It was probably because she knew it was a dream and because her other self was earnestly looking out for her best interests.
"We didn't come last time…Second time is a charm huh?" He moaned as he finally slid himself inside of her. Loki gasped a little then gripped him as he slowly thrusted into her. She started to breathe hard as she threw her head back.
"I think you mean third time's a charm." She corrected before purring in pleasure.
"Stop being a smart ass." He grunted as his thrusts began to speed up. Loki whined underneath of her male form as she began to grind against him as he plunged into her. She could hear him cursing above her as he leant his hand on the seat cushion and pounded faster inside. Loki started to moan louder as the seat rocked back and forth repeatedly in the rhythm of her male-self's thrusts.
"Yeah, take that cock!" He tried to yell. Loki moaned as she closed her eyes and placed her hand on his mouth tightly.
"Please, stop talking." She groaned. Pleasure rippled through her being as he began to fuck her even harder than before. She wondered if this is what sex actually felt like or if this was just some type of wet dream feeling. Loki cursed as she gripped her other self tight, he was really plowing into her at this point. All of his words began to fade, all she could interpret was him urging for her to climax. This went on her another minute, the two would be on the cusp of an orgasm but it would quickly disappear. It was almost impossible for them to reach satisfaction. The other Loki finally buckled as he collapsed on top of her and began to pant, she did the same as she stared at the ceiling of the bus.
"It isn't working." He wheezed. He lifted his lower body slightly to pull himself out of her. Loki patted his back simply because she didn't know what else to do. He rolled over and laid beside her. He brought her closer to his chest so they both could fit on the seat.
"Also, good job with the whole Thor thing." He added, trying to catch his breath.
"It went a lot crazier than expected."
"Well we still did a good job."
"I kind of feel bad."
"What? Why?"
"I dunno, he's our brother… We were close."
"Just because it ended up this way doesn't mean we don't love him. Besides, this gives us a myriad of opportunities." He shrugged. She stared up at him and let out sigh. "Like, finally winning the loving eyes of Odin and Frigga. There is no denying it, Frigga was right. We do deserve to be loved, we deserve to feel like we belong…" He added. Loki was confused, she knew this would be another realization she'd have later in her waking life but at what cost. She felt his lips kiss her forehead.
"I'm proud of us." He muttered. Loki's eyes ascended so she could catch a glimpse of him. When she looked at him he had the appearance of Thor. Loki jumped and gasped from the sight, falling off the bus seat. She looked up once more and saw the simple form of her male-self.
"What?" He whispered.
"Nothing…" She muttered.
"We should probably wake up now…" He grunted.
Loki jumped when she woke up. Luckily the bus had been in front of the school at this point. She tried to ignore the cop cars lingering in the parking lot. Loki hastily moved down the isle of the bus ultimately exiting it. She gripped her notebook, pressing it to her chest as she walked into the building. She was anxious; when she entered the school she received many glances. It was almost like a movie and time was moving slow as she walked down the hall- making her way to her locker. When she reached her destination she exhaled hard and opened the locker. So far, so good... Loki put her books away as she rummaged around inside her of locker in slight embarrassment. She was quickly trying to devise a way not to call attention to herself.
"Loki, is that you?" She heard an approaching voice inquire. Loki felt her stomach drop and her heart skip a beat. She slowly turned her head to see who it was, fearing the worst.
A/N: Thanks for the faves/follows/reviews. Like it? Review? Hate it? Review. Lengthy reviews are encouraged. Always glad to entertain you guys with my gross story lol.