Last updated: 12/29/2013 18:31 (UTC-5:00)
: . : + Bonus Level + : . :
. Congratulations, Player 1, You've unlocked a new character and cake... .
User:Kitty - Don' you be telling 'em 'bout no cake; it's a LIE!
. Permission Denied. Permission level necessary: Player. Do you wish to switch to actively logged in user 'Player 1'? (Y/N): | .
User: Kitty - Player 1? Oh, Heeyyy~ Kitty here to announce that you've just unlocked a bonus level! Congratulations, you're in for some fabulicious content, starring yours truly!
Sudo-User: Zepuka - Computer. sudo pkill user-introduction-sequence; it'll be more personal with the developer addressing the audience...
. Command acknowledged. Stopping thread... stopped. .
Sudo-User: Zepuka - Thanks to all you wonderful readers, this story has now received over 1,000 views! I wanted to share a little special something to thank you; I feel incredibly honored at your support!
User: Kitty - And how much more special can you get, than by reading all about wonderful, beautiful me!
Sudo-User: Zepuka - Uh, Kitty… technically, you just play a small part in this content… You're not even the character mentioned in the game level title...
User:Kitty - Shut yo' mouth, gurl! Yo' crazy!
Sudo-User: Zepuka - …If I weren't arguing with my own OC right now, I'd have better grounds to rebuff that claim…
User:Kitty - Well git on with it, gurl! You can't keep 'em waiting forever! I'm sure they're just DYING to read more about my adventure… staring the one and only moi!
Sudo-User: Zepuka - Ugh... fine. So I just wanted to explain this chapter a little bit before you got into it. Chronologically, it comes inbetween chapters one and two, but I decided I didn't want to break up the flow of the story from Ralph's point of view, particularly because it's a rather depressed one. This chapter was intended to be more comic relief than anything (and a bit of romance on the side, considering it's one of the categories I listed this story under, and I figured I shouldn't wait for too many chapters in before starting that up), so I just didn't want to make ya'll into bipolar readers, playing with your emotions so. I was actually going to scrap this chapter entirely, and move out the necessary parts to other chapters (I already did move some of the important chronological details into chapters one and two), but when I saw the opportunity to add it back in as bonus material, I couldn't resist! I also tried to make it more fun... there are a ton of 'Easter eggs' in this one! As in, references to other pop-culture and media. See if you can find them all! The answers are listed in the Cheat Codes! section of the Meta-Data at the end of the chapter so you can check yourself. I had so much fun writing this chapter, and even got a bit carried away... I shortened it up as best I could, but it's still rather long… too many characters to play with! And they're all just so –
User:Kitty - GURL! Wouldja just SHUT UP already! Geesh! They don' wanna hear 'bout your boring thought process, they're all waitin' to see ME! And I'M 'bout ready to fall asleep here! Can't a gurl get some sugar!?
Sudo-User: Zepuka - I thought you said you'd have enough sugar from the events of this chapter...
User:Kitty - Don' choo make me come over there and scratch some sense into 'at head o' yours!
Sudo-User: Zepuka - Ok! ok! Look, I'm starting now! Don't hurt me... *whimper* Computer! sudo bash !
. Command Acknowledged. Starting... .
. : : Disconnection : : .
Bonus Level: The Muffin Man
. Day of Sugar Rush's 20th Anniversary, Shortly After the Conclusion of the Roster Race .
"Alright, Minty, is that everyone?" Taffyta inquired as she opened the doors to the presidential throne room, granting entrance to a handful of racers.
"Nearly. Rancis said he had some urgent business to attend to and would catch up as soon as he could."
"Figures. More likely than not he's off trying to charm some random piece of candy with his dashing good looks and… wicked smile…"
"Uhhh Taffyta…? You okay? Your eyes are looking a bit sugar-glazed over…" Minty smirked.
"Erm, yes, perfectly fine!" Taffyta stuttered, shaking herself out of it. "Alright, everyone! In case you didn't know, Vanellope has been acting a bit strange lately, and I petitioned to have this presidential meeting so we can confront her about it and get to the bottom of the issue, before it affects us all!"
All the other racers nodded in agreement, save Rancis, who was still absent, and Candlehead, who was clothed in her usual dazed expression, seemingly quite fascinated with the assortment of shiny displays lining the walls.
"Is it true she wiped out on Twizzler's turn?" Jubileena inquired, her cherry stem wilting with worry.
Whispers broke out among the other racers, discussing their theories on the rumor. That is, minus Candlehead, who was now more interested in a particular display – a jeweled cereal box upon a pedestal.
"I'm afraid that's true." Taffyta admitted, "but we can't let it drag us down! We just celebrated our twentieth anniversary and we will continue to thrive!" Taffyta paused awkwardly; she had always been more for smack talk than for pep talk, so she wasn't entirely sure what to say next. She was saved from having to decide when Candlehead exclaimed, "The royal cereal is alive!"
Thinking she'd finally lost her marbles – er, jelly beans -, the other racers turned to see what the heck Candlehead could be talking about. To their surprise, she was partially right. The royal cereal box was moving about on its own as Candlehead clutched it tight, as if it had an aversion to being in the arms of stupidity.
Now, under normal circumstances, the racers might be appalled that someone dared to touch one of the royal emblems without the explicit permission of the president, but given the fact that one of them had seemingly come to life, this hardly crossed their minds. Instead, they all encircled Candlehead and the box, muttering amongst themselves as to what should be done about it.
Swizzle offered an answer first, exclaiming, "Let's open it!"
Before Taffyta could protest, the other racers joined Swizzle in his chant, prompting Candlehead to open the lid. In an instant, the cat was out of the bag – er, box. It nearly escaped too, if it hadn't been for Gloyd's quick thinking. The would-be escapee was now unhappily trapped under Gloyd's ginormous pumpkin hat, and letting its frustration be known audibly.
"Good job, Gloyd! Now let's just—" Taffyta started, but was cut off as the doors to the presidential hall began to open once more. When a teal and black figure emerged into Taffyta's peripheral, she commaned as quietly as she could, "Quick! Return the box to its pedestal! And not one word about what's under Gloyd's hat!" Goodness knows she didn't want to trouble Vanellope any further, beyond whatever it was that was already ailing her.
As Vanellope entered, she stopped short when she saw the gathering of the racers in her presidential hall. She'd been hoping to just go to her bedroom and cry in silence after the break up she'd just had with Ralph. Looks like she'd have to put on a good face a little while longer. Rubbing her eyes a bit to clear up the remaining moisture, the president made her best attempt to look normal and cheerfully greeted her guests, "Hey guys… what's milkshaking?"
"We uh... we gathered to address your behavior... as of late" Taffyta responded a bit nervously, trying to stay on track while she snuck sideways glances at Gloyd's hat on the floor, hoping the sound of her voice was enough to drown out its muffled protests.
"Oh... what behavior?" Vanellope asked innocently, though she was pretty sure she knew what they meant… she just didn't want to talk about it.
"We're worried for your sake as well as ours, that with the way you've been acting, you may be in need of a..." Taffyta blanked out; they really hadn't gotten this far in their discussions on what to do about Vanellope, but there wasn't any time to waste with the current 'situation' under Gloyd's hat. She had to think of something fast! Or goodness knows Vanellope might start asking questions, and Candlehead was sure to blurt. Sometimes Taffyta couldn't get over the irony that despite being the only one with a light atop their head, Candlehead wasn't anywhere near the brightest of the bunch. The girl seriously needed a doctor or something... "Yeah, a doctor, that's it!", she exclaimed, glad she now had something to say to Vanellope.
Vanellope cocked an eyebrow at Taffyta's strange words, and come to think of it, actions. She'd never seen Taffyta act that nervous since the day their game was reset after King Candy's dethroning. She had been just as nervous asking for forgiveness as she looked now. She began to assess the other racers; they too, looked rather uneasy. Well, Candlehead looked normal, but when had she ever not? It was then she noticed Gloyd crouched down to the floor, like he'd been caught in the act of picking up his hat when she walked in, and for some reason was under the impression that she'd behead him if he finished the act.
Following her gaze, Taffyta exclaimed, "Yes! We are all unanimously in agreement that you should see a doctor, right now! Right guys?"
The others chorused their agreement, and then the comment after made Taffyta's heart skip a beat.
"Wait, what doctor?" Candlehead asked naively.
"You know... THE doctor..." Taffyta prodded, making all sorts of eye signals at Candlehead in the hopes the clueless girl might actually get a clue and drop it. It's a good thing she didn't set her hopes too high, 'cause sure enough, Candlehead shot back, "Doctor who?"
"No, honey, you're getting confused." Snowanna piped in, trying to help Taffyta out, "Doctor Who only works on the British-manufactured games."
"Wait, which doctor?" Candlehead asked, which only led to Snowanna's confusion.
"No, it's not a witch doctor either…" Snowanna mumbled, glancing over at Taffyta with a look that said 'I'm sorry; I tried.'
Taffyta was at her wit's end, when Jubileena came to her rescue. "Why not go see the Muffin Man?" she offered.
"The Muffin Man?" Vanellope asked, only half paying attention. She was determined to find out why Gloyd was acting the most peculiar of all, and refused to take her eyes off his hat.
"What muffin man?" Candlehead chimed back in, making Taffyta cringe, but nonetheless she pressed on, addressing Vanellope exclusively, "Don't you know the Muffin Man?"
"Mmhmm, the one who lives on Cherry Lane?" Vanellope verified, craning her neck to get a better angled view on that hat.
"Is the Muffin Man made out of muffins?" Candlehead asked curiously.
"Why don't you take Vanellope there yourself and find out?" she practically hissed. A similar hiss was heard from Gloyd's direction.
Gloyd coughed in an attempt to cover up the noise, which only drew more attention to himself. "Maybe Gloyd should go instead, he sounds like he could be coming down with something himself." Vanellope offered.
"No!" Taffyta yelled in exasperation, then recomposed herself, "I mean, no... the president's health is more important and there's less than an hour left before Litwak's opens. So you and Candlehead should leave right now before the Muffin Man closes up shop!" Taffyta insisted, practically shoving them out the door.
"I'll go with you, it's right up my alley!" Jubileena said with a smile when Vanellope still looked reluctant. This way, she could ensure Vanellope didn't double back around.
Taffyta mouthed 'THANK YOU!' as Jubileena passed, to which Jubileena just gave a look that said 'You owe me big time'.
As soon as the door was closed, Gloyd picked up his hat and attempted to restrain the creature within.
"So… what is it?" Adorabeezle asked.
No one answered, since none of them had ever seen such a thing in Sugar Rush before. It was black and furry, four-legged and quite strong for its size, with two ears atop its head shaped like triangles, a long tail... and somehow, it was irresistibly adorable.
"I'm not sure, but for some reason I have the sudden urge to take pictures of it, write misspelled captions on them, and show them to all my friends… then eat a cheezburger." Crumbelina noted. A few others nodded their agreement.
"So... can we keep it?" Adorabeezle inquired hopefully.
Taffyta concluded the girl must be as crazy as Candlehead, but then she noticed that the others also held pleading looks on their faces. What was so captivating about this... thing? She took a second glance at the creature – her first mistake – and noticed that it was no longer mad and complaining. It apparently switched up its tactics like a game of good cop, bad cop, and was now in good cop mode. It was happily curled up like a baby, cradled in Gloyd's arms, looking rather... cute... and... irresistibly fluffy... so fluffy, she thought she might die. It was then she noticed it was emitting an odd sound, like the soft purring of an idling engine that just had a tune up and was running smoother than buttercream. She looked at the face of the creature and into its eyes – her second mistake – and felt she was being hypnotized by them. They were just so big and pleading... how could she say no?
Snapping out of it, Taffyta tried not to sound too won over when she announced "Oh, I guess so... but only until Vanellope gets back and we can discuss it with her!" She doubted very highly that the others heard her addendum, for they had erupted into a chorus of joy after the first part of her announcement.
"We have to name it!" Snowanna exclaimed.
"No, wait! You can't, you'll get too attached!" Taffyta protested, but was drowned out by the others shouting their approval.
"I've got the most experience, I should name it!" Minty shouted above the others.
"No way! You always pick the lousiest names!" Crumbelina accused.
"Do not!"
"Do too!"
"Do not!"
"In all fairness," Adorabeezle interrupted, "you –did- name your clones 'Torvald Batterbute' and 'Sticky Wipplesnit'."
"Oh, like yours was any better, Miss Nougestia Brumblestain's Original." Minty shot back, sticking her tongue out to heighten her insult.
"Hey! Nougestia is a noble name! My palette swap seemed to like it when I gave it to her..." Adorabeezle defended, trailing off as it occurred to her that Nougestia's thoughts were technically spawned from her own.
"I think we can all agree here that I have the most awesome name among all the racers, so I should have the best capacity to bestow a name worthy of this creature." The Great Swizzle Malarkey said all high and mighty. As one might predict, this led to a chorus of protests from the others, who all thought they too had the best name. Getting tired of all the ruckus, the creature began to fidget restlessly and meow in protest. Noticing this and going into overprotective momma mode, Taffyta yelled out over the din...
"SILENCE! You're scaring the poor thing!"
Grinning a smile of self-satisfaction at her success in gaining control over the now-quiet room, Taffyta continued, "Now, since you all can't make up your minds, I'll simply have to name it myself."
"But you've never once made and named a clone!" Minty protested.
"Of course not. I'm already perfect. If I cloned myself and allowed them to enter the roster, ya'll wouldn't stand a chance! It's only out of my great benevolence and mercy that I've spared you all the humiliation."
"Hah! I don't believe you're even capable of making your own clone!"
"Don't be silly, if the need ever does arrive, I've already got the design and name picked out."
"Well then prove it; let's hear it!"
"While she couldn't be quite as perfect as me – goodness knows perfection can't be duplicated – she would nearly be, with a pink lemonade theme to contrast my strawberry one. I would then bestow upon her the most regal of names..." She paused for dramatic effect; she smiled when she noted they all leaned in a little closer... "That name being: Lemona Lisa." Oooo that was good. The mood was SO dramatic, they were all struck dumb. She reveled in the silence, allowing their inferior minds to process the greatness of hers.
Snowanna couldn't take it anymore; she was the first to break the silence, "Pfffttttt HAHAHAHAHA!" She was soon joined by the others.
Taffyta stared in shock at their reaction, surely, their minds weren't that far gone that they'd laugh at the greatness of her idea.
"Lemona Lisa!" Gloyd exclaimed, "It sounds like the title of some boring piece of artwork only sour adults would like!"
"So are you sure this 'Muffin Man' is a qualified doctor?" Vanellope asked apprehensively, secretly hoping he might be certified in psychiatry, as that was the only kind of doctor she felt she needed right now. She was already thinking she must be crazy to push Ralph away like that. But on the same arcade-token... she'd been hurt more than uplifted by Ralph as of late, and she felt she might break if she didn't do something drastic to protect herself. Pushing him away seemed the best solution; out of sight, out of mind, right? She'd be happier this way, no longer getting her hopes up all the time. She'd been so preoccupied with said hopes, her mind was always full of thoughts of Ralph, and she felt she wasn't being fair to the others in her game. Leading them was supposed to be her job after all, maybe she should start taking it as seriously as Ralph took his. Oops, she was doing it again, letting Ralph dominate her thoughts.
"Oh sure! Every game has a doctor or two, and the Muffin Man is ours." Jubileena answered with a smile. When Vanellope didn't respond, Jubileena prodded further, "So... Do you wanna talk about it?"
"Hm?" Vanellope mumbled, shaking herself from deep thoughts once more. Aw swizzle-sticks, she did it again.
"You've been so pensive, it's like you're in your own little world; and unlike Candle's, yours doesn't seem to be very happy."
Why did her subjects have to be so perceptive? Vanellope took a moment to debate whether or not she should open up to Jubileena. Well, Jubileena had always been one of the sweetest racers... She had a trustworthy aura about her too, and had offered to personally show her where the Muffin Man lived. Sure, why not? Maybe opening up to her team mates more was part of her job too.
Jubileena listened attentively as Vanellope recounted the events of her little tiff with Ralph, nodding and prodding for how she felt from time to time. Maybe Jubileena should be the doctor of this game, at least the psychiatric one. This whole opening up thing was easier than she originally thought; she didn't even notice the time pass and was surprised when Jubileena announced, "Well, here we are!"
Vanellope glanced at Jubileena with a look of uncertainty as she raised her fist to knock on the doctor's door. When Jubileena gave her a reassuring nod, she rapped her knuckles on the door's surface, then immediately regretted it. The thing was harder than a jawbreaker! She stepped back a bit, taking in the sight of the house, which appeared to be made of cookie sheets and cupcake molds. She really should've noted that before sacrificing her knuckles.
"Hellloooooooooooooooo!" Candlehead called when the door didn't open immediately, then called excitedly, "What's that!?" She was pointing to the roof, so Jubileena and Vanellope followed her lead and gazed at the structure protruding from the roof. It was quite obviously a chimney stack, although why Candle didn't recognize it and found it so interesting, we may never know. Whatever the case, smoke was emanating from it, so someone must be at home...
"There's no way I'm knocking on that door again." Vanellope protested when Jubileena gave her a look that said, 'Well knock again; he's obviously home!'
"Oo! I'll do it!" Candlehead volunteered, running excitedly at the door.
"No, don't!" Vanellope and Jubileena called, afraid that a collision might cost Candlehead what precious brain cells she had left.
Candlehead was spared when the door opened the moment she would have made contact with it, which resulted in the poor owner of the house getting tackled to his own floor.
"Hi! Who're you and whatcha doin' on the floor?" Candlehead asked innocently.
"Uh… I'm Muffin Man, the doctor...?" he responded, still a little dazed as he looked up at his attacker.
"Oh! Are you made of muffins?"
He was planning on making some snide remark along the lines of 'You should know, you're sitting on me, after all', but by that time he had gotten a better look at the situation. Rather, he had gotten a better look at three rather cute guests, and that fact suddenly made him feel embarrassed to be on the floor and so undignified in their presence.
While he was trying to think of a way to regain a little pride, he studied the particular guest that had him pinned. As far as looks went, she was every bit as cute as every other avatar in the game, but there was a certain air about her that he couldn't put his finger on... But whatever it was, he found it endearing. Although... now the girl was glancing all about the interior of his house, getting pulled in any direction a shiny object was kept. There was definitely something different about this one... Breaking from his thoughts, Muffin Man addressed the other two 'normal' ones, hoping they'd be less distracted and easier to communicate with. "Your friend here – " he indicated the green-haired girl still pinning him - "appears to be... half-baked. I presume that's why you're here? I can stick her in the oven a few minutes."
Jubileena giggled, "Nooo, sir, her head was baked to a crisp long ago by the candle atop it."
"Besides," Vanellope piped in, "we all love Candlehead just the way she is." This sentiment brought the first real smile to her face that day since... no, she wouldn't fall into that trap again! She wouldn't let Ralph dominate her thoughts anymore. She was here, having a nice outing with Candlehead and Jubileena, and Ralph wasn't here to take that from her – not in body, not in her mind either.
"I see. So uh, Miss Candlehead, would you mind allowing me off the floor so I can properly greet my guests?"
"Hey! My name's 'Candlehead', or 'Candle', if you prefer, but not "Miscandlehead'! And I'm not going to let you up until you answer my question! Are you, or are you not, made out of muffins!?"
He nearly laughed at loud at her inquiry, but figured a belly-laugh wouldn't feel too great while the source of his amusement say upon it. "No, I'm not, Mis—I mean Candlehead." the doctor self-corrected, only letting a smile surface.
"Oh... So are you the doctor then?"
"Well, I am of British heritage, but I'm not THE doctor, by any means, Mi- Candle. Now will you please allow me to gain my footing?"
"Oh, you're no fun." Candlehead mused with a pout, reluctantly dismounting the doctor.
When the doctor was finally able to stand up, Vanellope studied his appearance, for she'd never met him before – another area of her job she'd been slacking on. She had been expecting an aged tall man, like the doctors the arcade kids talked about disdainfully. Apparently kids shouldn't like the doctor, but Vanellope was already thinking that she liked this one, for he had a pleasant personality and a kind face. He was of the same cookie-cutter avatar build as all the other racers of sugar rush, so he appeared to be the same age, with light skin and dark eyes and hair. He was sporting a tweed suit that looked like it was drizzled with caramel rather than woven with yarn, and had an unmistakable muffin top. That is, a large piece of head gear, similar in size to Glyod's pumpkin-head hat. The Muffin Man's muffin top was rather large, and made to look more like a baker's cap, which was probably appropriate since he had already offered to bake Candlehead.
"Ah, allow me to start over and properly introduce myself... with some dignity." the doctor stated, ending Vanellope's study of his appearance, "I am the Muffin Man, MMD." He gave a little bow and held a hand out to take Vanellope's, "...and to whom do I owe the pleasure?"
"Uh... I'm Vanellope...", she replied, suddenly feeling nervous and a bit flushed. Why had she never met this charming fellow before?
"Ah, Miss Vanellope, enchanted to make your acquaintance." With that, he planted a kiss on her hand before releasing it and resuming normal standing posture once more. "What can I do for you, Miss Vanellope, today?"
'You can do that again…' Vanellope thought; she had liked the way that felt. WAY better than how she felt earlier today, when she and Ralph had fought - Gingersnap! no more thinking of Ralph now!
Jubileena spared her the embarrassment of having to stammer for words and answered for her, "Vanellope has been distracted a lot lately and we were hoping you could take a look at her."
"I am looking at her, you don't need to ask me twice." he responded with a smirk, making Vanellope blush. Goodness, this was embarrassing.
"It could be a classic case of A.D.D., goodness knows this game has the sugar supply for it." he amended in all seriousness, as if he noticed he was making the president uncomfortable.
"What's an 'a-dee-dee'?" Candlehead asked, before getting distracted by some shiny baking utensils she just spotted on the table.
"Why, Miss Candle, you're a prime example of it." He laughed in response as she began to prod a mechanical egg beater. When she discovered she could make it 'whir', she excitedly grabbed it up and started running about while operating it, pretending she was a submarine or something or other. "I stand corrected... yours no doubt progressed to A.D.H.D. long ago!"
"I can prescribe some 'Batterall' to combat the symptoms." the doctor continued, turning to address his more attentive audience, "Though I must say, Miss Vanellope, you seem perfectly cognizant to me."
"...huh?" Vanellope responded, broken from another reverie... she'd been a little lost in his dark chocolate eyes.
At that moment, Candlehead came doubling back around on her little hand mixer rampage and knocked the poor doctor to the floor again.
Taffyta wasn't sure how long they'd been arguing, but they were getting nowhere. In the midst of the arguing, she thought she heard the sound of a door opening.
"Hey! It's getting away!" Gloyd announced, which stopped the arguing pronto.
The creature had seen its opportunity to escape the madness and was running towards a now open door where Rancis was entering to finally join their meeting – fashionably late.
"Close the doors!" Taffyta cried, but it was too late; the furball was between his legs and out the door before he had time to process her command.
"After it!" Swizzle battle cried, and Rancis had to dive out of the way before he was stampeded by six crazed racers.
Taffyta approached and offered a hand to help Rancis back on his feet, "You okay?"
"Yeah." He replied, though obviously a little miffed that his hair and outfit were all askew now, "What was that all about?"
"Uh, Candlehead found something... weird... in the royal cereal box."
"Really? It was in the royal cereal box? What would a kat want with cereal?"
"A... 'kat'? That's what it was?"
"Yeah, didn't you know?"
"I've never seen such a creature in Sugar Rush before."
"No, I don't think I have either, but as driver of the Kit Kat Kart, it's in my code to know. I assumed at least you and Vanellope would also have it in your code, being more forefront characters."
Taffyta was flattered,.Well, she knew her vast importance in this game, but most of the others didn't seem to get it as they mocked her choice of a color palette name. At least Rancis seemed to get that she was just as important as the president. "Want to help me investigate the damage on the royal cereal box?" she invited hopefully.
"Sure, why not? It'd be far more interesting to do that than going on a wild goose chase after a cat."
Interesting, he had said. Taffyta beamed and led him over to the display that held the royal cereal box.
Swizzle Malarkey led the charge, followed closely by Gloyd and the girls as they pursued the furry thing up the rainbow bridge. "It means to escape!" He cried, wishing there was some way to cut it off, but being that it was a bridge, that wasn't really possible. They pursued it all the way down the tunnel, hardly noticing that they were leaving their game in the process.
As soon as they emerged in grand central station, the fluffball did a 180 and stared them down, which was quite a feat for something a quarter of the height of the item it was staring down.
"Aw, you scared it!" Crumbelina cried, stepping toward it. "Come here, come to aunty Crumbelina..." she cooed.
"No! Ya'll come HERE!" The animal suddenly declared, though when Crumbelina blinked, she wasn't staring at an animal anymore, but a pair of shoes. When she looked up, she was looking into the face of a rather cross postal worker, who was now rolling up her sleeves. Some base instinct she couldn't explain told her to run, however she was too slow; they all were.
"Imma whoop ya'll good!" the lady declared menacingly, cracking her knuckles.
"Well, nothing seems to be wrong with it at least." Taffyta declared, turning the box over in her hands once more. As she flipped it around one last time to be sure, the top popped open.
"Wait! Let me see that." Rancis called, thinking he saw something. Once in his possession, he peered inside. No good, it was empty. Wait...
"Look here." he called to Taffyta, who seemed more than happy to lean in for a closer appraisal, "There's some writing on the inside."
"It says," Taffyta narrated, "Serial #2875473. What's that mean?"
"Come on, Candle, it's time to go!" Jubileena commanded, having difficulty getting the child-minded racer to part with her new muse. "And put that down; it belongs to the doctor!" She said as she pried the egg-beater from Candle's hands and placed it back on the table.
"Just five more minutes?" Candle pleaded, having too much fun to ever care to leave.
"I'm afraid the arcade will be opening soon and you and the other racers will need to be all the way back at the castle..." Muffin Man replied, walking right up to the distraught racer. "However, I'll make you a deal..." Candlehead seemed to perk up at the prospect, so he gently took her hands and opened them up, placing the egg beater inside the cradle they created. "I'll be busy with regular game maintenance, so I won't need this for a little while... but I'll definitely need it back within a few days, so be sure you come and visit me again to return it. Deal?"
Eyes wide with wonder and lips grinning from ear to ear, Candlehead enthusiastically gave the doctor a hug before rushing out the door with her new toy, no doubt hoping to make the most of what little time was left before Litwak's opened for the day and she'd have to put it away. Jubileena and Vanellope quickly followed so as to not be left behind.
"Good day, girls! DO come again." The Muffin Man called, waving at the threesome from his doorstep. He meant it, too. He hadn't had that much entertainment in awhile.
"Oh I plan to, Stinkface!" Vanellope called giddily, then immediately regretted it; the doctor looked positively appalled at her sudden potty mouth.
"Well, I never!" he huffed at the insulting address, and withdrew into his house.
"He's not really your type anyway, Vanellope." Jubileena soothed, noting Vanellope's downcast expression.
It occurred to the president that deep down she already knew this, so why had she allowed herself to entertain the thoughts she had? After a couple minutes, it finally dawned on her; it was just the attention. She liked the attention he had suddenly given her, when she had gone so long without any. It really was for the best she cut ties with Ralph; why waste time on someone who never had time for her? She had to find herself some friends she didn't have to beg for attention from... She may as well start with Jubileena.
"Hey Juby, after Litwak's closes for the evening, do you wanna go for a swim in a root beer float? I was thinking we could all use a little fun after all this trouble."
"Sure, I'd love to! Candlehead will no doubt love to try out her new toy to make herself into a motorboat or something!" Jubileena consented, pointing to a rather excited Candlehead, who was still enthralled with her new egg beater.
. : : Meta-Data : : .
. Developer's Notes .
I'm going to really need to start cutting back on word counts, they've gotten longer and longer as the story's taken off... will just have to start splitting up chapters I suppose!
. Player Responses .
CraftyKeronian – Haha yes, I cried while writing the chapter… twice. I'm so cruel to them…
. Cheat Codes! .
A word about the opening blip... I wanted to make it reminiscent of a linux terminal, since I wanted to display that direct 'connection' with the computer for this 'game' experience. Same thing goes with the whole 'referring to the author as the developer' thing. Yeah, it's cheesy... so shoot me. Not sure if any of you particularly care, but if you were wondering what some of the linux elements were, then here ya go... I originally wanted to mimic the prompt, but unfortunately fanfiction doesn't allow things like at symbols and left and right arrow brackets, so I ended up just doing a simple "User:[username] - " prompt, which looks nothing like a linux prompt... sadness. However, you may have noticed that 'zepuka' (i.e. myself, the author, the developer) is prefixed with 'sudo-'. Sudo literally means 'super user do', and in a nutshell, its purpose is to enable administrator actions. So to make up for not being able to format the username in a prompt, I just threw in that designator to indicate that the administrator/developer/author was the one talking. Other linux-y goodness: pkill and bash are both commands that can roughly translate for all you GUI /windows users to exiting out of a program by clicking the 'x' and starting up a program by double-clicking it. Roughly... it's actually more complicated and different than that, but I don't have time for a full linux lesson, nor do I expect most of you to be interested in one... but if by chance you are linux-savy yourself, please don't nit-pick.. I threw it in for a bit of geekt fun, so I didn't jump through hoops to make it all semantically correct.
Fun-ish fact: Yes, I am a developer. No, I'm not a linux-guru. I'd LIKE to be, but linux hates me... no really, you have NO idea how many kernel panics I managed to create in Operating Systems class... and I've tried and failed to configure Ubuntu several times... once I tried to set up the 3D box workspace GUI... and managed to completely delete Gnome... could only use the virtual terminals after that... okay, I'll stop rambling, I doubt anyone cares anyway...
"Don' you be telling 'em 'bout no cake; it's a LIE!" - A reference to 'The cake is a lie', from the game "Portal"
"The day their game was reset after King Candy's dethroning" - Refers to the end of the movie when the citzens get their memories back and taffyta and the others beg Vanellope for forgiveness for teasing her. Vanellope jokingly responds that they will be mercifully executed, resulting in the racers' panic and Taffyta's mascara running.
"Doctor who? ... British-manufactured games." - Honestly, I don't know why I put this one here... if you didn't get the BBC's Doctor Who reference, then you need to stop reading this fanfiction and Google it, watch an episode or two, now! ...What are you waiting around for!? Go!
"...The Muffin Man... ...The Muffin Man... ...muffin man... ...Don't you know the Muffin Man... ...who lives on Cherry Lane?" - A reference / pun to the nursery rhyme "Do you know the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man. Do you know the muffin man who lives on Drury lane?"
"I have the sudden urge to take pictures of [the cat], write misspelled captions on them, and show them to all my friends… then eat a cheezburger" - Reference to icanhazcheezburger, where countless cat pictures are posted with misspelled captions that are usually funny... or just plain stupid.
"So fluffy, she thought she might die" - Reference to Agnes' line in Despicable Me, "It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!"
"Lemona Lisa! It sounds like the title of some boring piece of artwork only sour adults would like!" - A reference one of the most famous pieces of artwork ever... The Mona Lisa.