After something like two years of convincing himself Daisy was not an attractive woman, but rather a very slender man wearing a lady suit, Daisy says, "Let's chuck all your hard work in the bin and start making babies."
Those weren't her exact words, she had suggested they go on a date, but it meant the same thing. No matter how the evening went, they would be changed forever.
Tim knows exactly what Daisy thinks of every item in his wardrobe, so he definitely has to go shopping for new clothes. He doesn't want to look like he's trying too hard, but he also doesn't want to hear Daisy say, "Good, Tim. You don't want to look like you're trying too hard."
He considers asking Twist for advice, but after imagining himself in a man corset, neckerchief and stacked heels, he decides to ask Marsha instead.
He regrets his decision a bit when Marsha bursts into tears.
"I'm sorry, Tim. I know I'm just your weird old landlady, but I think of you as the son I never had and Daisy is like the daughter I always wanted."
"Well, you do have Amber..."
"I said the daughter I wanted, not the demon I was blessed with," Marsha explains. "Don't get me wrong, Tim, Amber is the pride and joy of my life, but I could just wrap my hands around her little neck and squeeze..."
"So a tie or no...?"
"Trust me, Daisy doesn't care what you wear," Marsha promises, looking misty-eyed again. "What the two of you have is special. I've never known a happier couple. Even before you were a couple."
"Thanks, Marsha. You're right. Why am I acting like this is a first date? Daisy and I have history. We don't need to worry about, 'Oh, am I dressed right? Do I need a tie?' What matters is we're together."
Tim stands up feeling calm and confident.
"Oh, Tim..." Marsha calls as he heads for the door. "Maybe a tie. And a little hair cut. And maybe you could give your natural hair color another try? It can't be as bad as all that."
"Is that all?" Tim asks sarcastically.
"You're a very handsome young man," Marsha assures him with a pat on the arm. "If I were fifteen years younger, I'd fancy you myself."
"Thanks, Marsha. If I were fifteen years older..." Tim stops when he realizes "My sex dreams about you wouldn't be so disturbing," is not a socially appropriate statement.
"Go on!" Marsha waves Tim away with a blush. "Have a wonderful time with Daisy."
"I think I will."
"And Tim?" Marsha calls, reaching into her purse.
"Yes?" Tim asks, suddenly terrified she will offer him a johnny.
"Here's a nice little moisturizer for your face," she explains as she holds out a jar. "It makes me look half-decent, it should be able to handle your problem areas."
xxx
Tim is a bit dodgy on the rules of dating a flat mate. Normally, it's three dates until sex, but it seems like the first two years of living together should count as at least one date. After all, he and Daisy already had something of a date. It was literally a disaster and Tim didn't know it was a date until he found Daisy looking like Medusa and surrounded by smoke... but they did kiss. By Tim's calculations, it should be perfectly acceptable to make a move.
"You can't rush things with Daisy," Mike warns him as Tim tries to remember how to tie a tie. Mike knows how to make several knots, and while they might be excellent for supporting a mountain climber or keeping a boat docked, they don't look right on a tie.
"I'm not rushing things! We've been living together for ages."
"As friends! There's a big difference between being a friend and being in a romantic relationship," Mike insists. "The blue of this shirt really brings out your eyes, Tim. A man could get lost in those pools of blue."
"Thanks, babe. Daisy and I are modern people. We aren't hung up on tradition or romance. Daisy certainly isn't. We have a whole routine in place for me to help her figure out the names of the blokes that come out of her bedroom after a tequila binge," Tim explains with a fond smile.
"But this isn't some crazy fling. This is forever," Mike reminds him. "Daisy is going to be the person you wake up to for the rest of your life! The last woman you'll ever sleep with. Ever. You'll be holding her hair when she has morning sickness, and working day and night to support the kids and you'll need to buy a house in a nice neighborhood..."
Tim covers his ears and sings, "Na, na, na, na, Batman!"
Mike doesn't so much take the hint as get caught up in doing the Batusi, but at least he's not going on about Tim's future. Tim wants children. Theoretically. In the distant future. After he's hit that point he assumes people suddenly reach where they are tired of being free and independent. And well-rested.
xxx
Daisy looks amazing. It's clear that no one helped her get ready, because she actually looks like Daisy, just a bit cleaned up. Her hair is loose and bouncy looking and she has done the trick that women do where you know they're wearing make-up but you can't quite tell where or how much. Daisy simply looks a little brighter than usual.
"Daisy, you look..." Tim instinctively imagines Daisy's form-fitting frock on Mike before remembering he can actually enjoy looking at Daisy now. For all the terrifying possibilities of being a romantic couple, finally being able to look at Daisy as a girl is a big bonus.
"Well?" Daisy prompts expectantly.
"Your tits look amazing," Tim says sincerely, putting his hands up to block Daisy's punches before she's even raised her arms. He takes his pummeling before telling her she looks beautiful.
"You look good, too. I can tell Mike dressed you," Daisy points out as she looks Tim up and down. "He really has a thing for your eyes."
"He always has," Tim agrees, fondly remembering the many times Mike has commented on his piercing orbs of blue.
"So do I," Daisy says softly.
Tim gives her a quick, but (hopefully) romantic kiss. Daisy looks flustered.
"This is so strange!" she squeals. "You and me, on a date. Being romantic. What if this is all a terrible mistake?"
Tim feels calm in the face of her panic, "We'll see where things go. If it doesn't work out, then we'll just go back to being friends."
"Friends who've seen each other naked," Daisy points out.
"That's never caused a problem for me and Mike."
Daisy thinks it over.
"Good point. Now, don't start getting ideas about tonight," Daisy warns him. "I'm wearing a lot of shapewear to make this dress look good. No one is getting in my knickers without wire cutters and good three hours of hard labor."
xxx
They don't sleep together after their first date, or their second date. (Daisy adamantly vetoes counting living together or pizza and a kiss as dates.) Their first time together does not follow a date at all. They were supposed to go out, but Daisy's allergies were acting up and she refused to go out a date with bloodshot eyes and her nose giving Rudolph's competition in the red and glowing department. They order out for Chinese and curl up on the couch for an X-files marathon. During the pilot, Daisy accuses Tim of "checking out" Scully in her bra and knickers.
"I was not checking out..." Tim begins before realizing it's a pointless approach, "Of course, I was checking her out! She's half naked. You were checking her out as well."
Daisy laughs and agrees that Gillian Anderson is sexy as hell. Then she kisses Tim.
"What was that for?"
Daisy blushes and pulls a face, "Just for being you."
"C'mere, Pickle," he says, holding out his arm. Daisy snuggles into his side.
"Oh, fuck it," Daisy sighs. "I'm not waiting for another date."
Before Tim can ask what she means, she has him flat on his back on the couch and he's forgotten all about Gillian Anderson. That's when he knows for sure that he's in love.
xxx
"Why on earth did we wait so long to do this?" Daisy asks as she tries fruitlessly to blow smoke rings.
"I was still getting over Sarah when we met," Tim reminds her, struck by how little he feels when he thinks about Sarah. He'd thought that pain would never recede.
"And I was dating Roger," adds Daisy.
"His name was Richard."
Daisy looks ready to argue, but just laughs and admits, "He wasn't very memorable. Not like you, Tom."
Tim was trying to think of a snappy comeback when Colin came barking at the door. When Tim lets Colin in the room, he immediately jumps on the bed, sits in front of Daisy, and growls at Tim. He and Daisy have truly been a couple for years, they just refused to acknowledge it. They even have a furry child together.
And the little bastard already has an Oedipal complex.