It was one of those days. She had wanted to turn him down because she simply wasn't in the mood for a date, but she couldn't think of a perfect excuse when he had asked her. She hadn't had a date in what seemed like an eternity and that only made her anxiety increase.

'I've absolutely nothing to wear…' she thought to herself and flung open her colossal, heavily stocked wardrobe and groaned in despair. She grabbed a brown skirt, inspected it for a few seconds before tossing it to the side with a headshake. 'No, that's hideous.'

She found a pair of designer jeans and held them up. 'No, definitely not. Too casual!' She buried her head in her hands and let out an odd sound – a mixture of a moan and a scream of frustration. She was meeting Adam at the restaurant in an hour and she wanted to show herself from her best side – even if she didn't really want to go.

It took her almost 45 minutes to rifle through the heaps of expensive skirts, dresses, jeans and the uncountable heaps of shirts and blouses on her quest for the perfect outfit. Time was getting short and so she decided on a short, figure hugging black dress, knee high boots and a black leather jacket. After getting dressed in a blink of an eye, she tried to tame her hair and with a last look into the mirror, she grabbed her purse and hurried out of the apartment.

When she got to the front door, she suddenly stopped. She looked through the glass doors and saw that it was pouring outside.

"Damn! Why?" she cursed and clutched her purse tighter to her chest. She needed to hail a cab if she was going to be on time for her date. It was going to be hard to hail a cab on a busy Friday night while the sky had opened up its floodgates. She stepped outside and was hit full force by driving rain.

"Taxi!" she shouted as a cab rumbled past her and another yellow car flew by, bullet-like drops of water hit her face and she already regretted not having rejected his offer to go on a date. It was impossible to pretend that she wasn't drenched. She sighed and waved her hand frantically in a last desperate attempt to get one of New York City's many cabs to stop. Finally one cab driver showed sympathy and stopped right next to her. She sighed with relief, told the driver her destination and ignored his attempt to start a conversation.

'I am Rachel Berry, famous Broadway star. But there's a world outside Broadway and I need to socialize once in a while. I will have fun ... okay, at least I will get some good food!' She couldn't really fool herself, Broadway had been her life. But she was exhausted. She had a show almost every night and on weekends even some afternoon matinees. All she did was work and the feeling of excitement and contentment of a performance was long gone. She wanted more, she needed more. Her private life had fallen by the wayside over the last years. She had dated a lot of men over the last years, some rich and successful ones, some not so successful ones. At the end of the day, they were just plain old frogs, even if they had disguised themselves as Prince Charming. Fairy tale endings might exist, but not in her life.

She had known Adam for quite a while now. Adam was down-to-earth and the most normal person she had met since high school. He was funny, kind and charming, but something was missing. She had tried to tell herself that I might change over the time, but it didn't. Well, at least, not yet. That was the reason why she had agreed on today's get-together.

The cab came to a stop, she paid the driver, got out and hurried her way to the restaurant. The doorman opened the door for her and she saw Adam waiting at one of the tables.

"Wow!" was all that Adam could generate when he saw her. "You … you look really pretty."

She felt herself blush slightly at his compliment. Maybe she could learn to love him, there was still a chance.

Adam had jumped up from his place and offered her a seat. She sat down and the waiter arrived with the menus. She flicked through the menu and looked over to the waiter so she could place her order and break the uncomfortable silence.

Adam had already ordered some red wine and while waiting on their food they talked about this and that, nothing in particular. Adam was broker on Wall Street and his usual topic was what not to do nowadays and where not to invest. When dinner arrived, they were talking about Rachel's career, but not for long, because she just didn't feel like talking about it and she subtly changed the topic to money investments. Adam maundered on about it and while she was listening, her eyes wandered off to the front window where she observed the people passing by. There was a group of students that danced around and laughed, and an elderly man who tried to bring his groceries to safety, a dog walker who tried to persuade the dogs not to stop at every fireplug along the street. Suddenly her eyes caught sight of a person that looked more than familiar fighting against the gusty wind, but before she could focus her eyes, the person was already out of sight.

'No way, this wasn't her. There is no way that she could possibly be her?' she thought to herself, her eyes must have deceived her. She shook her head absentminded and was pulled out of her thoughts forcefully when she heard her name.

"Rachel? … Rachel! What's wrong?" Adam looked at her puzzled.

"What? Why?" she stuttered, still stuck in her memories.

"I was asking you a question and you suddenly had a look on your face like a deer in the headlights."

"Sorry, I was … distracted. Well, ahem, what did you ask me?" She looked at him sheepishly.

He reached out and grabbed her hand holding it tight. Rachel jumped at the sudden contact and looked down at the hand.

"What … what are you doing?" she asked slightly confused.

"Are you in?" He looked at her with a questioning look.

"Errr … Come again?" She desperately tried to recall the last part of his speech, but she couldn't.

"I wanted to know if you'd like to be my plus one at a vernissage at the Guggenheim next Saturday? With a little party afterwards at some fancy club?"

He was really cute when he was insecure, maybe they would have a chance? But her amicable feeling towards him couldn't override the fact that Rachel's head was somewhere else. Her mind was still stuck on the image of the person she saw before.

"Rachel?!" he said decisively. "Can I take your silence as a 'No'?"

"No, no, I … need to check with my assistant if I am off or if I can get my understudy to perform. Can I tell you later this week?"

"Yeah, sure. No problem. Uuh, look at these two over there. They are practically eating each other's face!" he subtly changed the topic of their conversation.

Rachel turned around and instantly turned back, her face blushing. "Oh my God, they should definitely get a room!"

From then on they had a nice talk over dinner, just catching up on each other's lives. The food was good and they shared a bottle of wine, and another one. And the evening turned out far better than she had expected. When it was almost midnight, they said their goodbyes, she promised to check her schedule and they both left into different directions.

Rachel had decided to walk, the storm had passed and it was a wonderful September evening. The scent of rain filled the air and thunder rumbled in the distance. She walked past illuminated shop windows and enjoyed the coolness of the night. When she had almost reached her home, something caught her eye. It was small flower shop with a beautifully decorated shop window and in its center was a gorgeous white flower with shiny leaves. She stopped and gazed at the flower in front of her.

'Wow, this is so beautiful!' she thought when an almost forgotten memory hit her. She had seen this flower before and she vividly remembered the occasion all of a sudden. In her mind's eye she saw a beautiful white gardenia with shiny leaves bound in a corsage and wrapped around a wrist. A faint smile appeared on her face and she let out a deep sigh. It was the second time this day that she was reminded of her past. She shook her head and continued her way home.

When she reached her apartment building soon after, she greeted the doorman with a smile, took the elevator up to her apartment and unlocked her door. After entering her place, she silently closed the door, kicked her shoes into the corner and took off her jacket.

It had definitely been a nice evening she had to admit to herself. Adam was such a nice guy, funny and considerate, but … . There was always a 'but'. Nice just wouldn't do. She wasn't in it with all her heart and soul and she knew that. Adam was perfect, but not for her and she didn't want to harm her friendship with him. She would probably break his heart and he would always wonder what had gone wrong. The path behind her was paved with broken hearts and she felt really guilty for that. They all wanted some kind of an explanation for the break-up, but she couldn't give them one. 'It's me, I'm just not ready for somebody as nice as you.' was her usual answer and they accepted that without asking any further questions.

But she knew it was her. It was not as if she didn't want to let them in, she just couldn't. Her heart was broken a while back and it hadn't healed ever since. At least a big part would always belong to one person and it had taken her a long time to realize and accept it, maybe too long. She still felt a sting in her heart when she thought about how everything had turned out.

She wasn't sure if this feeling would ever go away. She exhaled softly and looked at herself in the mirror. Shaking her head, she headed towards the bathroom and got ready for bed. When she entered her bedroom, she noticed that had left in total chaos. She picked up the pile of clothes on her bed and moved everything to an empty chair. When she turned around, she saw that she had dropped a piece of garment on the floor. She bent down and picked it up and was thunderstruck.

'This can't be. Come on, what are the chances?' she thought. Her past tended to catch up with her once in a while, but three times on the same day? She brought the scarf to her nose, closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, drinking in the scent. It still smelled like oranges and sandalwood, something Rachel would always associate with this one person that had stolen her heart a long time ago.

Rachel got ready for bed quickly and snuggled up into her blankets. I didn't take long and she fell asleep to a wonderful dream.

It was the summer after high school, and it was her and Quinn and a road trip she would never forget ...

xxxxxx

Please feel free to review ;) The song this chapter is based on: I'm through - Ingrid Michaelson