Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Carolyn's Point Of View

I play Jack's words over and over in my mind, wondering how it would be possible to do. He had been so kind and comforting and had told me that he would call with news when he could.

"…just try and act normal around Derek and the girls today. I promise I will call you the moment I find something. Do not call me Carolyn," Jack warned me. "You have my word that I will call you. Try and have a nice day with your children."

How the hell am I supposed to do that? How do I act like nothing has happened or nothing is going to happen? Those children that are currently sitting in the dining room, munching on the breakfast feast I've cooked are my whole world and when one of them hurts, I hurt. If my suspicions are confirmed then the pain Derek is already going through will only get worse. My biggest worry will be how he reacts to this. Understandably he will not cope well and once again, his heart will be broken.

As for the girls…well, the girls are not going to take this too well either.

And then there's the other girl I consider a daughter; whose pain I felt but highly underestimated because I never fully understood why she left and I suppose I won't be able to fully understand until Jack finds the evidence I know in my heart to be true. However, even then, I won't be able to understand what she's going through and what she went through until she's home for her to tell me herself.

"…just try and act normal around Derek and the girls today…"

"…Try and have a nice day with your children…"

Is it wrong to say that, that does not feel possible? How can I possibly behave in a 'normal' manner?

I can here commotion going on around the dining room table. Derek must have told them that he has broken it off with Rachel. By the sounds of things, the girls were not taking it well.

"You were here when she said what she did to mom!" I hear Derek bark. Who was disagreeing with his decision?

"I'm just saying…." Nancy starts.

"I don't want to hear it Nancy!" Derek shouts. "Rachel and I are well and truly over."

"Yes, but…" Nancy tries to argue her point.

"You know, I can't believe you Nancy," Amelia interjects. "She was vile to Mum and to Meredith."

Silence.

Oh Amelia. Why did you have to mention Meredith at a time like this?

"Meredith gave as good as she got," Derek murmurs. I can sense my son's pain as he speaks. I know I should go in there and help but I find myself glued to the spot in the kitchen.

"Not always," Amelia retaliates quietly.

What the hell does she mean by that? She's never said anything to me about Meredith and Rachel.

"What do you mean by that?" Kathleen asks, sounding intrigued. Now Kathleen is going to put her god damn shrink cap on and aggravate everybody at the table. I should go in and help but why don't I want to?

"Meredith always gave as good as she got. In fact, sometimes Meredith didn't exactly help herself," Derek explains defensively. I can tell he's agitated. Hopefully, somebody has the good sense to change the subject. No…instead they seem to want to push through it. This is going to lead to an argument. I know it will.

Amelia scoffs at Derek's response.

"And you act as if I am being inappropriate?" I hear Nancy ask with a laugh. "What has gotten into you?"

"Nothing," Amelia responds. "I…It's just…I never liked Rachel."

"I think we should change the subject," Sophie interjects neutrally.

That's my girl. Get them off this topic. Today needs to be light hearted and happy – well as happy as we can make it.

"No, no," Derek murmurs. "I think Amy has something to say. Amy?"

"Mom?" Sophie calls. "Are those bagels ready?"

"Just a second!" I call back.

"Amy?" Derek asks in a warning tone.

"It's nothing," Amelia whispers apologetically. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply…"

"Yes you did," Derek interrupts her. "You've said it now Amelia, so there is no point in trying to wish it away. What did you mean? What didn't I know about Meredith and Rachel?"

I quickly grab the toasted bagels, fling them on a plate and grab the fresh pot of coffee before I walk into the dining area to find Sophie greeting me with a grateful/slightly awkward smile. Kathleen and Nancy are staring at Amelia with a questioning look while Derek is staring a helpless looking Amelia down.

"Derek? Why don't you have a fresh bagel?" I ask lightly, trying to get him to look at me instead of Amelia. Surely he can see how stricken she looks. Mind you, she doesn't help herself. That girl is all about acting first and thinking later. However, that is exactly why Meredith and Amelia got along so well.

"Amelia?" I'm not going to ask you again," he reprimands. "What did you mean by that?"

"It is nothing Derek," she whispers, emphasising every word. I stand and watch four of my children staring at my youngest and wonder what I can do to help.

"It didn't sound like nothing," Nancy answers smartly. If she wasn't my daughter, I would slap her for that. I know that sounds wrong and I do love her but she really didn't help in situations like these. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Don't get me wrong, my daughter is not a cold person. It's just that she is not the type to wear her heart on her sleeve. The change in Nancy is undeniable. She changed when she left her husband after the affair. Things were getting better for her though – that was until Meredith went missing. I know she doesn't only feel anger towards Meredith but for some reason it is the only emotion she is willing to show.

"I just…I…it was always obvious that Meredith and Rachel didn't get along," Amelia shrugs as she starts to cut up the pancakes on her plate.

"They really didn't," Sophie agreed. "Mind you, I struggled to get along with her at times," she continues as she pours fresh coffee into everybody's mugs.

"We all did," Kathleen asserts, sipping her coffee as she watches her brother staring at Amelia with a look of sheer determination to find answers.

"I didn't," Nancy argues.

"Liar," Amelia, Sophie and Kathleen scoff together.

"It's more than that," Derek responds, knowing full well she is holding back. "Please, Amelia. Just tell me."

Amelia looks at me and I give her a small smile to continue. Normally I wouldn't but the problem is that she started and they all had her cornered.

"I think what Amelia is trying to say…"

"Please mom," Derek pleads, finally looking at me. He hasn't been able to do that all morning. He's been too embarrassed since I walked in on him moaning in his sleep. "Amelia is an adult so if she's capable of making comments then I'm pretty sure she's capable of answering a simple question."

He turns back to face a stunned looking Amelia. I don't need to be able to read her mind to know what she, Kathleen, Nancy and Sophie are thinking. Derek has never spoken to me the way he just has.

Never.

"Do you remember how Meredith used to keep her distance and it would really frustrate you?" Amelia asks him gently.

"Yeah," Derek sighs. "Because of Rachel."

"What do you mean because of Rachel?" I ask. "You never told me this."

"It wasn't a big deal ma," he murmurs softly. "Meredith went through a funny stage where she kept her distance because she did not like Rachel…"

"Typical," Nancy scoffs, playing with the food on her plate, obviously having lost her appetite.

"…but I talked it through with her and we sorted things out. I warned her that if she wanted to be my friend then she would have to accept Rachel and she agreed," Derek explains quietly.

I know the topic of conversation is hard for him but he is coping incredibly well.

"These circumstances are always hard," Kathleen chimes in. "Especially on the best friend who has played a huge part in your life. Sometimes it can feel like they're being cast aside by the new girlfriend. It's a completely normal occurrence in a friendship like yours and Meredith's. Plus, there's the fact Meredith had abandonment issues…."

"Yeah, I don't think Mer's issues were the problem," Amelia whispers.

"How do you mean?" Derek asks curiously.

"I mean that the issue wasn't your relationship with Rachel. It was your relationship with Meredith," Amelia sighs, looking at her brother guiltily. "Meredith wasn't the one with the problem Derek. Rachel was."

"I don't understand," Derek stutters, looking rather confused. "That can't be right Amelia."

"Derek…."

Derek looks outraged by the possibility and lets it show. "Why was Meredith the one keeping her distance then?" Derek demanded.

"You want to know why Derek?" Amelia asks with a heartbroken expression. "Because you're so called girlfriend threatened her."

"What?" All five of us ask at once. Anybody outside listening in would be convinced we have a bloody parrot.

`"Derek, I know you've had a difficult night and this is the last thing you want to hear. I should have kept my mouth shut and for that I'm sorry," Amelia says sincerely. "I was at Meredith's about a year and a half ago when Rachel came barging in to the house. I was in the kitchen so she didn't know I was there…"

"This would be the weekend you were here to visit me and Meredith?" Derek asks quietly.

"Yes, it was. We were in the house drinking and like I said, I was in the kitchen so thankfully Rachel didn't know I was there," Amelia started, as I finally took my seat at the table. "She went on and on about how Meredith controlled your strings and how much she must have loved being in control of her little Derek puppet…"

"What? I was never…"

"I know Derek. She told Meredith that you were hers now and there was no way she would allow some two-faced, average looking whore ruin things between the two of you. Meredith couldn't get a word in edge ways," Amelia explains.

"How did she threaten her though?" Nancy asks bluntly, not looking the least bit convinced by Amelia's words.

Sophie gives me a strange look as if I might be able to stop this. Does she know what Amelia is about to spill?

"You know Amelia…." Sophie starts.

Derek holds up his hand for Sophie to stop talking. "Let her talk," he murmurs quietly.

"Her father was the Mayor at the time," Amelia whispers, apologetically- obviously, uncomfortable by the topic. "She made sure to emphasise the point that her family had friends in high places and all it would take is one phone call from her to make sure Meredith's career was over as well as being able to make sure her life was made a living hell."

Before I even have a chance to process what Amelia has said, Derek gets up from the table and storms out, leaving the rest of us staring at his retreating back. I would call out after him like the girls do but I know there is no point. He needs time.

Shit!

If Rachel threatened Meredith like that then that means….

I'm right. I have to be.

And if so, then Meredith Elizabeth Grey – I am coming to find you!