Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

THANK YOU for all your encouragement after the last update. I hope you are all able to enjoy this one just as much and I beg you ALL to comment because this is the update that will shock you all.

Derek's Point of View

I still feel unusually weird. I felt it when I woke up this morning but the feeling hasn't disappeared yet, which I thought it would. The feeling didn't stop me eating breakfast with Mark, Amy, Naomi, Sam and Addison though. It didn't stop me from operating on Lisa an hour later and it didn't stop me celebrating with Amy afterwards by taking her for some double cream vanilla ice cream with sprinkles; which was strangely delicious.

I finally got to meet her boyfriend Sheldon last night when Mark and I took them to dinner. I hate to admit it but I like the guy. He isn't Amy's usual type but I like that. Mark isn't so sure of him – especially when it comes to his profession. However, we should be used to the shrink talk with Kathleen in the family. Although Mark seems to think that one shrink in the family is enough. Right now though, all I care about is that he makes Amy happy. He can make her smile and even though I can still catch a glance of sadness in her eyes, it means that he is able to make her smile through hard times. How could he not be good for my little sister right now?

Addison and Sam told me this morning that they are a great couple together. However, I was more surprised watching them as a couple. I can honestly say they are great together. I expected to feel weird about that but I don't because they oddly fit together. I approached the subject with great caution last night when I had a chance to speak with Naomi on her own and I asked her how she was dealing with it. She told me that some days were harder than others. She can't deny that it hasn't put a big strain on her friendship with Addison but they're working through it.

It has been nice, getting away from Seattle, catching up with Amy, Sam and Naomi. I would even go as far as saying that it has been nice catching up with my ex-wife. Although, I should probably refer to her as Sam's girlfriend now. Maybe that's why I am feeling weird today but then if I felt weird about that then surely I would fee weird around them?

What I did feel weird about was watching Naomi and Sam as grandparents to a beautiful Olivia. Watching Mia as a mom, at sixteen, was strange to me. Not for any other reason than the fact the last time I seen her, I was laughing at Sam trying to pleat her hair for school. It was such a long time ago now. Hard to believe how far we've all come. Or should I say how far they've all come? When I sat back and watched them all, they all have something going on in their lives. Amy has Sheldon, Sam has Addison and Naomi has boyfriend drama as well as dealing with her ex-husband hooking up with her best friend, on top of dealing with becoming a grandmother. Mark and I were sitting in the corner like two loners. That part felt awful.

I can't deny that I haven't thought about Meredith today. I have. Although thinking about her feels different somehow. Yesterday was horrible because I was convinced that jogger was her. Somehow, it not being her though, as horrible as it was, made me face up to the fact I will probably never find her. I thought I'd know in my heart if Meredith was dead. Maybe I just convinced myself of that. However, watching everyone yesterday and today made me realise that I can't put my life on hold any longer. I need to keep living and maybe, just maybe, if she is still alive, she'll find my mom or one of my sisters and they will be able to tell her the truth. Then I will be able to pull her into my arms and tell her all will be okay.

I have to find a way to deal with the possibility that it may never happen though. It still feels impossible not to look to the future and not see her in it. Maybe I should do what addicts do- take it one day at a time. After all, I suppose it could be interpreted that I became obsessed with Meredith like alcoholics become obsessed with alcohol.

"I still don't get what you're doing with him Amelia," I hear Mark groan from the back seat.

"He makes her happy Mark," I sigh as I glance at Amy's face. Oh yeah, Mark's pushed her button's.

"Thank you Derek," She smiles, before the pissed off expression comes back over her face. "What the hell is wrong with him Mark?"

"He's…"

"Tread carefully Mark," I warn lightly. "Tread carefully," I repeat. Amy will eat him alive if he says anything more to piss her off.

"He's not what you usually go for," Mark shrugged. "And there's something about him that I can't quite put my finger on…Oh wait a minute, I get it," he suddenly laughs. "He's gay!"

"Mark," I groan loudly, knowing where this is going. Mark has being going on about Sheldon all morning but despite Naomi, Addison's and Sam's assurances, he still thinks he's not good enough for Amy.

"Mark!" Amy admonishes with shock. "You are unbelievable," she mutters. "You know I shouldn't be surprised that you're behaving like this! You'll have to excuse me if I don't take relationship advice from a man whore though," she giggles lightly.

One thing you learn in our family, very quickly, is that you cannot take Mark seriously in the slightest.

"Maybe Mark fancies him," I joke causing Amy to laugh hysterically.

"Hey!" Mark shouts from the back. "That was uncalled for," he huffs, leaning back against the back seat with a pouty expression. I swear he is worse than a five year old at times.

"I did catch a lot of secret glances being sent Sheldon's way at dinner last night," Amelia giggles making me laugh. Winding Mark up can be so much fun, especially when he stupidly takes the bait.

"They were looks of boredom," Mark snorts. "That man has the power to put anyone to sleep. I'm guessing he's convinced himself he is awesome at hypnotherapy."

"He is very good at it," Amelia whispers defensively. I can tell by the way her brow is creasing that Mark has got to her which only means she really has fallen for Sheldon.

"Amelia, the patients will be pretending to sleep just in order to drown him out," Mark laughs.

"Enough Mark," I warn before Amelia retaliates.

"I'm just saying," he murmurs.

"Yeah, well don't," she whispers defensively as she parks the car in the practice's car park. "The moment I want your relationship advice, I'll ask for it."

"Fine," Mark murmurs huffily as we all get out of the car, to see the sun shining brightly in our eyes.

"I need to get a decent pair of sunglasses," I murmur.

"You don't have any?" Amy asks me slightly shocked, as I walk around to her side.

"Never need any in Seattle," Mark laughs. "It's hail, rain, snow, more hail, more rain, more snow."

"That's true," I laugh. "You need clothes for summer all year round in LA and you need to dress for winter all year round in Seattle."

"I don't understand how you can put up with so much rain," Amy laughs as we walk into the busy lobby of the practice.

"You get…" I start.

"Amelia!" Pete calls loudly. We met him and his wife Violet yesterday afternoon when Naomi gave us the tour of the practice. He seems like a decent guy. The paediatric doctor was a nice guy too, a little odd but he seems good with his patients. Naomi did warn us that he was weird before we went in though.

"What's up?" Amelia smiles as he runs towards us.

"We just had an emergent call from the Homeless Shelter we donate time too. I know you haven't been before but I really need you to go now," Pete asserts as soon as he has reached the three of us.

"Can't…" Amy starts.

"I would but I've got a consult," he explains. "It's a patient of Sam's but he's in surgery. Addison is on her way but she won't get there for another thirty minutes and by then it could be too late. She said I wasn't to ask you. She was really insistent on it but there is no one else that can do it."

"Why would she not want me to go?" Amy asks, confused.

"Probably because she knows how important it is that you spend time with Mark and Derek," Pete explains, turning to the two of us. "But there's no reason they can't go with you, if they want to."

"That's fine," I smile assuringly at him. "What's wrong with the patient?"

"Remember that the name your given won't be his birth name. They rarely ever give their birth name. I was told over the phone that it is a tension Pneumothorax. I'm assuming there is a first aider on the scene," he explains quickly.

"So you didn't diagnose it?" I ask lightly.

"No," he shakes his head. "They did. But going what they told me, I suspect they are right and you'll have to check out his friend because apparently she has taken ill too."

"Okay," Amy nods. "We'll let you know what happens. Let's go you two," she smiles at us.

"Thanks guys," Pete smiles as he runs through the busy lobby to get on with his consult.

As we run inside with the medical bags that Amy keeps in the back of her car, we find an attendant waiting for us.

"What happened?" Amy demands as we fall into stride with her.

"He had a collapsed lung that's been treated. He was struggling to breathe so he had to be intubated…"

"Intubated?" the three of us ask together, unsure whether we heard right.

"Look, he came in with his friend about an hour ago and they both looked worse than ever. He collapsed and the female he was with, checked him over, she said something about him having a collapsed lung. She said she needed a needle to allow the air out. She then got one of the attendants to run next door to the medical supply team. You know the company who make different equipment for treating…"

"We know it," Amelia interjects impatiently.

"Anyway, she got him intubated and one of the attendants is bagging him now if you want to check him over," he explains hurriedly.

"Show us the way," Mark urges at the attendant, before the three of us share a confused look.

"Was his friend a doctor?" I ask, trying to work out how else someone would know what to do in these circumstances.

"I have no idea," he shrugged, as he led us through double doors to a big canteen style dining area where our patient was lying in the middle of the floor, between two tables, with a tube down his throat helping him breathe with another attendant bagging him.

There are twelve homeless people in the room, spectating as the female attendant continues to squeeze the bag to help the patient breathe.

"Okay," Amy breathes slowly in shock.

"What the hell?" Mark breathes, flabbergasted by it all. I have never seen this before.

"How did the attendant convince the company to give you the supplies?" I ask as I watch Amelia and Mark check him out.

"Equal breath sounds on both sounds," I hear Amy murmur.

"I told them it was a matter of life and death," the attendant who was bagging him explained to me.

"How do you know to bag him every three seconds?" I ask her, watching what I see nurses do every day.

"Pupils, equal and reactive," Mark murmurs. "Seriously? What the hell?" I hear him ask in a whisper as Amy and I share a look.

"She told me too," the female attendant shrugged as if it was no big deal.

"Where is she?" I ask.

"She is in the ladies bathroom," the guy murmurs. "It's just through those double doors," he explains, pointing to the doors on the right of us.

"Derek," Amelia interrupts with a small smile on her lips as well as a look of adoration. "She saved his life."

"I'll be damned," Mark murmurs.

"I honestly don't know how she did it," the attendant whispers, seeming as shocked as us. "She's sick too and she has been so weak the past few weeks. She has grown weaker, more fragile."

"What's her name?" I ask the attendant as he looks at me oddly. "I'll need to go check her over. Make sure she is okay," I urge.

"I don't think that's a good idea," the attendant whispers. "She is incredibly frightened of new people. Especially doctors."

"I understand," I nod. "But at least let me try," I urge.

"It's Amy," he whispers. "Her name is Amy."

"Okay," I smile; grabbing Amy's other medical bag. "You might want to find them somewhere else to sit until the ambulance gets here," I murmur pointing to the crowd of homeless spectators.

"I didn't call an ambulance," the attendant murmurs in panic. "I just called you."

"We did when we were in the car," Mark assures him as he stands up. "Look, I know they don't give their real name but we need to know the name he is known as just now?" he questions.

"It's Michael," the attendant murmurs.

"I'm just going to check on his friend," I nod at them before I make my way through the double doors to see the sign for the ladies bathroom.

I still can't quite get my mind round this. She has to have had some medical background because there is no way she could have known that otherwise. When I reach the door, I knock it gently so I don't startle her.

When I walk through the door, I instantly hear sobbing coming from the far end of the bathroom. I soon discover she has locked herself in one of the cubicles. I dump the heavy medical bag on the sink worktop before standing outside her cubicle door.

"Amy," I prod gently. "Your friends going to be okay," I quickly assure her, knowing that it is probably the most important piece of information I could give her. "You saved his life."

Sobbing.

"Why don't you come out here for a second Amy?" I ask softly. "I promise I won't hurt you but I need to make sure you're okay."

More sobbing. Her breathing sounds shallow and I can tell she is in the middle of having a panic attack. It wouldn't surprise me if she has pneumonia though, considering her living conditions.

"Amy is a pretty name. My sister's name is Amy," I smile trying to get her to open up. "I'm Dr. Shepherd."

"Go away," she pleads in a whisper. She is so quiet that I almost couldn't hear her.

"No, Amy. I can't do that," I breathe. "I need to make sure you're okay. So why don't you come out or at least unlock the door so I can see you."

"Please, please, please," she pleads, gasping for air.

"Amy, I know you have suffered a shock but I promise you that Michael is okay. You did brilliantly and the ambulance will be here soon enough to take him to the hospital," I explain.

"No hospital," I hear her gasp as she chokes on a sob. She's panicking badly and I need to get in there.

"Michael has to go but you don't have to go if you don't want to," I breathe. "But I do have to check you out," I urge.

She'll need to go to hospital too. Her breathing sounds bad and that hasn't been something that has just developed.

"Go away, go away, "she pleads like a mantra. "Go away Derek."

"I can't," I explain. "Wait…I didn't tell you my name."

How could she possibly know my name?

"Go away," she continues. "Go away, go away. Go away Derek."

I'm sure I didn't tell her my name. It like she's telling herself though. It doesn't feel like she is talking to me.

Another choked sob and a violent cough to go with it.

Right, that's it.

I quickly climb onto the toilet seat in the next cubicle to hers and poke my head over the wall. I can see her sitting up, knees to chest and arms wrapped tightly around her as a sign that she feels the need to protect herself. She keeps whispering that mantra through the coughing, the sobbing and the shakes. Her entire body is shaking like a leaf. She must be exhausted. How am I going to convince her to come out?

"Amy," I whisper from above. "Look at me," I plead, feeling a wave of nausea.

Amy looks up and I feel myself gasp as my body goes completely rigid with shock in the same way hers does as we mirror each other's confused expressions.

"Meredith?"

The more comments I get, the much quicker I will update Xxxx