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Okay everyone, I hope you have had a fab Easter and haven't eaten too much chocolate! Thank you to everyone who commented on my last update and I only hope I don't disappoint you with this one! Please let me know what you think of it! I beg of you!

Derek's Point of View

Over the past year, I spent a lot of time wondering how much Meredith had changed since she left. Whether her appearance had changed dramatically or not? But of all the scenarios and pictures I had in my mind, not one of them involved Meredith looking the way she does right now - sad, terrified, weak, scraggy, worn out with greasy hair that is clung to her head even though it is pulled back in a ponytail. Then there's the old, ripped clothes she is wearing. She was never one for following fashion but this is unreal. This is my Meredith though. There's no mistaking those beautiful eyes of hers.

I can't quite wrap my mind around this. So many questions are running through my head. How did she manage to let this happen? How did she even get into this state? And why…Crap! Of course she couldn't call me because she thought I was dead.

Gasp.

Meredith leans her head on her knees and continues to rock back and forth, in silence now, ignoring me.

"Meredith," I start, gently. I know I'm going to have to behave cautiously here yet all I want to do is jump over this stupid wall and pull her into my arms. How am I supposed to restrain myself? "Meredith, why don't you unlock the door so we can talk?"

She's not even looking at me now. Why is she ignoring me? Why isn't she surprised to see me? Why…? Oh shit! She thinks I'm a hallucination. She's asking me, the hallucination, to go away. She's convinced I'm not real.

"Meredith, it's Derek. Meredith, it's really me," I state, hoping it's enough to convince her.

"No, no," she sobs. "It can't be you," she whispers quietly.

"It is Meredith," I whisper pleadingly. "Please Meredith, just unlock the door and you can see for yourself."

"No," she states bluntly, before she starts to cough loudly.

"Meredith, look at me," I plead, once she has finished coughing. I need to get her out of here. I need to do it fast. However, I don't want to do it at the cost of terrifying her any further. But I will if I have to. "Just look at me," I repeat.

Another sob escapes her chapped lips but she doesn't look up.

"Meredith," I sigh before her head finally, slowly moves to look up towards me. She looks hesitant to make eye contact at first, as her eyes focus on the hand I have gripped onto the wall.

Finally when she does look into my eyes, her eyes bulge as she lets out a half gasp, half sob "Derek!" she screams before she begins to hyperventilate and in that moment we lose eye contact once again.

"Meredith, you need to listen to me," I order gently. "You need to take slow deep breaths," I whisper as I find the strength to push myself up and over the cubicle wall. If this had been over a year ago, I could guarantee Meredith would be choking with laughter, not sobs.

"Finally," I mutter as my legs touch the floor. When I turn, I try not to be disheartened by the fact that Meredith has moved right back against the toilet seat as if she's trying to put the distance between us. Although, that's not exactly possible considering the size of space you get in this cubicle.

"Meredith," I breathe, trying my best to muster a smile as I crouch down in front of the toilet. She's still hyperventilating but she's doing her best to squeeze her knees to her chest as if she needs protecting from me.

Gulp.

"Meredith," I assert, taking a hold of her hand. She flinches and tries to move it out of my grasp but I won't allow it. This is for her own good. At least that is what I am telling myself. I give her hand a gentle squeeze and manage to make eye contact with her in order to give her a little reassurance with a small smile before I look at my watch and place my fingers on her wrist in order to take her pulse. I can sense she is trying desperately to escape the confined space but I know and she knows that she doesn't have the energy. She would have had to have been running on Adrenaline for quite some time now. It's a powerful drug that she has obviously run out of.

I can tell just by looking at her and listening to her breath sounds from this distance that she has pneumonia. Her pulse is rapid and is showing no signs of slowing down. Her hand is shaking in my arms so I do the only thing I know how to comfort her. I take her hand in mine and squeeze it. Her hands feel clammy. Her cheeks are flushed. She's sweating which suggests a temperature. All signs of pneumonia. It wouldn't surprise me if she knows it herself. One of the unusual symptoms of pneumonia is hallucinating. She could still be thinking of me as a hallucination. Especially if she knows she has pneumonia.

"How?" I hear her gasp as I gently reach up my hand to graze her forehead.

Shit! She has a fever.

"How…I…I…I don't…"

I gaze into her eyes and I know exactly what she is asking. The tears are streaming down her face as I feel mine begin to water but the last thing I want to do is break down in front of her when she needs me the most.

"Meredith, Rachel lied to you," I answer honestly, maintaining eye contact. "She lied in order to get you out of the picture."

"But…"

"The death certificate was fake," I whisper, as I watch her shocked expression change to one of fury. There's the Meredith I love. However as quickly as she came, she left, just as suddenly. "Meredith, I am not a hallucination. I promise you, I'm not. I'm right here," I assure her.

"You-have-to-go," she breathes out slowly as her breathing becomes more erratic than before.

"No," I shake my head. I did half expect her to do this; to push me away. I want to yell at her for it but I'm not going to because it will get us nowhere. "I'm not leaving Meredith," I tell her firmly, keeping her hand in mine as she tries her best to pull it away from my grasp.

"Derek," she pleads, as the tears continue to stream down her face. She doesn't even sound like Meredith. She looks, sounds and acts like a shell of the person she once was. What the hell has happened to her? I always come back to this. What could have happened that led to this?

"No Meredith," I continue, ignoring the fact she's giving me a pleading look. "I've been looking for you for so long now and there is no way in hell I'm letting you go, so you had better get used to having me in your life because I am not letting you leave again."

Meredith just stares at me through her glassy, tear stained, baggy eyes. "Michael is about to be taken to the hospital," I start to explain even as I wonder just who Michael is to her. "You are going to sit here, keep calm, focus on your breathing whilst I go and call for an ambulance…"

"No!" She screeches at the top of her lungs, squeezing my hand tightly as if she is pleading with me not to leave her.

"Yes Meredith!" I snap. "I'm giving you two choices here. I either call an ambulance and I sit with you here whilst we wait for it or I go out there and I get Mark and Amy to help me drag you…"

"No, no, no, no, no," she gasps, shaking her head violently. "No, no, no…"

She's beyond hysterical which isn't helping. I need to get her to the hospital to treat her but the suggestion of going to the hospital is making her behave this way.

"I won't do that. I promise I won't if you let me help," I suggest gently. "But no matter what Meredith, I am getting you to a hospital. You have pneumonia and you need to be treated."

"No Derek," she cries, clutching at my arms now. "Please no!"

"It's okay," I whisper, pulling her into my arms, ignoring the smell that immediately attacks my nostrils. My heart breaks just listening to her. Having her close, I can feel how tense she is and I know it's because she isn't comfortable. I can also feel how warm she is. I need to get her out of here fast. "Meredith, I'm going to do everything in my power to help you," I whisper in her ear, as I lift her up and sit on the toilet seat with her in my arms.

"Wh…what…if…if…I don't want it?" she gasps out, although it comes out sounding muffled as she is leaning into my shirt.

"Then that's just tough because you are getting it whether you want it or not?" I chuckle lightly but I know she knows I mean every word.

"Derek," she cries, as she tries to gasp for breath.

"Slow, deep breaths," I murmur, stroking her back with one hand as I pull my blackberry out of my jean pocket. "Try and stay calm Meredith," I order gently, noticing that her whole body is beginning to shake all over again. She's not going to like what I am about to do. I hit the appropriate speed dial and wait for an answer. "Mark? Get in here," I order before hanging up.

"No!" she screeches again, although it comes out a wail thanks to the fact she can barely breathe.

"Meredith, stay calm," I whisper, using my hand to turn her face in order for her to face me. "I'll do the talking. Just stay calm," I demand as her head flops against my shoulder from exhaustion.

"Derek?" Mark calls as he comes into the bathroom.

"Yeah," I sigh, thankful he is here to back me up. I'm going to need him here.

"The ambulance is here," he announces. "And Addison arrived just as you came in here," he informs me as Meredith continues to sob into my shoulder.

"Shh," I whisper to her gently. "Mark, we're going to need another ambulance and my medical bag on the sink unit?" I question. "Can you pass it through here?" I ask.

"You'll need to unlock the door first," he laughs. "So how is the hero of the hour? You did brilliantly, by the way. Your friend should pull through," Mark whispers as I feel Meredith flinch in my arms as she hides her face into my chest. This isn't going to go down well.

"Mark," I warn. "I…I need you to stay calm."

"Okay," he breathes out and I don't need to see him to know that he's giving me an odd expression through the door. I stand up and unlock the door before gently sitting back down whilst Mark stretches the door open.

"Dude," he groans in shock. "What the hell are you doing? You're supposed to be her doctor?"

Meredith grips onto my neck for dear life, all the while she continues to gasp for breath.

"Mark, go and call an ambulance!" I demand as I feel Meredith's body go tense in my arms.

"Derek? What the hell are you doing?" He asks again, not backing down.

"It's Meredith, Mark," I answer, looking him directly in the eye.

Mark lets out a laugh. "Is this your idea of a stupid joke?" he asks but the laughter quickly vanishes when he sees I am serious. "Derek," Mark starts seriously. "She's not Meredith."

"Yes, she is," I tell him firmly, holding her tighter to me. It's kind of like I need to hold her to me as tight as possible just for the reassurance that she is in fact in my arms. "Meredith," I whisper into her ear. "I know this feels impossible right now but I need you to look at Mark's ugly mutt of a face, if only for a second," I joke. "Please Meredith," I plead as Mark gives me a worried glance as if I have completely lost the plot.

"Derek, Meredith has…" Mark starts but is caught off with shock when Meredith sends Mark a quick glance before hiding her head in my shoulder once again. "Oh. My. God," he chokes out, as Meredith sobs louder into my shoulder. "Meredith," he cries in dismay, taking a step forward but I shake my head at him. Meredith's too jumpy right now. "How?...what?...how?" he begins to ask, looking between me and the woman curled up in my arms.

I'm about to fill him in when I hear Meredith groan my name before her body goes limp in my arms.

"Mark! Ambulance now! Quickly!" I shout as I stand with her in my arms and step outside the cubicle in order to lay her down on the floor. I hear Mark quickly run out of the door whilst I quickly check that she still has a pulse. "Don't you dare leave me!" I cry into the crook of her neck. "Do you hear me Meredith Grey? Don't you dare leave me! You can't," I plead. "Not when I've just got you back!"