Author's Note: Hello, everyone! :) I'm really excited for you to read this chapter! Ooh- speaking of stuff: who watched the Glee premiere last night? I won't say anything about it so I don't spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet, but I totally loved it! You know- your opinion of it/reaction to it would be a great thing to include in a review (hint, hint)... Anyway, chapter time!
Disclaimer: (See Chapter 1)
Aftermath
~Chapter 3~
Blaine had made no move to comfort Kurt after he had torn away from his touch, as it would probably only make his hysteria worse. Instead, he could only stand at a distance as Kurt and Carole grieved for their lost family member.
It had seemed like the three of them stood there forever, even though it was really only around an hour. Carole had resigned herself to sitting in the chair nearest to Burt and crying softly with her head in her hands. After a while, she had left the room, unable to control her emotions in the presence of Burt's body.
Kurt hadn't changed his position of half-lying on top of his father. As the minutes had ticked by, his sobs had quieted to a soft whimpering, and then silence. Now, by looking at the steady rhythm of his breathing, Blaine could tell that he had fallen asleep. He was thankful, for Kurt's sake, that he could sleep peacefully instead of having to deal with Burt's death.
Unless…unless he was having nightmares. Unless he was trapped inside his head, reliving the fire over and over. Should he wake him up? What if that only made the situation worse?
It wasn't until hours later that his many fears were quelled, during which time Blaine had divided his time between sitting and pacing. He saw Kurt slowly standing up, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. Blaine began to take a step forward, but paused, still unsure of how to handle the situation. Kurt turned around slowly.
Not meeting Blaine's gaze, Kurt said emotionlessly, "We should check on Finn."
With that, he walked over to the door. Blaine, however, was not going to let that happen. Quickly, he grabbed Kurt's arm to stop him from leaving.
"Kurt, please don't do this."
There was a slight flicker of emotion in Kurt's expression, but he simply asked, "Do what?"
Blaine sighed, "Pretending that something didn't happen won't change the past. Sooner or later you're going to have to face it."
Kurt's mask cracked. Blaine felt him shudder, and let go of his arm to pull him into a hug. Even if Kurt was too proud to ask for comfort, Blaine would give it to him.
"It feels so lonely knowing that he's not here." Kurt said softly.
Blaine pulled away slightly so that he could look at Kurt and still hold him close. He tried to think of the right words. What was there that you could possibly say to a person in this situation?
"I know your dad is irreplaceable, Kurt, but you're not alone," he began. "Carole and Finn care about you, along with all of New Directions, and even the Warblers," He paused to lift Kurt's chin up, so that he could look into his eyes, and added, "and you have me. You'll always have me."
Kurt's face softened into a sad half-smile. "You promise?"
"Always and forever."
Anything else he would have added was cut off by Kurt pressing his lips to Blaine's. His eyelids flickered shut, and both of them savored this one happy moment in the midst of tragedy. But even as Blaine wound his arms tighter around his boyfriend, he knew that this kiss wasn't simply a kiss of passion or want. It was a promise that they would always be there for each other. And, at its core, it was simply a way to express how each boy loved the other with all of his heart. After all, didn't actions speak louder than words?
Kurt pulled away after a while, a little short of breath, but feeling much less empty inside.
"Thank you," he said, although the two words felt insufficient compared to the gratitude he felt.
Blaine just smiled because no words needed to be said. However, an idea struck him, and he had to break the silence, even if it would put a damper on the beautiful moment.
"Kurt, I think it would be best if you and Carole spent some time away from here. Finn's stable, right? So, it might help you…"
How was he supposed to end that sentence? Help him…calm down? Start over? Move on? Thankfully, Kurt didn't make him finish.
"It's a good idea, but we don't exactly have a place to go."
"What about my house? I'm sure my mom would let both of you stay overnight and until you can get back on your feet."
"Blaine, I couldn't –"
"I insist."
Kurt sighed, and Blaine knew that he had agreed.
"I'll call her right now, and you can go ask Carole."
"Fine."
Kurt hugged Blaine one more time and left, leaving him alone with the both saddening and sickening sight of Burt Hummel's corpse. A shudder ran through Blaine's body, and he quickly stepped into the hallway, dialing his mother's familiar number.
On the other side of the hallway, Kurt found his step-mother sitting next to Finn's hospital bed. She wasn't moving, with the exception of breathing, and her eyes stared, unfocused, at the wall.
She's still in shock, Kurt thought to himself. I guess this is how she's dealing with Dad…He had to take a deep breath to keep his emotions under control.
"Carole?" Kurt asked softly.
She jumped slightly, and slowly turned to face him.
"Oh, Kurt, it's you…" Carole murmured.
Kurt wasn't quite sure how to start the conversation, so he skipped to the point. "Blaine offered for both of us to stay the night at his house."
Carole hesitated, and then said slowly, "I'm sorry, honey, but I have to stay with Finn. I'm just so worried that…that he won't wake up if I leave."
Her voice cracked at the end of the sentence, and Kurt suddenly felt guilty for even considering Blaine's invitation.
"You're right. I'll stay with you, too, and I'll tell Blaine that–"
"No, you should go. It'll be good for you to get away from here for a while. You can take your mind off of things if you take a break from it."
And, for the second time today, Kurt caved in.
"Good news– she said yes," a voice said from behind him, and Kurt nearly had a heart attack.
"Blaine, don't scare me like that!"
"Sorry!" came the sheepish reply.
Kurt turned around to find Blaine standing in the doorway, a questioning look on his face that seemed to ask, "Well?".
"Carole's staying with Finn, but I'm coming," Kurt said to the unspoken question.
Blaine smiled. "Alright. We'll leave around 4:30, and I'll drive us there."
Kurt's heart sank at the thought of spending any more time at the hospital, but agreed anyway. On the bright side, he'd be able to spend some more time with Finn, so he didn't have to feel as guilty about leaving him.
It was going to be a long wait.
Eight (excruciatingly long) hours later, Kurt and Blaine were on their way to the Anderson residence. The ride there was completely silent, which was a result of the combination of Blaine not knowing what to say and Kurt stewing in his depression. So, it was a relief to both of them when the half-hour drive was finished.
As the car pulled into the driveway, Kurt spoke up, "So, are your parents…accepting of your sexuality?" When he saw Blaine's hesitant expression, he added, "You have told them you're gay, haven't you?"
Blaine interjected quickly, "Of course! I just…never really told them that we're dating." Kurt looked quite put out, and Blaine realized how bad it must have sounded. "It's not that I'm ashamed of telling them! I'm sure my mother would be completely fine with it, anyway. It's my father that has issues with me being gay, and if he knew that I have a boyfriend…I'm worried about how he'll react."
"So do you plan on hiding our relationship while I'm staying with you, too?" Kurt asked, annoyance plain in his voice.
"No. It's time that I introduced you as my boyfriend, and faced the consequences. I do have you for support now, anyway."
This merited a small smile from Kurt, who happily agreed to Blaine's plan.
Kurt's smile wavered, however, and he said softly, "I told my dad about us right away. He didn't really seem to know what to say, but I could tell that he was happy for me." He took a shaky breath, and his next statement came out like a cross between a laugh and a choked sob. "He made me promise to invite you over soon so that he could give you the 'over-protective dad' speech."
"Kurt…"
"I know that I'm being over-emotional, and I'm supposed to move on, but I can't, Blaine. I just can't."
"You don't need to. You're not 'supposed to' do anything, and no one can tell you how to feel."
Kurt's eyes were red, and he was still trying to hold himself together, but he still managed a half-smile as he asked, "How is it that you always know the right thing to say?"
"Dapper intuition," Blaine joked, his smile mirroring Kurt's. "Now, let's go and begin the introductions, shall we?"
"I'd love to, but I look absolutely terrible. This isn't exactly the first impression that I want to make."
"Well, luckily for you, I have just the solution. Look in the glove box."
Kurt followed Blaine's instructions, and gasped at his discovery. In his hand was…a bottle of concealer?
"What…?"
Blaine laughed at Kurt's reaction. "You left it there a couple of days ago when I drove us out of town for our picnic."
Now, Kurt joined in with the laughter. "Who knew that would come in handy?"
He uncapped the bottle and smeared the pale make-up around his eyes, hoping that he looked at least half-decent. He was not about to meet his boyfriend's parents looking like a train wreck. Kurt Hummel just did not roll that way.
He nodded to Blaine. "I'm ready."
The woman who answered the door appeared to be somewhere in her early forties. She had a striking resemblance to Blaine, with black curls and warm hazel eyes. She wore light blue jeans and a flowery blouse, which went well with her kind smile.
Blaine and Kurt stood together just outside the doorway– close enough to make it clear that they were friends, but far enough apart that nothing would be assumed about a relationship just yet.
"Hi, Mom," Blaine said, his voice cheerful, but indicating that all was not well.
Clearly aware of the current situation at hand, Mrs. Anderson gave them both a sympathetic smile and said, "Come on in, boys."
Kurt wasn't sure what to expect when he walked into the Anderson residence. From the outside, it looked like a mid-sized house, leaning on the larger side. The minute he stepped inside, however, he immediately found that he loved whoever designed it. It was home décor at its best. The whole house (or at least the parts that he could see) managed to look high-end, yet not snobbish, at the same time. It was very elegant and still had a homey feel to it. Kurt mentally took notes for when he would next need to redecorate. This was genius.
Of course, the next room I decorate won't be my room, because it's gone. No! I am NOT going there right now! I'm just admiring the house. That's all.
Mrs. Anderson noticed the look of admiration on Kurt's face, and said to him, "The whole design was my idea, you know. What do you think of it?"
"It's amazing," Kurt said quietly, still a little awestruck.
That brought another smile to Mrs. Anderson's face. "Thank you, Kurt. It's not often that someone fully appreciates it."
A loud BEEP! interrupted their conversation.
"That's the microwave! Excuse me, boys," Mrs. Anderson said as she left for the kitchen.
"My mom's making hot ham and cheese sandwiches for dinner. It's one of my favorites," Blaine said with a grin, "Is that alright with you?"
"Of course," Kurt said quickly, and then paused before asking, "How much does your mom know?"
"About you or about us?"
"Both."
"Well, let's see…she knows that you're a really close friend of mine, and she knows the basics of what's happened to you since yesterday. I had to tell her during my phone calls so that I could stay at the hospital and have you stay the night here."
"Alright. So, when do you plan on introducing me as 'Kurt Hummel: Blaine Anderson's boyfriend'?"
The grin re-appeared on Blaine's face, only now it was bordering on mischievous. "You just like to say that out loud, don't you?"
Kurt blushed. "That is…completely true. I never get sick of hearing it."
Blaine laughed, loving how easy it was for them to simply be with each other. If there were such things as soul mates, Blaine was sure that he and Kurt were. What was a soul mate, really? Someone that you were perfectly in sync with? Check. Someone that you could tell anything or talk about anything with, and they would understand you? Check. Someone that you loved and couldn't imagine your life without? Check, without a doubt.
Suddenly, the front door slammed open a few feet away from them, and a deep voice called out, "Melinda, I'm home!"
The man that appeared in the doorway was similar to Blaine, and yet very different. Sure, there was something familiar in the set of his jaw and his slightly triangular eyebrows, but his face didn't hold the same kindness. He also had short, dark hair that gave him an aura of authority. Of course, that aura was also due in part to the crisp black suit and tie that he was wearing, but the haircut did wonders to enhance it. In short, Adam Anderson looked like he meant business.
Mrs. Anderson came out from the kitchen to greet her husband, asking, "Good day at work, sweetheart?"
"A busy day, actually. Lots of things to do," Mr. Anderson replied, annoyed but not unkindly. "If only…oh, Blaine," he said suddenly, noticing the two boys in the living room.
"Sir," Blaine greeted him curtly, along with a nod.
Mr. Anderson jerked his head in Kurt's direction. "Who's this?"
Mrs. Anderson, noticing the tension in the room, said with a bit of worry in her eyes, "Darling, this is Kurt. He's Blaine's friend from McKinley, remember? Blaine's talked about him a lot."
Blaine and Kurt shared a look. I have to do it, Blaine thought to himself. It's now or never. He took a deep breath.
"Actually, Mom and Dad, I haven't properly introduced him to either of you yet." He laced his fingers with Kurt's, and prayed that this wouldn't end in disaster. He felt Kurt squeeze his hand reassuringly. Here goes nothing… "This is Kurt Hummel, my boyfriend."
There was silence. Mr. Anderson stared Blaine down. It took nearly every ounce of courage that Blaine possessed to match his father's stern gaze.
"I see," Mr. Anderson said emotionlessly.
"Adam…" Mrs. Anderson whispered, making it sound like a warning.
He ignored her, and walked out of the room muttering, "Excuse me."
Blaine swallowed thickly. He wasn't quite sure what to think. The moment the words had left his lips, he had felt relieved, but that was quickly followed by a wave of fear for his father's reaction. Now, the emotion he was feeling was somewhere in between anger and sadness. He knew that there was a good chance of this very situation playing out, but it hurt just the same.
"Blaine?" he heard his mother say. She walked over and continued, "I'm sorry he reacted this way, but you know that he's had…issues accepting you. He just needs a little time to adjust to the news."
"It's alright. I expected that this would probably happen," Blaine responded with sigh.
"Oh, Blaine…" Then Mrs. Anderson's tone changed, and she addressed both boys in front of her. "I just want you two to know that I am so happy for both of you. From what I know, Kurt, you seem like a wonderful boy, and you make Blaine happy, which is all I could ever ask for."
Kurt was positively beaming at his point. Blaine's heart skipped a beat when he looked beside him and saw his boyfriend's beautiful smile. That, coupled with his mother's kind words, renewed his previously shaken determination. Blaine loved Kurt, and a few closed-minded homophobes –even if one of them was his father– were not going to ruin their relationship.
"Thanks, Mom," Blaine told her, hoping that he could get across how much he appreciated the things she had said. "That means a lot."
Dinner was silent. There was, of course, the sound of clinking silverware, and Mrs. Anderson would once in a while try to start a conversation, but those futile attempts were met with quick, brusque answers. Awkwardness and tension were practically hanging over their heads like storm clouds. So, it was a relief to everyone when the last scrap of food was gone from Mr. Anderson's plate, and they were excused.
It was getting late, and Kurt and Blaine went upstairs to determine the night's sleeping arrangements.
"So, do you have an extra room, or…?
Blaine cut in, "Well, technically you're supposed to sleep in the guestroom down the hallway, but you're welcome to sleep in my room, instead." At Kurt's immediate blush, he added, "Not if it makes you uncomfortable! But the option is there in case you want to."
"Alright. But…I don't have anything like pajamas, a toothbrush, and OH MY GAGA, Blaine, I still look terrible right now–"
"You look beautiful, as always." This merited a second blush from Kurt, and all Blaine could think was some things never change. "But you can borrow some of my clothes to sleep in."
"And the toothbrush?"
"Cupboard in the bathroom."
Now, Kurt smiled. "Thank you."
"It was nothing. It's just clothes and a toothbrush."
"No. I mean thank you," Kurt said seriously. "As in, thank you for just…I don't know…being there. It really means a lot. I honestly don't know what I would do without you."
Blaine couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth. "I love you," he practically blurted out.
Blaine didn't think that his boyfriend's smile could get any wider. His face lit up like the sun as he said, "I love you, too."
There was a moment of silence with just the two of them locking eyes.
"Kurt…" Blaine said softly, almost at a whisper.
"What?" he breathed back.
"…we've really got to go to sleep now."
The adorable laugh that escaped Kurt's lips was Blaine's favorite sound in the whole world.
Half an hour later, Kurt was lying on the guestroom bed wearing one of Blaine's oversized T-shirts and a pair of black sweatpants. It was dark and eerily quiet. He tossed and turned restlessly, and was nowhere even close to sleeping. Part of it was because he couldn't keep his eyes shut for more than a few seconds at a time.
Every time Kurt closed his eyes, images flashed before him that he didn't want to remember, and all he could feel were the hot flames closing in on him. Yet, when he snapped his eyes back open, the dark corners of the room reflected the demons crouching behind his eyelids.
Finally, he gave up. He stretched across the pillow, fumbling for the lamp. The switch slid under his fingers, and white light flooded the room. Blinking rapidly, Kurt tried to adjust to the sudden brightness.
There is no way I'm going to fall asleep like this. I could always just keep the light on…No, that's stupid, and it wouldn't work anyway. Well…Blaine did say that I could go to his room, but that might seem weird…but he was the one who offered. Ugh. I'm over-thinking this. All I need is Blaine…and that came out extremely clingy. No! I'm over-thinking again!
Kurt sighed and peeled the blankets back. He swung his legs over the side, and shivered as his bare feet hit the cold wooden floor. Exhausted, but determined, he dragged himself down the hallway to his boyfriend's room.
Doubts swirled in the back of his mind: What if he was just saying that to be nice? Am I going to come across as completely needy? Oh Gaga, that's the last thing I want.
He turned the handle slowly, grimacing when it squeaked slightly. Looking around the half-open door, he saw Blaine's sleeping form resting peacefully in his twin bed, illuminated by pale moonlight filtering in through the window.
Just when Kurt began to have second thoughts about waking him, he stepped onto a loose section of the floor. A resounding creak echoed throughout the small space. Kurt saw Blaine slowly roll over to face the doorway, his eyes now open and alert.
"Kurt, is that you?" Blaine asked, and the question was quickly followed by a yawn.
"I, um, couldn't sleep, so I came here…but I didn't mean to wake you up, and I'm really sorry! I'll leave if –"
"Don't worry about it. I was the one who told you that you could sleep in my room, right? I really meant it."
At once, Kurt felt like an idiot for doubting Blaine. Honestly, he knew better than that. Oh well– blame it on sleep deprivation.
"So…can I come in?"
Blaine motioned to a spot next to him. "Sure. My bed's wide enough for both of us to have plenty of space if we sleep on opposite sides."
And Kurt was promptly determined not to blush at the fact that he was wearing his boyfriend's clothes and sleeping with him in his bed, as this was entirely the wrong time and place. Needless to say, it proved to be a task that was easier said than done.
However, after tucking himself under the covers on one side of the bed, Kurt found that the situation was much less awkward than he had thought it would be. They murmured a "goodnight" to each other, and Kurt was instantly lulled by the sound of Blaine's rhythmic breathing. Before long, he was drifting off into the dark embrace of sleep.
Kurt was standing in the center of the ruins of his former home. Black, burnt remnants of furniture and walls stuck out from piles of rubble. Smoke hung thick in the air, and he coughed as it filled his lungs.
From seemingly out of nowhere, he heard voices.
"Well, well– look who it is."
"Why do you think he's here, Mom? To kill someone else?"
Finn and Carole materialized in front of Kurt.
"He didn't feel guilty at all, I suppose."
Horrified, Kurt called out, "Of course I feel guilty! How can you say that?"
Finn turned to glare at him. "Liar."
"It's not a lie! I didn't want any of this to happen!"
Now Carole spoke. "Then maybe instead of being some careless idiot, you would have noticed your mistake before it was too late. Maybe you would have been smarter and tried harder to stop your father from running off. Maybe–"
"Stop it!" Kurt suddenly yelled. Carole was hitting the target of all the guilt that he'd been hiding in the back of his mind.
Finn openly sneered at him as he asked mockingly, "What? You're too much of a coward to face the fact that this is your fault?"
Kurt simply placed his hands over his ears. "I won't listen. I won't listen!"
His efforts were to no avail. Finn and Carole's voices echoed inside of his mind.
"How could you do this?"
"It's all your fault!"
"Why didn't you try harder to stop him?"
"Coward!"
"Liar!"
"Murderer!"
Desperate, Kurt yelled even louder, "STOP IT!"
A noise roared in his ears, and bright, searing flames appeared in a fearsome whirlwind.
The fiery cyclone filled his vision entirely, and he saw Finn and Carole's bodies dissolve into identical piles of gray ashes. It happened so quickly that he didn't even have time to react.
"Now look what you've done."
Kurt whirled around toward the source of the familiar voice. That sounded like…
He screamed.
In front of him, Burt Hummel's bloody, charred corpse was crawling towards him.
"I will never forgive you, Kurt. You killed me, and now I'm going to return the favor. It only seems right that the killer should join the victim in the grave, doesn't it?"
Kurt felt hands touch him, and he tried to scream again. When no sound came out, he began to hyperventilate. His breathe came out in short, choked cries. He wasn't getting enough air. He tried to breathe faster to compensate, but it only worsened the situation.
I'm going to die, aren't I? I don't want to die!
"Kurt? Kurt! Calm down, or you're going to pass out."
What?
"Kurt, listen to me! It's alright."
…Blaine?
"I've got you. You'll be fine."
The nightmare began to blur, and reality came into focus. Kurt found himself sitting up, trembling in his boyfriend's arms. Gradually, his breathing began to slow back down to a normal pace.
I'm safe. It was just a dream…a really, REALLY bad dream.
"Better now?" Blaine asked softly.
It wasn't until now, when Kurt tried to speak, that he realized he was crying. His face was wet and sticky with tears. Instead of an answer, a sob issued from his lips. He felt Blaine pull him closer, rubbing comforting circles on his back.
This could have continued on for a while, but Kurt was determined to reel his overflowing emotions back in. He gritted his teeth and forced the terrible images and thoughts to the back of his mind. He did not want to deal with them.
Extricating himself from Blaine's embrace, Kurt pulled away, wiping at his face with the palms of his hands. When he re-opened his eyes, he was looking at Blaine's concerned expression.
Deep breaths, Kurt.
"I…um…" Kurt found himself lost for words.
…oh, forget it.
"Kurt, what's wr–" Realizing the stupidity of asking that question, Blaine started over. "You're missing your dad. Is that it?"
Kurt hesitated for a moment, but then nodded. The real reason for his tears– he didn't want to go there. Not now, and maybe not ever. That guilt was for him and him alone to know about.
Blaine, however, picked up on the hesitation, along with a flash of something unrecognizable in Kurt's eyes.
What is he not telling me?
"There's something else."
There was that flash again.
"…No, that's it."
"You know that you can tell me anything, right? I won't judge you for it at all."
Another pause.
"It's just," Kurt began, "I feel awful enough about what happened already." He felt his eyes watering again. Damn my weak shell. "But it gets even worse because…" No, I can't say it! Saying it will make it true! "…because it's all my fault."
The truth was out.
Blaine froze. "…What?" He shook off the initial shock and composed himself again, trying to keep his voice calm. "No, it's not. There wasn't anything that you could've done, so don't blame yourself."
"You don't understand!" Kurt's voice cracked, jumping up a few octaves. "I didn't even realize it until it was too late. It was my stupid idea to light candles in the basement, and I must have knocked one of them over when I went upstairs. So, actually, this IS all because of me, and if it weren't for me being such an idiot, my dad wouldn't be dead!"
The piercing sensation of guilt finally hit Kurt square in the chest. It was just as awful as he imagined it would be. He didn't want to start sobbing again, but it was beyond his control. In fact, he would have screamed, if it weren't for the fact that doing that would wake the rest of the house.
Kurt let himself go limp, falling back into his pillow and not bothering to wipe away the teardrops that ran in rivulets down his cheeks.
All my fault.
Instantly, Blaine reacted. He lay down next to Kurt, gathering the crying boy in his arms. It was all he could do to gently run his fingers through his boyfriend's hair and murmur into his ear, "Just let it out, Kurt. It's easier that way." His voice dropped to a whisper. "I'm here, and I love you."
Those three words were what Kurt latched on to. Blaine didn't blame him, even if Kurt blamed himself. Blaine didn't hate him for his mistake; his still loved him. It was because of those three words that Kurt was able to regain control. The guilt didn't leave him, of course. That much pain can't vanish in an in instant. It simply was no longer an all-consuming monster.
Afterword, there was no sound except for both of them breathing. Kurt finally turned to face Blaine, and saw tears in his eyes to match Kurt's own.
Kurt wasn't quite sure what prompted him to lean forward and kiss his boyfriend. Maybe it was gratitude, and maybe it was just to satisfy an intense need to have Blaine there with him. Whatever the reason, he found himself once again in the blissful haze that came with kissing the one and only Blaine Anderson.
It didn't last too long, as they were acutely aware that continuing in their current situation was not exactly the most appropriate thing to do. Instead, Kurt snuggled closer to Blaine, content to just be near him.
As both of them drifted back off to sleep in each other's arms, Kurt found himself thinking, just for a moment, that everything might turn out alright.
Author's Note: Cue the Kluddles! ;) I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I loved writing it. REVIEW PLEASE! It would absolutely make my day! Even if it's just: LYKEOHMYGOSH KLAINE! EEEEP!11!1! (Yes, even that would make me smile, because I put a lot of time and effort into writing this story- particularly this chapter.) The next chapter will be up in 3 more days. Bye for now!
~KlaineFangirl4life