Chapter 3:
August 5, 1999
Hermione had just come from her usual afternoon tea with Andromeda Tonks and her grandson Teddy Lupin, and was presently headed back to her flat in central London.
Her first week had been a long one and all she really wanted to do was curl up and watch a movie with Ron. Speaking of Ron, she hoped he had picked up dinner because she sure as hell wasn't in the mood to cook anything. She did acknowledge that it was an unfair feeling, but it was over powered by the feeling that her boyfriend should be there for her; especially since he was living in her flat that her parents had given her. Not that she would ever hold that over him.
She arrived at the apartment, wearily opening the door and stumbling into the hallway. She tossed her things onto the couch and went to flick the lights on. She flicked the switch and blinked twice: once to clear her eyes of the sudden light; the second to get over the shock of seeing Ron in a suit at the breakfast table. "Ron?"
"Hi love. I thought we might do something special tonight?" He looked confidant in his wizarding dress robes and suit, but nervous at the same time.
She sighed inwardly and cringed at her damned pride, "Oh? What did you have in mind – you look quite handsome." She walked over and gave him a chaste kiss.
He grinned and pulled her into his lap, "I thought we might go out to a nice restaurant, get our minds off the insanity of the week. I know you've exhausted yourself working. So go put on one of your dress robes and we'll be off." He ran his hands up her arms and massaged the back of her neck for a moment, enjoying her little mews of pleasure, before setting her on the ground and pushing her towards their bedroom.
She stumbled off, practically falling asleep as she walked and picked out clothing. She did not want to go out to eat. She wanted to sleep. But her boyfriend wanted to go out to eat. And Hermione wanted to keep her boyfriend happy, so she would go out to eat with him. She knew that letting her go work was a hard compromise for him and she wanted to thank him for it. They had been together since the Last Battle in '98 and had moved in together about four months ago.
She loved that he had finally matured and wasn't so boyish around her anymore. She wished he could converse on things other than Aurors and WWW, but knew that in time more topics would come. Throwing on her dress robes haphazardly, she hoped she had gotten the color co-ordination correct. She strode out the door and ran smack into Ron, who had apparently been watching her dress.
He caught her before she fell and pulled her close, capturing her lips in a rather passionate kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck for leverage and felt his arms enclose her waist. He mumbled against her lips, "See how amazing we are together." She let the oddity of the statement slip through her filters, filing it away to analyze the next day.
He apparated them both to just outside the trendy restaurant 'The Cauldron's Ladle' and pulled her inside behind him. She yawned and worked incredibly hard to wake herself up. She pinched her arm within her robes and felt a jolt of awareness.
As they stood waiting for a table to be readied, she glanced around the restaurant and espied the one and only Lucius Malfoy sitting with what looked to be his son and the Parkinsons. She marveled at his apparent nonchalance at not having Narcissa there and wondered how difficult it had been to appear so blasé about the whole ordeal. Then she marveled at herself for even thinking about Lucius Malfoy and turned back to Ron in disgust with herself.
The maitre'd led them to a table in a darkened corner and Hermione wondered if it was for their privacy or the other customers'. She didn't really care. She knew it took a lot for Ron to hold his head high and take her out to nice dinners – even if he could easily afford them with the wages he made at WWW.
She begged the waiter for a cup of coffee, while Ron ordered a bottle of Pinot Grigio. She glanced at him in surprise, "Are you going to drink that by yourself?"
He grinned, "Of course not Herms, you'll be helping me!" She mock-scowled at the nickname he wouldn't give up. He sobered a little and asked about how her day had been.
She went on to tell him about what projects she was working on and how outdated the laws were that she was working with. She rambled on as the salad course was served, but slowed a little after the entrées were set down and she noticed his eyes had somewhat glazed over. She narrowed her own a little and said nonchalantly, "And I'll be traveling to Paris with Lucius next week – I hope you don't mind dear?"
He merely nodded his head a little and said dreamily, "Whatever you say, love." She smirked and kicked the table slightly, resulting in his elbow sliding off the table and him jerking to attention. "Hmm … oh, sorry, it's just working at the shop with George has put me on this whole new planning level."
Hermione nodded, "Like how?"
His face lit up slightly, "Well I've really gotten into planning out expansion and other special lines for us to have. It's been great being able to organize everything and figure out what will appeal to people most. It's just basic strategy." He shrugged modestly and she grinned at him. "But it's also got me thinking, you know? Like why couldn't we change some of the Ministry around too? Especially the Aurors. We've seen first hand how complicated all the departments are and how they need to be improved. All they really need to do is have someone to implement them."
She beamed at him, "Ron that's fabulous! I'm so glad that you're enjoying everything and that it's got you thinking about all of this. I think you're absolutely correct – the Ministry really does need someone excellent with strategy to come in and help plan it all out. I think you would do a wonderful job." She entwined their fingers together on top of the table and leant over to give him a small kiss. A small kiss that he deepened and she pulled back from blushing.
"I'm glad you think so Herm; because I was thinking too that if we wanted to really move into this next phase. I would really need your support behind me." He looked at her seriously.
She said quietly, "I'll always support you Ron, you know that."
He nodded and took both of her hands into his, "I know you will, but I meant even more so – like from home." He watched her face closely and saw her eyes contract a little; he hurried on, "I know you can do anything you want – you know it too! You don't need to prove yourself. But I can't do this on my own! I would need you to back me up."
She said tightly, "So, you mean like be home for you with your dinner ready every night and a cool cloth for your headaches?"
He nodded happily, "Exactly! See you understand." He leaned in to catch her lips in a kiss once more, happy that she had taken it all so well. He knew he could do without the book.
However, his lips met nothing but a hissing of air as she said in a whisper, "I will not discuss this further in here. I think we need to go outside for a moment and finish talking."
He glanced at her warily and summoned the check quickly. "Just owl me the receipt if you please. The lady and I need to get home quickly," he winked to save face and hurriedly followed his huffing girlfriend out the door. Both missed the ice grey eyes that followed their movements outside.
Ron rushed out the door and side-stepped quickly to avoid running straight into Hermione. "Herm …"
She growled, "Don't you dare Ronald. I can't believe you! I thought you were ok with me working. I thought you understood that I do need to prove myself – to myself and every other person in our world! I want to make a difference other than just helping with Voldemort. I thought you understood that! Where is the guy that wanted me to work and wasn't going to pressure me to start a family?! For fuck's sake Ron, I turn twenty in a month and you want me to stop before I've begun?!" Her chest was heaving and she had tears in her eyes.
He gaped at her, "I was okay with you working – I just figured you'd get over it! Don't you love me? Aren't yousupposed to want to take care of me? What if I want to start a family?! It isn't all about you Hermione, my feelings should come into this too. We fought the war so we could start new lives – well I want to start now! With you!" He was fuming and his ears had turned a bright red.
She gaped at him, "Don't I love you?! Love doesn't equate slavery, Ron. And I'm trying to take your feelings in, I am! But I'm just not ready to do all of that yet! We have years Ron, years! Why can't we be together and enjoy what we've got now?! Why rush things? Why don't you understand that?" She had tears running down her cheeks as she looked at him pleadingly.
He looked down at her and shook his head, "I can't talk to you when you're like this." He stepped back shaking his head, "Talk to me when you've calmed down and look at it objectively; you'll see I'm right. But right now, I can't deal with you." He turned and apparated away.
She stared at the space where he had apparated away, the tears chasing each other down her cheeks. Her stomach felt like it was caving in and her knees buckled. She collapsed to the curb and tried to even out her breath, heading off the hyperventilation.
She groaned and stood, realizing how visible she was to the patrons exiting the restaurant. Indeed, just as she had stood up once more, the bell dinged and she saw Lucius holding the door for those behind him. She glanced at his face in shock and turned quickly, hoping to shield her own wretched visage.
She apparated away, praying he hadn't seen anything. She didn't know why, but she couldn't stand him seeing her at her weakest. She had always been brave and proud, even when being tortured during the war. She would not give him the pleasure of seeing her broken.
She missed his look of shock as he watched her disappear.
She arrived outside an odd looking home and hurried to the door. The home was a near replica of Mr. Lovegood's former home, but Hermione noticed that a few things had been heavily feminized. She grinned through her tears at the irony of Luna Lovegood being the one she would run to, but she really had no one else she trusted as much. Luna had been there for her during the war and now with Ginny and Harry so wrapped up in each other, she couldn't hurt them both by crying to them. And she didn't want to go back to the flat because she didn't want to run into Ron.
She rapped on the door four times and prayed Luna was home. Luna opened it quickly, her dreamy eyes roving over Hermione's face. "Hermione, come in. Have you run into a nargle, dear? You are ever so weepy."
Hermione let out a strangled laugh and managed, "Oh it's just me being silly. Ron and I had a fight."
Luna nodded sagely, "Well then you'll just have to stay for the night and have a good talk over my pumpkin tea." She added dreamily, "No one ever really comes and talks to me up here on the hill, especially now that school is finished. Not that I mind. It doesn't scare the Shrivelsnarcks as much."
Hermione shook her head slightly and headed into the worn kitchen, knowing that she had come to the right person to help her look objectively – if oddly- at the problem.
She awoke the next morning with her head pounding, still seated at the table in Luna's kitchen. She groaned slightly. Apparently there had been a bit more to Luna's pumpkin tea then she had let on. Hermione looked at her watch and snarled slightly. She needed to get home.
Luna was still snoring on the table, so Hermione scratched off a quick note to her and hurried away. She didn't pause to check her appearance, so she didn't notice her rumpled clothing, messy hair or smudged make-up. She apparated quickly to her flat and unlocked the door quietly. She stepped into the entrance hall and practically ran into a rather mussed up Lavender Brown.
She raised her eyebrows at the other girl who merely looked at her with sympathetic eyes. They didn't say a word to each other and Hermione merely nodded and stepped aside to let Lavender leave.
She took a deep breath to contain the feelings that threatened to overcome her and slowly stepped into the flat's main area. She walked towards the bedroom where she could hear Ron's snoring. Leaning on the doorway, watching his chest rise and fall under the tangled sheets, she wondered how the two of them had ever gotten to where they were. She coughed loudly to wake him up.
He gave a start and looked blearily up at her. "Hermione?" He glanced around quickly and then gazed back at her.
She sighed wearily, "Yes, Ron. I just got back. I think we need to talk?" He nodded and eyed her clothes with a frown.
"Where were you?"
She turned away, "I think you need to get dressed and we'll talk on the couch."
She settled into the couch, holding a pillow to her chest for comfort. He padded in a moment later and sat on the far end. "Sooo …"
She raised an eyebrow at him, "Lavender? Don't you owe her more than that?"
He sat up straighter, "Oh and like you didn't go to some guy – you're all mussed up Hermione, I would recognize it as well as anyone."
She nodded, "Perhaps. But I think that last night needs to be placed behind both of us. Do you or do you not want to make this work?" She looked at him straight in the eye. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing she had sobbed her heart out at Luna's.
He gaped at her, surprised at her lack of reaction, "Of course I do! I swear this was a one time thing. I want to make this work Herm."
She rolled her eyes, "Then for one month I want us to try living together with me working and you working." She held up a hand at his opening mouth, "Hup, I know that's not what you want, but you're going to deal with it. I need to know what working feels like, let me do this – for us. At the end of the month, I'll reconsider. That's all I can give you Ron."
He nodded, slightly abashed, "Alright. Look, I'm sorry … I just was so angry at you."
She nodded and shrugged, "It happened and I can't do anything about it; but if you're serious about us, then it won't happen again. And I'm not going to give you much incentive; I'm not going to sleep with you Ron for the month. I want us to reconnect and not let the physical distract us."
He looked at her agape, "But Hermione … we'll be in the same flat!"
She ducked her head, "Yes and we'll make do. We both need this Ron."
He nodded defeatedly. He knew she would understand. He only had to wait a month. Surely it couldn't be that hard.