Chapter 8 Edward arrives

Sorry Edward fans

Edward was putting glittery hair gel through his hair (you didn't think it stood up by itself, did you?) when his bath room mirror melted away. He was standing in front of the surprised Alice, Mrs. Lovett, and Sweeney Todd, as well as the not-so-surprised Elissa, Brianna, and Tim. Edward had actually ended up kissing Sweeney Todd instead of his own reflection which was one reason he himself was frightened. "Who are you people?" he gasped. "None of you are my Bella…"

"I'm Alice Kingsley. Pleased to meat you," said Alice curtsying (she, of course, had no clue who the glittery man was, so greeted him politely.

"Oh, are you a vampire to?" asked Edward. He was glad someone was from near his time.

"I need another explanation," Sweeney Todd said, his voice becoming dangerous.

"He's a lunatic in body glitter. I think that explains it." said Brianna.

In Campus Mental Society

Rosie was sitting at an abandoned desk reading 'National Enquirer' or I think that's what it's called.

'Due to undercooked meat pies, there will be a zombie apocalypse in New York City from 530 p.m. to 1 at night. Predicted by crazed psychic,' said the article.

Rosie glanced at the clock. If she left now, she could make it there before all the action was gone. She hoped they where selling postcards.

"Brian – nA! There's supposed to be a zombie apocalypse this evening in New York!" Rosie turned the corner of a campus park to find a small group of people. Strangely familiar people.

"He killed Mr. Todd!" wailed Mrs. Lovett.

"I know how to take revenge on that sparkling piece of ****," whispered Brianna, picking up the shiny razor from the ground. "Elissa, could you please buy a pack of matches? And Tim, I mean Bob, go buy me a pack of box wine. Alice, go find the hatter."

Everyone looked at her strange.

"What about Mr. Todd? Revenge isn't enough to bring someone back to life," pointed out Elissa.

"I have an idea for that to," Brianna replied quickly. "Now go! Get the supplies! And the Hatter!"

Everyone scattered off, scared by the urgency in her voice.

"What about that zombie apocalypse?" Rosie asked.

"I'll have my friend buy you a postcard and the evening paper."

"Your friend?"

"Yep! He's a roach."

"Whoa. I thought you were over rude, annoying guys. Remember Kyle Hamburger, Jacy Penney?"

"NO! HE'S A ROACH as in the BUG," shouted Brianna. "And how did you know about Kyle?"

"By the way, how are you going to kill Edward?" questioned Rosie. Way to change the subject. Two could play that game, but not today.

"I'll use this, beautiful, shiny, sharp, not-to-be-used-by-children razor to rip him apart and burn him."

"Oh." after a pause, "Why can't we make him into a meat pie?"

"ARGRHH"

"…Huh?"

"Because the pieces would reconnect."

"Oh. Right."

"Boxed wine is sooooooo cheap!" announced the arriving Tim-Bob. Following him was Elissa with a box of safety matches … and Alice and the Hatter.

"Good." Brianna cracked her knuckles and cackled. "Now start a fire."

Tim-Bob shrugged and threw the [remaining] wine into a puddle, and Elissa struck a match to it.

Just then, however, two nerds with buck teeth and granny spectacles walked up. "Hey, this isn't Central Park," said one.

"Yeah. I know it ain't. Which means there is no New York Swat team to protect you, is there?" replied Rosie.

The nerds ran away, followed by Edward.

"No need to burn him then," said Elissa, relieved she didn't have to watch a butchering.

"Now all that remains is the revival of Mr. Todd," said Mrs. Lovett.

end Chapter 8

Up Next: Alison in Wonderland

-Wonderland or Underland?

-Questioning the white Queen's Justice

-Return to the upperworld

Followed by: A Message from our President

-Economy is boring