ImaxChapter 9 Allison in Wonderland Part 2 (The one, the only, ImaxChapter)

When Allison opened her eyes, it was all dark. Suddenly, spotlights popped out of nowhere (and turned on). Oh no! They'd found her! "It is a federal crime to own a blankie when you are past 3 years of age! Come out with your hands in the air!" a voice boomed.

Allison woke up screaming and in a cold sweat. It was just a dream. There was no one there to steal her blankie and toss her in jail. She sat up, feeling extremely whoozy. Whoa, she thought. I must have fallen asleep in the kitchen. Due to the fact her head was spinning, Allison most likely didn't notice that the room was cylinder shaped. At least they left some breakfast for me, Allison's mind said to her mind as she got up and tottered towards the glass table. She snatched up the bottle of liquid. Just like Anna to eat all the muffins, Allison thought and downed all the liquid.

"This isn't my kitchen!" Allison exclaimed, looking up. Everything was huge. "Where the [censored] am I?" she burst into tears again. Then she noticed something else. All of her clothes were huge. Well, some of them still fit.

So, clad in her undies, Allison began to explore her new surroundings. There were really big doors, which, of course, being the size of a field mouse, Allison couldn't open. There was also a red curtain that was CGI-d in. Behind it was a busted open door which was EXACTLY the right size for Allison. Seeing only a green screen on the other side, she walked through . . .

And was/would have been disappointed immediately. All there was in the barren landscape was a pair of blue spectagoggs. "OOOH!" shrieked Allison."My favorite color!" She put them on, not realizing spectagoggs have been highly revamped by secret underground spectagoggs gangs for the past three hundred years.

Everything burst into a whole spectrum starting at blue-gray-red and ending with blue-gray-black, full of the typical whimsical shapes. "I think I've been here before," Allison said. "Once upon a time on an Imax Adventure…"

"You're not Alice," said a voice.

Allison turned around to see an albino guy in a playboy bunny leotard. "No I am not," she announced, trying not to gag. "And you're not the white rabbit."

"You're right. I'm Hugh Hefner's 104th son."

"WUAAGHRRFNKL!" screamed Allison. "BAD MENTAL IMAGRY!"

"Bad memories, you mean."

Allison ran away screaming. When she stopped running, she was in front of a large table. Ha! Allison thought. Think you can defeat me that way, eh?

She started to climb the tablecloth, which was actually pulling it down ever so slightly and was soon showered with silver and china.

"Oy! Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk!" cackled a voice. A scraggly unidentified animal popped its head over the edge of the table and took a snort of whatever was in its hand (drugs). "Yer neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…!" It howled, then hiccupped some more.

Another animal joined in. "'Ere, 'ave my clothes," said the mouse, stripping/removing the unnecessary pieces of cloth because mice ALREADY HAVE FUR and tossing them down to Allison.

"Oh thank you!" Despite the fact that the clothes smelled like catnip and there was an eyeball strapped to the side, the clothes fit like a leather motorcycle glove.

"OOOO, muy guapa," said Allison in a perfect imitation of her perverted Spanish teacher's gravelly voice. Little did Allison know that the 'mirror' she was looking into was a pinup picture of the real Alice. Property of the Mad Hatter.

I'm sorry to rail on Tim Burton, but he's getting old. I had HIGHLY mixed feelings about 'Alice in Wonderland'. Like the Mad hatter. IT WAS SO HARD TO GET HIM IN CHARACTER! GRRRRR. And sorry if my writing sucks. I have writer's block, which is leading to a slight depression.