Since they had been rudely awakened, Sirius and Remus decided mutely to start their day. Sirius disappeared into his bathroom to shower, leaving Remus to do as he pleased. The werewolf was looking forward to a shower himself, but the grumbling in his stomach had him thinking of breakfast.

He was pleasantly surprised at how hungry he was. Even without the complications in previous transformations, he never had an appetite for days after. So, feeling things must be looking up, Remus set down the stairs humming to himself.

It was a new ordeal trying to use a pan with a clawed hand. After a few awkward moments, he gripped the handle well and whipped up a quick breakfast for Sirius and himself. It wasn't the nicest looking meal once he had finished, but it smelled heavenly to him just the same.

After pouring a generous portion for Sirius, he set a warming charm on his friend's plate and sat down to eat.

The horror of his latest nightmare was faded well. If there was a way to prevent himself from dreaming ever again he would gladly do it, even if it meant lopping off an arm. Though, he had to admit that he slept amazingly well with Sirius.

He flushed as he remembered Severus' innuendo. He may have been able to scoff it off as Sirius' had. Surely Sirius was able to make such a vehement denial because he saw no way that the two of them could be more than the remaining Marauders.

Remus couldn't blame him for that. He wasn't sure if Sirius ever swung that way. Hell, he wasn't sure if Sirius could even perform sexually. The man had gone without for twelve years--in the worst wizarding prison the world had seen--and was now forced to hide with two men.

It wasn't as though Lupin was harboring a secret, undying love for the man. He had always found Sirius attractive--as had most of Hogwart's during their day--and would always love him as the friend that he was. It's not to say he hadn't toyed with the idea when they were teenagers, but he wouldn't toy with it now. Sirius was helping him through a very ugly time and he was loathe to jeopardize their friendship to appease some primal part of his mind that was unendingly curious.

Sirius' reaction certainly helped cement his inkling idea. Perhaps he ought to thank Severus for clarifying it for him before he did something stupid.

"Perhaps you should sleep at night and prevent yourself from falling asleep at the table." Severus interrupted his thoughts. The man had managed to button his shirt by himself. "Since you appear to be well enough for... other endeavors, you will start treatment today."

Remus blushed and scowled. "I did sleep last night."

One of Severus' eyebrows arched and he chuffed. "Of course you did." The potions master turned away with a scowl and Remus tamped down the urge to throw something at him.

Sirius ambled in dressed only in a threadbare bathrobe. "Morning, gentlemen!" He eyed the plate on the sideboard and beamed at Remus as he dropped into a nearby seat with his breakfast. "Thank you, Moony. You didn't have to make us anything."

Severus scoffed from the corner and Remus realized that he hadn't made anything for the darker wizard at all.

"Severus, I'm sorry, I didn't think--"

"That seems to be a Gryffindor trait," The potions master frowned, carefully mixing a draught in a glass goblet with only his right hand.

Sirius looked confused, "Didn't you make something for Snape?" He whispered toward his flushed friend. Remus set his face in his hands and shook his head. The animagus laughed and clapped his hand on his friend's shoulder.

"There's plenty here, Snape, if you want some of mine," Sirius offered, breathing deeply of the yummy smells.

"That won't be necessary," Snape mumbled with less ire than when he spoke to Remus. "I find I don't have an appetite."

"You should eat something," Sirius said between bites, grunting in appreciation.

The darker wizard turned from the sideboard with the glass in his hand and scowled, "I do not need a nurse-maid." Sirius shrugged, his good deed done for the day. Snape set the goblet in front of Remus. "Drink this."

Remus obediently took it up and drank half, pausing for breath. He smacked his lips with a look of mild disgust. "What is it?"

"A combination of Feverfew herb, Devil's claw root, and a carefully leveled portion of a previously created elixir."

Lupin had finished drinking the remains of the glass as Snape spoke. He passed the goblet back and made a face. "What elixir?" Sirius interjected with a low tone.

Snape narrowed his eyes and idly put his hand in his pocket. "The roughly translated name is: Tonic of the Inner Wolf. It is a variation from Russia."

Sirius scowled and set his fork carefully onto the table. "The potion with liquid silver?"

Remus stiffened in his seat and found he could no longer breath.

"Yes."

Sirius stood slowly from the table, blue eyes hard as flint as he paced around the table like a predator after prey. "I told you he wouldn't take it."

The potions master sneered, "Too late, Black, he already has."

In a leaping tumble, Sirius launched at Severus and shook him about by the lapels. Snape's hand came from his pocket clutching his wand. He jabbed it viciously into Sirius' throat. The animagus stopped shaking him but didn't let him go.

"If you make him sick you evil bastard, I will cleave you into pieces!" Black hissed.

"Stop!" Remus shouted, pushing back his chair and moving around so that he stood beside the two men. "Sirius, let him go."

"Remus, he's poisoning you!" The animagus howled, trying to glare from the corner of his eyes since he didn't quite dare move his head with the wand digging into his neck.

"No, Sirius, I trust Severus with this," The werewolf lightly touched Sirius' shoulder, willing his friend to leave it be.

"Why, Remus? He's just fed you silver!"

"Because he's been there for me!" Remus howled, eyes flashing. He saw Sirius' face crumple and shutter but he was too angry to care at the moment. "You decided to gallivant off, Sirius. Lily and James were dead and the only other person that knew what I was could care less if I was dead too."

The wand at his throat wavered at that and Sirius turned his head finally as Severus' arm dropped to his side like dead weight.

"I couldn't help it, Remy," Sirius spoke quietly, voice tinged in pain.

"You didn't have to run off to find Pettigrew," Remus snapped. "You never could let things be. They would have found him and you never would have gone off. Never would have left. At least Severus' personality is reliable."

Sirius let go of Snape entirely, his tiff with the man was entirely forgotten as Remus' breakdown took priority. "I couldn't stand by and let that fucking rat get away with what he'd done!"

"But he did," Remus growled, "and the only friend I had left had just as well as died."

"It wasn't about you, Remus. Or me." Sirius raked his hands through his hair and began to pace.

"Forgive me for wanting to be a little selfish," Remus whispered brokenly. "Perhaps I should have followed suit and eaten a few children. Surely my being thrown to Azkaban to keep you company would have been an easier option than keeping you out of trouble."

The werewolf spun and stalked out of the room, heaving the table out of his way as he went. The heavy oak furniture fell on its side with a crash against the far wall, three chairs caught beneath it were broken to kindling.

"Damn his mood swings," Sirius grumbled, struggling to right the table and having little success.

"It was not a mood swing, Black. Lupin has just said to you what he has wanted to for the past thirteen years." Severus intoned, levitating the table with his wand and setting it upright.

"You don't know what you're talking about," the animagus growled.

Snape didn't bother to correct him again. Instead he leaned against the counter and watched as Black rearranged the kitchen to order.

"Stop fussing with that blasted chair and go talk to him," Severus finally snapped after watching for nearly twenty minutes.

"I have nothing to say at the moment," Sirius hissed.

"Perhaps you don't, but he might. This is good for him, Black, even if you can't take the criticism. Remember, he needs to purge the negative emotion and stigma's he has gathered about himself. He is still very much ill." Snape snatched a chair leg from Sirius' hands and pointed at the doorway with it.

"Fine," Sirius grunted. He stalked from the room and stomped up the stairs two at a time.

Snape sneered as he watched him go and fixed the broken seat easily with his wand. He was sure that Sirius had thought of doing the same thing but wanted to dawdle.

He distantly heard Black knock on Remus' door and sat down into the chair he had just fixed. Remus' outburst had affected more than Sirius. The lycanthrope's admission that he believed Severus would rather he be dead was a blow. Severus had never wanted Lupin dead. Well, maybe for a while after the Whomping Willow incident.

It was only after a careful reanalyzation of the events that Snape put the hatred in the right place. Namely, Sirius Black. The animagus had been the one to lure him to the tree knowing full well what was inside. Remus had no control over himself at the time.

If he was honest with himself, he had actually pitied Lupin for some time. It had been partly this pity that made him begin to research what could be done to help. After a few years of nothing forthcoming, he stumbled across a very old and highly unrefined potion. It had taken another two years before he had a working composition of Wolfsbane. Even now he still tweaked and fiddled with its components to perfect it.

After spending various amounts of time with Lupin during the trial runs, Severus had learned more about the man than he had known the entire time they were in school together. He began to grudgingly respect the hell that Lupin went through, even if he would never admit it to anyone but himself.

With a grunt, Severus decided to attempt a productive morning. He heard murmurs instead of shouts from Remus' room and snorted. Of course the close-knit duo would not be able to hold a grudge. At least he wouldn't have to referee.

...oOo...

Things between them had calmed considerably and now Sirius was reclined against Remus' headboard with the lycan laying across the foot of the bed staring at the ceiling.

"I never meant to leave you behind, Remy. I was too caught up in finding Peter."

"I know," Remus whispered. "I'm still mad at you for running like that. Probably always will be," he said matter-of-factly.

Sirius smiled bitterly at the wall, "I know."

"Doesn't mean I'm not overjoyed you've come back," Remus rolled onto his side and patted Sirius calf.

The animagus laughed, "It's certainly nice to be wanted."

The wolf flushed a little and rolled back to face the ceiling.

"You never did tell me why you trusted Snape." Sirius prodded gently.

With a soft sigh, Remus rubbed his thumbs into his eye sockets. "It didn't happen all at once, you realize?" He sat up and folded his legs underneath him so that he could face Sirius. "Did you know he did independent research to find the first Wolfsbane potion?"

"No," Sirius frowned.

"I still don't know why he started looking in the first place. I even asked Albus if he made him, I didn't want Severus to feel even more alienated from me by forcing him to do tedious extra work." Remus grinned at the memory. Albus had been so genuinely surprised that Lupin realized the Headmaster hadn't even known Severus was working on the potion.

"I had to tell him everything about how I felt, how I worked," Remus made a face, "it was horribly embarrassing at first... writing down every time I had a bowel movement for god's sake. Eventually it got to the point that I didn't have to tell him when something was no longer normal. I'd say, 'I slept past lunch.' and he would know it wasn't just my being lazy. He began to know my schedule better than I did."

"And because of that you trust him?" Sirius didn't look entirely convinced.

"Partly. He never told anyone about my being his test subject. Even in his publishing and notes he never once mentions my name or any telling characteristics. If he really only wanted me to drink his vile concoctions he wouldn't have done that for me." Remus smiled wistfully.

Sirius took a deep breath and held it for a moment before letting it out in a whoosh. He would simply have to accept Remus's faith in Snape.

"Alright, Remy. I'll try harder," the animagus promised.

"You don't have to," Remus sighed. "You've gone amazingly far already."

"Thank you for noticing," Sirius grinned.

"I just wish Severus could break away from whatever funk keeps him distant." Remus toyed with the coverlets.

"It's Snape," Sirius huffed. "It's his job to be cold and distant."

Remus shrugged, unable to deny it and they fell into a comfortable silence. The warmth of the morning sun sapped the energy from his bones. He had had a long, sleepless night before stumbling into Sirius' room. Then he had only had possibly three hours sleep before Severus woke them.

The lycan stretched out on his bed and flung the coverlets across his legs. He enjoyed the warmth at his side from Sirius and felt the pull of sleep sucking him into oblivion. He was just in limbo as he felt warm, chapped lips brush his forehead.

"Sweet sleep, Moony," Sirius' voice whispered.

The door clicked shut and Remus' eyes snapped open. A warm, wriggly mass spread through his stomach and he smiled into his pillow as he drifted off again.

...oOo...

When Remus woke again it was dark. His head felt stuffed with cotton and muted noises of laughter rang from downstairs.

With a pang, Remus realized he didn't dare go down there to investigate. It sounded as though more than just Sirius and Severus were in the house. In all likelihood, there could be a few Order members there. He didn't want them to see him like this.

He was grudgingly settling down to a long stay by himself when fate decided to go against him again. Pain lanced down his forearm and into each finger like long, hot needles. His clawed hand spasmed open and shut. Remus wanted to bite his tongue to keep from making any noise but remembered just in time not to. It would have been his luck that he would have cut his tongue clean off with his new, sharper teeth.

The agony was nearly crippling his whole arm to the shoulder. With a whimper, Remus knew he couldn't hide in his room with this. He had to tell Severus.

The door to his room banged open loudly as he pulled a little too hard. The sounds from downstairs stopped momentarily before continuing in a much quieter volume. Sirius soon appeared coming up the stairs.

"Remus, are you alright?"

The werewolf shook his head. "Where's Severus?" He grunted, again forcing himself not to chew on his tongue.

"Downstairs, wait a second," Sirius turned so quickly Remus was afraid he was going to fall down them.

Of course, Sirius couldn't be discrete when he was worried and so the whole house soon knew there was a problem as the animagus' banging footfalls were matched with yelling. "Snape! Something's wrong with Remus!"

Mercifully the man went quiet as, no doubt, Severus had found him and quailed him with a glare. Soon the potions master's head was bobbing up the stairs. He didn't even bother to ask what was wrong and drew Remus into his rooms.

"Curl your fingers," Snape demanded, watching the agony on Lupin's face as he tried. "Stretch them out."

"Merlin, it hurts," Remus moaned, unable to do more than make them twitch.

"What do you see, Lupin?"

The werewolf glanced at Snape, confused. Severus grabbed him by the wrist and Remus cried out in pain. "This, Lupin, what do you see?"

"I don't know," he gasped out.

Severus squeezed a little and growled, "No. Tell me."

"A-a claw," Remus glanced at Snape and knew he hadn't said enough. "A monster's claw."

"A monster's claw," Severus said mildly, still not releasing his hand. "This is your hand!" He erupted. "Yours! It is attached to your body!"

"Yes," Remus said in a small voice.

"What is it? What do you see?" Severus repeated, his voice was harsh.

"My hand," Remus whimpered, clenching his eyes shut.

A sound slap across his face drew him back. His cheek stung and his arm still laced with fire. Snape was snarling. "It is your hand. A clawed, disfigured hand that could crush a man's skull. Do you understand me?" Remus nodded, anger and revulsion roiling in his stomach. "What do you feel right now, Lupin? Are you angry with me?"

"Yes," Remus bit out.

Severus sneered, "Angry enough to hurt me? Tear out my throat?"

"No," Remus gaped, horrified.

"Good."

The potions master hauled him forward until Remus bounced off of his chest and stumbled back a step. Severus held up his crooked hand and shook it. "Look at it, Lupin. It has been part of your body for nearly two full days and you haven't even looked at it."

With a low, continuous whine, Remus turned his eyes painfully toward his hand and swallowed back the bile in his throat. It was hideous.

"What do you see?" Severus asked again, his voice much calmer.

"My hand," Remus said with little conviction but a lot of feeling.

"Curl your fingers," Snape instructed.

Remus nodded, concentrating on flexing his fingers. The pain increased unbelievably and his knees grew weak. Severus' free arm slung around his waist and held him upright. He dragged them both toward his bed and sat them down. He stayed close.

"Filter the pain, Lupin. Remember what it feels like to change, this is nothing," Severus hissed into his ear. Slowly his fingers curled down a bit further. "Remember your reversion, how your muscles and bones ache but feel achingly good. So good to be back in your own body." Snape's low voice soothed his raw nerves like salve.

"It does," Remus admitted in grunts. In another shaky moment his fingers curled into a fist.

"Remember the ache, Lupin." Snape drew in a shaking breath and spoke in a quavering voice, "I know you watch your hands when you change. Watch it, think of your hand, your normal hand... your human hand. Think of it, then make it."

"Wha--"

"Do it," Severus hissed.

So Remus watched, and concentrated. The pain flared white-hot and prickling. From the tips of his fingers down, it increased until Lupin was sure his hand would have been a mangled mass of flesh. He couldn't hold it in any longer and a fierce growling howl ripped from his chest and echoed in Severus' room.

He vaguely heard Sirius pounding on Snape's locked door. All he could really hear was the rushing of blood in his ears and Snape's incessant voice whispering that he could to it. When his hand first began to revert he was so surprised he almost stopped concentrating. Severus let out a triumphant shout and Remus found the strength to redouble his efforts.

The pain ebbed out slowly and Remus stared in shock at his normal hand. All five fingers and calloused palm. Severus had not yet released him.

"What do you see?"

Remus turned his head a fraction of an inch to look at Severus' face. The potions master looked proud and elated. Remus' heart-rate quickened and he held his breath. The man had never looked so human.

"My hand," he blurted. He flexed his fingers carefully and let out a breathy laugh, there was no pain.

"What was it?" Severus asked softly, finally letting Remus go but still not sitting back and away from him. His breath brushed across Lupin's cheek.

Remus watched as the white finger marks on his wrist filled with blood and stayed a brilliant crimson. He hadn't realized Severus was holding on so tightly. "My hand. It was always my hand."

"Very good, Lupin," Severus smiled a little, a mere curling at the corners of his lips. Remus was stunned.

"How did you... how did you do that?"

"I didn't do it, Lupin. You did." Severus smirked at Remus' gape.

"GOD DAMMIT WHAT IS GOING ON IN THERE?!" Sirius pounded at the door, effectively ruining the easy moment between them.

"Your dog wants in," Severus sneered, standing up and making himself busy by tidying a pile of books that were already neatly stacked.

Remus unlocked Snape's door and let Sirius in.

"What happened? What did he do?" Sirius barked, glaring daggers at Snape's back.

Lupin punched him in the shoulder, "This, Sirius," and he laughed as he held his hands in front of Sirius' face. "He did this!"

"Sweet Merlin," Sirius breathed. "Remus this is great!" The animagus hugged him to his chest and picked him off of the floor.

He set Remus back on his feet and ran into the hallway to send word to Albus. The Headmaster would be as happy as they were.

"Thank you, Severus," Remus called gently from the doorway. "I'm not sure how you knew how to do it, but I can't thank you enough."

Snape still stood with his back to him, "It's not over yet, Lupin." He turned his head so that one onyx eye peered over his shoulder. "But a bit of blind faith isn't always a bad thing."

Remus smiled and hesitated in the doorway. He gathered his courage and strode up behind Snape before he could lose his will. Before Severus could turn around, Remus wrapped his arms tightly around the man's waist and hugged him quickly. He was already out of Snape's room by the time Severus registered what had happened.

Damned bloody fool, Severus snarled to himself. Heedless of his attempt at ire, a deep-seated ache blossomed in his stomach. No one had dared touch him with such innocent intimacy as a hug since he was seven years old.