Chapter 14:

After a much needed refill…

Hermione glanced over at Luna and grinned sheepishly, "I'm sorry I'm rambling so much. I never really get the chance to talk about our relationship – not like other couples at least." She looked pensive, "My own fault I suppose."

Luna nodded, "Yes well I should think that it would have been everywhere if you two had wanted it known." She glanced at Hermione's pensive look, "But how did the two of you get together if you weren't working on the same project anymore?"

Hermione shook her head slightly, as though to clear her thoughts and looked back at Luna, "After we gave up the law we saw each other rarely, he had gone back to full time with his department and I was relegated to new projects. However, whenever we would pass each other in the lifts or the halls there was always a spark, a glimmer of possibility that neither of us could quite grasp." Her eyes unfocused themselves once more and Luna knew she was ensconced in memory once more.

"Our relationship changed again when Lucius saw me one day in … June, I think it was, crying my heart out like the weakling I was." Luna raised her brows at the bitter tone, but said nothing. "Ron had approached me …"

June 1999

"Hullo Hermione," said a quiet voice from behind the brunette's back as she was perusing some ingredients at the Apothecary's in Diagon Alley.

She jumped slightly, "Oh! Ron, good heavens, you startled me – what on earth are you doing here?!" She was rather puzzled as to why he'd be in an Apothecary's on a sunny, Saturday.

"I was looking for you."

Hermione wasn't too sure she liked the quiet, deliberate tone the red head was using; the seriousness wasn't something she was familiar with coming from him. "Ah, and why was that? Is everyone alright?"

He flushed, "Ye … well no, I mean … bugger!" He cursed loudly.

She lifted her hand towards him, eyes glancing concernedly, "Are you alright, Ron?"

He slashed the air with his hand, "No! I'm not alright, dammit!"

Hermione stepped back, running into the shelves in her attempt to stay clear of his passionate outburst. "Is Lavender ok, Ron?" she asked hesitantly.

His eyes hardened slightly, "This isn't about Lavender of all people. It's about me," he poked himself in the chest with his finger, "and, and … well you!"

Hermione gazed at him stupidly and managed a rather surprised, "Me?!"

Ron rushed forward, assuming her surprise meant a desire to hear more, and grasped her hand in his two larger ones, "Oh, Hermione! Gods, I was an idiot! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry! She's nothing to me; you, you, Hermione you've got to take me back! I love you! I'll never stray again, I promise! We'll get married and be happy! What do you say, Hermione?"

She stood there dumbfounded as Ron poured out his rather cheesy but seemingly heartfelt words, unable to do or say anything. Finally after a moment or two of stunned silence, her anger rising slowly, she bit out "How could you?"

He stepped back slowly, wary of the fire in her eyes. She repeated, "How could you even have the guts?! After everything you've done to her, after all you two have been through. You dare to say she's nothing?!" Hermione raked her eyes over him like he was a diseased slug, "Who are you?! Gods!"

Ron noticed a slightly tremor coming from Hermione's enraged form and whimpered softly, "Hermione?"

She exploded, "How in the name of Merlin did you ever come up with the idea that I would contemplate taking you back after everything you've done?! And now," she said in a tone implying how despicable and cowardly she thought he was, "now that you've turned your back on even her! How could I ever trust you again?!" She let out a short screech and dashed out of the store, yelling behind her "Don't come near me again Ron! EVER!"

All Ron could do was stand in the Apothecary's resembling a fish and trying to process exactly what had happened.

Further down the Alley, Hermione had slipped into Flourish and Blott's, heading towards her special spot at the very back of their store. She slid into one of the old but cushy chairs hidden behind stacks of books and began to cry.

"And what after all these years could possibly cause the cold, perfect Miss Granger to cry like a young girl?" drawled a male voice from behind the chair in which Hermione was seated.

She started, swiveling to look at the disturber with a red face and puffy eyes, still wet with tears. Her eyes, clouded though they were, knew exactly who they were looking at – Lucius Malfoy.

She spoke quietly, "How dare you…"

He interrupted with a tap of his cane on the floor, "No, how dare you? How dare you break down, now, over some meager little problem in the middle of a public place! You are a twit and a fool to cry this easily."

She stood up slowly, as though unsure of her legs' stability and turned bodily away from him. "You have no idea about my problems, Mr. Malfoy."

"You're right," his cold voice washed over her in waves, chilling her to the bone, "I don't, but you've made them my problems by sitting here and sniveling like a small child that didn't get their way. Grow up girl!" He spoke the last words harshly, each hitting her like new ocean waves intent upon destruction.

Her anger flared and she wiped her tears away hurriedly with the back of her hand, angry at herself and him. She turned around and Lucius Malfoy had to fight the urge to smirk at the blazing anger in her eyes.

She took a step towards him, paused, took a breath and then took another rather menacing step. "Perhaps," she purred in a controlled voice that very few people who knew her would recognize, "Mr. Malfoy, I've grown up. Perhaps," she swept her arms out, "that is why you find me, sniveling," she sneered at the word, "in the back of a bookshop."

His eyes shuttered, trying to contemplate the meaning of her words. She smirked again and continued in that extremely dangerous tone of voice that he would never admit did shocking things to his control and his lower … extremities.

"Perhaps Mr. Malfoy, growing up is the reason we all hurt and cry. Or perhaps I cannot be allowed to act like any other young fool since I lived through a war?" She came closer to him and was now almost toe to toe with his dragon-hide boots. "Since I was tortured and suffered through it? Since I have dealt with hate from the moment I was introduced into this society? Perhaps Mr. Malfoy, perhaps I grew up a long time ago."

He did not reply, but merely raised his eyebrow, as he was wont to do, and waited to see if she had finished.

She lifted her chin up and looked him straight in the eye, purring distinctly now, her eyes shining with an emotion he could not recognize. "Perhaps you have no clue of how grown up I truly am, Lucius." His name slipped off her lips as a whisper, an invitation of something he couldn't quite grasp and he snapped.

He gripped her shoulders and brought her flush against his chest, "You know not the games you play, Miss Granger. You aren't ready for the Premiers, stick to your junior leaguers or you're likely to get far more than just hurt." With that last staccato word, he turned on his heel and swept out of the back sanctuary, leaving Hermione holding herself and wondering at the slight tremors that were still flooding her body.

Hermione glanced up at Luna, her eyes shining with emotion, "He stood there and insulted me until I broke, shattered to a million pieces."

She grinned much to Luna's surprise, "After that we met for lunch every Wednesday. I think for him, well I know since he said so, I was one of the only people who treated him as an equal. I didn't look down on him or attempt to gain his favor. A moth drawn to the flame as it were."

"He helped me through a rocky time and our relationship grew – we were never really friends – what we shared was honestly beyond that, even at the start." Luna nodded, acknowledging a comprehension of the situation.

"When did things really begin to change though?" Luna asked quietly, knowing Hermione would need some direction to the story.

Hermione glanced up and offered a half-smile in acknowledgement of the guidance, "When Teddy became unmanageable and Andy was being evasive, Lucius stepped in and offered assistance and a male role for Teddy – something I'm grateful for still."

Hermione sighed, "Harry was too young for those expectations to be laid on his shoulders – he played with Teddy and loves him like a son – but Harry was very much still a young, lost teenager back then and Teddy needed someone comfortable in their own skin."

Hermione sniffed a little and Luna saw her eyes pool with glistening tears. "And when Andy told me she was dying due to cancer, he was the one I ran to. Harry and Ron knew her, but not as I did," Hermione shook her head, "they wouldn't have understood."

November 2000

The Tonks Home

"Andy, what is wrong?!" Hermione was somewhat frantic. Andromeda had been getting more and more tired over the past few months and that night had collapsed while cooking dinner. She wouldn't allow Hermione to call a Healer or take her to St. Mungo's.

"You haven't been eating properly and you can barely stand on your own! Clearly you know something and haven't said; you've got to tell me!" She sat down next to her friend and mentor, took Andy's hands and looked into her eyes, "You're my best friend Andy, please don't keep this from me."

Andy drew a shuddering breath, "That's why, oh that's why I haven't told you! Goddess this isn't fair to you. Oh Hermione, you've been the light in my life since the war. You're an angel and Merlin knows I needed your help. I'm not sure what your fate is darling, but I've been lucky that it was twined with mine for a short time."

Hermione looked at her questioningly, trying not to piece together the fragments that were beginning to make sense, "But Andy …"

Andy interrupted with a soft squeeze of Hermione's hands, "Hermione, I've lived a full life and I've lived it the best way I felt I could. I loved with all my heart and never looked back. I'm not afraid to die now. I've got cancer darling, and I only have a few weeks," Hermione drew a deep, gasping breath and Andy shushed her.

"My little one, I wish it wasn't so, but it's my time. I've lived and loved and that's all anyone can ever ask for." Andy was rubbing soft circles on Hermione's back.

Hermione glanced at Andy's face, tears staining quick tracks down her cheeks, and asked brokenly, "How … how long do you have?"

Andy sighed softly, "The healers think it's a matter of weeks now. I'm hoping to stay until Christmas, my darling."

Hermione cried softly, lamenting another friend soon to be lost. "It's not fair."

"Oh, honey, don't say that. I'm so sorry that I have to leave you and Teddy, and even Lucius now that he's come around – but it's time." Andy's eyes glowed softly, "I'll be able to see my little girl and my Ted." Andy looked at Hermione with glittering eyes, "You wouldn't begrudge me that? Would you?"

Hermione swallowed, "No, no I wouldn't. But, Teddy? What will happen to him?"

Andy took Hermione's hands in her own, "I was hoping you might take guardianship over him. I know it's a lot to ask of you, but he already looks to you as a sort of mother figure and it would be the easiest transition. Plus you'll have Harry and Ron and probably even Molly to help you out with him if you need."

Hermione nodded quietly, thinking over the information that had been dumped on her so quickly.

December 25th, 2000

The sounds of tears and emotion echoed in the silent wizarding graveyard, as a humble little group gathered together once more to say farewell to a friend.

"Oh, Andy …." Hermione sighed brokenly, tears making their way down her cheeks softly without abating, as she watched the casket slowly disappear under the increasing dirt. Taking a last look at the dark red rose in her hand, she then flung it into the grave.

A familiar voice murmured, "She's in a better place than anyone of us could have provided for her – remember that Miss Granger."

Hermione nodded and turned, "I do Mr. Malfoy, I do. I just … I just don't know what I'm going to do without her."

He nodded stoically and Hermione caught a glimpse of eyes that were not as distant and cold as usual. He glanced around as though ensuring no one was watching and Hermione frowned slightly, puzzled by his behavior. Then, without warning, he pulled her to him and cradled her head against his broad chest.

Hermione was so shocked that she froze for a moment, and then as she recognized his heart beat against her ear and registered the comfort he'd wrapped her in, she broke down. Sobbing, she clung to him as a lifeline, knowing she might simply drift away if someone didn't fully anchor her.

"Lucius was able to be there for me, he had known her – had been her friend – he was devastated, even if no one would ever have known. When she passed away and guardianship was handed down to me, then we dealt with our grief separately." Hermione's hands shook softly and Luna took them into hers, offering a silent support.

"I was still in shock and working to heal Teddy – trying to explain to that poor, little boy why one more person had left him. I didn't see Luc for probably about two months – avoidance mostly – mutually."

Hermione took a deep breath, as though letting go of her sorrow, "But then came the Moscow trip. We went in February, almost exactly two months after Andy's death. Teddy stayed with Harry for the weekend – this was our last trip concerning the laws as I'd told my department head that I needed to be home." Hermione ran a hand over her hair to smooth it out.

"Anyways, it was cold," she gave a little shiver of memory, "Goddess, warmth was a rarity. We'd done a day of presentations; we were both exhausted. We stopped to grab a drink at some Russian tea house and we both ended up drinking far more than we should have." She rolled her eyes at Luna, "I woke up the next morning with a very nude Lu wrapped around a very nude, achy me." She grinned softly, "He woke up approximately two minutes after I did, while I was still processing and attempting to grasp exactly what had happened. His arm tensed, eyes widened, mouth gaped, and well … general stiffening occurred. Oh, Luna, it was priceless, so I simply asked if he wanted to go to coffee." Hermione was as close as Hermione could get to giggling without actually doing so, and Luna smiled enjoying her friends' happiness.

"And so that was how it all began, our relationship. We simply went on from there, and here we are – happier in some ways and probably more miserable in others." Hermione said bitterly.

Luna raised a brow, "And how is that?" She was remembering Hermione's comments earlier about not being able to discuss the relationship.

"Well I never really went out of my way to tell anyone, never shouted it from the rooftops as it were. I suppose for once I wanted people to notice that something had changed without my telling them so." Hermione's eyes flashed for a moment with long suppressed pain and then returned to their usual sparkling hazel.

"And by people you mean your well-meaning dunderheads?" Luna asked sagely.

"Of course," the brunette replied with a sigh, "but they haven't after all this time, and I think it's finally time I told them."

"How has Lucius handled that?"

"He's angry that I haven't told them, but it's not as if he's taken out an ad in the paper either."

"Oh Hermione …"

"What?! He hasn't! He hates public displays of affection," she looked down, "sometimes I wonder if he merely married me to make sure he'd have a consistent bed partner."

"Hermione!"

"Well, he has no trouble saying the words or going through the motions in private; why on earth can't he do it once in a while in Diagon Alley or somewhere where people would notice?!"

"Maybe he's respecting your wish that things remain quiet?"

"That's only because I don't want him to run away scared when he realizes how much of a liability I am!"

"Oh dear."

"Indeed."