Dark Materials And Its Uses.
Malfoy looked down to the book the Dumbledore girl left at the table. Had she just been sneaking around?
Surely, she did it for Potter and wanted to spy on him, but he didn't really understand why she should have helped him with finding the book he needed. Would she have done it if she knew that he only needed it to repair a dark object? A dark object which should make him able creating a way to invade that School, which would serve to break it down?
This school won't ever be the same if it lost the one who made it like it currently was.
But that Dumbledore girl made him curious and he grabbed the book, looking around as if someone could observe him taking her advice. He quickly ran through the pages, but it was of no use for him. What he needed had to content darkness, as if it was created by the dark made flesh itself, worse than anything that the little Dumbledore girl could possibly have ever imagined.
He threw the book back on the table and quickly made his way out of the library, grunting in anger. This was just a mess. It was anyway ridiculous consulting books, they did not conform with reality in any way.
The dark things weren't as complex as people thought of them. Just as Snape taught them in their very first DADA lesson, they were alterable and thoroughly obscure. Some things hid ancient dangerous powers inside, powerful and patiently waiting to be released. They almost pulse with dark power, respond to fear, unconsciousness and cruelty, as if they were alive, just waiting to devour and absorb the light. And in spite of the hazardousness they emanated, the exposure to them was rather intoxicating, affecting, but thrilling as if you always were in great danger.
Draco was caught by this feelings, but the smooth excitement that had ran though his veins at the very beginning had almost faded away and left nothing but despair which digged his way deep into his heart.
He failed.
He was about losing everything and he knew it.
He'd just overestimated himself, thinking of himself being able to save his family, his mother, his own life. But there seemed hardly to be a chance, because he was just too weak, too fucking bloody stupid.
Pictures of his wildest nightmares came true, tracked him even in the middle of the day, already petrified him of the worst happening, being killed by the most dangerous man of the wizarding world.
And at that first moment he had looked into the eyes of the little Dumbledore girl, this torture started. That's why he tried to avoid her, even her curious gaze at him, in spite of him wanting to return it, asking himself why looking at her affected him that much.
He clenched his left fist, as his arm began to get goose bumps, began to tremble.
As he got to know who she was and that her parents were recently murdered by death eaters, every single sight of her, even the knowledge of her being in the same room like him tortured him with cruel memories. Every thought of his initiation rite let his left hand ache, let his body shiver as he remembered the innocent people he had to torture until they had lost their mind, until death finally released them from their insufferable pain.
He could almost feel the excitement that it had left, but also the deep sense of horror and guilt.
But most intense was the wave of power which had overwhelmed him as he took their lives. It was as if their life force was under his control and increased his power. He'd never felt that almighty, untouchable and invincible. It had been the most ghastly thing in his life he had ever felt.
Draco speeded up his pace and headed to Myrtle's toilet, tiptoeing past the aurors who patrolled in almost every corridor of the castle. After he shut the door behind him, he felt as if his chest tightened, every breath he took burned his core, he gulped and felt his legs wobble. He sank down to the floor, overwhelmed by the sudden weakness that broke him down.
"It is you again! Poor boy..."
He was hardly able to look at the translucent form of the girl in front of him, his sight was blurred and black shadows clouded his mind. He wanted to shy that annoying ghost of Myrtle away, but there was nothing coming out his mouth than weak pants and coughs. He pressed his hand against his chest, gasping for air and tried to calm down.
"Let yourself go..."
Draco looked at her with heavy eyelids, picking himself up and tottering forward, crying out angrily. He wasn't letting it happen that his mission would destroy him, he would rather burn that bloody woodpile that he had to rearrange!
"Leave me alone.", he snarled at Myrtle.
"Don't fight back your tears. It actually would hurt you more than accepting being vulnerable."
He quickly pointed out his wand at her, but she didn't move an inch. Whatever he could have done to her, it didn't scare her at all, she'd anyway already been dead. But she knew when to leave and flushed herself down a toilet, howling with great sorrow.
Draco's grip loosened and his wand fell to the ground, clapping with a strange noise, resounding at the high walls around him and left emptiness behind. Draco touched his cheeks, warm and slightly wet of silent tears. He swallowed heavily.
I am Draco Malfoy.
He would never let anything weakening him that way.
But he'd already found out himself always have put up a big front with false self-assuredness, strength and boldness. He'd always hidden behind his name, his family and the part he had to play that he was given by his father. It never had really been himself. His mother had constantly tried to keep up the real Draco inside him who just cared about his family and forgot about the dark, traditions and duties. That boy had left long ago.
But now even the strong and esteemed Draco Malfoy had left. He was just weakened by his splendid talent dragging himself into more misery than he already had to suffer from before.
He gently rubbed his temples and wiped away the traces of his tears. He would have to find a way to make progress in his mission. And also if his second option was a preposterous one, he'd no other choice than trying it out.
Draco shivered with reluctance. He would not let anything bring himself down. He'd already planned everything through, even the worst.
He reached out for his wand and pulled out a gleaming galleon and held it right in front if his face. Now he would be able to prove his abilities. He would show that he could as well bring other people down than himself.
He tapped his galleon, on which he had worked the Protean Charm, with the tip of his wand and it heated up immediately. There was just one thought left in his mind.
It's time to act.
"You really don't want t join us in the Three Broomsticks yet?", Harry asked and put an arm around Alanis' shoulder as the four made their way to Hogsmeade.
"I can't. I have to visit my grandfather first. I suppose he would not even look at me any more if I miss it."
"I guess you could be happy if he would throw you out.", Ron chuckled and Hermione jostled him that he almost fell down into the metre high snow.
Alanis was in fact really reluctantly leaving her friends behind in the friendly warmth of the Broomsticks, but she headed to the Hog's Head and stopped to look at the house with its grey weather beaten walls, the leak windows and roof.
She wasn't surprised that only two hooked figures sat in the bar, but the whole remaining pub was empty. Although a open fire illuminated and warmed up the room, Alanis felt as if the room temperature was even lower than outside, as she stepped in.
Aberforth looked up from cleaning some cups, but she couldn't read any expression on his face.
"Abe!", she called shyly, smiling with all the warmth that she could afford that moment.
He just answered reluctantly.
"Alanis."
No warm greeting, no smile, nothing. She felt her shoulders drop and looked to the floor. But why should she lie too?
She was perhaps as much less pleased to see him. But it hurt her that he wasn't able to give her the love that he always pretended to have for her and that she had been accustomed to when she had been a child. What the hell did change it?
She stepped closer and tried to ignore the glances from the two strangers at the fireplace.
"How are you, Abe?"
He just frowned.
"I always told you not to call me that."
Alanis flinched at his harsh voice. It was so easy turning around and leaving, but her conscientiousness made her stay. But she couldn't help herself growing angry.
"I just wanted to say hello. The others are waiting for me in the Three Broomsticks."
"The others?"
But she knew why he really had been upset. If she honestly was interested in Aberforth and the Hog's Head, she would have managed to take her friends there. She could not have shown more apparently that even Alanis herself didn't want to stay in the Hog's at any cost.
"Harry Potter and his friends. They treat me as if I've always been with them, with more kindness I ever expected", she said and tried to hard not to sound reproachfully.
"Well, then you shouldn't let them wait too long."
How much she wanted to obey these words!
"But tell me how everything's going."
Aberforth sighed heavily and put the cup away, which didn't really look cleaner as before.
"If people would be remembered that the pub exists, they would perhaps enter. And to your information, girl, it is getting much worse. Everything's got more dangerous. No one dares even to take one step out of the front door. But how could you know, cuddled up there in that fantastic school, where everything is alright and save?", he said and almost spat his last words at her.
"Albus does remember everyone that we are threatened by dark forces and he urges us to beware of running into danger! And he says that we can only face the dark together!"
"Of course the genius Albus just knows what to do! But does he know of the ones outside his walls? Does he know of the dangers wehave to face?"
Aberforth smiled sarcastically.
"I don't want to argue with you about Albus! I believe that he and the Order will know how to defend ourselves.", Alanis bit her lip.
Aberforth shook his head eagerly.
"Albus just overestimates his possibilities and he just follows his own interests. He still thinks that what he decides is the best thing. But believe me, girl, he may be wise and skilled and whatever else, but he's also an old man like me. And he's running out of time."
Alanis looked at him with her mouth open, disgusted of Aberforth's dislike of his own brother, such an adorable man.
"Don't look at me like that! You'll find out yourself by the time, girl.", Abe grumbled and patted his stomach, as if he was just heaving had a good meal to his whole satisfaction.
"Albus won't ever be following his own interests! He acts for the sake of the commonalty!", Alanis pretended, but Aberforth looked at her with a most pleased expression.
"And that, in fact, is the main problem."