A/N: I know many of you are still frustrated at the pace. I want to remind those that may have forgotten (if it helps anyway) that I'd written at least half of this story before I began posting, and that was well over two years ago. I do apologize if it seems to be dragging. So, in an attempt to help you vent some frustration, I bring a new chapter early! And to tell you that, YES dammit, there is progress, I promise. There are a few more Snape/Sirius rough bouts that lead to … other rough bouts coming soon. And our first snoggage between everyone! So… thank you for your honesty and continued reading. I hope that you aren't so disappointed you leave the story altogether.
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Remus rolled over in his bed and nearly fell out of it as his eyes cracked open to see a dark figure in his chair.
Severus sat quietly, a book open in his lap though he was not looking at it. He was gazing out of the window, his palm flat on the page as though holding his spot as he ruminated. He didn't realize he was being watched, too busy in his head.
Remus thought it would be possible to lay there and watch him for quite some time. His face was soft and smooth, not set and lined from a scowl.
"You should be sleeping, Lupin." Severus didn't glance from the window, didn't even so much as blink.
"I thought I'd wake up just to irritate you," Remus murmured with a small grin. To his pleasant surprise Severus smiled at him, very slight but his face was still soft and it reached his eyes. "Are you feeling alright?"
Snape nodded lightly and turned from the window, glancing at Remus and then back down to his book. He didn't speak again, only read quietly as Remus watched him. It was comforting and brought a lazy smile to Lupin's face.
"Where's Sirius?"
"Licking himself somewhere most likely," Severus said mildly, the small smile still tipping his lips.
"Severus!" Remus gaped, laughing into his pillow and rolling onto his stomach with a groan. He sat up and noticed that Snape dropped his book back to his lap and looked at him. "What time is it?"
"Late afternoon," Severus told him, closing the text and setting it into the seat beside him. "Are you hungry?"
"A little," Remus admitted, staring toward Snape with confusion. The wizard was being entirely too agreeable.
"Come on then," Severus stood, cinching up his robe and waiting patiently at the door as Lupin rolled out of bed and onto his feet.
Remus walked beside Snape down the stairs, the potions master keeping a decidedly slower pace than usual.
Snape pulled a chair out at the table once they reached the kitchen and gazed expectantly at Lupin. With a stuttering step, Remus eventually walked across to the table and sat down, eyes wide as Severus slid him to the table and walked to the stove.
"Would you prefer something light, or can your stomach handle something heavier?"
"Something light… er, please," Remus muttered. Snape nodded and he watched as Severus moved with ease around the kitchen, sliding pans and chopping herbs with speed and agility. Before long, delicious smells wafted from the pans and Remus felt saliva puddle in his mouth.
Severus slid his meal onto a plate and set it in front of him. Remus took a bite and rolled his eyes heavenward. Snape set a glass of water in front of him and sat down across the table.
"This is delicious," Remus praised. A lovely omelet with basil and tomato, the lightest he had every touched.
Snape snorted and crossed his arms over his chest as he watched Remus eat. "Did you think a potions master wouldn't know how to cook?"
Remus paused and grinned, "I've never really thought about it."
So Remus ate quickly, grunting in satisfaction now and then. When he finished he set his fork in his plate and leaned back to look at Severus. The dark wizard was still watching him, face relaxed and unreadable. "If I had meals like that every day, I'd be fat in a week."
Snape raised an eyebrow, "I'll be sure to care-package to you while I'm gone then. You're far too thin."
Remus flushed in embarrassment and looked down at his empty plate.
"It's not something to be ashamed of Lupin," Snape interrupted. "It's nothing regular meals won't fix."
"You're being awfully…" Remus frowned, searching for the right word.
"Uncharacteristic?" Severus sneered.
"Something like that," Lupin admitted, he wrapped his fingers around his glass and stared at the warming water.
"Perhaps it is entirely characteristic of me, and what you know is a lie."
Remus felt his eyes widen and he glanced up at Snape. The man was smirking and he knew he was lying. Lupin tried to puzzle it all out and could only come up with one conclusion. "I'm not dying or anything am I?"
Severus laughed once, a bark that startled Remus. "No, Lupin. No more than normal at any rate."
The lycan grinned and relaxed marginally, searching Snape's face at his leisure.
"Lupin," Severus said softly, lacing his fingers together beneath his chin, "I need to understand something and you have to understand that it is… extremely difficult for me to ask."
Remus sat straight, chest tight and nodded.
"What do you see when you look at me?" Severus kept his gaze tight, fixed on Lupin's though a twitch at the corner of his mouth told an enormity of the trouble he had asking such a question.
Remus smiled lightly, "I see… an intense, dark man; trained from birth to be a dark wizard, the helper of all evil. I see a man who hasn't taken care of himself for some time, too thin, unkempt and too hard skinned for friends."
Severus' face shuttered and his steady gaze fell to the table. Lupin felt his stomach clench, he had actually hurt Severus, and the potions master had let him see.
"What I know," he continued softly, "is that what you see is often a lie. I know that you are a dark man, struggling to hang onto the light, the largest aid for good; and you do it without gaining any acknowledgment. I know that you don't take care of yourself because you don't have the time, and you think no one cares enough about you to make you."
A small, sour smile curled Snape's face and he returned his intense dark gaze to Lupin's. Hurt could still be found there, but it had been soothed well with Remus' words.
"Why?"
Snape blinked at him in mild surprise. "I need to be sure of what you really intend." The potions master stood slowly, clearing away the table with no hurry.
"I'm not sure I understand." Remus watched the man's back as he moved around the kitchen, wishing that he knew what was going on.
"It was important to know if you were deluded into some iconic idea of what I am," Severus paused and turned slightly so that he could look at Remus beyond his shoulder. "I am pleasantly surprised that you are not."
"What does that have to do with my supposed intent…" Remus trailed off, fingers running along the grooves of the tabletop on their own accord.
"That, Lupin," Severus stilled and turned completely toward him, "is entirely up to you."
"What is that smell?!" Sirius stumbled into the kitchen, breaking the nervous tension that had filled the room. He sniffed at the air and all but pushed Severus out of his way to get to the pans.
"Curb your animalistic diatribe you imbecile," Snape growled, pushing Sirius away from the pan. Sirius grumbled but complied surprisingly easily. Remus looked between the two men and found a lingering tension that he had no clue about.
Severus rooted in the cupboard and withdrew a clean plate, dumping the remains of Lupin's lunch from the pan into it. He dropped it unceremoniously in front of Sirius and tossed a fork toward him. Sirius looked surprised but didn't refrain from delving in. "I assumed you'd drag your carcass down here once you got upwind of my cooking."
Sirius stuck his tongue out at the man and grumbled—though he did not deny Severus' statement and continued to shovel food into his face.
The sudden smell of brimstone filled the kitchen moments before a brilliant burst of flame blinded the three of them. Fawkes trilled pleasantly and landed on the back of a nearby chair, eyeing Sirius' plate with interest. The animagus curled his free arm around it and growled at the phoenix. The crimson bird rolled its eyes and hopped about until it faced Severus.
"Am I to presume you are what the Headmaster has sent to assist me with my belongings?" Severus deadpanned.
The bird whistled low and took to flight again, disappearing into the hall and up the stairs. Snape pinched the bridge of his nose and grumbled quietly before stalking from the room to save his more precious items from the bird's enthusiastic claws.
Silence remained in the kitchen as Sirius ate and Remus ruminated on what it was exactly that had happened. After a time, they could hear Severus talking quite heatedly to Fawkes and the occasional bump from upstairs.
"Has something happened to Severus since I've been asleep?" Remus asked innocently.
Sirius nearly choked on his meal and pounded his chest as his eyes watered. "Excuse me?"
"He's being very pleasant, and surprisingly open… Did you say something to him?" The weight of Remus' gaze shifted and he now stared at Sirius with open accusation.
"I told him some things, yea…" Sirius shrugged and picked at his plate. "Why? What has he said?"
"He wanted to know what I thought of him," Lupin ran his thumb back and forth across his lips as he thought. "He said it was important for him to know. Then something about what I intend, though I don't know what he could be talking about."
Sirius slowly set his fork down and stared Remus plainly in the face. "Moony, I think the man's trying to persuade himself about your feelings toward him. Maybe he's actually considering it."
Remus' eyes widened until Sirius thought surely they would fall out of his head. "What did you say to him?" He whispered, his voice choked but tainted with awe.
"The truth," Sirius smiled wryly. "That you care for him, and that he's a git if he thinks differently."
"Sirius, this morning—"
"Was lovely," Sirius swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat, "But I know that you don't want me Remus, and I'm willing to support you with this. With him." The animagus nearly choked on the last word and fixed Lupin with a level gaze.
Remus was torn between elation and remorse. He had only just had a taste of an easy, happy life with Sirius Black only hours ago, and already it was gone. He could never have an easy relationship with Severus, it would always be an uphill struggle. The two of them had too many scars—not only physical—that would keep them both second guessing. But it would be deep and solid if they could manage to overcome their pasts. He didn't know what he wanted, and it seemed Sirius had made his mind up for him yet again.
"Sirius, you're a fool," He whispered as he stood from his chair.
The animagus did the same and reached out a hand to touch him but Remus stepped backward. "Moony…"
"No, Sirius!" Remus snapped he stalked to the entrance and spun on his heel to stare hurt-felt at his friend. "I wanted you both, and I know that's selfish and wrong but it was my choice to make! Not yours."
Sirius growled and hurled his plate across the room as Remus stomped up the stairs.
"Dammit Remus! STOP—" Sirius lost his energy and sank to his seat, dropped his head to his hands, "stop fucking with me," he whispered.
…oOo…
Remus burst into Snape's room, barely noticing that the man had no doorknob and nearly tripped over a pile of books in the middle of the floor.
Severus looked irritated, snatching things from Fawkes' reach and cast a cool look toward him. "What is it?"
"What did Sirius tell you?" Remus demanded, hands twitching to grab hold of anything so that he could break it from sheer frustration.
The potions master carefully lay down the book in his hands and shut down, Remus could pinpoint the exact moment the man thought he had been fooled. The color fled his face and then raced back to his cheekbones in stark, angry red.
"Lies, apparently," Severus grit through his teeth.
Remus struggled through the mess on the floor and nearly had to leap across the desk to get a hold of the potions master as he tried valiantly to flee to the bathroom. He nearly tackled them both to the ground, but managed to maintain standing. He held tightly to Snape's waist and shook his head vehemently. "He didn't lie, he didn't."
Snape's tense, pinched face slowly went placid and he stared down at Lupin with confusion.
"Is it part of what's wrong with me? Something that the wolf is creating? Tell me, can I fix it, because I can't take it anymore, I'll do whatever you tell me just make it stop!" Remus hyperventilated and clung to Snape's robes.
Severus shook him free and sat him down at the desk. "What are you blathering about?" He snapped.
"How can I want you both?" Remus ground out, eyes nearing tears and face aflame. "It's not natural… am I a bigger freak than I thought? Some… some incubus, flesh obsessed creature that wants to bed two of the men that mean the most to me and then when the full moon comes about, tear out their throats and wade about in their blood?"
And he broke down.
Severus was aghast, unsure of what could be done, or even what it was exactly that he had just witnessed. He had tried, very carefully and precisely to get Lupin's true reaction that afternoon. He wanted to show the pale, greying man that he could court properly. But this… this wasn't what he had expected from his exertion.
The lycan could barely hear past the blood pounding in his ears or the whoosh of air from his lungs. He tried harder though when Snape's face was suddenly bobbing in front of him and the man forced his face up. Long, potion stained fingers were wiping the tear trails from his cheeks.
"Lupin," Severus started but paused and started again. "Remus, did you hear what you've just said?"
He shook his head, pinned as it was between Snape's palms.
"You've answered your own questions you fool." The barb didn't sting, and unless Remus was fooling himself he could have sworn it was a little endearing. "Black was one of the first people to look upon you for what you are and not shy away. He's been your friend for years and has never shown you false loyalty. That's why you love him, isn't it? That's why you want him, and it isn't unnatural to want someone that makes you feel human."
In that moment, Remus hiccoughed and could have sworn on a stack of bibles that he would never adore Severus more than at this very second in his life. Snape began to draw back, eyes shuttered even though he had spoken with a soft, whiskey sweet voice to soothe him.
Remus clutched at his hands before he could retreat and dragged him forward, not realizing he had been using unnatural strength to do so, and held Snape tight against him. He pressed his face to Severus' neck and ran one hand through the man's hair—still so soft, even if it was greasy—and muttered into his neck.
"What about you, Severus?"
"I don't know," the potions master admitted quietly, stiff in Lupin's embrace. "I have done very little to gain such trust from you."
"You've never changed," Remus whispered, lips grazing Snape's neck and he licked his lips unconsciously and tasted the man he clung to. "Despite what I am, and how badly you were treated by my friends, you took it upon yourself to help me. No one has done something that selfless for me after my mother died."
"Albus—"
"Did not insist on your help," Remus interrupted, running his fingers in slow circles across Severus' tense shoulders. "I asked him once to let you stop, not to force you to do something to make you hate me more."
"I pitied you, that is hardly a good reason to grant someone your affection," Severus told him plainly.
"Probably, but it's the best I've got." Remus admitted, surprised that it didn't hurt like he thought it should have.
The admission twisted something painfully in Severus' gut, however. Those freshly dug emotions were going to drive him crazy. Tentatively he raised his arms up and loosely curled them around Lupin's back. The wizard tensed very slightly before relaxing in Snape's hold.
They stood that way for a minute, Severus attempting to adjust to the feeling of holding someone for the first time in many years.
"Severus, may I ask a personal question?" Remus muttered, elated to feel the solid being in front of him and the steady rhythm of his heart. "You don't have to answer it of course." Severus merely grunted and Lupin took it as an affirmative. "You were never touched as a child, like this I mean, or anything else gentle?" The wolf's voice was very soft, afraid of what can of worms he could be opening.
Severus was ready to deny it, tell the wizard it was none of his business and throw him out but it would have been highly counterproductive to what he was trying to accomplish. "No," he croaked and didn't elaborate.
Remus nodded against his neck and squeezed a bit tighter.
A shifting of shadows in the hall made him glance past Snape's shoulder and he saw Sirius there, looking hurt and confused. The emotion of the day. Remus carefully waved him in, trying to tell the animagus with his eyes that he was sorry. It appeared to have been marginally successful.
Sirius entered carefully, staring at the two of them.
Remus waved him again, opening and closing his fist and sending him piteous looks. Sirius knew what he wanted, but wasn't sure if he could, or if it would even be a good idea.
As he always did, Remus won him over and the animagus closed the distance and very carefully folded himself around Snape's back, fingers clasping Remus' shirt.
The potions master jerked and Remus could feel his pulse quicken.
"It's just me, Snape," Sirius muttered, shifting to set his chin on the man's shoulder.
And for some reason Remus did not know, the dark wizard relaxed between them.
It was only a moment they stood as one collective before Severus cleared his throat and spoke with a raspy voice, "If you are both quite finished, I have to finish packing."
Sirius backed away immediately, eyeing Severus openly and then turning his gaze to Moony.
Remus drew away with a bit of reluctance, smiling a bit at his feet.
Snape ignored the both of them and packed his things, horrified to feel the heat in his cheeks from his embarrassment and even more humiliated that he would have preferred to return to the odd hug if they had thought to ask him just then.
Merlin's beard, he was turning into a soppy woman.
…oOo…
The night was eerily quiet with Severus out of the house. Who would have believed it could be? Severus was quiet and secluded during his stay as well. But the air in Grimmauld place held a different tension, a stillness that brought back the suffocation of the place.
Remus sat in the den, a book in his lap that he intended to read but hadn't the energy to open. Sirius was off somewhere sulking, over what Remus had no idea. It seemed the animagus was being far more reflective than normal since Snape's abrupt departure hanging tightly to the tail feathers of Fawkes.
Then again, none of them were exactly talkative after the awkward hug.
Far above on the third floor, Remus could hear a softly muffled thump. He looked up at the ceiling, wondering what Sirius was doing up there.
He slid the book off of his lap and left it on the chair. He wasn't reading it anyway.
Remus was puffing through the dusty air by the time he climbed the flights to the third floor landing. There were footprints in the dust that led down the hallway. He followed Sirius' distinctive steps to what appeared to be an old study. The door was still open and Sirius was bent over a large chest, taking objects out and letting some fall from his hands to the unforgiving floor, while others he set carefully in a relatively neat pile to his left.
Remus watched him with mild content from the doorway. The animagus didn't look enthralled with his task, but he did look intent on whatever he was looking for… if he was in fact looking for anything. The lycan tapped on the doorframe and walked forward.
"What are you looking for?" He asked quietly.
Sirius shrugged and rifled through a stack of papers before dropping them in the pile of junk. "Nothing really. Just scrounging."
Remus sat down in the dirt and thumbed through the pile of things Sirius apparently wanted to keep.
There were a few off pieces of bent jewelry—oddly enough they all had the Black family crest embossed on them somewhere, some old photographs of his brother Regulus when they were children. One in particular made Remus depressed. There was a scorch mark that burnt out a near third of the photo. Regulus had his arm about someone's shoulders and looked over with a friendly smirk where the other person should have been. A disembodied arm curled around Regulus' waist and the handsome, elder Black heir laughed outright. Remus knew without asking that the gaping hole was where Sirius had been.
"Hey Moony, look at this," Sirius was not smiling as he passed over a sizeable photograph. In it stood the four Marauders in various disheveled states and grinning like fools. The lake stretched out behind them and now and then a tentacle would rise from the surface and flicker across the parchment.
"My God, I never realized how much Harry does look like James," Remus smiled fondly and looked up at Sirius. The animagus still wasn't smiling. "What's the matter?"
Sirius took the photo back and held it up in front of him and scooted over so that he sat beside Remus. "Look here," he pointed with one finger. In the background, Remus could just make out Snape sitting beneath a tree at the edge of the lake.
"Wha-" Remus started, but paused as two other figures appeared from around the oak. One pushed Snape to his side, sending the book in his hands flying into the lake, the other kicked him so viciously in the stomach that Severus actually came up off of the ground and landed on his elbows. A fierce roll of anger and protection rolled across Remus like a heat wave. He growled softly and peered over at Sirius. "How did you find that?"
The animagus shrugged rather stiffly, the red tinge of his cheeks and neck showing his own hidden anger. "I must have looked at that picture hundreds of times when we were students. I even managed to hide it from my mother and keep it intact. I never once saw that particular offense until just now."
Remus took the photo back and squinted closer, swallowing bile as he watched the two creep from behind the tree again and again. "Are those Slytherins?" Remus' eyes widened and he passed the photo back.
Sirius took his turn squinting and nodded his head slowly. "I think you're right."
"Why do we keep finding things like this now?" Sirius grumbled, dropping the photo back to the left and burying his head and shoulders back into the chest.
"Because now we actually see Severus, and not just the poster-boy for dark, evil Slytherin's." Remus muttered.
"Maybe," Sirius muttered from inside the chest.
Remus sulked for a few minutes longer before his curiosity got the better of him. He was soon on his knees with his own head and shoulders jammed into the chest next to Sirius. The animagus' hair hung mostly in the way, but there is always a unique fascination when looking at old belongings you haven't seen for years.
They giggled like boys over simple things and memories that were brought up with them. They'd spent much of an hour pulling randomness from the box and deciding whether or not it was worth keeping.
Ironically, the pile of throw-away items were things that might actually be worth money on some, not-so-legal markets and the pile of keepers were complete garbage with no other purpose than to stimulate memories of people long since dead.
"Sirius Black!" Remus gaped after a time. He laughed as he came up out of the box, face pink and eyes humored and accusing. "Just where did you get this?" The pale man held a slim studded collar in his hand with a thin metal loop and heavy buckle.
Sirius colored brightly and snatched it, "I don't remember."
"Liar," Remus crowed, tackling Sirius and struggling to get a hold of the forbidden item. Even with his considerable strength, Remus acquiesced to Sirius and sat back on his heels laughing. "Go on then, put it on."
"I will not," Sirius pouted, clenching the collar in his fist.
"Tell me who gave it to you, or you can put it on," Remus smirked. "I'm sure I could do some digging and find out either way, but I may need help… I'm sure Severus would enjoy the task."
Sirius' eyes narrowed, but he knew better than to challenge the wolf. Remus was nothing if not stubborn. Reluctantly he sighed and rolled his eyes, "It's not a big deal Remy, honestly. It was just from some bird in sixth year."
"Just some bird," Remus shook his head with a reminiscent grin. "It was always one bird or another. You were a lady-killer." Remus waggled his eyebrows and laughed as Sirius puffed with pride.
"She was a bit wild. We never even dated. When we met up one night in the astronomy tower she had it in her hand." Sirius smiled at the ceiling. "What a night."
Remus let him remember and eyed the collar still held in his friend's hand. "Put it on," he grinned.
"Honestly, Moony," Sirius smirked, "I didn't know you were so open-minded."
Remus didn't flush or turn back to the chest like he expected. Instead, the thin man appeared pensive and still smirked at him, waiting.
"You do know what this is?" Sirius asked, surely his innocent little Moony just thought it an exaggerated dog-collar.
"Oh, yes," Remus replied nonchalantly, but the glint in his eye told Sirius that he did in fact know exactly what it was. Sirius was proud.
"Fine," he sighed heavily, as though putting the bondage collar on was the most tedious thing he would ever have to endure.
He flipped his hair out of the way and rolled the leather around his neck. The heavy clasp rattled and iced the back of his neck. He fit it snug and turned it about to get used to the feel. It was awkward, the leather was quite thick and hindered the movement of his head, especially when he tried to look down. "Geez, I don't remember why this thing was so great…" Sirius grumbled, twisting a finger beneath the strap to loosen it around his throat. "HA! Remy do you wanna…try… what?"
Remus had a pinched, unreadable expression on his face. "You can take it off," he muttered, eyes at Sirius' throat. "It doesn't suit you."
"What's the matter Moony? Feeling a little… hot under the collar?" Sirius waggled his eyebrows and scooted toward the other wizard.
Remus shook his head, even as Sirius drew up a hair's breadth away and pressed his nose into his temple.
"You wouldn't be lying, would you Moony?" Sirius muttered, lips grazing Lupin's ear. Remus wrapped his arms around his neck, but not for what Sirius had thought. He felt the collar loose and slip from his neck and caught it as it fell past his chest.
"No, Sirius, I wouldn't." Remus drew back, taking the collar gently from Sirius' hands and dropped it to the side, neither in the throw-away pile, nor into the keepers. He returned to the box, burrowing back down inside and left Sirius to rub at his neck and wonder what that had been all about.
"Would it have been different if you had bought me that collar?" He asked with a sudden inspiration.
"No," came the hesitant reply from inside the chest. Remus withdrew and peered at him over his shoulder. "Perhaps your bird liked you bound Sirius, but I don't."
Sirius gnawed his bottom lip as he mulled that particular comment over. Something had happened to his Moony for such an admission. He ran a hand down Remus' back and bent his head down to look at the man bowed over into the box. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Honey-toned eyes blinked up at him, looking tired and distant. "No. But I should."
"Snape's orders," Sirius grinned, sliding to the side and rooting next to Remus. He took up a broken quill and frowned at it before tossing it to the right outside the box.
Remus looked at him for a while before nodding very slightly and rummaging as well. "After… after being bit and my first turn, my parents tried many ways to keep me from harming other people, and myself, of course." The wizard paused to catch his breath and keep his thoughts together. It would be far too easy to ramble off to avoid the topic.
"My father was the one to build the cage in the basement. My mother couldn't look at it, refused to even go down there for anything after it was finished. That's where I was housed every full moon."
"I remember you telling Prongs and I about that," Sirius interrupted softly.
"Yea," Remus nodded distractedly and took a yearbook from the chest. He thumbed it open and dazedly looked over the waving photos. "After my mother died, I was left to my father's attempts at 'expert care'.
He was sure that he could help me, and I don't blame him for the inadvertent cruelness, he only wanted his son back." Remus paused to stare down at a photo of himself, shy and staring at the boarder of his picture, unable to do more than blink. Second year and he still looked like a scared six year old.
"What did he do Remy?" Sirius sat back, fixing his pale friend with what he hoped was a heartfelt look.
"The cage," Remus paused and cleared his throat before trying again. "The cage didn't hold after I turned ten. Werewolves gain strength as they age, as a boy at ten I had the strength of a twenty year old on steroids. His homemade cage couldn't take a twenty-year-old werewolf. I broke the hinges off, nearly made it out of the house and into the village. I don't want to know what would have happened. My father is a clever man, he kept a tranquilizer gun by the basement door. He hit me with two, each with enough to stop a hippogriff."
"Ouch," Sirius grimaced and rubbed his posterior in sympathy. Remus grinned weakly at him.
"He scrimped and saved for months after that, standing at the top of the stairs during the full moon with the tranquilizer gun in his hands. Most months he had to use it. But eventually he saved enough money to buy a massive amount of sterling. He made cuffs…and bars… and—"
"A collar?" Sirius croaked.
Remus sat on his hands, horrified to find they were shaking. "Not entirely. The clasp was silver, it was studded with it, prevented me from taking it off at any rate."
"Jesus, Remus," Sirius breathed. The animagus took up the collar from the floor and tossed it toward the junk pile. Remus stuck his hand out and stopped it.
"You don't have to throw it away," Remus smiled tightly at him. "It reminds you of good times, you should keep it."
"Moony, I don't want to keep something that reminds you of something painful," Sirius frowned deeply and took it back.
"Sirius, don't argue with me," Remus rolled his eyes and snatched it again. He dropped it in the keep pile and when Sirius moved toward it again and Remus slapped his hand away. "It's okay," Remus told him, the wizard smiled gently and raised his hand, stroking Sirius' stubbled cheek with the back of his hand.
The animagus sighed and leaned into it. "Moony, I don't know what to do with you."
The wolf laughed and turned back to the chest of junk and began to thumb through it. Sirius shook his head and smiled softly at his bent back. He counted Lupin's ability to recount the hell a success, and made a mental note to mention the story to Snape when they saw him again.