Sirius and Remus had spent the better part of the day sleeping on the make-shift daybed in the den. Sirius had been a good mother hen; doling out the medication made specifically for Remus, brought half-soggy sandwiches and bitter-strong tea in the late afternoon; even helped Remus with his bandages and waited patiently outside the bathroom door… just in case.
For as much as Remus hated to be needy, he was quite happy to have the animagus's undivided attention. Granted, he slept through most of the cuddling and minor endearments, but he knew instinctively.
As the late supper hour drew in, both wrestled awake full of aches and creaks from too long in bed. Sirius felt a dull pound around and behind his eyes with a complete lack of energy. One look at Remus cemented the fact that the poor beast was feeling exactly the same.
"Feeling hungry, Moony? It's going on eight…"
Remus muttered something under his breath that sounded a bit like affirmation as they crossed the hall into the kitchen. Sirius came up short when he saw a minor spread on the table, Remus toppled into his back and clutched at his shirt to keep form careening off into the wall.
"Looks like Molly beat us to it," Sirius grinned, sitting down in the nearest chair with a plate setting.
With a laugh strangled by a yawn, Remus sat down across from him at the other plate and breathed in the smells of spiced roast and garlic potatoes. Sirius had been reaching for the meat fork but had paused halfway and was staring at a small square of parchment in the empty plate that he had not noticed before.
In a familiar cramped, spidery scrawl was written, 'Remus sits here.'
"Eh?" Sirius stood, leaning across the food and stared at Lupin's plate. Sure enough, a similar square of parchment lay on Remus' that read, 'Sirius sits here.' "I think we need to switch…"
Remus took the parchment up and read it, shrugged and stood.
As they resettled into their new spots, Sirius looked far off ease as he carefully sniffed his cup and took a bit of meat onto his plate. "D'you suppose there's a difference between my sitting here instead of there?"
After a precautionary smell of his drink, Remus took a careful sip and shrugged. "I dunno, but this elderberry wine is quite good…"
So, after a few minutes of being cautious they ate… then ate some more. The meat was savory and cooked to perfection, the potatoes whipped and light. No sooner had they set their forks down with contented sighs did the dishware pop away and mint-chocolate mousse sprang to existence in front of them.
"What's that git up to?" Sirius asked, prodding the sweet with his forefinger and licking it clean. He smiled brilliantly and delved in.
Remus smiled around a spoonful and sighed happily. "I don't think I care at this point."
Sirius snorted and nodded his bemused agreement.
When they could eat no more the dishes popped away again and Remus shook his head with good humor. "To think I'd worried about the man's health this morning…"
"I wouldn't write it off Moony. From the looks of all this, I'd say he's lost his marbles."
Remus scoffed and the two startled as a small origami crane swooped low across the table, unfolded itself, and lay flat between them.
"'Follow me'?" Remus read aloud, a furrow of confusion between his eyebrows.
The origami bird refolded itself and took wing out of the kitchen, leaving two gaping Gryffindors scrambling after it.
It fluttered up the stairs, hovering with patience at the landing and up the rest to the second floor when they seemed to catch up. Remus was never more thankful for the potent potions rebuild of his system then when they watched the damned bird hover up another floor. Both men puffed to the top stair on the third story and watched the bird whiz down the hall, unfold and flatten itself against a door at the far end.
"That's mum and dad's room," Sirius whispered, looking more fearful than curious now.
They walked down the hall, barely registering that the dust that used to be so thick across the floor was swept away. With a slowing gait, both came to a gradual stop outside of the door and looked warily at the smooth page.
'Enter here only when you are ready.'
"Ready for what?" Remus muttered, casting a quick glance to Sirius. The animagus shrugged and paced back and forth before the doorway, running his palms over his arms to stave off an imaginary chill.
"Pads?"
Sirius came to an abrupt halt and gave a tight nod.
Remus turned the knob beneath his palm and pushed without stepping inside.
It appeared to be a normal bedroom. The overlarge oak furniture and thick tapestries were a give-in to the Black family's taste and pure-blood fashion. A low fire was burning in the hearth and a long, low table set to the far left of the room. Upon it were several items, one of which was large and curved, a familiar item to be sure. Remus stepped in, feeling Sirius close enough at his back to be his shadow.
"It doesn't look like I remember," Sirius hummed, casting his eyes over the room.
In tandem they walked to the table and gazed at the bottles and stone pensieve in quiet contemplation.
"More notes?" Sirius rolled his eyes heavenward.
"'Drink this.'" Remus smiled to himself, "it has my name on it." He laughed outright as he pulled the cork. "Do you have the distinct feeling that we've fallen through the Looking Glass?"
Sirius grinned, "I did wonder where the white rabbit came from…" He took the bottle from Remus and turned it in the light. "What's this then?"
"Hell if I know, give it here," Remus held out his palm for it, snatching it away when Sirius kept pulling it just out of reach. With a final turn in the light he drank it.
"Well?"
Smacking his lips, Remus set the bottle back to the table. "Pain reliever… mild healer… no silver." He grinned at Sirius and held out another bottle from the table. "This one has your name on it."
Raising an eyebrow, Sirius checked the page on the table and frowned. "I think Snape's gone barmy." Nonetheless he tipped the bottle without a thought and sputtered. After two deep breaths to calm himself, Sirius grinned. "Scotch."
"What?" Remus laughed.
"Scotch, the good stuff too. Single malt… Glenmorangie or maybe Highland Park." Sirius made an appreciative whistle and ran his finger in the glass, sucking the drop from his fingertip. "Wish I would've known, I would have savored it…"
Remus laughed and threw and arm over Sirius shoulders. "Maybe we can convince him to bring the bottle."
"I certainly hope we can," Sirius placed his hand in the middle of Remus back and smiled down at him.
The surreal nature of the night didn't dissipate with their respective painkillers. They shuffled a step down the table and looked at the last note.
'View this.'
"What do you think?"
Remus thinned his lips and stared down into the still water. Several silver filament threads floated about, looking relatively harmless as they hovered; fatherless thoughts in amniotic fluid. "I think… I don't know what to think."
"Well… no time like the present."
Trepidation made them stutter forward, Sirius pulled his hair over his shoulder to keep it from the water. He cast a last look at Remus and thrust his face forward into the pensieve; Remus following only seconds after.
Remus touched Sirius' shoulder as he gathered his bearings. The memory was dark and mist-filled, the terrain uneven.
The mist swirled and separated, the silhouette of a ramshackle building—leaning decidedly to the right—emerged complete with narrow footpath and weed-eaten fence posts. Through a cracked window-pane a flickering lamp could be seen.
"D'you suppose this is Spinner's End?" Remus muttered, hand clutching tight to Sirius' forearm. They slowly walked up the path, but paused in mild alarm as the scene shifted abruptly and they were then standing in the building, looking out of the same cracked window they had been looking into.
Sirius turned a slow circle and tapped Remus' shoulder, jerking his head to the corner. A young Severus Snape, possibly six, maybe older and malnourished, was hunched in the corner with his face buried in his knees. "This isn't Spinner's End," he said randomly, attempting to touch a nearby wall and panicking as his hand fell through it and back like a ghost.
"No?"
"No. I was there once, shortly after graduation." Sirius grimaced and looked apologetically at the boy in the corner. "I went and stoned Snape's windows after getting pissed with James. Lily was raving mad and made us fix all of them before Snape got back. I guess we were lucky he wasn't home at the time…"
Remus sighed heavily and crouched painfully next to the boy.
"What are we doing here then?"
Heavy, drunken footsteps stuttered down the hallway, making the whole room tremble. Severus' eyes widened as his head snapped up and he stared fearfully at the door. With the speed and agility of a petrified cat, the boy threw himself beneath his bed and all but disappeared in the far shadow beneath. The door flew open with a resounding snap, a crack in the wall groaned where the door handle hit.
"I can smell you in here boy…" A man that could only be Tobias Snape stood blocking the sickly light from the hall. A heavy current of gin soaked air met Remus' nose and made him cough. Tobias fell to his knees on the floor, grinning manically beneath the bed and curled his hand around Severus' ankle.
The boy came out spitting fire and kicking, clawing at what flesh and clothing he could touch.
"Good boy," Sirius muttered, fists tense at his sides.
"Come and see what I've got for you," Tobias grunted around the feeble blows, dragging Severus out of the room and down the hall.
Remus and Sirius quickly kept pace, unable to place the combined feeling of unease, disgust and nausea.
Tobias came to a wobbly stop in the doorway of a gritty kitchen. He dropped Severus and pointed toward the table. "A box there for you, on the table brat, go on!"
Severus clambered to his feet and scampered to the far side of the room, back to the wall and eyes toward his father.
"Ungrateful-" Tobias grumbled. He stomped further into the kitchen and pushed the box from the tabletop to the floor, the flaps dropping open mid-flight and crumbling on impact. Something within let out a painful yip and Severus' eyes welled with tears.
A sickly pup rolled out of the box, naught but bone and skin. Patches of fur were missing, its skin swollen and red, neither eye was open though even at the distance both Sirius and Remus knew it had no eyes within the sockets to look with. Sirius turned away, bending upon himself and forcing back a heave.
"A dog!" Tobias grinned, gesturing happily at the mangled mutt. "You see, I do listen!" The smile fell from his face and a sick grimace filled it. "Pick it up."
Severus stood on trembling legs, bottom lip in his teeth and face trailing tears. He stared at the sickening creature on the floor as it struggled to breathe, foamy pink bubbles at its nostrils.
"I said. Pick. It. Up." Tobias hissed, hand at his belt, already snapping the leather through the loops. Severus flinched at each movement and huddled on himself as the belt fell across the table in warning, the leather sounding like a gunshot in the still of the room.
A door slammed from somewhere in the house and the rustle of stiff fabric announced Eileen's presence even before she tumbled into the kitchen. "Tobais—"
The man whirled on her, belt twisted in his hand and snapped across her ankles. "You stay out of this, witch. I've brought the boy a puppy, ungrateful as he is."
Eileen scowled darkly and Remus elbowed Sirius to be sure the man noticed. Snape may have his father's lank hair and hooked nose, but he had his mother's fierce scowl. Eileen skirted the table and came up short, clutching at her chest and staggered back a step.
"Pick it up, now!" Tobias snarled, belt whistling again, just clipping Severus' shoulder.
"Tobias, that dog is diseased!" Eileen shrieked, attempting to stop Severus as the boy dropped to his knees next to the quaking pup on the floor. "Severus, don't touch that!"
"That's a good boy," Tobias sneered, stepping in for a closer look.
Severus reached out a hand, dry heaving as his fingers touched the pinched, swollen flesh. The pup let out a shrill whine and kicked feebly.
"Severus, stop!" Eileen hissed, bending to retrieve him.
Severus turned a decidedly blank gaze to his mother and the witch paused, the boy looked down at the pitiful creature at his mercy and sobbed. Remus could not quite hear what the boy said, a flicker of green flashing against the peeling walls..
The kitchen scene fell away with a start, as though a black drop-cloth had cut the room from their vision. Sirius looked shaken, and Remus was sure he couldn't possibly look any better. "Did he… Severus, did he…"
"As a boy," Sirius swallowed hard against the bile in his throat.
"I'm not sure I want to see the rest of these memories," Remus muttered, setting a hand to his stomach. "What a way to ruin dinner."
Sirius smiled briefly. "So, do you think he's trying to scare us off or let us in?"
"I don't know yet," Remus smiled without mirth.
Another memory began to settle around them, slowly seeping into consciousness as though even Snape could not remember where the memory started when he drew it from his head. Hogwart's grounds bloomed before them in the calm stretch of night. Remus clenched his eyes shut, willing the memory not to be of the Whomping Willow. Sirius, it seemed, was hoping for the same as he let out a heavy sigh of relief.
Severus in the late years of Hogwart's was standing beside the lake, watching the stars reflect on the rippling surface. A head of glowing silver hair soon made it's way calmly along the edge, Lucius Malfoy came to a slowing stop as he reached Snape's side, both staring out across the water.
"If you are ready, Severus."
A long moment of silence passed between them, and finally Snape nodded once and they turned as one away from the water and walked toward the Forbidden Forest. Remus and Sirius kept pace easily enough, it seemed that neither of their oblivious companions was in any hurry. The forest was the same, and then again not. Roots tried to trip them, snagging at their robe hems and catching now and then in Lucius' long hair.
They paused in a clearing long enough for Lucius to aim his wand at his face and an ornately carved bone mask bloomed across his features. He took tight hold of Severus' arm and they dissapparated in a thunderous crack.
The ground reformed beneath Sirius' and Remus' feet as that of well-shaped stone. The building was drafty and bare, but here and there the signs of a well-made manor showed like the fine beams of moonlight that filtered in the mortar cracks. Several others were in the room, all wearing masks and standing in the guise of a circle, facing a lone figure in the shadows. Severus knelt gracefully and Lucius stood behind him and to the left.
"So you have come," a strong voice carried from the shadows. "Of your own accord?"
"Yes, sir." Severus replied, voice deep and low.
"You've come with the knowledge of my beliefs, and know them to be true?"
"Yes, sir."
The man in the shadows stirred and took a step forward. "And what is it, Severus, that I know to be the truth?"
"There is no blood, but pureblood. The downfall and death of all wizarding kind is because of mudbloods, their taint, their weakness… You are the power and strength to show the ignorant the true path to righteousness and that nothing but your fury await those who doubt."
A slow, sarcastic clap filled the silence. Tom Riddle stepped from the shadows, already showing the vague features of a snake. He paused before Severus, a slow smirk curling his face. "Well practiced, Severus, indeed." A few scattered snickers came from those assembled and Riddle held up his hand for silence. "I am lucky to have you, Severus. I am told you are a skilled potions apprentice, well on your way to becoming a Master."
"It is true," Severus replied, a red flush of muted anger at his collar.
"You are aware that to do my work, you must cast aside those idealistic rules of the Ministry?"
"Yes."
"You are aware that I accept only perfection, and that all mistakes you make I will punish as I deem necessary?"
"Yes."
Riddle steepled his fingers beneath his chin. "Have you cast an unforgivable?"
"Yes."
"Have you sought revenge for those that have wronged you?"
"Yes."
"Have you killed for your own gain?"
A pause fell like dead weight. Remus sought Sirius' hand without turning away from the scene. Riddle tensed as Severus failed to answer. "Have you killed?"
"Yes."
"Would you kill again?"
"Who do you wish dead, my Lord?"
A smirk of satisfaction split Riddle's face. "Very good, Severus… very good."
"Your arm."
Severus bared the flesh of his left arm, holding it out before him.
"You will bare my mark," Riddle's voice boomed across the room, "and when you feel my call you will not hesitate. When you are given my orders you will not hesitate. When you are faced with the prying eyes and ears of those that would oppose me, you will not hesitate… Look at me!"
Severus raised his head, and stared directly at Voldemort. "You willingly take this mark, knowing the full retribution of your actions should you knowingly go against me?"
"Yes, my Lord."
Remus turned away as Riddle set his wand-tip to Severus' forearm, and hunched in on himself as Severus let out a blood-curdling scream.
The scene faded to black as Sirius squeezed his hand. "You already knew about this Moony, why are you taking it so hard now?"
"I guess it's harder to forget about that part of Severus's life when you watch it happen."
Sirius nodded in the darkness. "And do you feel differently for him after seeing that?"
"Of course not!" Remus barked, turning a dark eye to Sirius. The animagus shrugged and held up his hands in self defense.
"I'm just asking," Sirius muttered.
A painful sigh pushed past Remus' lips and he ground the heels of his hands into his eyes, grimacing as pain lanced up his damaged arm. "What else is there to see?"
Sirius shrugged, rubbing a thumb against his own eye sockets. "The Whomping Willow? The murder of his father? Maybe he's raped and tortured children…"
Remus looked intermittently revolted and angry. "Sirius."
"Sorry," the animagus cowed.
A new memory started with a film of red haze over a familiar kitchen. After a moment, the red fog cleared, showing no signs of the mildewed box and sickly pup from mere memories ago.
The kitchen table was upset, cracked in two places but still in one piece. Chairs were strewn, dishes shattered and the curtain over one dirty window hung by a single hook. Severus was slumped in one corner, blood trailing from his nose and left ear.
The man, barely of legal age, stirred and groaned pitifully. With shaking fingers he touched his head and nose, grimacing at the blood that stuck to them.
Remus watched him try to stand twice, falling back to the floor each time and quelled the urge to help.
Finally, with a steadying hand on the wall and the other clutching his head, Severus stood with a shuddering gasp. The force started a fresh trickle of blood from his ear, but the Slytherin didn't appear to have noticed.
Sirius and Remus followed the man's staggering steps into the hallway. Pictures had been knocked from the walls, glass and frames crunching beneath Severus' feet. There was a sizable tear in his pant leg they had not noticed when he was sitting. A trail of flaking, dried blood coated the patch of skin that could be seen through it.
Severus came to a stop, wand dangling from his fingers as he turned into a dilapidated study. Tobias lay sprawled on the floor. Blood had seeped into the thin carpet, reeking of copper.
The man glanced around him, looking for something he obviously could not find as he turned back out of the room and slid along the wall further down the hall.
A bedroom door fell open beneath his hand, a rumpled bed and more torn curtains within.
Sirius and Remus had not followed, instead standing in the study doorway and looking at the dead body of Tobias Snape. The man had been beaten to death. A heavy lead lamp beside the man's head was crusted in blood told a testament to that fact.
"He bludgeoned him to death," Remus muttered.
"It's a bit more personal that way," Sirius replied in a hoarse tone.
A deep cry of anguish rocked the walls. The hair on the back of their necks stood on end and they practically fell over each other to reach the room at the end of the hall.
Severus was on his knees at the side of the bed, hands fisting his hair and body wracked with sobs. Remus stood over him, helpless hands hovering in an attempt to soothe a hurt decades old.
Eileen Prince-Snape lay on the blankets, blouse torn open, a bloody trickle down one exposed thigh and ugly hand-shaped bruises around her throat.
Severus jerked one hand from his hair, oblivious to the chunk of ebony locks that came away with it. His hand trembled as he grasped a ragged edge of his mother's blouse and drew it back across his mother's bared chest. He crawled pitifully onto the bed, curling around his mother and clutching her to his chest.
Her limp body folded around his, head lolling on his shoulder with glassy eyes open without sight. Severus sobbed into her hair, face streaked in tears and snot smeared across one cheek.
An undetermined amount of time passed, Severus lay in a silent stupor with his mother clutched to his chest. He barely moved, barely breathed, never blinked.
Remus was clutching hold of Sirius' arm, unable to turn away from the sight. Sirius had his arm across Remus' shoulders, lips pursed tight together and pressed to Remus' temple.
"My god, Sirius, how old can he be?" Remus whispered, heart shattered at his feet.
"He's still got a Hogwarts patch on his robe…" Sirius cleared his throat and shuffled them aside when the front door burst open with an echoing call of aurors.
It didn't take them long to find Severus. A young Kingsley Shaklebolt, fresh-faced and recently promoted stopped the others from trampling in and hauling the man off of the bed.
"Get the Headmaster," Kingsley muttered to the nearest auror while motioning for the others to lower their wands.
It didn't take long for the firecall to produce Albus Dumbledore. The man's beard was a bit shorter, and the hair at his temples was a shade of darker grey. The aurors parted for him as he stood at the foot of the bed frowning.
"Severus…" Albus paced around the bed and touched Snape's shoulder. The young man looked up at him, eyes vacant.
"What has happened here, my boy?" Albus lowered himself to the edge of the mattress.
Severus blinked at Albus, his lower lip wavered and with a blink his eyes cleared and he sat up and away from his mother. He stood and smoothed his robes, oblivious to the blood he smeared down his shirt front.
"A man stunned me in the kitchen. I woke only a few moments ago to find my father and mah—mother dead." Severus cleared his throat, staring down his nose at the room full of aurors.
Albus stared at Severus and raised one hand to motion the others away. The group dispersed and left the Headmaster and his student alone.
Silence stretched as Albus stared at Severus and Severus stared down at his mother. After a moment the Headmaster rested a hand on Snape's shoulder and gazed mournfully down at Eileen. "Severus…"
The boy's shoulders slumped and a fat tear rolled down his face and dripped from his chin.
"Severus, what really happened?" Albus murmured.
"A man stunned me in the kitchen. I woke only a few moments—"
"Severus. I know that what has happened here has nothing to do with some stranger. I will not judge you."
Severus shuddered, the small furniture in the room shivering with him. Albus shut the door with a wave of his hand and clutched hold of Snape's shoulders. "Please, tell me."
"He was at her, hurting her, and I swore, Headmaster, I swore he wouldn't touch her again." Severus growled, spittle trailing his chin and eyes flashing. He sobbed and sagged to his knees, a shaking hand hovering over his mother's form. "She was already dead when I got here," he whispered.
"I am so sorry, my boy," Albus whispered back.
Severus flinched away from the Headmaster's hold and stood with his chin high. "What will happen to me?"
Albus looked suddenly older and stern at the same moment, "You leave that to me."
The vision disappeared with a snap, like broken 8mm tape.
Sirius and Remus reeled, blinking around at the dimly lit room. Remus felt his arm throb and slowly realized that they were no longer in the pensieve, but standing again in the third floor master bedroom.
"Are you suitably horrified?" A soft, whiskey deep voice carried from across the room.
Sirius jumped and found Severus sitting in a high-backed chair in front of the barely lit fireplace.
A decanter of amber liquid at Snape's feet glinted in the firelight. A large brandy snifter was held in one long-fingered hand, half-filled with fire whiskey. Severus was not looking at either of them.
"Sit down, Lupin, you look like Hell." Severus muttered toward the fire. The whiskey touched his lips for a long pull before it dangled again from his fingers.
"What is the point of all of this?" Remus asked softly, sitting on a blanket covered chest at the foot of the bed.
A long stretch of awkward silence lay heavy between the three of them. Sirius shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, looking between the other men in the room.
"I am a product of my childhood," Severus intoned suddenly, voice laden with whiskey and eyes trained hard on Remus' bowed head, searching out his face in the dancing shadows left by the firelight. "I could have been more. Better."
"I—" Sirius started, only to be cut off by Snape's sharp glare.
"I have always hated you, Black. You've had everything I had always wanted. Friends, looks, pure blood… And I have always been everything you've hated. We were destined to be enemies from the very start."
The sharp gaze lingered, eyes glinting beneath the swaying of Snape's heavy locks. The potion master's wand snapped out suddenly and Sirius felt his heart jam into his throat, hand struggling for his wand. His tip wavered as he realized a chair had been conjured across from Severus at the fireside.
"And what great enemies we had been, as children." Snape's wand disappeared in the folds of his robes and he nodded toward the chair. Sirius, leery, sat down.
"…and now?"
"Not enemies… not really." Severus smirked, taking another pull on his whiskey. He plucked a second glass from a nearby table, pouring a generous helping and holding it out to Sirius. The animagus hesitated and Severus snorted softly. "It's the same as you've had already." He nodded toward the empty glass on the far table beside the pensieve. Sirius pursed his lips and took the drink.
"There is a part of me that blindingly hates you, Sirius." Severus muttered, swirling the golden liquid in the light. "The same part that identifies us as that percent unknown of abused children. The fact that not only do you know of what secret I have hidden for so many years," Severus paused his painful whisper to take a shuttering breath. He held it for two beats before speaking in a far more even tone. "You don't only know about it, you have also lived it."
Sirius winced, staring into the depths of his liquor and refused to comment.
Remus watched the whole exchange with a sluggish, potion-filled brain. A knot of apprehension turned his stomach, but neither man was yelling, and they weren't throwing hexes, so he let them be.
"Remus…" Snape muttered, a cynical smile on his lips. "The beast that tried to eat me."
The wolf's heart froze and cracked. Sirius had risen from his seat, glass fallen from his fingers to the carpet. Severus sat still as stone, whiskey held half-way to his lips and an eyebrow cocked at the animagus.
"Don't you start, Snape," Sirius spat, wand shaking in his rage.
"Sit down, Black," Severus barked. "We've had our chat, and if mind serves me right, it was you that tried to feed me to him."
Remus looked pale, doubled on himself and cradling his abused arm to his stomach. "Severus." Please don't.
The potions master's hard face softened and he stood, pushing past Sirius as though the man was not in his way. Remus shied away from him, turning his face away as Severus joined him on the cedar chest.
"As I was saying," Severus continued, ignoring Sirius' ragged breathing and furious face. "The beast that's tried to eat me." Severus carefully drew the abused arm from Remus' middle, turning his hand palm up and cautiously unwinding the gauze. Snape ran his fingers very carefully down the deep gouge, though it was healing quite well it would still cause a large unsightly scar.
"I won't lie and say that incident did not help push me to be the man that I am," Severus conjured fresh bandages and lay Lupin's arm in his lap. "But you and I both know that I have not hated you for it for the past twenty years."
Remus jerked back, startled as he was, and whimpered as his wounds pulled taught. "What?"
"I am not a man of emotion," Severus hissed, "but I had hoped my selfless creation of Wolfsbane over the past several years would at least have helped point it out." He paused, realizing he was getting worked up and being a bit rough.
"But you were still the same as them," he continued in a softer tone.
Remus struggled through his breath, air sucked through his teeth in soft whistles. His eyes scoured Severus' face in the shadows. "So you do—" Snape's hard gaze snapped up, "did," Remus corrected, "hate me."
Severus nodded once, stiffly, still cautiously winding the material around and around.
"But not because I was a werewolf." A sharp inhale of breath made Severus glance up, a smirk of satisfaction at the look of disbelief on Remus' face. "You hated me… for me."
"Yes."
Sirius closed his eyes, tipping his head back and breathed toward the ceiling. He bent at the waist, retrieving the decanter of single Malt and then his upturned glass. He poured a healthy swallow and downed it. "This has got to be the oddest form of cathartic discussion I have ever bore witness to."
Severus tucked the bandage and gently returned the arm back to Remus. He chose to ignore Sirius for the moment and continued staring at the lycan's bowed head. "We share a hell, the three of us, as separate people suffering at the hands of those that should have loved us. And I dare say that you've come out the other side far more rounded than Black or I."
"But your father," Snape paused with hand hovering over Remus', "he created a division in you."
"Your father killed your mother," Remus whispered, voice husky and dry.
Snape's hand retracted, clenching into a tight fist in his lap. "And he helped create who I am, the whole of me. He made me fear, and hate, and fight… Just as Sirius' father made him brash, argumentative and loyal."
Sirius raised his glass in silent agreement, swallowing the whiskey with a grimace.
"But yours wasn't always as ours." Sirius piped up. "Your father loved you," Sirius rested his elbows on his knees, smiling gently at Remus from across the room.
"It was your turning point. He loved you during the day, but feared and loathed you at night." Severus paused, letting his words sink in. "You've divided yourself in your own mind. He made you feel that the part of you that lurks in the night is not worthy of mortal affection." Snape sneered, clearing his throat twice before growling the next sentence in a low tone. "What I am about to say cannot leave this room…"
Remus and Sirius both perked.
Severus sneered, "Potter, Black and Pettigrew treated you right for the first time since you were bitten. And because of them, there's enough sanity left in you to save."
A flush slowly crept up Snape's neck and he swallowed dryly before staring hard into Remus' face. "But I intend on fixing you for good." Remus smiled shyly, watching in pleased curiosity as Severus tipped his head toward Sirius without taking his gaze away. "We will do it. For you."
A bubble of emotion rose up Remus' throat and burst as a peal of half panicked laughter. "What?"
Sirius all but stumbled across the room, tripping across the chair and landing in a heap on Remus' opposite. "I think what Sna—Severus is saying, is that he's got an idea, and that we're all in it together."
"Oh," Remus nodded absently, confused and strangely confident. A cool, dry hand cupped his cheek and turned his head. Severus' intense gaze bore heavily through him. A dry, chaste kiss brushed Remus' lips. He sat straighter, surprised and prepared to reciprocate but Severus reached past him and grasped the back of Sirius' head. Snape rose, brushing the same feather-light kisses to both of Sirius' faintly bruised eyes before returning to his seat before the fire and refilling his glass.
A long silence spread across the room again, much lighter and with a prickle of new intensity. Sirius twined his fingers through Remus' and placed an open mouthed kiss to the back of his hand.
"Severus, why did you leave those memories for us?" Remus asked quietly, gently squeezing Sirius' hand for support.
"The first was to prove that I am as dark as Sirius has always claimed," he said smoothly. "My favorite defense book," he muttered idly with a wistful smile, "the only weapon I had against my father when I was finally old enough to read and lucky enough to throw accidental magic."
He cleared his throat and glanced over to see them watching intently. He could not hold the gaze and turned back to the fire. "The third, was to prove that I am also as broken as you believe, Remus. And the second… the second is to remind you of just whom you've gotten yourself mixed up with."