First of all - THANKYOU! Thankyou for all the hits and alerts! I was blown away by the sheer number of people who even decided to take a peek at my little story!
For those who have reviewed, a massive thankyou also! They were all so positive!
This is 2nd chapter, and I just exploded out of me thanks to the massive response to this story!
A few things I want to say that I forgot to mention in the first author's note:
I don't have a beta as of yet. If you are one or can recommend one, please PM me and let me know.
Apologies for the layout of the first chapter. I didn't realise that the format wouldn't put in the page breaks or line breaks that I had used. I'm still getting the hang of it here.
You've probably noticed that the characters are a little OOC, please don't hate me, I had to in order to make this story work.
This chapter focuses mainly on Puck's lack of mind-to-mouth filter. Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer - I don't own Glee or the characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own amusement.
"You look like sex."
Noah Puckerman blushed, honest to goodness blushed.
Kurt let out what can only be described as a squeaky "Wh-what?"
"Uh, I meant, um I mean, I said… 'You look like you just had sex.'" Smooth Puckerman, really smooth, cause that is so a much better, thought Puck giving himself a mental face-palm.
"U-um, okay - what?" Jeez, does that guy ever think about anything but sex? OMG! Is Puck… Is he, blushing? "Are you – blushing?" Shit! I can't believe I just said that out loud!
"No!" Shouted Puck blushing even more.
"Yes! You totally are!" Kurt cried immediately forgetting about his own un-comfort, "I never thought I would live to see the day that the great Noah 'Puck' Puckerman was embarrassed!"
"Jeez dude! I'm not blushing, and even if I were, which I'm totally not, sorry for trying to show embarrassment on your behalf for coming over while you're having sex. I'm a badass, not an arsehole!" In his nervousness, Puck realised he was starting to ramble and desperately tried to regain control. "I mean, you know, I'm a sex shark, so I couldn't care less if you walked in on me. Feel free to have a show." Well, that certainly worked Puckerman. Hummel totally doesn't think you're 10 shades of creepy now. "But, you know, I figure for a dude like you, it would, you know, be awkward or some shit."
By this time, Kurt was holding himself up on the door, shaking with laughter. Puck, not used to feeling so, well, Finn-like, started to get angry. "What the fuck dude?"
That got Kurt to sober up a bit. "Don't call me 'dude'. Oh shit!" Kurt turned around and fled back to the kitchen where, yep… 3 batches of batter where slowly starting to resemble briquettes.
Puck hesitated on the doorstep, wondering what the fuck was up with Hummel. He didn't know if he should, like, just go inside. Hearing Kurt cursing and bashing things around, he thought maybe Kurt needed help. But really, if Kurt and some other dude were having sex, that was something Puck really didn't want to see… and Puckzilla can just calm the fuck down, cause he ain't seeing it either. But hearing the smoke alarm go off, Puck didn't hesitate and ran into the kitchen.
Kurt had turned off the stove and opened a window and was now trying to fan the smoke away with a tea towel whilst trying to turn off the smoke alarm simultaneously. Silently, Puck reached up and unhooked the alarm and put it on the bench and then grabbed a tea towel and started fanning the smoke out the window too. Kurt stood gob-smacked for a few seconds before coming too and leaving it to puck, started to wash away all the burnt pancakes.
Once done and with the air relatively more breathable. Kurt muttered a quick 'thanks' to Puck.
"No problem dude."
"Don't call me dude!" Snapped Kurt.
And again, Puck blushed. What the hell is wrong with me? With water splashed over his front, sweat in his hair and on his face, Kurt took one look at Puck and burst out laughing again. "Seriously Puckerman? You're blushing again?"
"NO! It's just from the heat in here. What with you trying to burn down your house trying to cook or whatever prissy stuff you were trying to do. Making breakfast for the morning after are you?"
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Of course not. Puck the great tough as steel badass doesn't blush. I had started to cook my breakfast when you got here and then decided to spend 10 mins insulting me… Pardon my poor cooking skills, or should that be poor time management, hmm?" Kurt turned away to try and clean up a bit and grumbled quietly "As if you could do better, a Neanderthal like yourself would probably just hit a girl with a club and expect dinner made."
"Dude! – Sorry! Hummel – " Puck amended after bitch glare number 2 from Kurt. "Don't say shit like that when you don't know me. I've got skillz." Feeling more confident that he has control over himself, Puck smirked "But, you are right about tough as steel… have you seen my guns?" Said Puck giving a little show to Kurt. Hell, he'd love it, let him drool over me. I'm a stud. Everyone wants me.
Kurt turning around and seeing Puck posing let out a scoff. Feeling bold, Kurt decided that it was time for a little payback. Let's see how quickly I can make him uncomfortable. So, slowly and very deliberately raking his eyes over Puck's form, Kurt walked forwards and gently lay his hand on Puck's bicep, giving a gentle squeeze. "Just checking." Kurt informed him, then daringly licked his lip. "Needed to make sure that it wasn't just an optical illusion. But, they feel real." Kurt breathed giving the other bicep the same treatment before dropping his hand and walking away, throwing over his shoulder "But I've seen better." Kurt leant against the far counter and watched the emotions play out on Puck's face.
Puck was stunned. There really was no other word for it. He was stunned. He didn't know if Kurt was just calling his bluff, or if he really took it as an invitation to touch… Oh, touch… those really soft hands felt really good on his skin. Now I know what Brittany meant by baby hands. The touch was so soft, yet strong at the same time, Puck could feel the blood rushing south as imagined that same touch elsewhere on his body. It was enough to make Puck blush. Then that soft breath against his skin, Puck's entire body erupted into goose-pimples. He couldn't believe that Hummel was having that effect on him. He was a sex shark! He didn't get embarrassed about sex! Then Puck realised Shit! I'm thinking about sex and Hummel again!
He'd just barely registered that Hummel was walking away from him and was surprised by the intensity of the gaze that Hummel fixed on him. Enough to make him blush even more, Puck barely had time to wonder if he had enough blood in him as it competed against itself to flood north to his face, or well, south which would need a shit load to get mighty Puckzilla to stand to attention thank you very much thought Puck with a smirk.
It was then that Puck registered what Kurt had said. Better? What the fuck? No-one has got better guns than me! It was then that Puck got angry, enough to cause a flicker of alarm over Kurt's face. "Who?" Puck demanded stalking forwards to get into Kurt's face.
Kurt recoiled in fear when Puck shouted at him thinking he had finally gone too far and was about to get the living daylights beaten out of him.
"I said who? Who has got better guns than I have Hummel? I'll beat the crap out of them with one hand!" Puck stormed.
Kurt released an internal sigh of relief. Puck wasn't angry at him… he was just concerned about his badass reputation. At this Kurt snorted, followed up by a full blown bend over and clutch your stomach kind of laughter.
Puck looked on in bewilderment, Why is he laughing at me. Again? "Hey! Don't laugh at me!" Kurt now had tears running down his cheeks. "Answer my question Hummel! Who the hell do you think has better guns than me?" By this time, Kurt had collapsed onto the floor sobbing with laughter. "He's insane!" thought Puck "Shit, did I just say that out loud?" "OMG! I'm going to die of mortification!" Puck was now having an internal debate with his mind to mouth filter. Shut Up! Shut Up! "Shut Up Brain!"
Puck blushed.
Kurt was desperately trying to get control of himself. But with every word that escaped out of Pucks mouth, Kurt would be sent into a fresh fit of giggles. With the last volition of thought to mouth filter of Pucks, Kurt was trying to gulp fresh air while still laughing. This resulted in Kurt coughing and gagging. Unable to catch his breath, Kurt started panicking. His only conscious thought – Puck of all people put me into hysterics!
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Mischievious Gleek