I dont own Vampire Academy only this little made up fanfic. lol.

so enjoy the chapter!

Rose's POV

I felt like a monster.

I am a monster…

What I did to that Strigoi haunted me, it make me feel horrible. I didn't deserved to live, I didn't. I knew that if I give in into the spirit darkness, it could happen again. I had no control whatsoever over my own body, mind, and soul.

It was horrible what I did. I couldn't stop myself from felling sick of me. The darkness was too much this time, and I am afraid that I'll be taken over bit it afraid that this time I might hurt some innocent other than a Strigoi. A human or worst a child, I couldn't believe I've done something monstrous, I saw sick; of myself.

The images wouldn't leave my head. They were there re-playing inside my head over and over. When lightning strike I could see that last Strigoi I killed. Well it was his ghost that I saw.

It was freezing cold and raining hard. My body was sore from the massacre I did back at court, and my left arm was broken. I limped all the way to the airport. I walked all night and day (human time), I was exhausted, hungry, and in pain. I also felt sick of my entire being. Those images will hunt me for the rest of my life, I know they will and if I close my eyes I could see it. I could see it all, that is why I didn't want to sleep, I know that once my eyes are closed I'll dream of what I've done.

I was soaking wet once I entered inside the warm airport.

I went straight to the nearest bathroom, luckily it was empty and I locked the door.

Once inside I took my shirts off and dry them on the bathroom hand dryers, and stopped the bleeding on my left arm, I clean myself up completely. The mud and the Strigois blood, I wrapped the toilet paper around my felt arm and kept it immobilized.

I saw my reflection on the mirror. The girl who stared back at me was a stranger.

This stranger had the darkest and evil eyes I've never seen before. Her hair was wild around her making her look more sinister, and the scratches on her face made her looked dangerous. As if she was a victim or the bad person. This stranger seemed to know that she was going to stay a little bit longer, and I was afraid that it could happen. Afraid that if this new stranger stays here my old self will be lost in the darkness, abhorrence, and pain.

I knew now that my old-self has died. I was afraid of it. But then, it was meant to happen.

The only person I cared about the most in this life didn't love me. I wanted him to love me unconditionally but it's not that I can make a person to love the way I loved him back. I thought that if I fought for our love, he could still love me, fight for what we shared. Love fades…

Yes. Love does fade… I feel it now. I feel as if a big part of my soul has die along with my heart breaking in little pieces. There is no way possible someone could mend this soul and heart back together. It has died already and it is fading away. A tear ran down my face but I could not feel anything anymore, I was numb from the inside my feelings of love happiness are completely fading. The only tear of my one and last love has made its way down. The last tears I will shade from this moment on.

I will let nothing get close to me neither I will be closed to anyone. It is too much pain to suffer when you are hurt from what you love the most.

The best way to keep on going is to have a cold hearted soul. A soul, that does not feel any pain at all and, a heart that has no feeling of love anymore.

Now I feel ready to face the world. Except, that it wasn't really the old me now. No, I was the newly broken Rose now…

I have to thank him for making me this way someday. I thought angrily.

Once my clothes and I were dry, I went outside.

I didn't know what I was going to do but then again I wasn't thinking. I just reacted.

People kept giving me weird glares; as if they knew what I've done earlier…

I was ignoring every glared this humans gave me. Their glances made feel uncomfortable, as if they know to stay away from me, that's what I called natural instincts. Staying away from danger…

I headed right straight to the fly attendance. Not know what in the world I was about to do, but I had to get out of here.

"Hi, I don't have a reservation. I want the next available flight there is." I asked casually.

The human looked at me weirdly then started typing on her computer. I looked around and make sure I was completely hidden from the cameras. I knew that Adrian will try to find me probably thinking I've taken his credit card. But I was smart enough to take out some cash in the ATM at the court. If I wanted to leave I need it to be credit card clean, especially when I didn't have any money.

"The last one was a flight to Moscow, but it's already leaving."

Anywhere but there might as well send me to hell…

"The only available flight we have now and ready to board is to London." She said looking up her computer.

"I'll take that." Might as well leave far, far away, than stay in the same country where he or the others couldn't find me. Hell. I wanted to leave this planet if it was possible.

"Is it a round trip?"

"No. one way." I wasn't sure if I was ever coming back.

"It's going to be one thousand, seven hundred ninety-nine. Are you going to pay in debit or credit?"

"Cash."

Her eyes widen and asked me for my ID.

"Are you sure you are 18?" she asked skeptically.

"Of course I am. Why do you think I have money in cash? My family gave me money on my birth day and I decided to visit my grandparents in London." A simple little lie, I made it sound believable.

"Oh, I see now. Ok, have a pleasant trip." She waved me good bye.

Then I remember that I had my knife on my boot. So I hide it under my toilet bandage arm. As soon as I passed security they asked me about my arm. I told them I recently had a surgery and had metal plates put in.

Once again people believed my lies. I was getting good at them to; I just got my easy way out of the country.

Sitting in the plane I was anxiously waiting for it to take off. My head ache was getting worse by the minute and the damn plane was still on the ground. Once the fly attendance announced they were ready to take off, I could not be happier to leave Montana and the United Stated.

Once we were on air, my head exploded. The pain was unbearable, I felt as if there was a drum inside my head. I started to see them; I saw the black stops dancing in front of my eyes. I knew this was going to be a long sixteen hour trip.

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