Chapter 3 – The Education of Judith Vardamon

A/N – I apologize for my extended absence! I think instead of promising to post "soon" I will, in the future, promise to post "as soon as I can." Things got busy and my muse is a real bitch sometimes. Plus, I struggled a lot with this chapter since I had so much information and detail to get through with Bill and Judith's history, not to mention throwing Lorena into the mix. It was a bear to write, but I hope that it's worth the wait. Plus, it's long! Hopefully that will compensate for my tardiness. Anyway, on with the show!

Bon Temps, Louisiana

Present – just after Bill answered his door to find Judith Vardamon waiting for him on the other side . . .

"Judith," he whispered, "it has been so long. Please, come in." He moved aside slowly and with great effort, allowing her to enter his home.

Judith moved to the living room, looking around. She had always been curious about Bill's roots. Naturally, he was familiar with hers. Being here gave her more insight into the man Bill had been and allowed her to get a sense of the Vampire he had become since their parting. Judith liked being on equal footing. Seeing him in his ancestral home was a pleasure she'd never dared hope to experience. Naturally the space had been upgraded and enhanced with electricity and modern appliances, yet he had clearly been careful to preserve as many of the original features as was possible. The furniture was heavy and antique, along with the lighting, selected to fit the antebellum character of the mansion. Television, sound system, and computer equipment could be hidden from view when not in use. This place was Bill through and through, and Judith imagined how it must have pleased him to finally be able to return home. That made it hurt all the more to think that his condition was robbing him of the peace he craved. He'd more than earned it. She was determined to give it back to him, if only she could convince him to let her help.

Judith seated herself on the sofa, followed by her invalid host. He asked without looking in her eyes, "May I offer you something to drink? I have True Blood, or maybe some Royalty?"

"No thank you," she said, willing him with all of her mind and heart to look at her, "later perhaps. Please, sit down and tell me what is hurting you so."

He stood very still for a moment, his back turned away from her and shoulders slumped. Bill began to move toward the armchair facing her, but was interrupted once more by his guest, "Why don't you join me on the sofa, Bill? Please."

"As you wish," he said, hobbling over and lowering himself next to her. Though he had no need to breathe, he heaved a heavy sigh before speaking once more in his cool, smooth voice, "I'm glad to see you again, Judy. I thought that I felt you close by earlier, but I was sure that I was dreaming. I've thought of you often . . . I think of you often."

He winced and turned his head, and she waited as he collected his thoughts. She tried to imagine what thoughts might be running through his vast and cavernous mind. Maybe guilt. Regret most probably. She reached out through the old bonds of blood and kinship and caught a flash of longing, and, perhaps, a sliver of hope. He must have sensed her gentle probing, as it was gone in an instant. After so many decades of guarding himself, he was adept as ever. Yet she knew him well enough, perhaps better than any other soul undead or living. With patience, she knew that she could coax him to speak his mind and his heart. When he did speak again, Judith found herself amused and moved by his sentiment. Fixing his gaze on her with undivided attention, and asked, "How have you been?"

She reached for his hand, touched by his concern for her. He remained ever the steadfast protector even in the midst of his own suffering. He pulled away, though, and folded his hands together on his lap. Stubborn jackass. She almost gave him a sad smile, and considered kicking him in the shin, but held her countenance and her leg in check. It wouldn't do. He would shut down completely at any sign of pity. He abhorred pity almost as much as he abhorred needing help, needing anything. She'd have to work around his pride, too.

"I am well, William," she replied cordially, "but I have missed you." She searched her vast catalog of past memories and found one that she hoped might move him to be more open with her. Smiling, she offered, "I've missed running."

Little Rock, Arkansas

Late April, 1902

The second week after Judith awoke as Vampire, Lorena returned to see how she and Bill were getting along. Judith was still in the cellar a little after sunset, since she needed more rest than Bill. When she awoke, she felt a strange sensation coursing through her veins. Something was calling to her, urging her to rise and follow. Something's coming, it's coming, she's coming . . .

She rose immediately and dressed in the dark, still amazed at how well she could see, though she was beginning to adjust to her keener senses. In truth, she was beginning to like them. She especially enjoyed her heightened skin sensitivity thanks to Bill. But there was no time to daydream (night dream?) of carnal pleasures then. The urge to hurry was overpowering. Still, Judith also felt an overwhelming desire to find Bill. Bill would explain, Bill would soothe, Bill could make it better.

She found him standing just outside of the cellar, holding perfectly still, his face expressionless. In spite of his appearance, she could sense his tension. "You feel it, too?" she asked.

"Yes," he answered.

"What is this?"

"Our maker has returned."

Judith's heart filled with dread. She'd known that she would have to face the woman who controlled them both sooner or later, and Bill had done his best to prepare her. Still, she was terrified at the prospect. He'd only told her a little about Lorena, but coupled with the memory of the night she was turned, it was more than enough to frighten her. A flash of blonde hair, a red dress, being grabbed from behind, terrible, terrible pain, her life draining from her. Fear, panic, anguish. She could still taste them. And the voice. Judith believed that the voice of her attacker would haunt her forever. Goodnight, sweet Judith. You are mine now.

Bill took her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. He didn't speak, but she felt him send waves of comfort and solidarity through the blood they shared. Judith took strength from that. "What must I do?" she asked.

"Bow your head when she enters, speak when she addresses you, and do as she commands." He closed his eyes, appearing to be lost in thought, and then he said, "She is in a good humor tonight. We should try not to displease her."

That gave Judith pause. So Bill could 'feel' Lorena as well. They must have exchanged blood then. Perhaps they still did. Does that mean that they . . . couple as well? Judith wasn't sure how she felt about that, though she supposed that she had no right to judge. After all, she'd been unfaithful to her husband Richard with Bill the night she awoke to her new life, right? Not to mention the many times since. Still, she felt a pang of jealousy, followed by unwanted excitement. Vampirism had awakened a wantonness she had never imagined that she could possess, so perhaps it was acceptable to take many lovers.

While she wished to discuss these thoughts with Bill, and would in due time, more pressing matters were at hand. Judith asked, "How long will she stay?"

"As long as she wishes."

The door opened, and Judith saw her maker fully for the first time. Lorena was petite and pretty, save for her eyes. They were hard and cruel, though they sparkled when she turned them to gaze upon Bill. "William," she purred, sauntering over to him and pulling his face to hers for a deep kiss. He returned it. "You look well my darling." That answers one question. Turning toward Judith, she continued, "And how is the newest addition to our little family, hmm?"

Judith bowed and kept her eyes low while Lorena circled around her, examining her as she might an interesting piece of art, or furniture. Though it took great effort, Judith didn't flinch when Lorena touched her arm, ran her hands sensuously up and down her back, over her bare shoulders, and then around to lightly graze her breasts. "Lovely," she murmured, "simply lovely." She placed two fingers under her chin and bid Judith meet her gaze. "Are you hungry, my child?"

"Yes, Miss Ball," she answered. Judith was both terrified and ashamed of her excitement at the woman's touch. She didn't understand why, nor did she wish it, yet she longed for Lorena to touch her again.

Lorena laughed out loud and clapped her small hands together. She then reached out to caress Judith's cheek and smiled. "Such manners. What a good girl!" Turning to address Bill, she said, "My, my, you've done wonders with our baby!"

"Thank you," he said simply.

Turning back to Judith, she took her hand said, "I've brought dinner for you. You'll find that I am a good provider. I always take care of that which is mine." The way she said 'mine' sent a shiver down Judith's spine.

"Will you be feeding with us?" Bill asked. His tone was cordial and familiar. Judith marveled. How could he be so calm when she was near to collapsing in fear, bursting with desire, agitated as with the blood craving?

"Oh no, my dears!" she cried, waving her hands in front of her face, "I must return to town to attend to some business." Her eyes lit up, and Bill raised an eyebrow. "I've met some wonderful new friends with plenty of money to burn! Come see what I brought you!"

Bill and Judith followed her to the front porch, where she indicated two large trunks. "Go ahead, open them!" she cried. Bill stooped down and opened the first. It was filled with cash, coin, and several suits. Good quality, Judith thought, just like her Richard wore. She also saw fine leather boots, top hat, and a shiny golden pocket watch that Bill pulled out and examined, twirling the chain with his long fingers. Judith opened the second and found equally beautiful dresses and fine undergarments.

Bill looked pleased. "You've secured enough for us to live well for at least a year. Shall I accompany you a few nights to assist? With any luck, we can double these assets and clear out of town before anyone questions their losses."

"My William," she replied, beaming with pride, "you're so clever. Always thinking ahead! Perhaps tomorrow night . . . I do think we can fatten our wallets a bit more before moving west." She winked, and Bill inclined his head and gave her an appreciative smile. "I just knew that would please you!" Lorena said, then turned to Judith and continued, "William has always wanted to see the open plains, the Rockies, cowboys, and California, too. Oh we'll have such a fine time on the rails! We can travel in style by train, or we can take the lovely carriage you brought us, dear."

Bill bent low and kissed her hand, which seemed to please her no end. "Thank you," he whispered.

"Come, Judith," Lorena said, "walk with me while Bill unloads the carriage." When Lorena spoke, Judith felt herself drawn to the voice. When Lorena moved, Judith's eyes were compelled to follow her, and Judith held her with rapt attention. When Lorena commanded Judith to follow, she felt an indescribable jolt through her entire body and mind compelling her to obey. Indeed, a single moment's hesitation had filled her with a pain and sadness that was more intense and overwhelming than any she'd yet experienced. When she followed, the pain was replaced with tranquility.

When they had moved a way down the road, Lorena took her by the hand. To Judith's amazement, she felt better. It was as though the cure to some deep ache flowed from the woman beside her into her body and soul. Her touch was magic. Like Bill's. "There, there, my sweet girl," Lorena soothed, "I told you that I care for what is mine."

"Thank you, Miss Ball."

"You may call me Lorena, dear Judith. Have you been taking good care of my William?"

"Yes ma'am," she began with hesitance, "I'm trying."

"That's good. He's very charming, is he not? And smart as a whip! I've never met anyone as clever. So strong, so attentive, so skilled . . . such a rare find . . ." Judith could feel Lorena's desire and lust, though it was more than apparent from her voice. "I believe that you are quite fond of him, too, are you not?"

"Yes," Judith answered honestly.

"You must take care to please him. He's been rather . . . somber of late and it just breaks my heart. But I can tell that he just adores you!" Lorena said, "I knew he would." Judith's heart dropped. That's when she realized. Lorena had made her a vampire as a gift for Bill. She couldn't for the life of her figure out why, though. There were so many more beautiful ladies in Little Rock than she, though truth be told, there were many others who were not. Perhaps time and patience would reveal all.

As they walked and talked, Judith worked out a few more things on her own. First, she believed that her transformation was not Bill's choice. From what she'd learned of Bill and his character, she suspected that his own transformation had been against his will. Second, Lorena loved 'her William' as much as someone like Lorena was capable of love, and she made it clear to Judith that she was to make him happy in return for the wonderful gifts of power and immortality with which she'd favored such a lowly human creature, not to mention the new clothing and accessories she'd procured for her.

Though Lorena's words were light and soft, Judith feared their power almost as much as she feared Lorena. She wondered if Bill feared her, too, though she couldn't imagine Bill fearing anything. He carried himself with confidence and quiet dignity, even in the presence of their maker. He was powerful and virile, no doubt, but had a gentle ease about him and an enigmatic nature that was most intriguing. And his memory was truly remarkable! He seemed to have near total recall. Judith figured that Lorena must have been attracted to those qualities in him at least as much as his handsome face, attractive body, and his skill as a lover. What Bill felt for or about Lorena, however, was not at all clear to Judith.

They returned to the farmhouse to join Bill and their 'company' for the evening. To show her good will, Lorena had also procured two Chinese girls them. They were young, weakened to the point of death by the perilous journey that brought them to Little Rock by boat and rail, as well as consumption. Had Lorena failed to 'rescue' them, she'd said, they would surely have perished under the weight of some drunken louts who would have forcibly robbed them of their virtue for a pittance. Judith worked out from watching and listening that Lorena must have suffered similar atrocities sometime during her life as a human woman, though she had been strong enough to survive. Bill showed no emotion as he worked with their maker, putting the girls into some sort of trance as Judith watched with utter fascination. She'd entertained a hypnotist once for her high society friends, along with a charlatan of a gypsy tarot reader, but the skill with which these two vampires entranced their captives was truly amazing.

After she departed, Bill took Judith by the hand and calmly explained to her that the girls would feel no pain or fear under the power he called 'glamour.' He promised to teach her, telling her that he'd used it to subdue the other humans that he'd brought to them. She was relieved, though she doubted she would have been able to stop herself from feasting on their blood in spite of her revulsion toward killing innocents. Yet, she held herself in check until Bill bid her to slake her thirst. In life, Judith Vardamon had been a perfect and obedient daughter, which had prepared her to be a perfect and obedient wife, mother, and hostess under the rigors of Victorian life. As a new vampire, she strove to perfect her skills in order to please Bill. Her bite was quick, clean, and neat. No drop was wasted. She had half-drained the second girl when she forced herself to stop.

Bill's dark eyes had widened in shock and wonder when she lifted the girl and brought her to him, exposing her neck so that he, too, could feed. He hesitated, and Judith questioned him. He told her that he'd never witnessed such self-control in a newborn vampire. He doubted that he himself could have just stopped like that when he was first turned. She was relieved, fearing that she had done something wrong. In fact, the very thought of displeasing him sent waves of dread and pain through her entire being. He must have sensed it, since he took her in his arms and soothed her. He kissed her lightly on the forehead and reassured her that he was not displeased, merely surprised. After he finished draining the girl, he asked if she would like to join him in the forest. Bill said she would enjoy her heightened vampire senses and abilities even more while running at vampire speed in the secluded woods. He would teach her. He'd whispered the words in her ear with his cool, seductive voice, sending shivers down her spine. She was pleased, and hoped that he would devote what was left of the night to pleasing her further, and that he would still hold her close in his embrace when they went to ground.

"Close your eyes," he whispered. They were walking along a trail used by local moonshiners and mountain men. Judith did as he commanded.

"Listen," he whispered in her ear, standing behind her and holding her gently, "tell me what you hear."

She concentrated, marveling at the night noises all around. There were so many. It was overwhelming at first. As she calmed, she found she was able to separate each of the sounds, like individual notes from a sea of instruments. "I hear . . . the wind, but it's so much more . . . I swear I can hear each single leaf as it rustles through the trees," she smiled.

"What else do you hear, my sweet?"

"I hear . . . Oh scampering in the tall grass just over there!" she pointed to the far side of the meadow beyond their spot on the trail head. She focused, "Field mice! One large . . . and three smaller ones following along! And two squirrels chasing each other on that great big oak way over there. I can hear a family of field mice and squirrels clear on the other side of that field!"

"Yesssssss," he encouraged, "concentrate, focus, and you can hear even more."

She concentrated and sensed something larger beyond the boundaries of the meadow. Judith felt more than heard the creature's wiry muscles tense, smelled the fecund scent of musk, and then caught another strange yet familiar aroma. Fear. This is what fear smells like. The creature had sensed their presence and was preparing to run. Judith's fangs extended in anticipation of the chase. She could hear the blood rushing through the animal's veins, heart racing, and then, a bolt.

"Judith!" Bill's cries were fading in the wind that Judith left in her wake as she took her first run at vampire speed. She was too exhilarated to stop, completely caught up in the chase. A pure predator. The terror she had felt earlier in the presence of Lorena was erased by speed, power, and the thrill of the hunt.

Judith quickly caught up with the animal, which she had registered was a deer. She could see it in spite of their running speed. It was amazing! She had seen her share of wildlife, of course, though mostly when she was a young schoolgirl. When she was able to escape the rigors of 'lady-training' at home, she often wandered the nearby woods. She'd seen deer standing still or disappearing as a blur, but her vampire eyes could track the features of the running animal as clearly as if it were grazing in a field. He was a big fella, 12 pointer. Richard would have been thrilled to mount that rack on his wall! Well, Richard didn't own her anymore, and Lorena wasn't here, so this deer was hers. She felt powerful. She felt free. She felt . . . herself toppling to the ground.

Her first reaction borne of the chase and bloodlust was to buck and kick at whatever had landed on top of her. She was amazed at the strength of her body. Never had she imagined such sheer physical power, or such an urge to fight! She was a whirlwind, a tornado of fury and determination. She bit hard into the arm that was holding her down and then threw her attacker off of her. Judith let out a primal howl and crouched low. Snarling and preparing to pounce, she stopped herself when she realized that it was only Bill.

"Oh God! William, are you OK? I swear I didn't realize . . . I'm so sorry, so very sorry!" she cried out.

His arm healed before here eyes as he rose and dusted himself off. His fangs were fully extended, though she couldn't tell if it was from rage, excitement, or both. Something in her tone or demeanor must have affected him, since he took her hand and pulled her to him. Bill looked at her and said, "It's alright. You need not fear me, Judith. I'm not like her."

"I know," she said too quickly. In truth she didn't want to upset him with an argument borne of this discussion. They had talked about a great many things during their time together, but neither had broached the subject of his intentions or feelings toward her. She suddenly panicked, fearing that she had displeased him. Judith began to speak again, trying to smooth it over, "At least, I believe that you would never deliberately cause me harm. You've been so patient and attentive to me since I was . . ."

"Since you were made Vampire. Yes."

"But why, William? Did Lorena command you to be so kind to me? I cannot imagine her being concerned with kindness for anyone. She told me that I must please you, so does that mean that I . . . belong to you, to her, to both of you? I feel so strange when she is around, like something terrible will happen should I fail to obey her. It frightens me."

He released her and turned away, and she was certain that she'd said the wrong thing. She began to feel pain and anxiety again and she doubled over. Bill grabbed hold of her and lifted her into his arms, and then she felt waves of tenderness and reassurance flow from him. It had been that way since they'd shared blood. She could feel things from him sometimes, when he close or in the throes of passion, or when he 'sent' flashes of feeling to her.

"You do not belong to me, Judith," he said, willing her to look at him, "do you understand? I release you from any obligation that our maker placed on you where I'm concerned. You may speak your mind or remain silent. You may stay in my company or walk away as you please. You may kiss me or kick me without fear of any reprisal." And just like that, the pain she felt disappeared.

Bill put her down and backed away, giving her space. When he spoke again, he could not hide the pain in his own voice, barely above a whisper, "I am truly sorry that I can do nothing to release you from Lorena's hold. You should kick me, or slap me, or put a stake through my heart. What has been done to you is my fault."

Judith regarded the man in front of her, clearly suffering as much as she had, possibly more. She could feel his urge to protect her, his anger toward Lorena, his frustration at being under her power. His feelings were not always this easy to read, and she suspected that he'd deliberately let down his guard for a moment. For her. Judith closed her eyes and concentrated on thoughts of kindness, calm, serenity, sending these feelings to Bill. When she opened her eyes, she saw that his were closed as he drank in the sensations. She moved toward him and placed her hand on his cheek, "This wasn't your choice?"

"No."

"She turned you against your will, too?"

"Yes."

"Do you love her?"

He remained silent for a moment, considering his answer. One of the things Judith had found surprising about Bill was the deep consideration that he gave to her questions. No man, not even her own husband, had ever done that. Oh she was coddled from time to time, patronized or 'indulged' as one might treat a precocious child by the men in her life, but never truly heard or considered. It was as if he thought her his equal, and it gave her the same sense of power she'd felt on her run.

Finally, he answered, "No, though I am drawn to her as my maker, I do not love Lorena, nor can she force me to love her, though she has tried. Sometimes I despise her, and yet often I pity her. I ache for her, and I loathe her. I am her prisoner, too, though there are times that I long for her nearness. She can give me pleasure and peace, or she can take it away at will and replace it with agony. I have experienced both from her in equal measure."

She nodded. She didn't need him to elaborate as she was beginning to understand the complex and tempestuous nature of the relationship between Maker and Child. That question was one born of curiosity. Finding courage in his candor, she then posed the more pressing question, the fundamental question between Judith the woman and Bill the man, vampire issues aside, "You didn't answer my first question. Why are you so kind to me if Lorena didn't command you to be so? Is it merely because of the guilt you carry, or simply the passion that taking the blood gives?"

"Not entirely," he said, and she knew he was being honest. She waited, but he remained silent.

"Then you find me pleasing?" Judith asked. She hoped he did, and not just because of Lorena's admonition.

"Yes, more so than I have found anyone in untold years," he answered.

She gazed into his great brown eyes, beautiful, wild, wounded, and irresistible. He didn't move, giving her the power to respond or retreat. Judith stepped toward him, placed both hands on either side of his face, and asked, "Will you please kiss me, William Thomas Compton?"

He bent and pressed his lips to hers, lightly brushing them, teasing her. He planted soft kisses on the bridge of her nose, her forehead, her eyes, and her cheeks. She felt the rumble of his chuckle as she pulled him back to her mouth and initiated a deep and passionate kiss, like the heroines in some of the salacious novels that she had secreted in her closet back home. She was learning that she liked to take the dominant role in her 'exchanges' with Bill. He didn't seem to mind, either.

After savoring one another for a few sweet moments, she pulled away. "Why did you stop me from taking down that deer?" she asked, feigning anger, though she gave him a fangy smile, "I was having fun, you know?"

"Yes, I know," he said, returning in her smile in kind, "but we cannot risk angering the shifters in the area. They may retaliate by setting the townsfolk upon us."

"Shifters?" Judith asked.

"Shape shifters," Bill answered, taking her hand and leading them at vampire speed back along the path. He stopped abruptly and bid her be silent while he scanned the area. Extending one of his long fingers, he pointed to a nearby tree, where the buck stood panting in recovery. She almost shrieked when she witnessed the deer transform into a naked man, who leaned against the tree and continued to pant. Bill clapped his hand over her mouth and slowly pulled them back.

When they were far enough away, Judith spoke, "That was no deer!"

"No, he is a shape shifter, one of the two-natured who can assume one or more animal forms."

"Like werewolves?"

He chuckled again. It was a deep and rusty sound. She imagined that William Compton didn't laugh often, and she found herself pleased that she had inspired his mirth again. "Weres are a different breed entirely," he said. "It seems I must educate you on the inhabitants of your new world, Miss Vardamon." His voice held a hint of mischief, and she felt the familiar excitement pooling in her belly.

"There are many, many things I wish to know and to learn," she replied, her tone serious in spite of her growing lust, "and now it seems that I have time and the means . . ." The last was more question than statement.

He considered again. "What do you wish to know, Judith, to learn?"

Now she considered. What would she do with eternity? A million thoughts swarmed in her mind. Read everything, learn a dozen languages, or more, see shows, travel, at night of course, but travel the world! Was all of this possible?

He was smiling at her, and she grinned back. He could guess, then, what sort of things she might like to learn. She'd told him enough about her childhood dreams. But, of course, there was one big obstacle, "What about Lorena?"

He sighed, "She will hold us as long as we amuse her. I cannot say how long that may be. I've been hers for sixty human years. Normally, though," he continued, his eyes briefly alight with a ray of pure hope, "makers release their progeny after a time. We may still be summoned, but we would be more or less free. And we can always work to persuade her to accommodate our requests. Sometimes she even leaves for weeks, months at time."

"So, how do you manage, Bill?" she asked.

"Manage what?"

"To stay so cool and collected, knowing that she has such power over you? What do you do when it makes you angry?"

"I run, or tear up a tree. Sometimes I hurt someone . . ." he trailed off, then he looked at her again with an intensity she had never seen. His eyes held desire, deep longing, and sadness when he spoke again. "Sometimes I can love. I would like to make love to you again, if you will have me."

"I would like that," Judith replied. Then, in a moment of pure devilry, she leaped behind him, gave him a hard whack on the backside, and shouted over her shoulder as she dashed ahead of him on the trail, "after we run!"

He caught her eventually, and taught her even more about the wonders of the woods that night.