Chapter 4 – Healing the Past
A/N – It's been a while . . . but I'm so glad to get back to this story. Some of you out there in cyberspace know that I've been hard at work on some original fiction and have been having some success in contests – I've even made the quarterfinals in the ABNA 2011 with an original novel! Between the first novel, a sequel in progress, day job, and life, well . . . this one got put on the back burner. I do promise to finish it eventually, since I've been missing my antebellum Vamp. For now, enjoy the latest installment.
Bon Temps, Louisiana
Present – Bill and Judith have been making small talk, and both have been lost in remembrances of their early days and their first run together.
Judith came back to herself, as did Bill. She was pleased to receive a genuine smile from him. He seemed to be relaxing more, in slow and measured increments. Still, she noticed how he winced when he leaned back on the sofa.
"As I said, I am fine, Bill, better than fine now that I've found my way back to you. You, on the other hand, are quite obviously not well at all. Your neighbor tells me that you've been poisoned with silver."
Again, his face showed surprise. A flicker of love shone in his brown eyes followed by something else . . . regret, remorse, and finally, the light of pure gratitude. "Sookie," he murmured, "she found you?" He seemed to be connecting some dots in his head, and Judith granted him the space and time to do so. She guessed from his musing and from the tenor of her conversation with Sookie that the two had an interesting history. Well, in her experience, relationships with vampires were always interesting, and more than a little complicated, especially for human companions. She'd had her fair share of love affairs with mortals and the undead, and her years as a vampire had made her pretty wise. She'd be very interested in hearing all about Bill's former love. Later.
When Bill came back to himself, he nodded to Judith, "Yes, a particularly nasty Fae with silver-tipped teeth bit me."
"You've taken blood? From our kind?"
"Yes, quite a bit."
"Well, it doesn't seem to be fixing you up. Why didn't you call me?" She asked, though she knew the reason. She wanted him to voice it. It was time for truth between them, and healing, and reconciliation.
"I didn't know if you would come, not that I would blame you," he quickly added, "I've wronged you, God only knows, and I didn't know if you hated me for it."
"What happened to me was Lorena's fault, Bill, not yours. All you were guilty of was longing, hope, and love. I don't blame you. I never have. And, in spite of the pain I felt through the years we spent with our maker, I've always loved you."
"How can you say that, Judy?" he asked, leaning closer to her. He moved to place his hand over hers, but stopped himself. "I'm the reason you lost your life and your family, the right to walk in the sun, all that you held dear. You would think that, living with Lorena for so long, I would have known to keep my guard up. I had found respite in human women, from time to time, when she wasn't keeping track of me. I would have been content to just watch you for a few nights, maybe catch your eye and smile. That would have been enough, I swear."
"Are you saying you wish that you had never followed me home that night?"
A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, laced with fondness in spite of his remorse, "No, I can't honestly say that. You were my only peace during those long years. Still, I will never forgive Lorena for what she did to you, and to me."
Colorado Rockies, 1925
Nightfall. It was his second night trapped in the cave, or was it his third? Didn't matter. William Thomas Compton was as good as dead. Meeting the true death would be a blessing for him.
He tried to move again and was rewarded with even more searing agony than the night before. His body was broken beyond his ability to heal. She'd seen to that. And she'd promised to leave him there to rot. Perhaps, this time, she truly meant it.
He decided to conserve what energy he had left on the off chance that his legs might heal enough to allow him to walk. If he could walk, perhaps he could scale the walls of the cave. Levitation was out of the question in his current state. He steeled himself against the pain in his broken arm and used his less injured hand to assess the state of his naked body. Bill believed that some of the ribs were mending, but that was probably just wishful thinking. He was so cold that he felt almost human again. The last winter before the War's end had been bitterly cold, and for a long while he believed that no amount of Louisiana summer sunshine would ever chase it away, that he'd be forever left with a trace of chill to remind him of the horrors that he and his fellow men could inflict on one another. Here, in the depths of this chasm, he was back there. He had returned to the place where no hope would ever find him. Not since shortly after his turning had he experienced such utter despair. And he was so very hungry.
There was no food to be had here, though. Not a human for hundreds of miles, perhaps more. The western frontier of which he'd dreamed for so long had now betrayed him. It was a marvel, truly, this expanse of virgin land. It was wild and beautiful, as he knew it would be, and it had called to him first as a mortal man and later as Vampire. It was also treacherous. Now, much like the woman who'd left him here, this country had betrayed him and would likely become his tomb.
He had refused to cry out during the hours of torture, and didn't beg her to stop. She would have, too. She owned him, or as good as owned him. He had to obey her, follow her, show her deference, but she could not force his love or his affection. She couldn't force him to kill the child she'd brought home. She had done it for spite of course, as he had once more displeased her. His pride had sealed his doom. Now, in the darkness, where he was alone with his misery, he was free to cry. But he couldn't even do that now. He hadn't enough blood.
There was nothing to do but suffer and wait for the end. He closed his eyes and tried to block out the endless hours. His shivering had returned, and he was glad when delirium set in. Soon, he could rest. Soon.
Another night, or two, or three? He shouldn't still be alive. Agony was still ever present, yet it was more distant. He was fading. Is this what was in store for him? Not the true death, ever, in the depths of this cave, but a slow fading through eternity? Would his essence, his soul, remain ever tethered to this withering body through the ages?
He preferred not to think about it, but what else was there? If no one found him, if Lorena abandoned him, he could well remain in this cave for hundreds of years. He'd surely go mad! But he might not die. If ever there was a hell, this was it. This was true damnation.
He would panic at some point. It was inevitable. But at the moment he did not have the strength or will. He could still move his arm, but he detected no substantial healing. He needed blood for that.
Should he summon Lorena? Was she waiting for his desperate plea from the darkness? The ultimate, humiliating surrender of his will? He would not, though he was sorely tempted. Any creature in his predicament would be. But not yet. He faded again and he was calling for someone. He didn't know for whom, and wouldn't for some time, but she was the first source of comfort for whom he longed since enduring this beating and imprisonment.
He called out for his Caroline.
He was on fire! If he had a voice, he would be screaming. The pain that had been so distant now returned in full force. Every raw nerve was wracked with pain. So much did it hurt that he almost choked on the liquid pouring down his throat. What is this new terror? Please, oh please make it stop! Let me die! Still it came. Each swallow slaked his thirst, but it was followed by waves of excruciating agony and searing heat.
He must be feverish. That was it. He'd stayed out in the fields for too long and had gotten the grippe. Caroline must be spooning broth into his mouth. In spite of the pain, he forced himself to swallow, knowing it would save his life. He couldn't die and leave her alone. She and the children would starve, and they'd lose the Compton land. No! After all he'd sacrificed in that fool's errand of a bloody War, he would not lose it all now!
After several swallows, he began to feel better. The broth was working and his body would slowly mend. He was suddenly desperate for the life-sustaining liquid. Every fiber of his being cried out for more. So thirsty, so very thirsty.
"Caroline," came the hoarse whisper, "more, please. I need more."
"Shh," replied a whisper in the dark, "I will give you more soon. Rest now, William. You need to heal more so we can move you. It's almost dark."
Sweet oblivion overtook him.
Bill woke with a jolt, fangs extended, ready to fight. Where am I? He was no longer on the cold earthen floor of the cave, but he seemed to be in some enclosed space. Soft fabric surrounded him. Bed? No, coffin. If this was Lorena's idea of a joke, he found it decidedly unfunny. Still, he couldn't be sure who awaited him on the outside. He could feel that his body had healed, but not fully. He wasn't sure how much strength he would be able to muster, nor had he any idea who and how many he might need to fight. Humans were always a danger to a weakened vampire, though he could probably still take out a few. Their blood would help restore him. Other vampires were a greater threat. Better to wait, listen, and then formulate a plan.
His keen ears picked up the sound of laughter; at least five distinct voices surrounded him. He also heard crickets, so he was definitely back above ground.
A voice from directly above his chamber came in loud and clear, "Shall we see if our little patient has recovered enough to join us?" It was followed by light rapping above his head, "Bill, oh Biiiiiiiiiiiilly boy? Come on out of there and tell us how you wound up in a cave, and without your trousers no less! How deliciously scandalous!"
Bill relaxed, even breathed a sigh of relief, and then said, "Good evening, Malcolm. Perhaps you'd care to lend me a hand?"
"Oh I'll lend you more than that, old boy!" he whooped. With that, the lid of the coffin lifted and Bill's eyes were flooded with lamplight.
"Behold! The dead awakens!" Malcolm bellowed, "Come one, come all, and see a real live Vampire! Ten cents a peek, twenty if you want him to nibble on your neck!"
Bill rose and was immediately surrounded by four humans. The three women gasped, and the man swallowed hard. Bill watched as his throat bobbled, shivering as his eyes moved to rest on his jugular. He was famished, shaking with anticipation of his first feed in God knew how long. His fangs, already extended, reached their full length as he pulled himself out of the coffin. He was focused on the sweet blood flowing through the human in front of him, senses sharpened. Bill could smell the blood mixed with sweat and fear, scents that called to the primal, predatory urge to feed. Blood lust overtook him and he leapt and attacked.
He fed with frenzied greed, pausing only to gasp as the dark nourishment filled him. After three more powerful pulls, he leaned his head back, closed his eyes, and roared in ecstasy.
He opened his eyes once more when Malcolm jerked him up and off of his prey. Bill snarled and prepared to fight, but Malcolm was old enough to hold him at bay, even in the throes of his bloodlust.
"Now, now, Bill. Easy, old boy, that's enough from this one. There's plenty more. We can't have you draining our customers now, can we? We'd have no audience left!"
Bill followed Malcolm's extended arm and his eyes landed on the human women. They were well dressed and smelled of exotic perfume and lust. Bill was still terribly hungry, but sated enough now so as not to attack. He was also filled with carnal lust. Pity there were only three.
"Now, ladies, what do you think of our gentleman of the night? Marvelous, isn't he? You won't find any creature more beautiful or deadly anywhere else on earth."
"Oh my," breathed one of the women, "you were right, Mr. Morrison. He is so very alluring, but dangerous. Will we be safe with him?"
Malcolm smiled sweetly at the lovely creature and said, "Oh yes, he'll be a perfect gentleman now that he's finished his first feed. Our friend here was so generous to volunteer to go first. Don't worry, he'll be just fine. I'll take good care of him."
Bill looked at the unconscious man from whom he'd fed. He wasn't very large, but he was lovely. One of Malcolm's pets no doubt. At least he could be assured that the human knew what he was getting into when he agreed to be Bill's meal.
"Now ladies, why don't y'all retire to my private rail car and freshen up. We'll bring Mr. Compton to you when he's more . . . presentable."
The giggling and positively giddy women were escorted out by a very sour looking Dianne. She still hated playing the role of servant. She'd never been a slave, but black women in the Americas were still relegated to a lower status. Of course, that didn't matter in Vampire circles. She was as free and equal as Malcolm was. Malcolm had frequently reminded her how he'd suffer should he publicly proclaim his fondness for beautiful men in the company of humans. Bill offered a wink and a smile, which seemed to soothe her bruised ego. He would thank her properly later, as she and Malcolm had no doubt been instrumental in his rescue and healing.
"Now, Bill," Malcolm offered, holding him at arm's length and sizing him up, "when are you ever going to learn to be a good boy, hmm? If you keep making Lorena so cross, she's really going to end you one of these days. You're lucky Judith found you."
"Judith," Bill whispered. A single word, her name, explained much. He would be sure to express his gratitude for her as well, once they were alone.
"Yes, she managed to track you to that cave," Malcolm continued, dropping his merry exterior for a moment and growing serious, "you were in a very bad way. It took weeks and several donors to bring you back. It was Judy's blood that really did the trick, though. I'd hate to lose you. Be more careful next time."
Bill nodded. So there would be a next time. Lorena hadn't released him. More likely than not, she'd loaned him to Malcolm and his entourage until she'd cooled off. He took comfort in the fact that cooling off would take a few decades.
"Is Judith with you?"
"Oh yes. And what an asset she's been!" Malcolm said.
"Yes, she always wanted to try the stage."
"Oh, we're out of the Vaudeville business, at least for now. No, I'm pleased to offer you a formal position as our resident Vampire attraction Malcolm Morrison's traveling sideshow of night creatures!"
"Sounds delightful," Bill offered in his high, cold voice.
"Bill, don't be such a spoiled sport! You have many talents, but unlike your sibling, you cannot dance, act, or do anything well besides fuck!" he cackled, "But, I could use your head for book keeping and investing. You can be our business manager as well as our Vampire boy toy. What do you say?"
"I'd be more inclined to say yes after another feed and some fucking," Bill offered.
"Is that an invitation?" Malcolm purred.
"I would much prefer the company of the young ladies, but you are welcome to join us if you'd like. How long has it been since you've sampled the fair sex?"
"Not long enough," Malcolm replied with a wave. "Go on, get yourself cleaned up and go show our guests a good time. You can rest and catch up with your sister after." He slapped Bill on the rump for good measure and allowed Ian to lead Bill to a nearby well.
Bill knocked on Judith's door and waited. He was nervous, though his face did not betray it. When she answered, he smiled and waited. She didn't bother to hide her delight at seeing him up and about, jumping into his arms and pulling him down for a kiss.
"It's so good to see you mended, Bill," she whispered into his ear, "let me look at you," she continued, pulling away and holding him with her eyes. "Come in, please."
Bill walked in, looking around at the opulent compartment. She must be doing well for Malcolm. He would never have given her an entire train car otherwise.
"Shall I call for someone?" Judith asked.
"No thank you. I've fed already. Malcolm wasted no time having me earn my keep."
"Then come and sit with me. Please."
Bill joined her on the sofa. She curled up in his arms and they sat in comfortable silence for a time before he spoke. "Thank you for finding me. Malcolm tells me that your blood was my cure."
"Yes," she sighed, "it wasn't until you fed from me that you started to regain your strength. We were worried, Bill," she said, rising to look him in the eyes, "it might have taken years to nurse you back to health."
"How did you know to use your blood?"
"I didn't. We were feeding you by hand. It wasn't easy, since we only had a few moments between harvesting the blood of humans and forcing you to drink before it congealed. Plus, you were in such pain from your body's mending that you weren't able to drink much at first. I was so afraid I'd lose you . . ."
"Forgive me for causing you such sorrow," he offered, pushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear.
"While I was feeding you, a stray tear fell into your mouth. I wouldn't have noticed, but you stirred then for a moment, and then you asked for more. I opened my wrist then and held it to your mouth, which was much easier than spoon-feeding you! And you started getting better! I've been giving you some every day since."
"How long?"
"Two months," she said with delight. After what he'd suffered, two months was a short recovery period indeed.
"So, Mr. Compton, you look much, much better now. Tell me," she crooned, fangs extending, "have you fully recovered?"
"See for yourself," he said, pulling her into his arms.
Turns out he'd recovered very nicely indeed.
5 years later
Bill woke up contented. He'd taken to sharing his coffin with Judith as they traveled the west by day. The night shows were bringing in cash hand over fist, and Lorena still hadn't appeared to call them back. Malcolm wouldn't want to lose them anyhow. Judith's angelic voice and Bill's business acumen were working well for him. From Vaudeville to Circus acts to Burlesque, the entertainment business was lucrative and a perfect cover for the Vampires.
Bill rose first, leaving Judith to rest while he dressed for the evening. He was surprised when he heard her voice rise out of their sleeping quarters, "Bill, you were dreaming again."
"How do you know?" he asked.
"You were talking in your sleep. You called out for her again."
"Who?"
"Caroline."
Bill became very still. Were they human, the temperature drop in the room would have made the pair shiver. Judith stood before him and looked up expectantly. Bill remained silent.
"She was your wife?"
"Yes."
Judith waited. He knew she wanted him to tell her about his life. She'd shared the details of her human life with him. It was only natural that she expected him to return the favor. Somehow, in all the years since her turning, he'd managed to avoid it. He didn't want to tell her. If she knew the truth, she would hate him. Still, he knew that he would have to be honest someday. Oh how he wished to keep his peace for a little longer.
"Bill," she asked, "what's wrong?"
"I need to tell you something. Something you had a right to know years ago. I wanted . . . but I couldn't . . . please, sit down."
She sat and waited, her face a mask of concern and devotion. Bill readied himself and sat down beside her, and with a heavy heart, he prepared to shatter hers. And his.