Disclaimer: It would be such a waste for me to be writing fanfiction if I owned the show, because then I could actually make my ideas actually part of the show… Though Disney Channel may not approve of my abuse/rape/swearing-filled story…
A/N: So, I was in Minneapolis with my aunt this past week and a half, and she doesn't have wi-fi or a computer, so… Sorry it's taken so long, but there are only two chapters after this… Then? The sequel. This chapter is kind of angsty, so be warned.
Enjoy:
After Rocky had followed Georgia into the kitchen, she had spilled everything. Every last bit of her story told, from the day she had commented on a cute boy – when he had first hurt her – to under an hour previously, when he had raped her.
And the feeling of
being violated doesn't go away.
She was surprisingly kind – Rocky had initially expected her to be cold and calculating, approaching the situation of a hardened police-woman, but instead, she approached the subject as mother would, all tenderness and comfort, and Rocky feels a rush of appreciation for Cece's mom.
She supposes Georgia knew
better than anyone what
she was going through. Hadn't
Flynn said that their dad
had abused her, too?
But she doesn't know what it is to be raped. To be violated in such a way, by someone who said they had loved you. To lose your virginity unwillingly…
She shaking all over,
and she can't take
it anymore. She asks
to use their shower, then
slips off towards the bathroom
She walks through the living room on her way there, and sees Cece and Ty laughing on the couch, instantly sobering up as they catch sight of her, trembling and tear-streaked.
Normally this would upset her. She had just been raped, and abused, and they were laughing?
But she understood,
she could see the pain hidden
in their gazes, and knew
that they were using
laughter to hide it.
She turns on the shower, and strips her ragged clothes, slipping under the cascading water. Trying to scrub his scent off of her, to scrub him off of her. She is overwhelmed by the smell of him. It clings to her skin and clogs up her nostrils.
And she wants to scream,
but doesn't. His smell, which
used to be so comforting, now
suffocates her as she tries desperately
to get rid of it.
She grabs for Cece's shampoo, and lathers it heavily into her hair, before scouring herself with Cece's body wash, taking comfort as the familiar smell covers Danny's. For no apparent reason, she starts thinking of Deuce. Would he be disappointed that she had let herself get pushed around?
Deuce was, however, partially the reason she had put up with the abuse. Ever since he and Dina had broken up, she started having strange feelings for the Hispanic boy.
She had taken the abuse
because she felt like
she deserved it. She
deserved to be punished. After all
she was dating Danny, but
she was constantly thinking
about Deuce.
"Why, Danny?" She whispers to herself. Why had he taken so much pleasure in hurting her, in violating her? It was disgusting and sadistic, and a million other adjectives she didn't want to list.
Wasn't she enough
for him? Wasn't it enough
to be able to hold
her hand, and gently kiss
her lips? Why had he
needed more. Why had he needed
it so much, that he had
taken it by
force?
She cries out in anguish, releasing all her pent up frustration and confusion and a dozen other emotions she couldn't name, a scream even the downpour of water from the shower couldn't drown it out.
It was pure, solid
emotion. No words
could describe the
anguish, the pain,
the betrayal, the violation
of what she was feeling.
"Rocky? Are you all right?" Cece asks, knocking on the door, "We heard you scream, and…"
"Yes, I'm- I'm fine." She steps out of the shower, and leans against the door, "Actually I'm not. Cece, I don't know what to do. I don't know how I can do this anymore!"
"Can I come in?" Cece asks softly.
Rocky slides on a bathrobe, snuggling into its reassuring warmth, and opens the door.
"How do you deal with it? How can you wake up every morning, and get dressed, and see that scar on your stomach, those bruises on your wrists?" Rocky asks, sitting on the bathroom floor, leaning against the door.
Cece slides down next to her before replying, "You live. That's all you can do. I- I don't believe in miracles anymore. When I was little, I had my head up in the clouds, dreaming of someone rescuing me from my father. No one ever came, and in the end, I had to save myself. So… Life moves on. I've had a good 7 years of pretending I was normal, so…"
"Cece, you were never normal."
Cece smiles, and stands up, grabbing Rocky's hand to pull her up, too. She sets a pile of clean clothes on the bathroom sink, and walks out to give her some privacy to change.
Again, Rocky chapters are short, as I said.
So… did it live up to your expectations? Reviews would be lovely. This may be a lot to ask for, but I'm trying to reach 150 reviews on this story before I publish the sequel so… I'm at 125 right now… (Twenty-five more over three chapters, (this one and the last two) isn't too much to ask for, is it?)