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Severus Snape was definitely the smartest man Alanis ever met. He might have been a tart-tongued, mean and stern professor, but his intelligence and authority was disarming and prepossessing.
His plan for their final blow was brilliant. Everything would succeed in the right way, Alanis just felt it in her bones.
"Miss Dumbledore?", Snape asked suddenly, as she finally stood up from her seat. "Make sure, that Potter won't dare to abuse any spells of the Half-Blood prince again."
Alanis looked at him surprised. How did he get to know that that Sectumsempra curse that hurt Draco had been an invention of that peculiar prince?
"He's already hidden the book in which he read of them in the Room of Requirement."
Snape nodded stiffly with a satisfied and relieved look on his face. Alanis was glad too that Harry got rid of that bloody book. She would never forgive him using that spell on Draco.
But there was no time to think of how she could pay him back and even to bear a grudge.
Alanis' new task was to get Harry and the others on the wrong track, to prevent them from divining that Draco wanted to kill Dumbledore. But she would warn them about the deatheaters, because they were even in Draco's and Snape's way to deceive the headmaster himself and lurk him to the Astronomy tower, even if they were important to witness Draco failing and Snape murdering Dumbledore. But Snape knew the deatheaters much better than Draco did, because he even knew Voldemort better than anyone, even more than Voldemort's passionate admirer Bellatrix Lestrange. They would just enjoy to destroy everything that got in their way, not caring whom they harmed, likely to disport themselves with the scene of destruction. Alanis knew that Snape cared for the castle. As much as for Harry, she knew, this was a home to him.
Draco trembled as Snape and him finally stood up to floo for the encounter at Malfoy Manor.
Alanis knew that this would be the last time that Draco and her could really be together, look in their eyes without showing factitious and deep hatred and disdain, without meeting one another inimically and regarding each other as mortal enemies. Yes, it had come that far.
Draco's mission would make them all facing death, Voldemort's triumph over Dumbledore would change everything. Without Dumbledore, the wizarding world would no longer be able to be defended successfully against Voldemort. The Ministry would fall at once, because it was not strong under the guidance of Rufus Scrimgeour, who was just a poorly sovereign Minister. Their only hope was Harry Potter himself.
But would he be able to carry that immense burden on his shoulders that Dumbledore and the rest of the wizarding word put on him?
But he wouldn't carry it alone, there would be always his friends who would support him.
And Alanis would be one of them.
She swallowed down her grief. She wouldn't bear to be distracted from Draco, but it was their only possibility to keep their covers. Draco would return to Malfoy Manor, hopefully under the protection of Snape and hence even Voldemort and she would join Harry Potter. It would be hard for them to live separated lives, pretending to hate each other, while their bond of affection would devour them from within.
Before she headed to the door of Snape's office to leave, Alanis took Draco's hand in hers another time and squeezed it tight.
All her thoughts would be with him. She would be with him when he would now face Voldemort and bear the punishment, she would be with him when he would whisper those particular three words, she would be with him when he raised his wand to oppose the most powerful wizard to end his life.
Alanis loved Albus Dumbledore and was afraid of losing him, but his deadly fate was inevitable anyway. She was so sad and anxious of the moment when he would no longer be with them, but loosing Draco frightened her even more.
Draco looked at her with the most sad expression on his face that she'd ever seen and she let herself get completely lost in his gaze. But she wanted to remain strong, not show him how hard it was for her to leave him behind, to go away as if she abandoned him.
"Thank you, Alanis, you've done more for me than you could possibly think of.", Draco whispered and lightly touched her cheek. These were his words for her to wish her goodbye.
Alanis looked to the ground and blinked a few times to shoo her tears away. What would she say? How would she thank him for everything they shared? Would she dare to say him that she loved him?
"I know how it is to lose a family, to be the only one who's left. That's why I will always be with you."
Draco smiled slightly and his grey eyes glistened with sadness. Then he breathed in heavily and pulled her closer.
"I wish we could have been together entirely, even once." she said and let her willingly lead into the last passionate kiss they would ever share. But Alanis didn't bear this hard kiss that he gave her and with every single bitter movement of his unfamiliarly harsh lips, she wanted it to stop. Although everything in her urged to clung herself onto him, she wanted to separate herself from him to get over with taking a leave more quickly.
She let out a relieved and happy sigh, from which she hoped that it would sound to Draco like a painful sob, as Snape cleared his throat on the quiet and Draco disengaged himself from her.
Snape took some steps nearer and she could see in his face that he urged her to leave.
Alanis nodded briefly and put her hands on Draco's chest.
"Don't let him hurt you. If he does, I will pay him back, although I know that I might not be able to, even if I wished.", she said and took some steps back and with every step she felt as if something tore her heart apart.
Draco's face was empty, pale and he just pressed lips tightly together.
Alanis turned around quickly, clenching her fists and heading to the portrait's secret tunnel. Every step she took became heavier and heavier, as if something pulled her back, did not let her leave.
Don't look back.
She closed her eyes and her whole body tensed as she moved on and she almost felt as if Draco stared holes in her back. But she would not look back at him.
If she did, she knew she would not be able to move even an inch forward. If she did, she knew she would rather be dead than being apart from him.
But she resisted the temptation.
As the portrait opened right before her and she took a step inside, she felt as if a gentle breeze touched her arms, as if something very cold rushed past her and she shivered.
She would prove her worthy being a Gryffindor and a Dumbledore.
She would leave everything behind, even the deepest feelings of her heart.
Alanis Dumbledore would be brave.
Please look back.
But Alanis's tiny figure disappeared behind the portrait and it shut silently.
Draco hung his head.
He'd thought that they both already passed the hard times, but he had had no idea. Repairing the Cabinet seemed easy at last, what they should soon face would demand so much more from them. And this time they wouldn't be able to share the pressure, to share the burden.
They were just alone and even head to erase their memories.
It would seem as they did not even were related to each other.
Alanis Dumbledore would just be a foreigner to him. Perhaps, after everything was over, he would be honoured to get to know her again.
"I know the sorrow of losing someone beloved, because I survived it."
Draco unexpectedly felt the weight of a hand on his shoulder and Snape's cool voice let a chill ran down his back. He turned around and didn't even hide his sorrow as he looked in the dark eyes of Severus Snape.
"But you'll be able to bear it.", Snape said and gently led him back into the classroom and closed the door after them, headed to the fireplace.
But Snape's words didn't get through to Draco. He was just buried in his memories and he was not able to extinguish Alanis from his mind. Snape would have to cut his brain into pieces to stop him thinking of her and pretending just to have abused her for his plans. He could not lie to Voldemort. He was skilled, but he would not deny that he needed that girl, not wanted to push her away.
He would bear every punishment then, if it would just make him able to say openly to whom he really belonged and that he did gave a shit about what was going on in the rest of the wizarding world. He would bear the punishment of falling for one of Voldemorts fiends, he would bear to get even killed just because he gave his heart to Alanis Dumbledore.
"I'm sorry Draco. I didn't want you to end up like me."
Draco looked at the potions master as those words finally soaked through. He'd never ever seen professor Snape show any kind of emotion in his face, except spitefulness, repugnance and scornfulness.
And now, after all that years that he'd known him, Severus Snape seemed to be really concerned, worried and even sad. Draco could see every emotion flicker in Snape's dark eyes and look at him with such a warmth, that he even felt uncomfortable and asked himself if that was really Severus Snape in front of him.
"Professor?", a very strange feeling made Draco believe that Snape even wanted to tell him more with that few sentences, that there'd been a so much bigger message within his well-chosen words.
"I wanted to prevent you from becoming a marionette of the bigger forces, who leastwise knows that he is one, not like others not even having a presentiment of it. But I failed, because it got even worse.", he said and grabbed a pot of floo-powder from a table, his voice sharp and ferocious. "I just let you perform my own plan."
Was Draco really able to trust his ears? He looked at the potions master staggered and even worried.
Snape shortly returned his gaze and then turned away to take his coat from his chair and put it on, as if he just realized that he couldn't bear the sudden precarious situation, that he just caused himself. But even in that short glance Draco had been able to read a lot.
Severus Snape was broken.
He'd been suffering for all of his life and Draco had always sensed that. But he never ever opened his feelings to someone and now, Draco knew that Snape was exactly able to feel what he felt. But perhaps he felt even worse.
He didn't dare to pity Severus Snape, or even feel sorry for him. But he felt honoured that he witnessed the moment when Severus Snape opened himself and told him to be careful.
He'd never imagined being so happy about the potions master caring for him.
"Sir, I'm glad that you were so kind to lend us an ear and help us.", Draco answered and Snape waved aside and handed Draco the pot of floo powder and Draco took a handful of it. Then he stepped right into the fireplace and called out: "Malfoy Manor!"
It was so strange to return to that place.
Somehow he didn't even consider it being his home anymore.
Home could only be where his beloved will be and no evil snake settling in and befouling everything with a darkness, that even the members of the Malfoy clan could not cope with.
Thus, sweet home.
Alanis took a deep breath as she entered the common room and tried to cover her face with a fake smile. Harry, Ron and Hermione would ask her anyway where the hell she'd been the whole day, skipping her classes and not even let them know what's up with her.
Hermione did indeed know that Alanis had been successful with observing Malfoy, but she did not ask her further to reveal anything about what she exactly had been discovering and if something emerged between them personally. If Hermione knew that Alanis in fact managed to fulfil half of Draco's mission, she might have told Harry and Ron everything. But Dumbledore and his orders were still Alanis' biggest arguments to justify her relation to Draco and even Hermione could not say anything against that.
Alanis took some steps forward and still trembled, felt so cold inside her heart, as if something tracked her, to finally hunt her down, to delight in her sorrow and finally release the already scalding unshed tears that filled her eyes.
Where to start now? Although Snape, Draco and her own concocted a plan, she didn't know how to bear the doubtful hours until the following evening.
She took step by step cautiously and saw Hermione and Ron sitting in front of the fireplace and they stood up as they saw her. But Ron didn't look quite friendly at her, even not Hermione.
"You're a liar!"
Alanis stumbled back, but none of the two before them had spoken. She looked around uneasily, but suddenly Harry pulled off his invisibility cloak and appeared right before her face. She let out a cry of shock, but not of Harry scaring her, but of his disrespectful movement towards her.
"How long is that going on between you two? How long have you been snogging Malfoy behind our backs?", Harry screamed and took some steps closer, while Ron and Hermione closed up to him.
"She kissed him? Did you see her?", Ron said scornfully.
"I could have vomited."
Alanis gawped at them unbelievingly. Had Harry been spying on her? Had he been following her to the dungeons? Had he been eavesdropping on them?
She felt how she grew pale. This was the worst that was able to come true. Harry found out of her being together with Draco and she didn't even know how to start defending herself, just to avoid further mischief.
"What did you think of betraying us? Harry saw you with Malfoy and Snape on the map, he was just right to spy on you! Now you can't deny that you aren't related to Malfoy, in whatever disgusting way!", Ron snapped and grabbed her arm and shook her angrily, until Hermione cried out to stop him, but Alanis just remained mute, as she wasn't able to speak.
"That's why you shouted at me! You were indeed concerned about Malfoy!", Harry said and Alanis blinked at him, tears already falling down her cheeks.
"You hurt him...", Alanis hissed, but she couldn't move on and Harry laughed bitterly and sardonically.
Ron suddenly pointed his wand at her and forced her to sit down in one of the armchairs and Alanis sought help as she looked to Hermione, but she just looked at her as much angry as the two boys.
Why didn't Hermione help her? Hermione knew what was going on! Or didn't she trust Alanis anymore, because she'd realized that she kept so much away from her? Did she knew that Alanis and Draco drew closer, so close that it might have even been indecent?
But why didn't Hermione praise her loyalty to Dumbledore?
"I think now the time is right to speak the truth, Alanis. If you ever have been our friend, which I doubt that you can be from now on anymore, you will not lie to us anymore.", Ron said and lifted her chin with the tip of his wand.
Alanis breathed in deep. Perhaps it was just the right time to start to be really dishonest and act according to the plan. And as much as she knew that her friends deserved to know the truth, she had to betray them once more.
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