Bumper Sticker #2:
"You cannot harm me for I am short and all powerful in the ways of being cute and cuddly to all who see me."
Characters/Pairings: Edogawa Conan, Hattori Heiji, Kuroba Kaito (KID), Mouri Ran, Toyama Kazuha. Mentions of HeijixKazuha.
Other Inspirations: KID's top hat and how exactly it doesn't defy the laws of physics (aka things I think about in Spanish class). Also, my other DC fic, Pink.
Word Count: 820
"Kid's hat has just got to be collapsible. I don't see how else he could hide that thing."
"What the hell are you talking about, Hattori?"
Heiji and Conan had been sitting at a little outdoor café waiting for Ran and Kazuha to "finally" end their shopping-bonding expedition when Heiji had sat up straight suddenly, struck by this glorious realization. Had they been taking about Kaito Kid? Or hats? Or all things collapsible? No, absolutely not. But Conan decided to just let it go as a "Heiji moment".
"Well, think about it, Kudo. Kid's always changing disguises and stuff when he's trying to steal something, right?" explained Heiji. Conan just nodded slowly, trying not to make any sudden movements and trying to figure out if his "friend" hadn't gone completely insane… or maybe he was just born that way… but Conan digresses…
"How else is he supposed to hide that big top hat of his? I mean, it HAS to be collapsible!" Heiji slammed his palms against the table in emphasis.
"O…kay?" tried Conan. Heiji smiled at the agreement, but Conan was now wrapping his mind around the topic, "What about the cape?"
"The cape?" repeated Heiji.
"You know, long, white, flow…y?" Conan's voice drifted as he realized his sarcastic comment was sinking fast.
"Flow-y?" chuckled Heiji.
"Yes!" said Conan, now his turn to slam his hands against the table, but more in fists and in frustration that he had to stand on his chair to complete this action. Which only caused more laughter from Heiji. Conan twitched in anger.
"Yes, well, the cape." Heiji cleared his throat, seeing Conan's fury coming.
"Yes, well?"
"I have no idea. You brought it up." said Heiji, blinking, "What do you think, Kudo?"
"I thought…" Conan's voice drifted once again as a waitress carrying a tray of drinks dropped a sheet of paper on their table before walking away. "Wait… what? We didn't order anything, did we?" He looked at the sheet of paper questioningly as Heiji picked it up.
Heiji's eyes ran across the top of the paper, jumped to the bottom and then he just stared at the paper incredulously.
"What?" asked Conan curious, "What's written on there?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, but look." said Heiji as he turned the paper over in his hand to face it towards Conan. All Conan had to do was see the bottom of the paper… on which was drawn the notorious caricature of…
"KAITO KID?!" yelled Conan. In the second that followed, Heiji sprung up from his seat and grabbed Conan, placing one hand over his mouth.
"Shut up, Kudo." he hissed through clenched teeth.
"Eh?" Conan tried to say but was muffled by Heiji's hand. Then he saw that Ran and Kazuha had arrived with shopping bags in their hands. Ran blinked at them as Kazuha looked at Heiji with one eyebrow raised. Heiji let Conan go slowly and both smiled sheepishly at the two girls.
"Something tells me I shouldn't ask." said Kazuha.
"That would be a good idea." agreed Heiji.
"What makes you think I'm not going to ask anyways, idiot?"
"Hey! No need to get defensive!"
"I'm not being defensive; I'm just trying to say that you shouldn't assume so much."
And so the bickering continued as Ran and Conan watched from the sidelines.
"Are you going to tell me what happened, Conan-kun?" Ran asked Conan seriously.
"Uh…" stumbled Conan as he tried to figure out someway to avoid the whole we-got-a-threat-from-a-world-famous-criminal-whilst-discussing-his-top-hat thing.
Ran giggled, "Don't worry; you don't have to." Conan sighed. "I'll find out soon enough anyway." Conan felt like slapping himself on the forehead. Meanwhile, Heiji and Kazuha continued fighting over the most trivial matters in the world.
"WHY DO YOU CARE IF I PUT MY PAIR OF RED SOCKS IN THE WASHING MACHINE?!?!"
"BECAUSE THEY STAINED EVERYTHING ELSE PINK, YOU COMPLETE MORON!!! SINCE WHEN DO YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WEAR PINK?!"
"AND SINCE WHEN DOES THIS EVEN CONCERN YOU?!"
"Think we should stop them?" Ran whisper-asked Conan.
"Why ruin the flirting?" said Conan bluntly, his hands behind his head. Both Heiji and Kazuha froze and shut up immediately, blushing the color of ripe tomatoes. Ran giggled while Conan grinned triumphantly at Heiji.
"Yoooouuu…" growled Heiji as he approached Conan menacingly. Conan ran behind Ran and, in that devious little innocent kid voice of his, went, "Ran-neechan, Heiji-niisan is scaaarrryyy."
Ran looked from Conan to Heiji as Heiji looked defeated, trying to figure out a way to make a come back to that.
As the four returned to the hotel they were staying at, Heiji bent down to Conan's level and whispered, "Someday, Kudo, someday." In the meantime, Conan settled with grinning from ear to ear in victory. Sometimes, he could handle looking like he was still in grade school. He pondered on whether he should file suit against Kogoro for child abuse…
FIN
A/n: I feel like I strayed from the main point… Oh well, that was fun!! ^-^ Please review!!! And if anyone has requests or random ideas, please feel free to tell me!
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