Bumper Sticker #3:

"I said a beef hotlinks!"

Characters/Pairings: Kudo Shinichi, Hattori Heiji, Kuroba Kaito, Hakuba Saguru, Mouri Ran. Mentions of ShinichixRan.

Other Inspirations: Friends chanting this commercial along with the songs. I got the lyrics from www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=BafkFntxgPw. Also, my dad's need of having a new barbeque...

Special Disclaimer: The lyrics used here are property of Hillshire Farms… or at least, I'm guessing they are as they are part of their commercial. Anyway, they're not mine.

Warnings: Uh… severe plot bunny attack?

Word Count: 593

"Shinichi, I'm so excited for the barbeque today!" squealed Ran joyfully.

It was that time of year again: summer. The time of beach picnics, backyard barbeques and murders. Wait… murders happened year round. Darn.

"Do we really have to do this?" asked Shinichi, hesitating on the whine factor, not wanting his head driven into the newly painted living room wall.

"Of course!" said Ran, "We already invited everyone. Or do you not want to see anyone?" She pouted playfully.

"It's not that." said Shinichi, walking to the glass door that led to the backyard. "It's just… last time I used that barbeque…"

"Oh no…" groaned Ran, sensing the flashback.

XxxFLASHBACKxxX

See Shinichi. See Shinichi happily using his new barbeque. It rocked having a barbeque, he naively thought, flipping two sizzling sausages over with metal tongs, when suddenly-

"GO MEAT!" called a voice from somewhere beyond the fence.

What the hell?

"GO MEAT!" echoed another voice from the opposite direction.

Oh no… Shinichi felt the pit of his stomach drop when he realized what exactly was going on.

From the yard to the left, Kuroba Kaito yelled in a supremely deep voice that could not have been his own, "I SAID A BEEF HOT LINKS!"

From the yard to the right, Hattori Heiji repeated, trying not to laugh, "I said a beef hot links!!"

"I said a beef hot links!!!" called Kaito again.

"I said a beef hot links!" shouted the annoyed yet somewhat amused voice of Hakuba who lived across the street, three houses down.

Inwardly groaning and restraining himself from letting his face slam into the grill, Shinichi realized that he had involuntarily started tapping the beat of the tune his insane neighbors were chanting with the metal tongs in his hand.

"I said a brat, beef kielbasa hot smoked sausage cheddarworst!" announced Kaito.

"I said a brat, beef kielbasa hot smoked sausage cheddarworst!" repeated Heiji and Hakuba in unison.

"When I say Hillshire, you say Farm!" ordered Kaito before yelling supremely loudly, "HILLSHIRE!"

"FARM!" yelled Heiji and Hakuba at the top of their lungs.

"GO MEAT!" they all said in unison and Shinichi personally wished they had gone ahead, broken the sound barrier and destroyed the universe. It wasn't like all of Japan, and perhaps some of Korea and China, hadn't heard their little episode.

A few seconds later, just as Shinichi hoisted the sausages onto a plate and was trying to mentally erase the last five minutes of his life, the doorbell rang. As he made it to the door, Ran had already opened it and there stood Kaito, Heiji and Hakuba all grinning like idiots who had just added up two plus two and miraculously gotten fish - well, maybe not fish as Kaito didn't seem to be freaking out, but it was definitely something insane.

Kaito was grasping a pair of metal tongs, Hakuba a metal spatula and Heiji some type of dangerous-looking giant metal fork.

"Dude!" boomed Heiji, obviously having not reset to "inside voice" yet, "You didn't yell 'GO MEAT!'!"

"Yeah!" agreed Kaito, "Now we'll have to do the initiation all over again!" It was clear that they were more than willing and enthusiastic to do so.

Shinichi just glared at them with half-closed eyes before slamming the door in their evil, little, smug faces. They just had to go and perform this "ceremony" of theirs to announce that Kudo Shinichi had "finally become a man"; he had finally gotten a barbeque.

XxxENDFLASHBACKxxX

"So, you understand how we just can't do this, right?" explained Shinichi.

The doorbell rang; it was too late to turn back now.

FIN

A/n: Okay, that was just fun to write! This is supposed to take place after the Black Organization is taken down and Shinichi, Kaito, Heiji and Hakuba all just so happen to end up living in the same neighborhood. ^-^ Please review! I'll give you a beef hot link!!!!

Next Conan's Hint: Phone.