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Beware the Wolf
Chapter 5 - More Heartache and The Escape.
Harry sat on the beach a small ways from the cottage and thought about how everything had changed.
Oh, from the outside looking in it would seem like just small inconsequential changes. Remus watching him more carefully, no more trips to town, more chores and studying. These were all things that anyone watching would attribute to Remus taking his guardian duties more seriously.
They weren't bad things really, Harry thought, as he watched the waves crash into the sand. He was still allowed at the beach with Remus' supervision and the chores and studying were no more than a boy his age could expect. If things had been different Harry would have appreciated the attention. As it was, he didn't. Perspective has a way of changing things after all, and what once would have been a sign of caring now only reminded Harry of how trapped he was.
What outsiders would be unable to see, that was where the real problems lay. Remus had become quite unlike himself; muttering under his breath and insulting Harry any time he did anything Remus found lacking, which happened often. Days were filled with cuffs and cruel words and once a sharp slap to the face, the last for no discernable reason. The man watched Harry to the point that it was stifling. The only time Harry was alone was when he was in the loo and asleep.
He had endured worse treatment from the Dursleys, but Harry had always known they didn't care for him. He had no expectations and so wasn't surprised when the Dursleys hurt and belittled him. He had known Remus. He loved Remus and had though Remus had cared for him in return. That wasn't the case anymore.
Remus hated him.
Harry's plan of waiting until they went to Grimmauld Place before trying to get away was still on. He had been polite, willing, and docile. He wasn't sure how long he could keep that up because it really wasn't easy for him to go so against his nature. His temper was always close to the breaking point, but he had been able to calm himself many times by literally biting his tongue. He knew it wasn't healthy but it was the lesser of two evils. Merlin, he needed to get out of here.
His plan was not the work of genius; it was simple in the extreme.
1. Get to number 12.
2. Wait until Remus starts transformation.
3. Leave the house by any means.
4. Get to Snape's house.
Easy right? If he got out the very first night, he knew Remus would be unable to follow for two more days. It was perfect and he couldn't really see how it could fail, but nothing he ever thought would be simple ended up being that way. He'd just have to be prepared.
As sure as he was of his plan, he had tried to abandon it two days before. He shook his head at his own stupidity.
He had woken in the middle of the night from a bad dream and as he lay there panting he had been struck with an epiphany. Why the hell was he still here? Why wait weeks when he could just sneak out now? Remus was asleep wasn't he? He could be out of here before then man woke up in the morning. He didn't have his wand so he couldn't call the night bus, but he could take the muggle bus to London and floo to Snape's from the Leaky Cauldron.
It was an ill thought out plan, he knew now. What if Remus had just waited at the Leaky? There were only a few places Harry could have gone, after all. Harry hadn't thought of that though, and had rashly decided just to leave now before he lost his nerve. He hadn't even changed his clothes, just left his room in his pajamas, which ultimately ended up saving him from another beating. He had gotten to the door from the living room to the kitchen when the voice he had been afraid to hear spoke up behind him.
"Where are you going Harry?" Remus gruffly demanded.
Harry had jumped about two feet, spun around, and slammed his hand down over his fiercely beating heart. There Remus was, standing at the bottom of the stair still dressed in his rumpled nightclothes; hair heavily disheveled. He looked wide-awake, though, and the suspicious look on his face showed clearly what he thought Harry had been doing.
"I was just getting a glass of water, Remus." The lie had flown so easily from his mouth he had to stop and make sure that it was he who really spoken. He wasn't normally that smooth. "Did I wake you? You scared me half to death!" He figured his tone had been convincing because the suspicious look disappeared from Remus' face and had been replaced by the cold mask he'd been wearing of late.
"You did, the ward around your door woke me up when you opened it. I'd appreciate you not getting up in the middle of the night again, Harry. I don't particularly enjoy being woken up abruptly. Now get your water and get back in the bed."
Harry had gotten his water, Remus watching all the time, and walked back to his room, shutting the door behind him. He had leaned back against the door, glass in hand, and cursed himself for being so stupid and Remus for putting him in this position. He knew he'd have to go with his original plan. It was better that way anyway. He could do this. He had thought and so far, he had.
"Harry?" He heard Remus call from a few feet away. "Come in for dinner."
Harry got up quickly, followed Remus into the kitchen, and sat down to eat. One of the reasons he so enjoyed his daily beach time, was that the sand was so soft to sit on. He still had bruises on his thighs and arse from the belting he got a week and a half ago, and though there wasn't that much pain, it was still uncomfortable to sit on hard surfaces. Like the kitchen chair he was perched on.
They ate in silence. Well Harry did anyway. Remus sat muttering to himself, seemingly random things. It was disturbing as hell, and so Harry ignored it. A hand suddenly struck the side of his head, not hard enough to bruise, but hard enough to nearly knock him out of his chair.
"What was that for?" He cried automatically. As soon as he said it, he wished he could take it back. Remus' look was sharp and threatening.
"Sorry sorry." He said quickly trying to diffuse the situation. "You just surprised me, that's all."
"Don't talk to me like that again, Harry." Remus stated softly, but firmly. "This is your only warning. I'll not put up with that kind of disrespect."
"Yes sir." Harry replied. What did the man expect though? He clouted him out of nowhere!
"I was saying that you got a letter from Neville Longbottom. He wanted to see how you were doing. I'll give you the letter and you'll present me with your reply before you go to bed. You should write Ron as well. He asked if you could come to the Burrow for a week or two. Tell him you're on restriction and that you can't."
Remus abruptly got up from the table and went to stand by the sink.
"He'll wonder why I'm on restriction." Harry ventured tentatively as he began to clear the table. "What I supposed to tell him?"
Remus was setting the dishes to wash now so he didn't turn around when he replied. "You can't think of anything?" He asked lightly "There are so many things to chose from after all, aren't there? Surely you could pick one." His voice was getting gravely at the end.
"Yes, sir." Harry replied. It was the safest answer he thought. He was wrong. It seemed to be a pattern for him lately.
"Yes, sir." Remus mimicked unkindly, back still facing Harry. "It seems that's all your capable of saying now isn't it? I wonder though, if your just placating me or if you really have learned to obey. A little late if you have isn't it!" His voice was louder and rougher at the end but he wasn't yelling quite yet. He plucked the plate hovering over the washbasin out of the air and smashed it on the ground. Harry's heart was racing as he ducked behind the dinner table as a glass was thrown his way and shattered on the wall behind him.
The next three minutes were a petrifying experience for Harry. He imagined this is what had happened to the living room that first week, but it was horrifying to watch. He stayed crouched with tears in his eyes as we watched Remus destroy every dish in the kitchen, as he cursed and raged, and he fervently hoped that that was all Remus was going to do.
Finally the voices stopped, all for the heaving breaths Remus was taking in. Harry shakily stood up but kept his eyes on his shoes.
"Look at what you made me do." Barely a whisper, but it was a heartfelt one, as if Remus truly believed Harry was responsible for this.
"I'll clean it up. Harry breathed, willing Remus to just leave.
"Good boy." It was said with no inflection so Harry couldn't be surely if he was being sarcastic or not.
Glass crunched under the werewolf's feet as he left the room. The door was left open so he could still keep an eye on Harry as he sat in the living room and picked up a book. As if he hadn't just wrecked the kitchen and scared a 15-year-old boy out of his mind.
As Harry cleaned the broken glass and food from the floor he thought of how completely unreasonable and insane Remus was acting. He had been nearly incoherent with rage over what? A question about what he was to tell Ron he was on restriction for? He was mad. Harry took a breath and tried to stele his resolve.
I can do this. Only a three more weeks. I can do this…
It took a while but he finally finished, wrote his friends and went to bed. His last thought was, 'just a few more weeks.'
A few days later Harry was busy cleaning his room when he heard a strange noise from downstairs. I waited a moment and when he heard nothing else; he shrugged his shoulders and continued his dusting. He had just finished when he door was furiously banged open. There Remus stood with a few rolls of parchment clenched in his hand, looking for all the world as though he'd like nothing more than to throttle someone.
'You have a letter." He said through clenched teeth. When Harry just stood their, eyes wide and scared, Remus continued. "It's from Neville." He threw the letter on the bed and Harry tentatively walked over and picked it up of his comforter.
Harry scanned the letter, worriedly looking for whatever it was that sent Remus of the deep end. He found it near the bottom of the first page.
Snape had, evidently, written to Neville to make sure Harry was being treated well. He supposed the man was trying to be sneaky by writing Neville but that boy had not a cunning bone in his body and had written all about the letter, how he was fairing, and even mentioned the talk the three of them had had before term ended. Evidently, Snape being worried of Harry's welfare made Remus irate.
"So you're close with Severus now?" Harry shook his head, but Remus took a menacing step toward him and pushed him so hard he fell on his backside. "I suppose he was the one who told you about Sirius and I. I should have known he'd take it upon himself to tell you. I'm sure the thought it was one final dig to Sirius."
He grabbed Harry by the collar and pulled him up until they were nearly nose-to-nose. "Did you even wait until Padfoot completely fell into the veil before replacing him with that greasy bastard? Sirius would be ashamed of you. I didn't think I could hate you anymore than I all ready do, but I was wrong."
The air left Harry's lungs at that statement, but he didn't have time to think about the cruel words before he was let go and fell backwards once more. He looked up from his position on the floor in time to see Remus take off his belt. He scurried away from what he knew was coming.
"Come. Here." Remus demanded, pointing his finger to the floor in front of him.
"No." Harry whispered, shaking his slightly; and though he was shaking in fear, he bolting for the door. He got halfway to the stairs before he was tackled to the floor. He struggled and kicked, but Remus was stronger and once he got his arms around Harry, the boy had no chance. Remus dragged him back to his room and threw Harry to the floor. As he calmly stepped in and locked the door, Harry made one last-ditch effort to at least postpone what he knew was coming. He knew it was futile but he scrambled toward his bathroom door anyway.
It shut just a he reached it. The audible click telling him it had been locked. He turned around slowly and saw Remus stowing his wand back into his inner vest pocket.
"You," He remarked with eerie calmness, "are in big trouble, young man."
Harry let out a single terrified sob.
Harry couldn't move the next morning, he was so sore. Remus hadn't been able to stick him to any surface at first and so just hit Harry as he lay curled on the floor or as he tried to crawl away. Harry eventually was such a sobbing, shaking mess he was unable to try to get away anymore, Remus had lifted him onto his bed, and the beating had started in earnest.
He was sure he was bruised all along his back and sides as well as his thighs and buttocks. The old ones had just turned yellow but the new ones would probably overlap those now. He lay in the bed for the rest of that day and the next, only getting up to use the loo and get water from the tap. He was to sick and in pain to even think of venturing downstairs for food.
Remus, thankfully, stayed away.
Harry finally got out of bed the third day and went downstairs to eat. Breakfast was on the table and while he tried to stand up and eat, Remus had pushed him into a chair.
Harry inhaled through his teeth as his abused backside hit the chair and tried to stand back up. Hands on his shoulders prevented him from doing so and a hissed, "Stay there," prevented him from trying to get up again.
"Why? " Harry asked after he finished his breakfast and was about to leave the room. He was standing in the door way and he suddenly had to have the answer to this question.
"Why what?" Remus asked uncaringly from behind his Daily Prophet.
"Why did you consent to be my guardian if you hate me so much? You obviously don't want me. Why not let someone else have me?"
"Sirius gave you to me." He said as if that answered the question completely. Harry just looked at him silently before leaving the room and heading for the study. Two more weeks and he was getting out of here. Hopefully after then he'd never have to see the hateful face of Remus Lupin ever again.
The first two weeks of July moved slowly, too slowly for Harry's liking. His backside and thighs were covered in bruises in various stages of healing. Constant reminders of the two beatings he had received. His face had a yellow green bruise from a slap for 'cheek' that Remus had refused to heal. Their routine had continued in the same pattern during those two weeks and Harry had never been so thankful when the day of the full moon finally arrived.
He was significantly less glad when Remus told him, after they had arrived at Number 12, that he had blocked the floo and would be booby trapping all the doors and windows.
"If you don't try to leave this time, I'll take you off restriction. I'm doing this for you Harry. You have to learn."
Harry didn't know whom Remus was doing it for, but it wasn't him. He was going to find a way out of this Merlin-forsaken house if it killed him. He wasn't going to step one more tow in that cottage ever again, but he had only nodded his acceptance to Remus' decree.
It seemed to him that he had traded one abusive environment for another and he wasn't going to take it anymore. He had a place to go, two in fact. He just needed a way out of the house.
The full moon was up and the noises from the dungeon told Harry it was time to move. He had to be out of the house tonight. It would give him two days to reach Snape's and convince whoever he could that Remus needed help and keep him as far away from Harry as possible. Remus would be in no fit condition to look for him until the end of the moon cycle. As long as he got out tonight, he would be fine.
Hours later, he was no closer to leaving when the answer came to him in a burst of hysteria-filled inspiration at 4:30 in the morning.
"Kreacher!"
The ugly little elf popped into existence right in front of him, but before he could say anything derogatory, Harry quickly cut in.
"Can you pop me out to the road in front of the house?"
"Why stupid half-blood master wants this, Kreacher wonders."
"Answer the damn question!"
"Kreacher can. Oh what would Mistress say if she…"
"Yes, yes, she'd be horrified I'm sure. Kreacher I want you to pop me out to the street and then go back to Hogwarts. If Remus summons you, do not come. That is an order. Understand?"
Kreacher looked at him for a moment before grabbing him suddenly and popping him out to the street. Before he took off again Harry stopped him.
"Do you know where we were staying, the Cottage in Tintagel?"
"Kreacher knows."
"Go there and find my wand and bring it here as quick as you can. Then I want you to go back, pack all my things in my trunk and bring it to my bed in Gryffindor tower. Do not destroy anything."
By six o'clock Harry was sitting anxiously on the night bus, wand in hand, headed for The Leaky Cauldron. The bus was ridiculously full because of morning commuters, and it was well past eight o'clock before he finally arrived. He tried to reassure himself that Remus would still be passed out right now and that any wards would not have been tripped and so even if he were awake he would think Harry was just asleep or sulking in the house somewhere.
It didn't reassure him though and he looked furtively around before the establishment before asking Tom for passage through his floo.
"Are you sure you don't want St. Mungo's Mr. Potter?" Tom whispered anxiously, obviously noticing the bruises on his face.
"No sir, I just need to use the floo to get somewhere safe. Please, sir, I'm in a hurry." The desperation must have leaked into his voice because Tom refused to take the last two Knuts Harry had on him and just told him to be careful as he escorted the boy to the floo himself.
Harry quickly threw in some powder, stepped into the fire, and whispered clearly. "Severus Snape's home. Spinners End." He desperately hoped that was the right way to say it.
When he stepped out of the floo into the drawing room of what had to be Severus Snape's house, he was surprised to find both Snape and the Headmaster sitting in wingback chairs next to the fire.
Both men looked properly shocked then worried when they saw the state he was in. They both jumped up from their chair and started to usher him to the sofa, but the adrenaline in Harry's system was gone, and now that he knew he was safe he just couldn't keep his eyes open any longer.
He collapsed on the couch and as Dumbledore sent a Patronus to Madam Pomfrey Snape knelt down nest to the boy as he lay on the couch.
"You were right Professor." Was all he could say to the man's questioning look before he promptly passed out from exhaustion.