I realize that it's been a very long time, but it's here, it's waiting to be read and reviewed, and rejoice because you know eventually I'll make another chapter. Thank you all those who have waited so patiently and egged me on, I hope I continue to write chapters worthy of your praise!
Enjoy and review! Remember, 3 questions max per reviewer!
(Opening theme)
Me: So...it's been a while, has it not?
F: I think everyone's feeling rusty, yea.
Me: It's not really my fault; there have been other things that have concerned me. School, for instance. Homework and whatnot.
(X punches fist in the air)
X: School? Homework? We know not the meaning of those words!
C: That's because you never got past high school, dumbass.
S: Spot on.
X: Yea, well it's not like you even went to high school, you creep.
S: Then it says a lot about your lack of intelligence, doesn't it?
AY: Hey!
(X pats AY's hand)
X: I believe that's my hey.
(X turns to S)
X: Hey!
G: For heaven's sake, can we please continue on?
D: Seriously.
Me: Let's. Alrighty then. As always, we have Buffy as our first interviewee up. From kenyon87...
(drum roll)
"You dated James trying to get over Faith, which obviously didn't work, is that why you dated Riley too? (And don't say it was Angel; we all know you loved her then, too.)"
(W's eyebrows go up)
W: Ooh. Good question.
Me: From ToryV...
(drum roll)
"If Riley walked into the room right now would you:
A. Get all shy and blushy
B. Act indifferent
C. Cling to Faith in an attempt to make him jealous or
D. Tackle Cordelia just for the hell of it. (It better not be A or I will ninja your blonde ass.)"
(B gets indignant)
B: I'd like to see you try!
(F raises eyebrow)
F: Well let's hope there's no reason for her to try.
AY: You can hope. The rest of us will hope otherwise.
(F frowns)
F: Why?
K: Isn't it obvious? She wants to get into your pants.
AY: I've already done that.
(Everyone gapes)
B: Excuse me?!
(AY gets defensive)
AY: Well I returned them the next week cleaned!
(B visibly relaxes)
B: Oh. Right.
(S sniggers)
S: Way to give the Slayer a heart attack.
Me: From Jinxgirl...
(drum roll)
"How many times would you estimate that you've used pouting, crying or sex (estimate each time) to get Faith to agree to do something/not do something? When was the last time that all of the above failed?"
(K snorts)
K: Pft. Never.
(F scowls)
F: That's a lie.
S: Well I'm sure she's done that plenty of times.
K: What is that supposed to mean?
S: What do you think?
(K cocks head)
K: Are you kidding me? You do know that I'm a Slayer, right?
(S rolls eyes)
S: No, I completely forgot.
(K scowls and moves towards S)
K: I'm gonna kill this motherfucker.
(W holds her back)
W: Whoa there, Slayer! No killing of the ensouled vampires. Those are kinda rare.
(X shrugs)
X: We could do without them.
(AG & S bare fangs)
(X jumps)
X: Not! We could not do without them!
AG: Pussy.
(X grumbles)
Me: I believe that's it, Buffy. You may proceed with the first question, which was:
"You dated James trying to get over Faith, which obviously didn't work, is that why you dated Riley too? (And don't say it was Angel; we all know you loved her then, too.)"
(B pouts)
B: Listen, that was just-
C: A pathetic way of getting over the love of your life because you were too proud or just too stupid to admit you were hot for Faith?
(Silence)
(B grits teeth)
B: Y...es...
C: And you dated Riley because you were all broken up inside, feeling lonely, and you thought it was because of Angel's move when it was really all about-
(B jumps in)
B: Hey! Okay! They got it! Sheesh, Cordy, you really need to learn to shut the hell up.
C: Well maybe you should learn to grow up.
(B takes a deep breath)
(AY takes out the video camera)
B: You know what? I'm going to be the mature one here, and just go on with the question.
(C just smiles)
C: Go ahead, Buffy. Explain away.
(B pushes back a scowl)
B: I will. Anyways, yes, James was someone I just fell back on because I couldn't cope with losing Faith. Riley, I thought, was very kind and very sweet, but I always believed in my head that I was trying to get over Angel leaving me, and part of that will always be true, but...
(B sighs)
(AG sighs)
(F sighs)
B: But I guess without Faith there was always something gone. Something not quite right. When everything fell apart between us, it just felt horrible, and I always attributed it to Angel and all the problems I had dealing with being a Slayer...I never really even thought it had to do with Faith until later.
(W flushes)
W: Aww! That's so cute, with the Slayer-girly-loving!
(X grins)
X: Cheers to girly-loving in general!
(D rolls eyes)
D: Pervert.
X: What? No, I-
D: Yea, whatever.
(Pause)
D: Perv.
(X sighs)
(G sighs)
Me: Well then, next question, Buffy! And it is:
"If Riley walked into the room right now would you:
A. Get all shy and blushy
B. Act indifferent
C. Cling to Faith in an attempt to make him jealous or
D. Tackle Cordelia just for the hell of it (It better not be A or I will ninja your blonde ass.)"
(B quirks an eyebrow)
B: Why are these all about Riley?
(C puts hands on hips)
C: And why is the option of tackling me in this at all?
(W turns to B)
W: It's really only two questions so far, Buffy.
(AY turns video camera to C)
AY: Because it's really quite amusing to watch you two get into fights. I've already uploaded them online.
(B & C gawk)
B & C: What?!
AY: It's much simpler than I thought. Willow showed me.
(B & C glare at W)
(W pretends not to see, but flushes)
K: Hurry up and just answer the question, Buffy. God. Blondes are so slow.
S: I resent that.
AY: I would to, if it wasn't true to its stereotype. Honestly, human blondes are just so-
Everybody: Anya!
(AY humphs)
AY: Fine. I'll be quiet.
B: Thank you. So, of course the answer would be B, to him. C, not to make him jealous, but because I love Faith, and D...just for the hell of it.
(AG turns to G)
AG: I'm not playing referee this time.
G: Well don't look at me!
Me: There will be no fighting, ladies.
(Almost everyone groans with disappointment)
Me: It's really a little early in the interview for that, don't you think?
(Everyone cheers)
Me: Alright, last question, love:
"How many times would you estimate that you've used pouting, crying or sex (estimate each time) to get Faith to agree to do something/not do something? When was the last time that all of the above failed?"
(B scoffs)
B: I never use sex for persuasion!
(Cue crickets)
(K snorts)
(C smirks)
(S sniggers)
(AG hides smile behind his hand)
(X grins)
(W flushes)
(D rolls eyes)
(G massages temples)
(F laughs out loud)
(AY pans everyone's expressions)
F: Are you shitting me? HA!
D: Honestly, Buffy. I'm your younger sister and I know that's not true.
(B gets indignant)
B: But I haven't!
X: Come on, Buff. We've all heard the stories.
B: There aren't any stories to tell.
W: Buffy, as your best friend, I find it my duty to tell you that...you've told me many, many, stories.
C: It's not like we don't already know you try.
B: Wait a minute, just when exactly have I told you stories?
(K snorts)
K: When you were drunk, duh.
(B groans)
(D crosses arms)
D: Seriously. So many things I so did not need to know.
X: It's like, the Buffy Diaries on audio!
(B starts banging head against hand)
(F stops her)
F: Whoa there, B. Calm down.
(B hides face into F's shirt)
B: I'm just gonna stay here until everyone dies.
AY: That may take a while, Buffy.
Me: Well while that goes on, we might as well move on, yes? Alright. Next up is Cordelia!
(C waves princess-like)
(Everyone else rolls eyes)
(C ignores them)
Me: I'll just go ahead and list them out. From FallenSoldier15...
"Seriously Cordy, why are you still single? You're a flaming fox!"
(F grins)
F: I second that.
(B smacks F)
F: Ow!
AY: Nobody's dead yet, Buffy. Put your head back where it was.
Me: And from Gemini Jones...
"We get it, you want Faith (who doesn't?) but, girl, she's taken. Actually, she's pathetically whipped so I think you've lost the fight. However there's a hot single brunette there with you now. Dawn. She's smart, she's kinky, she's fun, she's...well, a little whiny, but I bet she's smoking enough in the sack that you could overlook that. Plus, think of how insane it would make Buffy."
(D looks indignant)
D: Whiny?!
W: Well at least everything else was really nice.
D: Yea...but whiny?!
K: Oh look, live proof!
(D scowls at K)
(K grins)
Me: Alright Cordelia, go ahead and answer the first question/comment:
"Seriously Cordy, why are you still single? You're a flaming fox!"
X: Because she's also an egotistical bi-
(C glares)
C: You finish that, Xander Harris, and there will be no 'finishing' for you, ever, again.
(X pales)
X: Shutting up now!
AG: Well it's kind of tru-
(C snarls)
(AG shuts up)
(C scans room with squinted eyes)
C: Anyone else like to comment?!
(Silence)
(C relaxes shoulders and smiles prettily)
C: Good. Next!
Me: Alrighty then:
"We get it, you want Faith (who doesn't?) but, girl, she's taken. Actually, she's pathetically whipped so I think you've lost the fight. However there's a hot single brunette there with you now. Dawn. She's smart, she's kinky, she's fun, she's...well, a little whiny, but I bet she's smoking enough in the sack that you could overlook that. Plus, think of how insane it would make Buffy."
(B jumps up from seat and grabs at Dawn)
B: Augh! No! No dating Cordelia!
(D looks bewildered)
D: Wha- whe- Buffy! Stop shaking me!
(B lets go)
(D brushes herself off)
D: Sheesh. You act like I'm fucking her on the spot.
B: Do you have to be so vulgar?
(B turns to F)
B: It's your influence.
(F grins)
F: Such a smart, fast-learning brat she is, too.
C: Uh, hello? My question, my answer.
K: Go on, then.
(C clears throat)
C: Anyways, the reason that wouldn't happen, is because it's Dawn. And being with Dawn would be like...
F: Fucking your own kid sister.
C: Exactly.
D: And being with Cordy would be like...fucking my older sister.
G: Good heavens.
S: Can't stomach the vulgarity, old man?
G: No, I believe I can't.
AY: You know, there's this old remedy that could help with stomachaches. It really does work well; I just need to find a couple of unborn kids and-
(Everyone stares in horror)
Everyone: Anya!
(AY looks surprised)
AY: What?
(G looks even more sick)
G: Oh dear, I think I may have to...
(G runs off looking for a restroom)
(X doesn't look so well, either)
X: Wait up, Giles!
(X follows)
(AY tilts her head)
AY: Was it something I said?
(C rolls eyes)
C: Gee, I don't know, it could've been the mention of unborn children.
(AY makes a face)
AY: I didn't say that.
F: Pretty sure you did, An.
AY: I said unborn kids.
F: Uh...yea.
AY: As in baby goats?
(W pales)
W: I think I need to go, now.
(W dashes off as G returns)
AG: Feeling better?
G: Slightly.
Me: Well, I suppose we should continue on. Spike, I believe you're next.
S: Lucky me.
K: Oh, man up.
(S scowls)
Me: From ToryV...
"Oh when you and Buffy were getting all kinky in the sack, how was it being the Slayer's bitch?"
(AG laughs)
(D giggles)
(K & C smirk)
(X returns with a face)
X: Gross.
(W returns with a grin)
W: Yet so funny.
(G groans)
(F raises an eyebrow)
(B turns tomato red)
(S punches the walls)
(AY video records it all)
F: Pathetic.
K: Seriously.
S: I was not the Slayer's bitch!
W: Of course not.
(W snorts)
S: I certainly wasn't at first.
(Silence)
(Mood turns somber)
(F darkens and clenches fists)
F: I know you didn't just bring that up.
(S steps up to plate)
S: You know, I think I probably did.
(F struggles against K & B)
F: Disgusting pig.
(F spits)
(S grits teeth)
S: You're one to talk.
(AG jerks S back)
Me: Now would be a good time to stop. We'll move on. Dawn?
D: Yea, I'm ready.
Me: Wonderful. Your question is from FallenSoldier15...
"I'm 25 by the way and hopefully I'm not too old for you. I really do like your personality, very sincere with humor, also very intelligent. Very sexy. ;-)"
(K rolls eyes)
K: When did this turn into a fucking dating show?
W: I think it's very sweet.
X: Albeit in a weird kinda way.
F: Well, she's 25, you're what, 23? I think that's a pretty good age difference. She's not a MILF or a 12 year old boy.
(B points finger)
B: No.
(D snorts)
D: Cause that's gonna work.
(B sighs and throws up her arms)
B: Why do I even try anymore?
C: God knows nobody wants you to.
(B scowls)
(C ignores her)
(AY passes video camera to X)
AY: I don't understand why people don't comment upon my stunning beauty. Certainly all the females here are beautiful, but I'm clearly the most impressive. Maintaining this figure over a thousand years isn't easy, you know!
(F winks)
F: You're hot stuff, An. But that just goes without saying, so there's no need to reiterate.
(AY smiles brightly)
AY: Is that what it was? Well that makes much more sense, thank you, Faith.
F: No problem.
Me: Next up, Giles!
(G sighs)
G: If I must.
Me: Yes sir, you must. From Jinxgirl...
"Out of all present, who have you come closest to murdering (both in reality, and in your thoughts out of frustration with them)"
AY: Well that's easy enough of an answer.
(Everyone looks at AY)
X: It is?
(AY nods)
AY: Of course it is. Giles almost had Spike killed, and I'm sure he's thought of it more often than with any of the others.
(Pause)
AY: Then again, I suppose Angel fits in there as well. But I would assume they're at some sort of tie.
(Cue crickets)
(B scrunches brows together)
B: Strangely enough, that makes a lot of sense.
(W nods)
W: Pretty much.
X: Definitely.
F: Hell, as long as it's not me.
(D turns to G)
D: Well?
(G takes off glasses and begins to clean them)
G: I have no idea what you're talking about it.
K: You liar.
G: Bollocks.
C: It's probably Spike.
S: Bloody hell right it is! Damn Scoobies always trying to kill me.
AG: Boo hoo, you're a victim.
S: Oh shut your trap up. Your sorry arse isn't much far off.
(AG & S make faces at each other)
(K coos)
K: How cute, their first argument!
(AG & S snarl)
Me: Settle down, boys. Killing Kennedy is not allowed, because she's up!
K: Let's rumble.
Me: Alright, from Gemini Jones...
"Rate the hotness of the other women in your interview posse on a scale of 1-10. (Willow's naturally excluded, because she'd better be a 10 in your eyes or you're couching it for a while.)"
(W smiles perkily)
W: So true.
(K grins)
K: Willow's definitely not a 10.
(Everyone gasps)
Everyone: What?!
K: Oh come on. She's so a 20!
Audience: Aww!
(F rolls eyes)
F: "She's so a 20!" Please. You're such an ass-kisser.
K: As if you aren't one, either.
Me: Just answer the question, Kennedy.
K: Alright, alright! Um...Faith, Cordy and Anya all get 9's. Buffy and Dawn both get 5's, cause they both piss the shit out of me.
B & D: WHAT?!
(K laughs)
K: I'm kidding. I can't rate any of them, just cause they're all pretty even in my book. They've got their perks and their cons.
G: You mean pros and cons.
K: Yea sure.
(G sighs)
Me: Haha, that's fine. Up next is Anya.
AY: Finally.
Me: From Gemini Jones again...
"Xander or money. If you had to choose between the two which would it be?"
W: Ooh. Good question!
C: Very.
S: This should be interesting.
(X groans)
X: Why, oh Zeus, why do you put me in these positions?
(AY glances at him irritatedly)
AY: I don't see what you're complaining about. I'm the one who has to choose.
(F shakes head laughing)
F: I can't even believe that it's gonna take her some thinking to actually decide.
B: Why? It'd take me some time, too.
(F looks at her, shocked)
(B looks back, completely solem)
F: Tell me you're joking.
B: I'm not.
C: Hmm. Well I've already had my share of money, and great sex hasn't been too consistent. Faith, I'd definitely pick you.
F: Shit, I think I'll just have to go with you then, Queen C.
C: Sure, we'll go fuck after this interview's over.
(B jumps up)
B: Wait what?! No!
(B turns to F)
B: Faith!
F: What? You just said-
B: I was joking, geez!
F: Well it's not like I could tell!
B: Can't I even make a joke once in a while?
(Cue crickets)
AY: Buffy, since I know humans value honesty, I am going to have to tell you that you can be one of the largest party kills I've met in the past century.
C: Almost as bad as Angel, sometimes.
AG: Hey!
S: And always so damn bloody bent on being serious.
W: That's Buffy, with the non-letting go...ness.
D: Thank God for Faith.
F: Psh. God had nothing to do with it, kid.
G: Good grief. Anya, the question?
AY: Oh right.
(Pause)
AY: Of course I'd pick Xander. I certainly would have no use for money if I had nobody to share it's special value with.
X: I guess that's kind of a compliment?
K: I'm pretty sure it was.
(AY & X kiss)
Audience: Aww.
S: Oh please.
Me: Now now, Spike. Don't get all bitter because you haven't had any in a while.
S: Shut up, Lost.
Me: Can't. It's not a part of my job description.
(S grumbles)
Me: Anywho, now for the couples. Willow and Kennedy is up first!
(W & K kiss)
(Audience cheers)
Me: From xXAngel of fireXx...
"Are you guys thinking of have little Slayer/Wicca hybrids running around soon?"
B: Oh God.
W: Oh Goddess.
(K's eyebrows go way up)
K: Uhh...
(F shrugs at K)
F: If you have more than two, I'll start throwing them off a cliff.
B & W & K & D: Faith!
F: What? I was just saying.
AY: I have to agree. Children are quite repulsive little creatures.
X: No kids. Check.
Me: Well, Willow? Kennedy?
W: Soon...no. But it's a possibility.
(W turns to K)
W: Isn't it?
(K smiles weakly)
K: Definitely. But also definitely not anytime soon. Kids are just a whole new thing to deal with that I'm not ready for.
G: Quite understandable. And a wise choice.
Me: Good good. Next up for the couples questions is Spike and Angel.
(Everyone laughs)
C: Never an episode goes by without a question about you two.
AG: You wait. There'll be one.
S: We'll triumph over all of you.
Me: Sure. Now, from kenyon87...
"When's the last time you were ever with someone?"
(S & AG let out sigh of relief)
S: Nothing about us being gay, eh?
AG: Finally.
(K sniggers)
K: Because it's already been established, hasn't it?
(S whirls around)
S: I oughta-
(AG & X hold S back)
(K sticks out her tongue)
D: With someone like...sex? Or in a relationship?
F: Probably sex.
B: It's always sex with you.
F: Never hear you complaining.
B: Point taken.
S: Last time I had sex-
F: I could hear Angel moaning from across the hall.
(Everyone except S & AG laughs)
S: Fuck you.
C: You mean Angel?
B: Or should we say..."Peaches"?
(AG looks to the sky)
AG: If there is a God, strike me dead. Now.
AY: Well that's just silly. If any one of us were to stake you right now, you'd be dead, but I highly doubt that any of us are God.
(AG closes eyes)
(X pats AG on back)
X: You can always bang your head against the wall.
D: So that explains why you're so stupid.
X: Hey!
(Pause)
X: It's therapeutic.
Me: Now it's time for Faith!
F: Whoo, go me.
Me: Indeed. So, first question is from xXAngel of fireXx...
"You're probably gonna want to kill me for asking this, but when are you gonna pop the question to Buffy?"
W: Ooh, I kn-
(W wilts under F's stare)
W: Want to know, is what I meant, you see...because I...don't...know?
F: You're damn right I'm gonna kill you. Right after I beat the shit out of this witch!
Me: From kenyon87...
"Were you truly shocked about Buffy talking to Willow about the baby thing and are you interested? And if so, which one of you would be carrying the bun?"
F: Pft. Not me.
B: Why not? I think it'd look absolutely adorable.
(F scowls)
F: NO.
Me: From ToryV...
"Aren't you kinda miffed that some tweeds found your diary, read it, and even published it?"
(F jumps up)
F: That shit was such bull! I never had a diary when I was a kid!
AY: Though, I must say, it was a rather interesting read.
(F gapes)
Me: From spashley20...
"Is it weird for you to be somewhat domesticated? You go from the badass lets-steal-weapons slayer to the good guy. Ever miss being bad?"
B: Hey! You're being a bad influence!
W: She's right. This is a triggering question!
X: A triggering question?
W: Psychology. Junior year?
(X nods knowingly)
X: Ah.
(X turns to AY and whispers)
X: I have no idea what that is.
Me: From FallenSoldier15...
"I know you have the whole I'm-my-own-boss persona thing going for you but have you ever considered going into the Marine Corps? You'd make an officer quick and be kickass at being one."
F: I will the day I support the government.
AG: Like that'll ever happen.
F: Exactly.
Me: From Jinxgirl...
"What would you do if your Slayer powers were irreversibly taken away and you were just a normal girl (other than the hotness factor which is not and never will be anything approaching normal, lol)?"
(All Slayers shudder)
K: What an awful thought.
Me: From irock...
"If Buffy was outta the way, who in the group would you sleep with, excluding Cordelia. (Please don't say Giles)"
F: Dude. Why would you eve include Giles in there?!
G: I certainly didn't ask to be. Good heavens.
D: I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Gross.
Me: From missshaped...
"I have a wonderful girlfriend and all, but I still can't help wondering if you'd go for an Asian girl like me.. I'll describe myself more later on if you'd like."
(B scowls)
B: Damnit.
(B turns to F)
B: You have too many fans.
F: I'm sorry?
B: Stop it.
(F makes face)
F: What? How?
B: I don't know. Do something!
Me: Shall we get back to this later? We'll pursue the conversation once the question comes up again. As of now, Faith, if you would answer the first question:
"You're probably gonna want to kill me for asking this, but when are you gonna pop the question to Buffy?"
(F scowls)
F: Not answering this.
(W giggles)
B: Wills, we need to talk later.
(W pales)
(F scowls more)
F: No, you don't! Red, if you even-
W: AHH! Nothing! I didn't do it!
(X pokes W)
X: Think you broke her, guys.
C: With sheer mental power? I don't think so.
(K hugs W)
K: More like pressure overload. Geez, guys.
F: Well she shouldn't have said shit.
B: She hasn't...yet.
(W puts on resolve face)
W: Don't worry, Faith. My lips are sealed.
K: Except when they aren't.
D: You're footing the therapy bill for this month, Kennedy.
(K flicks D off)
Me: We understand, Kennedy. Now, next question:
"Were you truly shocked about Buffy talking to Willow about the baby thing and are you interested? And if so, which one of you would be carrying the bun?"
F: Nah, I wasn't shocked. B's a white picket fence type girl, if she wasn't a Slayer. Don't know if I really want any babies running around anytime soon, but let me just let it be known that there's definitely no pregnancy in my fucking future.
(W coos)
W: Aww, but you would look so cute!
(Girls 'aww')
K: Could you imagine? Mommy Faith!
D: With a big round tummy that I can pat!
X: Like Buddha!
AY: Except far more attractive.
C: And real.
B: And mine!
(G looks amused)
G: Well I dare say it would be...quite a difference in atmosphere.
AG: What with the raging hormones.
S: And maternal pains.
(F looks horrified)
F: NO!
(F glares at W)
F: Don't you even dare try to do this without my permission, which you will never have, which means you can't do it! Ever!
(W look innocent)
W: I have no idea what you're talking about, Faith.
F: I've got my eye on you.
(F grumbles)
F: Stupid, sneaky lesbian witches.
(B pats F's hand)
Me: And next:
"Aren't you kinda miffed that some tweeds found your diary, read it, and even published it?"
F: That shit ain't real.
B: Isn't.
F: Whatever.
Me: So are you saying that 'Go Ask Malice' is not even a true diary publication of yours? That it's just a trickery?
F: Not saying a single fucking thing.
K: That's not fair.
(AY looks confused)
AY: Is she saying it's real or that it isn't?
X: She's just not telling us. So it could be fake, or it could be real.
C: Well either way it could work. I mean, it's not very plausible that someone found her diary, but most of it matches up.
(F holds up hands)
F: Whoa whoa whoa, wait a minute. How many of you read this thing?
(Everyone raises hands)
F: What?! Why?!
AY: In a sorry attempt to get to know you better, we all decided to read your published diary that contained all your hidden thoughts and secrets.
(F sighs)
F: At least you'll never know if it's bullshit or not.
K: Still not fair!
F: Suck it up.
Me: Hmm, well that's an interesting thought. Let's move on, shall we? Here's the next one:
"Is it weird for you to be somewhat domesticated? You go from the badass lets-steal-weapons slayer to the good guy. Ever miss being bad?"
B: Bad influence! Bad!
F: Aw she's just asking an innocent question.
(B crosses arms)
B: That is not innocent, and you know it.
C: You can't cage a tiger.
W: Or a wolf.
K: Or a bear.
D: Lion.
X: Godzilla.
AY: Hellhound.
G: A Tartouk demon.
AG: A woman.
S: A Slayer.
Me: A fox?
F: You got it in one, Lost.
Me: Thank you.
F: Yea, totally. But yea, I definitely have the urge to let go, but I don't consider that being bad as long as I know what I'm doing. When I used to let go, I just let go of everything; morals, desires, consequences. It feels so good, but the aftermath is what you have to live with for the rest of your life.
G: Well put.
X: Hear hear!
Me: What an inspiring way to put it, Faith. Next up:
"I know you have the whole I'm-my-own-boss persona thing going for you but have you ever considered going into the Marine Corps? You'd make an officer quick and be kickass at being one."
D: That's very true.
F: Yea, but I don't support the government that runs it. 'Specially not after watching that crazy ass conspiracy movie.
Me: Zeitgeist?
F: Man, that was fucking nuts!
B: Chills down my spine.
G: Certainly otherworldly demons aren't the only ones working against us.
F: I think the discipline is good, but I got enough of that in prison.
AG: Fair enough.
F: S'what I'm saying.
Me: Alrighty then...next:
"What would you do if your Slayer powers were irreversibly taken away and you were just a normal girl (other than the hotness factor which is not and never will be anything approaching normal, lol)?"
(F makes a scrunched face)
F: Uh...slay anyway?
K: I'll drink to that.
(F & K high five)
(B & W sigh)
B: They're gonna get themselves killed someday
W: Well you and Faith already have a couple up on Kennedy.
(K grins)
K: I'll get there soon enough.
(W frowns)
W: You will not!
Me: Yea, don't get yourself killed Kennedy. We can't another destructive Willow around.
K: Oh good point.
Me: Anywho, next:
"If Buffy was outta the way, who in the group would you sleep with, excluding Cordelia. (Please don't say Giles)"
(B puts hands on hips)
B: Excuse me, but there is no "out of the way" going on.
(B turns to F)
B: I really don't understand why these people are all so intent on getting you to sleep with other people!
(F shrugs)
F: Beats me, B.
W: Um, possibly because she's a very sexual attractive woman who could land anybody she wanted?
(Silence)
B: Oh.
K: Yea. Kinda hard to miss.
AY: Hush, I want to know the answer.
G: Oh bollocks.
F: Hmm. That's a tough choice, but I think I'll just have to say...An.
Everyone: What?!
(F shrugs again)
F: Well I'm not actually gonna say who I'd sleep with; might as well make someone happy.
AY: So we don't know if you actually mean it or not?
F: Right.
(AY thinks for a moment, then shrugs happily)
AY: I'm still pleased that you called my name.
F: See? Everyone's happy.
(B grumbles)
B: I'm not.
(F kisses B)
(B blushes)
B: Okay, maybe a little now.
Audience: Aww.
Me: How sweet, Faith, in a strange kind of way. Now for your last comment:
"I have a wonderful girlfriend and all, but I still can't help wondering if you'd go for an Asian girl like me.. I'll describe myself more later on if you'd like."
(F grins)
F: Girlfriend, you know I don't discriminate. I am an equal opportunist.
(B scowls)
B: Lucky me.
S: Lucky you? Pft. Lucky us, if anything, Slayer. Means us chaps on the sidelines still have a chance!
(B shakes fist)
B: Not if I have anything to say about it!
W: Aw, Asian girls are so cute!
K: Asians are smoking.
AY: They're rather small.
X: Which is why we like them. They're like...bitesize!
D: It's always half and half with them, have you noticed? They're either ridiculously beautiful or just...not.
W: I don't know, they can be pretty average.
C: I agree with Dawn. They're hot or not.
AG: Do not go Paris Hilton on me now. I can hardly stand you at the office.
(C flips AG off)
S: I have to say, though, Asian women...they certainly are the ones to look out for.
G: Quite so.
(Everyone stares at G)
B: Excuse me?
(G turns red)
G: I didn't...I just meant...oh bother.
X: Aha! I knew it! Giles was a player back in the day!
(D puts face in hands)
D: Ugh! Don't even bring that up again!
G: I agree with that sentiment fully.
(F laughs)
F: Anyways, yea I'd totally dig. Depending on who you are, personality, looks...
(K rolls eyes)
K: Mostly looks.
F: Shh! Don't say that. It makes me sound shallow.
C: Faith, you are shallow.
(F looks indignant)
F: Am not!
(Pause)
F: Okay, so maybe a little.
Me: I believe that's it...oh wait, there's one last question from xXAngel of fireXx...
"Chica, you just opened a whole can of worms on yourself, you know that right? (Anya, just so you know, that was an expression.)"
(AY humphs)
AY: I knew that!
(Pause)
Me: Oh dear.
B: Wait, what? Who was that to?
Me: Um...me.
(Pause)
(Everyone laughs)
F: Dude! I totally forgot about that! And she's right!
S: Bloody lass was the only one who completely caught on to that, wasn't she?
Me: Shut. Up.
K: Ha ha, now they're gonna start asking you questions!
Me: Hush! I'm ending this right now!
D: You can't do that!
Me: Yes I can, I'm writing this as we speak. So goodnight and goodday to all of you reviewers, I apologize for taking so long on this, and please leave your questions and comments at the end. Thank you and goodnight!
(Everyone still laughing in the background)
(Except B & C, who have gotten into another catfight)
(And AY, who is video recording the whole thing)
(Ending theme)