Chapter five
Freddie tossed and turned in his sleep, he was sweating madly and instantly had awaken. He lay in his large over sized bed alone, he longed for Carly to be beside him. He sat up and buried his face in his hands. It was all a mistake. Why did he kiss her? He ruined everything; after he had kissed Carly she melted into his body but suddenly pushed him away. She was pale and looked scared, he told him that he had to leave quickly. He panicked and just left mumbling "I love you," under his breath sure she couldn't hear him then he said goodbye. He felt as if his goodbye was something final, as if he would never see her again. He felt a twinge in his body that saddened him like no other twinge. The clock read 4:32Am, it was Monday morning, and so far, it sucked.
Carly turned violently in her sleep, she wanted to scream, everything nerve inside her body felt twisted up into a knot. Her whole "keep you're peace and composure" method wasn't working. She scratched at her skin but it didn't itch, she pressed down on her temples hard. It was beginning again; she was having a panic attack. She wrapped her arms around her knees and sat up him her bed. "Aaaaagggghhhhhhhh," she screamed she felt boxed in, she moved her fingers around as if trying to get them uncramped. "Ugggggghhhh," another sign of distress came from Carly's mouth. Her symptoms' continued she couldn't take it anymore. Tears flowed from her eyes hot and steady. She sobbed and murmured, moving violently around in her bed. She gained enough control to glance at her LCD clock, 4:32Am, she thought about Spencer and Sam, her dead mother, father. She screamed again, fierce her voice scaring herself. She buried her hands in her face and cried herself to sleep. Remembering the last time she'd done that all alone in a college dorm in the empty darkness.
"Good morning Mr. Benson," a voice called out to him as he made his way to work.
"Hello," his eyes were bloodshot red and he felt terrible.
"Freddie, are you alright?" Frieda the African- American, fair aged, secretary asked him as he walked quickly by her desk into his office. Frieda was like the grandmother he never had, he had to answer to her.
"I didn't sleep well-lot on my mind." She wouldn't buy and he knew it.
"Tell me when you're ready to talk, baby I'm always listening." She smiled at him in a friendly way and he headed into his office.
He closed the door behind him and sat down exhausted at his desk. He unlocked and opened a drawer to show an alcoholic beverage. His phone buzzed he jumped.
"Freddie Benson CEO of Genex Software and Technologies, how may I help you?" He closed and locked the drawer.
"Hello, darling." Mrs. Benson spoke cheerfully into the phone.
"Mom, I told you to stop calling me at work." He scowled into the phone.
"That is no way to talk to you're mother." She said in the most irritating tone. He didn't reply she figured he wouldn't. "Anyway I set up a date with you and Judy tonight and she's a really nice girl, she's a friend of mine's granddaughter and I really think you would like her." This was probably about the hundredth time she'd said that bull crap.
"Mom she's a skank, all that charity crap was a lie, she wanted to come to my apartment on the first date. I hate that girl." He ran his hands through his hair impatiently.
"Now dear hate is a strong word." She said back soothingly.
"Exactly that's why I chose it, I have to go bye." He slammed the phone down on the receiver not waiting for her to reply.
"Jesus!" he yelled slamming a file folder onto his desk then quickly realizing he was in his office.
"Everything okay in there?" Frieda asked from her desk not far outside.
"Well I hope you're ready for you're meeting with Browning Publishers, they are sending one of their executive's out to meet at an office building downtown. This is for you're magazine it's very important." She called out to him shattered his hope of sparing the remainder of his day. He sunk all the way down in his chair, this was absolutely fantastic.
She stalked into her office, large Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses clinging to her face, a small bruise remaining underneath her left eye. She had tried so much makeup but couldn't manage to cover it without walking around looking like a cake.
"Hi Car- whoa never mind." A person said as she angrily walked past his cubicle. She wore pants today and a long sleeved blazer, thank god the weather was cold. She had an excuse to cover up her scratch marks and bruises. It was rare, the panic attacks had stopped long ago, and she stopped seeing her therapist long ago also. But why? Why had they started again? This wasn't supposed to happen again. He told her she'd be fine why, was this happening to her. She pulled out her Blackberry and press w, Walter's speed dial. He answered on the first ring.
"I'm at Starbucks now," he said quickly into the phone.
"Make it a double, no triple." She said her voice coming out strange.
"Carly are you okay?" he asked his voice not as rushed.
"I'm fine, now hurry up, and get here!" she knew he wasn't late but wanted her coffee desperately. So this is what it felt like to actually be emo, she thought to herself. Not the black haired kids who liked that new Twilight mess and walking in groups around the mall, shopping at the dumb gothic store with the creepy employees. But really having emotional problems, she had no self-control anymore, she didn't belong to herself. She sat spaced out in her office until Walter arrived having to touch the hot cup against her face to get her to come back.
"Oh what? Huh?" She said aloud, and then blinked.
"What's with you Carly?" Walter asked as he passed her the coffee, she drinking it quickly.
"I need you to call my therapist," she said completely ignoring him. His whole face changed and he leaned in close to Carly and spoke in a low tone.
"Carly it's going to be okay, I think it's too soon to call you're therapist just because you're not feeling right." She looked at Walter puzzled, she was telling the truth. She lifted up her pant leg revealing scratches and bruises and pointed to underneath her eye.
"Oh!" In shock he pulled out his phone to call.
When he returned he informed Carly about her appointment, that upcoming Saturday at noon and also that she had a nine o' clock meeting and it was with a magazine company and another company he said he couldn't remember, but he very well that it was Genex.
Carly and Freddie had entered the building at the same exact time; he held the door open and smiled at her. She gave him a brief wave, not showing much affection. They got into the elevator silent going all the way to the top of the office building. An old woman and stepped on from another floor not long after it had started.
"Hello," she smiled and stepped inside.
"Good morning." They both say in accord. She smiled, the ride continued, Freddie decided to speak.
"You never called me." He said twiddling with his thumbs.
"I was supposed to?" She says back quickly.
"You kissed me and shoved me out of the door as soon as it hadn't happened." He emphasized his remark throwing his hands in the air.
"I did not! And you kissed me."
"But you didn't try to stop me though you grabbed my hair, what I've heard out of those lame magazines. If a girl grabs the hair then it means something." Carly let out a small laugh but quickly stopped.
"I did not! I just didn't want to be rude." She says coming up with an excuse.
"So you had to add a little tongue not to be rude huh?" he shot back. Dang! Carly though to herself.
"I did n-" the old woman interrupts.
"Young love," she says then following it, "Kids these days I can't believe it, afraid to love, I still love my late husband who died in World War II, and you guys are arguing, shame! If john were still here I would just enjoy our time and stop fussing!" she says almost angry. The elevator stops at her floor, she smiled "Think about what I said, you hear?" she said in a elderly tone.
"Yes Ma'am," they replied slightly freaked out.
"See look what you did." They said at the same time yet again, after missing their floor they were supposed to get off on.
"That was you not me." Carly defended herself.
"Always blaming me," Freddie pointed to himself as he spoke. "Just say it was you're fault." He mused on flustered.
"It was n-" her face freezes and things become blurred around her. She pushed hard against the elevator doors as if trying to get out.
"Carly are you okay?" Freddie tried to touch her but she pushed him away.
"Get me out of here!" she looked overwhelmed and scared.
She passed out, Freddie catching her before she could hit the ground.
Endnotes
Okay I know this chapter wasn't that cutesy (new word) but there will be cute ones trust me. Anyway I may make the next chapter flashback if that's what you want, or I could finish this part so it won't be a cliffy. I haven't taken the time to respond to my reviewers so I'll do it now. (I do like Hot Topic, just had to use it as an example)
Rem Diamond- I loved the word cutesy, stealing it!
Creddie Freak- Cuteness can't last long because it has to be a catch but trust me much is too come.
Boris Yeltsin- Sam and Spencer will be introduced, just not quite yet I have something planned for them. ;)
Imaris- You are correct something did happen in the past but I can't tell…yet.
Well if you asked a question and would like an answer, PM and I'll try to get back with you. Otherwise, I am sorry if I did not answer you're question feel free to annoy me until I do well anyway as usual read, jump up and down yelling "Cookies" and review! ~ Thanks
P.S. Creddie Freak I totally love you! That review was awesome!