Sorry, but this is another shorter chapter. I think it has a lot to say though, so I hope that makes up for the length. Besides, there will be another chapter later tonight. Enjoy.

Cindy.

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A half hour after the door to his hospital room had closed found Sam still on his side facing the window. His sobs had subsided and he now lay silently, blankly staring at the wall. He felt completely useless, alone and isolated. He was angry, depressed and sad all at the same time. But most of all he was tired. He was tired of always being on the losing end. He was tired of being a burden to his brother, and now he would be an even heavier burden than before.

Sam couldn't help but think about what this was going to do to Dean. It was obvious to him that he would no longer be able to hunt. With one hand not at 100 percent and the other completely useless, he would only get in the way. And that was the best case scenario. Him being on a hunt now would be dangerous, not only for himself but more importantly, Dean. Sam may be able to help with research. He could always use the one finger approach when working on the laptop, but that would be more time consuming and Dean could do it just as easily.

In Sam's mind, there was no way around it. Dean should keep on hunting and Sam should, well he didn't know what he should do. He didn't know what he could do. He only knew what he couldn't do. He couldn't hold or use a gun; he couldn't do hand to hand combat; he couldn't watch his brother's back and keep him safe. He would only end up getting Dean hurt or worse, killed. That right there would be the end of him. He would never be able to live with himself if anything happened to Dean because of his uselessness.

He would need to talk to Dean and Bobby. The most practical solution would be for Dean and Bobby to team up and hunt together. Bobby was great at research and could more than hold his own in a fight, and Dean wouldn't have the constant worry of making sure that Sam was safe. It would be better for everyone if Sam just stayed out of the picture.

Sam had made his decision. He would do his PT and get whatever he could out of it, but when the time came, he would have to go his own way. He knew Dean would fight him, but he would have to convince his brother that it was for the best. For the both of them. He would talk to Dean later. Right now he was exhausted and he ached all over. All he wanted to do now was sleep. He wanted to escape all these thoughts for now. He hoped he could escape them and that they wouldn't follow him into his dreams.

Sam lowered his eyes to his hands that were tucked up next to his chest and resting on one another. Never in his life had the idea of struggling to do even the most inane tasks crossed his mind. These were all things that he did every day without even thinking about it. Now it would be difficult to dress himself, comb his hair, or even tie his shoes. He closed his eyes and these were the thoughts in his head as he drifted off to sleep.

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Two hours after Sam's meltdown, Dean could wait no longer. He could not stand to be away from Sam for one more minute, so he quietly snuck into his room and took up his post beside Sam's bed. The past week and a half had been excrutiating and he could not stand for Sam to be out of his sight. The days spent trying to find his little brother, then finding him only to have him ripped from his grasp made Dean shudder. Sam's torture at the hands of the demon where all Dean could do was watch gave the older hunter nightmares. Despite the blinding pain Sam had been in, he was the one who took the demon down and saved them all. It was just a reminder to Dean of just how strong Sam was.

Dean wished that Sam could see what he himself saw. What Sam saw in himself was weakness. He saw himself as a burden who needed to be taken care of. Every injury that he or Dean suffered was due to his weakness, in his mind. Every innocent life lost Sam took personally, blaming himself for not doing enough, for not having the strength to save them.

When Dean looked at Sam, he saw a person with great inner strength and kindness. A person who would put his life on the line in a heartbeat to protect a complete stranger. Dean saw a person that despite everything he had seen and suffered through in his life still maintained an innocence and purity that was astounding. Sam was the strongest and the best person Dean had ever known. It was for these reasons that Dean could never think of Sam as a burden. He was an angel on earth who needed protecting because the light that shone from him was a beacon for the evil in the world. Sam needed protecting not because he was weak, but because he was who he was and would always put others before himself. He was a light that if extinguished would make the world a darker place.

Dean sat, lost in these thoughts, watching his baby brother sleep. What Sam had been through would have destroyed any lesser person. Sam may seem down at the moment, but he most certainly wasn't out. Dean would make sure that Sam fought with every last bit of strength he had. Sam would succeed. He would recover, and he would be all the more strong because of it. Dean knew it would be difficult, but he would be there to hold his brother up if ever it seemed he would fall.

Dean could imagine what Sam's thoughts were. He would be thinking he was a burden; useless to his brother and all the innocents out there. He may even be thinking of leaving, assuming he was protecting Dean by doing so. Dean wouldn't let it happen. Sam always sang the praises of Dean and how strong he was. What Sam didn't realize was that Dean's strength came from him. Dean drew upon Sam's strength for his own. Without his brother beside him, he would be nothing.

Dean reached out, softly touching Sam's hands. They felt so cold, prompting Dean to pull the top cover up over Sam's shoulder and gently tuck it around him. Sam stirred slightly then quieted. Dean brushed a stray strand of hair from Sam's eyes then settled back in his chair. He lowered his chin to his chest and closed his eyes.

'You will pull through this Sammy. If I have to carry you every step of the way, I will," was Dean's final thought before falling off to sleep.

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Dean knows Sam so well, he even knows what the kid is thinking. Please let me know how I'm doing. Reviews are love. Take care all.

Cindy.