Here's the next chapter. Just six more after this. Please enjoy.
Cindy.
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CRASH!!!!
"Shit!"
Dean awoke, jumping from his chair as he tried to determine where the threat was coming from. It took him a moment to remember where he was but once he did, his eyes immediately shot to the bed. The empty bed.
"Sam!" Dean shouted, his eyes darting around the room. They fell on the partially closed bathroom door. He rushed to the door and flung it open. He stepped inside and found Sam on the floor trying to retrieve several items that had scattered when his toiletry bag had obviously fallen. Dean let out the breath he had been holding upon seeing that his brother was not in danger. Sam looked up quickly, an irritated look on his face.
"What happened Sam?" Dean asked as he crouched down to pick up Sam's toothbrush.
"Stop Dean!" Sam snapped. "I can do it myself."
Dean's hand stopped as he looked Sam in the eyes. "Hey, just let me help you Sam. It's no big deal."
"I dropped my shit, I'll pick it up. Please Dean, it's a big deal to me," Sam said, lowering his eyes to the floor.
Dean lifted his hands in surrender. "Okay, no problem. I'll just wait for you out there." Dean continued to watch Sam for a moment, softly shaking his head as he witnessed Sam's struggles. He backed out of the room, leaving Sam to his task.
Sam kneeled on the floor, trying to gather his scattered toiletries. He attempted to grasp his razor but was unable to make his fingers obey. He tried repeatedly to pick the razor up with no luck. After several more attempts to gather his things, he fell back against the side of the shower. He kicked his foot out in frustration, sending his toiletry bag flying into the corner. He kicked out several more times, hitting the wall.
"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Sam cried as he rested his elbows on his bent knees, his head falling forward and his forearms resting back on his head.
Dean stood outside the bathroom door listening to the sounds of Sam's attempts to pick up his dropped items. He wanted so much to go in and help, but stayed back in response to his brother's wishes. When he heard Sam hit the shower stall and kick the wall, he took a breath, then opened the door and stepped into the small room. Sam was collapsed against the shower, his shoulders slumped and his head resting in his arms. He had a defeated look and it broke Dean's heart.
"Sammy?" Dean asked cautiously.
Sam looked up to Dean, peering at him through his forearms. "I can't even pick up a fucking razor. I'm totally useless!"
"Sam, you just got the bandages off. You think you can do it all right away?" Dean stated as he walked to Sam and crouched down in front of him.
"It's picking up a razor Dean! It's not brain surgery for God's sake!" Sam cried, dropping his head back down.
"Sam, come on. Let me get you back to bed then I'll get this all cleaned up. We'll talk when I'm done," Dean said, reaching down and grabbing Sam's arm.
Sam didn't move for a moment then looked up. "Fine, whatever. I can't do shit anyway!"
Dean pulled Sam up from the floor and guided him back to his bed, helping him get settled before returning to the bathroom. Once he had Sam's toiletries back in his bag, he returned to his chair by Sam's bed. Sam sat staring out the window, his arms crossed over him. He did not look at Dean, dropping his eyes to his lap instead. Dean leaned forward, his hands on his knees. He watched Sam, shaking his head at his sulking brother.
"Sam..." Dean started.
"Don't Dean. Not now," Sam snapped.
"Not now? When then Sam?" Dean asked.
"Dean..."
"Sam, look. I understand. This is frustrating, but you can't expect to just be able to do stuff right off the bat. You do your PT and in no time, you'll be back to your old self."
"You DON'T understand Dean. You have never lost the use of your hands. Do you realize how much you depend on your hands? It took me 5 minutes to just take a leak Dean! You heard what Dr. Ameche said. I may get, what, ninety percent use back in my right hand and I'll be lucky to just get some movement back in my left? I'll never be back to my old self."
"Dr. Ameche was a dick! He doesn't know you like I do Sam. He doesn't know how strong willed you are."
"Nerve damage Dean. That's not something that you just fix with a strong will."
"Dr. Ameche said there were things they could try to help stimulate the nerves. If it works, you could gain use back Sam. We have to try."
"Dean, I plan on doing everything I can. I'm being realistic though. Odds are, I won't gain enough use back to be able to do what I do now. I won't be able to hunt anymore."
"Sam, you don't know that. Let's just wait and see what happens."
Sam lowered his eyes trying to work up the nerve to say what he needed to say. He took a deep breath and proceeded. "Dean, I...I think you and Bobby should start hunting together. I mean, um, on the jobs where two hunters are necessary. I can't back you up and I know you won't want to quit hunting."
"Oh? And what will you be doing when Bobby and I are hunting Sam?"
"I don't know. I'll find something that I can do. I'll settle in someplace, find a job."
"So, you're just gonna go off on your own? Is that your plan?"
"Dean, what do you want from me? If my hands don't work, I can't keep hunting. Period!"
"It sounds to me like you're giving up Sam. You aren't even giving yourself a chance here."
"I'm not giving up, I'm just facing the facts. I'm not giving up Dean."
"You're not going out on your own Sam. You're staying with me, no matter what!"
"Dean, I'll just get in the way. It'll be dangerous for both of us. I'll be fine on my own. We'll see each other whenever possible."
"You're forgetting about something Sam."
"What's that?"
"Yellow-eyes."
Sam looked up suddenly. Dean gazed intently at his brother. He could tell that Sam hadn't thought of that. He could see fear in Sam's face. "Sam, you can't go out on your own. Not until the demon is destroyed. I can't protect you."
"Maybe he won't want me anymore," Sam stated, lowering his eyes again.
"That's crap and you know it! He wants you for your mind, for your abilities. Not your hands Sam."
"Dean, what am I supposed to do? I'm supposed to tag along with you so you can watch out for me all the while doing hunts that I can't help with? That puts you in danger. I won't do it!"
"Sam, you will stay with me. If by chance you don't get enough use back in your hands to hunt, then Bobby can help me out. But you are not, and I mean it Sam, you are not leaving me!"
"Dean..."
"No Sam! We are going to do everything we can to get you back to normal. You are not gonna give up here. And you are not leaving. If you leave, I will hunt you down and kick your ass! You got it Sam?"
"I'm not giving up Dean. I promise you that. Now you need to promise me something."
"What Sam?"
"I'm not a kid anymore Dean. I'm an adult. If I feel the best thing for everyone is to go my own way, then you have to let me go."
"Sam, no..."
"Dean, you have to let me make that decision. I promise I won't just take off, but if I think I need to leave, then I'm leaving."
"What about yellow-eyes Sam?"
"I don't know Dean. I'll just have to be extra careful."
"I don't like it Sam. We need to stick together."
Sam slumped in his bed, his sad eyes gazing at Dean. Dean leaned back and rubbed his hand over his face.
"Dean, I don't want to be in the way. I don't want to feel worthless and if I can't help, what am I supposed to do? Am I to just sit around the motel room and wait for you and Bobby. I can't do it Dean. I just can't do it!"
"Sam, let's just take this one day at a time. We'll deal with this. You won't need to leave Sam, I know it."
Sam sighed, his shoulders sagging. "Okay Dean. One day at a time."
"Okay Sammy. Hey, you look tired. Why don't you get some rest and we'll talk later. Dr. Ameche wants you to start PT tomorrow and you're gonna need all the rest you can get."
"Yeah, okay. I am a little tired. Why don't you go get some shuteye at the motel. I'll be okay by myself."
"Naw Sammy. I'll just stay here if you don't mind. I'm not ready to let you out of my sight just yet."
Sam smiled weakly and settled down into the bed. He didn't want Dean to know that he was glad he was staying. Just knowing Dean was there helped with the nightmares. He closed his eyes and was asleep within minutes. Dean watched Sam, a million thoughts racing through his head. Sam couldn't leave. He couldn't protect him from all the evil out there if he wasn't around. Dean understood where Sam was coming from. If he couldn't hunt for some reason and could only watch from the sidelines, he would feel the same way. He would just have to make sure that it didn't come to that.
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That's it for now. I hope you liked it. Please tell me.
Cindy.