Chapter Two: Two Steps
It didn't truly hit Honda until he was in the passenger side of a small truck with all of his possessions that he had agreed to move back to Domino. As Otogi turned the key in the ignition, the truck roared. Honda felt his heart soar up into his throat. He swallowed hard and choked out, "I can't do this."
Otogi answered in a soft tone, "You can." He turned onto the narrow street and merged into the flow of Tokyo traffic.
Honda bit his lip and tightened the grip on the bento box that rested in his lap. He had gone to the flower shop to say goodbye to Sei and Midori. Teary-eyed, Midori threw together some lunches for him and Otogi. In exchange, Honda had embraced her and expressed his thanks for all that her and the old man had done for him. They invited him back anytime if he wanted to visit. Honda was sure it would be the last time he'd ever see them.
The drive back was nearly silent. With every mile, Honda felt more and more nauseous. Otogi kept encouraging him to eat Midori's bento, but Honda would refuse. Instead, he kept the window rolled down in case the last meal he ate wanted to come back up.
Domino City. Honda had never been more scared of anything in his life. It sounded so ominous. A world that he had left behind was suddenly latching onto his back and he couldn't shake it. He wouldn't, anymore. At least, that's what he wanted to believe.
The sun was setting when Otogi hit the town line. Honda's saw the towers and hustle that he had grown up with, but, for some reason, he felt like he'd never been there before.
"Welcome home." Otogi said, still speaking in quiet exhales. Honda knew it wasn't going to be the last time he heard that phrase. Or at least, he hoped he was welcome.
After having them lodged in his throat for the better part of a day, Honda finally leaned out of the window and vomited what felt like his heart and stomach onto the street. Otogi pulled over the truck to let Honda catch his breath. He rubbed Honda's back and took the bottled water that was in the cup holder. When Honda sat up, he leaned into the seat, resting his head back. Otogi handed him the water bottle. "Thanks." Honda murmured with his eyes shut. He then proceeded to use the water to rinse out his mouth.
Otogi said in a near whisper, "We need to find a way to lower your stress levels." he suggested, "Maybe some anxiety medication."
"No, I'm fine." his voice shaking, but his tone was firm. Otogi restarted the car and they continued into the heart of the city.
They drove down Main street as if they did it on a daily basis. Honda remembers taking his bike and skidding around the corners of the downtown plazas and parking right in front of the arcade. He hadn't been to the arcade in such a long time. Honda was never very good at video games anyways. More times than not, he'd let his opponent win because he didn't care to win as much as they did.
Otogi didn't flinch when they passed the street he used to live on. Honda remembers stumbling up the hill in the pouring rain. His body collapsed against the door and he hit the ground, blacking out from the sight of his best friend and the one he wanted most becoming one before his eyes. It was that day that Honda had no one to turn to and nowhere else to go. That day, Otogi had welcomed him into his home and entered into the downward spiral that was Honda's life.
Though, Honda realizes, Otogi has always been there for him. Through all of the terrible things they kept happening to him, Honda was always able to stand up again because Otogi was there taking care of him. As they waited at the red light, Honda placed his hand on Otogi's thigh. A gesture that made Otogi turn his head toward Honda, "You okay?"
"Yeah." Honda replied sincerely. He had a small smile on his lips and a shine in his eyes.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Otogi asked, going through the intersection.
"Like how?"
"Like you... never mind." He shook his head and continued farther down the road. They reached a little neighborhood with quintessential suburban houses. They pulled in front of what they both already knew was the Bakura residence.
Honda imagined Ryou looking out the window impatiently, fingers to his mouth as he gnaws on his petite nails. Instead, he was pleasantly surprised to find that Ryou was watering the green stalks that was popping out of the small flower bed in the front of the house. Honda knew them to be daises when they were in bloom.
Ryou Bakura dropped the hose in surprise, having not noticed the truck pulling up. "Oh!" he exclaimed and immediately ran over to shut off the water. Honda snorted and chuckled lightly. It felt so refreshing.
When Ryou returned, Otogi was already out of the truck and opening the back. "Hello!" he said with the brightest of smiles, "How was the drive?"
"Exhausting." Replied Otogi, grunting as he lifted a box out.
At this point, Honda had finally emerged from the car. He stuffed one hand in his pocket nervously, looking at the quiet empty street, the elderly couple's blue house next door, the bird that was perched on the telephone wire, and anywhere else that wasn't Ryou.
"I think I'm in love with you!"
In his large winter sweater and his eyes dripping hot tears, Ryou had admitted his crush to Honda on a cold night last year. Completely taken aback, Honda had rejected Ryou and their friendship had yet to truly recover from it. So, now, as Honda kicked pebbles by his feet, he didn't know what his next move should be.
Ryou could sense the awkward air. He turned to face Honda and smiled wide, "Honda, I am so happy to see you!" he wrapped his arms around Honda's broad but frail shoulders. With a sigh of relief, Honda held Ryou and said, "Hey Ryou. You look great." he gave him a warm smile as they broke apart.
"Mmm." Ryou's cheeks flushed and he lowered his eyes, "Thank you." he nodded his head towards the house, "Bakura is out back."
Honda nodded and ventured up to the front door of the house. He instinctively skipped every other step and let himself in. He kicked off his shoes. The foyer that used to be a soft green was now a warm tan. Honda almost didn't recognize where he was. Though, he could still take in Ryou's scent. The familiar smell of cinnamon and vanilla calmed his stomach and eased the tension that was in his shoulders. He exhaled deeply before continuing on into the house.
Honda could see Bakura through the glass door that lead out to the small plot of grass that the Bakura's owned. Ryou refused to live in a home that didn't have some sort of outdoor area to be in. Honda liked that about him.
Bakura was laying on his back in the middle of the yard facing away from the door. He was shirtless and wearing torn denim. Honda shivered just looking at it. It wasn't exactly spring yet, but he doubts Bakura is capable of feeling cold.
Bakura did not move. Honda knew better than to believe Bakura didn't know he was there. Sure enough, Bakura stood up and a cloud of cigarette smoke floated into the air. He turned with his hands in his pockets and he said quietly, "You're late."
Honda smiled, "Didn't know you were so anxiously awaiting my arrival."
Bakura snuffed off the cigarette in the dirt, but he held the smudged filter in his hand as he approached the other man. "Don't be a wise ass. I know where you sleep." he gave Honda a crooked smirk, "It's only across the hall."
Honda laughed, "You haven't changed a bit."
"I hadn't changed over the course of a millennium. Did you honestly believe I would change in a single year?" He deposited the cigarette filter into a bucket by the door with the others.
"No, I guess not." Honda shrugged. The two stood there in silence. He mused over the times he had shared with Bakura. That bitter winter morning when Bakura threatened him in the kitchen didn't scream the beginning of a friendship to Honda, but over time, he felt like he could truly trust Bakura. After all, Bakura trusted Honda with his own insecurities about his feelings toward Ryou. To this day, Honda feels a little responsible for the two of them getting together, but he would never take all of the credit.
Bakura asked, "Did you find what you were looking for where you were?"
"Can't say I did." Honda admitted.
"I didn't think you would." Bakura spat, "Don't think I'm going to throw my arms around you and be all fucking excited that you're back, because I'm not your fucking mother." he scowled, "I'm going easy on you because you're one of the only decent people I know, but I'm telling you now, asshole, that was a pretty shitty thing to do."
"... I know." Honda shifted his gaze to the grass.
"Yeah, you do now." Bakura said, "But back then, you didn't think. Ryou was fucking heartbroken. We all were. Yeah, including me." he crossed his arms, "I want to believe you're a decent man. I used to." Bakura demanded, "Look at me." and Honda did. "Now, you've got to fucking prove it. Do you understand me?"
Locking eyes with Bakura was the same as shaking his hand. As Honda nodded and said, "Yes." he knew he was signing a human contract. He had some work to do.
"Alright then." Bakura said and placed a hand on Honda's shoulder, "It's good to see you." He moved past Honda and reentered the house, leaving him behind.
Honda didn't stay out in the backyard very long. He went back in and started to explore. Not only had the foyer been repainted, but the kitchen had as well. What once was a cheery yellow was now a mellow blue gray. However, the cabinetry remained the same ivory that Honda recalled and the counters were still dark stone. The very same counter Honda had spoken to Bakura on a man's level.
Bakura's words were beginning to dig deeper into Honda's mind and the more times he cycles them, the more guilt piled up in his gut. He knew he had hurt everyone when he just up and left like that, but to have it said to his face was worse than if Bakura had socked him in the mouth. At least that pain would have healed quickly.
He decided to wait until later to venture through upstairs. He made a quick stop in the living room and was satisfied to see that it was exactly the same as it had been when he used to come over for movie night. He noted his favorite spot on the couch was still as plush looking as ever and with a happy tap on the doorway frame, he went back out front to help the others.
Unpacking what little belongings Honda and Otogi had did not take much time at all. All of their furniture went into the spare room Ryou had cleaned out for them and any box that was labeled "kitchen" was placed in Ryou's father's closet for the time being. Ryou's father, of course, never needed to the closet since he was rarely home enough to use it.
Honda made the bed with Ryou while Otogi starting piling the clothes into the dresser. Bakura leaned against the window and provided company, which no one protested about. When the bed was made, Ryou went downstairs to prepare dinner. Even though all three men attempted to stop him from doing so, he insisted and announced that he would be making Honda's favorite stir fry in honor of their homecoming. Honda's stomach rumbled in celebration.
Shortly after, Bakura left the room to keep Ryou company in the kitchen. Otogi flashed him a knowing smile to which Bakura rolled his eyes. Honda chuckled and fell back into the pillows of his freshly made bed. Otogi immediately put down the shirt he was holding and crawled onto the bed with him. Honda laid on his back, propping his head up under his arm on the pillows. Otogi placed his head on Honda's shoulder, to which Honda put an arm around him. Together, they closed their eyes and shared a couple deep breaths. When he opened his eyes, Honda looked up at the white ceiling in general satisfaction. It was the first time his heart had stopped racing all day.
"Are you feeling any better?" asked Otogi.
"Yeah" he replied, "A lot."
"Good." Otogi snuggled into Honda's neck, turning to lay on his side. Honda curled some of Otogi's ponytail around his finger. He inhaled again, taking in the gentle smell of the clean linen. It mixed beautifully with Otogi's cologne. He felt like they were back in their flat in Tokyo.
Instead, they were home in Domino. A word like "home", which was usually supposed to bring comfort, brought Honda nothing but fear. He was anticipating seeing his friends one by one. He wasn't sure if they would all respond in the same way Ryou did. He knew that Bakura wasn't going to be the only one who would scold him.
Scolding reminded him of his mother. She was the one person that remained in Domino that Honda had not completely ignored. He answered her phone calls and made sure to send her flowers on her birthday and at Christmas. He had yet to tell her of his return to Domino. It gave him a little bit of breathing room, and he didn't want her to anticipate his arrival.
"What are you thinking about?"
Honda snorted, "How girly you are for asking me that." he tickled Otogi. This caused the other man to squirm and giggle. He fought off Honda's halfhearted assault. While Honda remained calmly laying on the bed, Otogi sat on his knees, blowing back the stray black hairs that had fallen into his face. His poked Honda's sides, "You're no fun! You're not ticklish."
"Nope." Honda said, chuckling at Otogi's playfulness. He reached over and attempted to tickle Otogi's smooth stomach.
Otogi pushed Honda's hand away, placing his hands on either side of Honda's middle and pressing their foreheads together. Honda watched as Otogi closed his eyes, his long eyelashes fluttering as he tried to calm his breathing from his laughter.
Without thinking, Honda placed his hands on Otogi's hips. Otogi's eyes slowly opened, exposing the green eyes that used to cause Honda to shiver. Now, they make him feel so safe, and he still gets goosebumps, but it felt different somehow.
"Hiroto." Otogi let the name roll off his tongue in a husky whisper. Honda licked his lips. He knew what was to come next. The kiss, the tongue, the tender nibble of the bottom lip, the moan, the beginning of something that he wasn't sure he wanted to start. This wasn't the first time this was brought to Honda's attention. This wasn't the last time what was in Honda's pant would stand at attention. Though, his usual response to the whole situation was exactly what he did next.
He removed his hands from his hips and placed them on the his chest. He shook his head and then adverted his gaze. Otogi sat back on his heels, tucked hair behind his ear, and sighed. He was the first to speak, "I'm..."
"Don't." Honda interrupted, "You didn't do anything wrong." he sat up and ran his fingers through his hair, "Look, Otogi. You don't have to be here with me. I appreciate everything you've done, but you really don't need to stay with me anymore. Or at least, I can move back with my ma. I know you want to stay here."
"Save it." Otogi said shortly, "You know I do because I want to. I'm not asking you to stay here with me." he held one arm with the opposing hand, "If you don't want to, I can't make you."
"It's not that I don't want to." Honda threw his head back and groaned, "I'm sorry I'm so fucking frustrating!" he rubbed his face with his hands, "I don't know what I want." he looked over at Otogi and immediately frowned over the troubled expression on his face. He reached out and held his pale face in his hands, "Otogi..."
Otogi leaned into the touch, placing his own hand over Honda's. He said softly, "We'll get through this. It's only the first day." he turned and kissed the hand.
"My little cheerleader." Honda chuckled. He leaned over and kissed Otogi's cheek, who accepted it with a smile.
"Guys! Dinner!" Ryou called from downstairs.
The two quickly kissed and got off the bed. Honda entered the hallway and inhaled deeply, "Oh man, that smells unbelievable!"
Otogi pushed Honda into the wall, "Too bad, I'm gonna eat it all!" he stuck out his tongue and headed for the stairs.
"Oh no you don't!" Honda protested. He caught up to Otogi and wrapped his arms around his slim middle. He lifted Otogi's feet off the top stair. Otogi yelped. He flailed as he laughed, "Put me down! Put me down!"
Ryou hid his laughter behind his hand as he watched from the bottom landing. Bakura poked his head out from the kitchen to see what the commotion. He rolled his eyes and said, "If this is what living with them is going to be like, I'm moving out." he stood beside Ryou with his hand on his hip.
"Oh shush, Yami." replied Ryou, "You love them just as much as I do." he smiled knowingly at his darker half.
Bakura murmured, "Not as much as I love you." and he planted a kiss on Ryou's temple. It was only a blip in time, but Honda noticed it. He smiled behind Otogi, who was too preoccupied in fixing his shirt to see what had happened. There was something that was different about the Bakura household that wasn't simply a couple coats of paint. Honda had been unable to point his finger on it until just now.
The entire environment shifted. When there was once dark tension, there is now a lightness to every step, every sound, and every moment feels genuine. Honda looked over at Ryou. He was pink in the cheeks, which was common for him when attention has been given to him. Though, Honda noticed, he was standing straight and his chin was higher. He was able to stand beside his darker half and not shudder or bite his lips. It was a welcoming sight.
"Well, come on!" Ryou said, making a path to the kitchen, "It's getting cold!" and the others quickly followed.
They all sat around the table that was already set by Bakura, no less. Honda took his seat across from Otogi. They shared a smile that Ryou interrupted by spooning rice onto Honda's plate, "I'll have no problem getting you to eat this!" he said cheerfully. With a kiss on the cheek that Bakura politely ignored, Ryou said to Honda, "Welcome home."
x-x-x
And that's the end of Chapter Two! I'm so glad to have gotten the feedback on Chapter One. You guys are the best. I'll try not to make it almost a month before the next update. I've taken a habit to type these chapters out on my iPhone at work. For shame. Haha See you at Chapter Three!