Dear Teddy,
I really hate you. I do.
Guess who got a lovely howler this morning? Right at dinner. From Dad, in case that wasn't obvious. He was really mad, Teddy. Screaming his head off. Everybody was looking and whispering and I just wanted to get out of there. Why did you do that, Teddy? Rose looked really pale and Hugo looked livid. But Al - you should have seen him. You would have been proud. Everybody hates me now. At least it's final.
I was so scared when he finally shut up. I didn't move or think or anything. I braved a look at Professor Helwood and he was staring at me, really pale. I thought he was going to faint. All the teachers had their mouths open and the students and all I could think was "I'm going to kill Teddy."
And then the whispers got louder. I just jumped up and sprinted as fast as I could out the door. I left the letter there. I ran to the bathroom and shut the door and cried. Obviously Rose, Albus, Hugo, they all followed me but I screamed at them to go away.
I hate you Teddy. I've calmed down now but I'm still mad. I mean, how could you do that? I loved him, Teddy. I swear I did. I used to tell you everything and now you go and do this? Why? Why would you do that? You can't. That's not your right. You can't not speak to me for a year and then act all fatherly and you-know-best and telling me what to do. It's not fair. You can't have both ways. You stay out of my life or you come into it and stay for good. But you can't have both ways.
Well, naturally I was called to Professor Reddam's office. I was shaking. I didn't sit down. Drew was there. He didn't look at me, he was sitting with his head in his hands in front of the headmaster's desk. Professor McGonagall was there. You should have seen the look she gave me. I think they finally got it through their thick skull that I'm not anything like Dad. Snape's portrait made some remark but I didn't catch it.
"We've discussed... the predicament," Reddam said. I said nothing. "Professor Helwood has told us everything he knows about your situation."
"My..." My mouth wouldn't move. I thought I was getting expelled, I really did. An expelled Potter. How would that look?
"Is there anything you'd like to say?" Professor McGonagall interjected. There was a lot I wanted to say, but I couldn't say any of it.
I was about to tell him that it was me, all me, when Drew spoke up. "I led her on."
And chaos ensued. In short: I'm not expelled. Drew can't work here anymore but he's not going to Azkaban. I have detention for a month but it's not as bad as it could be, right?
I caught up with him as he was leaving, really quickly. He said, really quietly so nobody would hear, that he'd write to me, but it would be hard. That having what we have is going to be hard. That maybe it would be best if we didn't continue it. Don't tell me what we had wasn't love because there was a lot more to us than I told you. I really loved him, so much.
I hate you. That's not fair. I loved him, Teddy. I really did. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I don't know what this feeling is but I think it's heartbreak. I fell in love, and now I don't know what it's done. It really hurts and you did this to me. You ruined my life and you betrayed my trust all in one blow. I thought I could trust you, Teddy, I really did. I thought you loved me. I thought you were the only person in the world who I can tell anything to. I don't know why you did it, but I really hate you for it. More than anything. I guess we're even, right?
L.