Chapter Five; Step Two
Commandos Part 4
The Red Skull glared at Zemo as he worked furiously. It was a glare of tranquil fury, masking the rather intelligent thoughts running through his head. "We are dealing with somebody who can walk through walls." He said silently.
"Walk through solid walls?" Zeng asked. "Ridiculous."
"Think Herr ambassador." The Skull said. "He was able to bypass the locks keeping the power matrix' in place, and sneak into my private quarters and remove the ammunition from my gun without tripping my lead trap or waking me up. No ordinary man can do that. I think, given the fact that we work around the impossible every day, a man who can walk through solid objects in no far stretch of the imagination, and even a logical conclusion given the facts."
"And yet, though it seems impossible, the man you are looking for is simply a very good thief." A voice with a thick Russian accent said. "I am the one who can walk through walls."
"Show yourself." The Red Skull ordered.
"I have no intentions of doing that." The voice said. "We both know that just because you are out of ammunition, you aren't disarmed. No, I'm here to offer my two cents of help and inform you of the stakes of today's little fight."
"The stakes?" The Red Skull asked.
"Yes. You see, those strangers are from parallel universes. They are here to ensure that you lose this war. And if you lose today, you will. This is your turning point. Win or Lose today, and you will win or lose the entire war."
The Red Skull growled. "And win or Lose, I will do so without your help specter. Be gone before I find a way to kill you." He waited for a response, and none came. He pulled out a pen and wrote instructions on a piece of paper, showing them to Zemo.
He gasped. "But sir…"
"Don't question my orders." Skull said. "Do it. And make sure this note cannot be read by any voyeurs."
"How am I supposed to…" Zemo gagged as the Red Skull scrunched the instructions into a ball and stuffed them down Zemo's throat.
"Swallow!" He yelled fiercely. "And then do as I have ordered. Fortunately for you, the Fuehrer is still under the impression that you are indispensible. Comply with my instructions and you will live. Fail to do so, and you will become… less than indispensible." He walked out of the room. "Herr Zeng, come with me. We are going to kill the Avengers."
Zeng followed with a smile. "I admire the way you operate Skull-san."
Impossible Man took a bite out of the apple he'd stolen as he strutted through the warzone. All around him soldiers were in a panic, scrounging around for bullets for their useless rifles. Titan touched down and began shooting the Nazis with precision. Impossible Man watched as Ares and Le Patriot ran through the gates to join him, with Nick Fury and Logan Howlett. The Human Torch leaped in, his SnowQueen flying above him. And then came the Exiles. Impossible Man walked towards them, and was slightly fazed when a yellow Hulk landed in front of him.
"Hulk Smash!" It yelled.
"Hey Hulk!" Impossible Man waved. The Hulk looked down with surprise. "Yeah, I was just walking around, minding my own business… when I heard those soldiers in the tower over there call your mother fat!"
Hulk yelled with rage and ran headlong into the armory, where soldiers were gathering in search of ammunition. They scrambled away from it however, when they saw the yellow monster charging towards them. Impossible Man took another smug bite of his apple, and walked towards the Exiles.
"There you are." Nova flew towards him. "Are you trying to get us killed?"
"No." Impossible Man shrugged. "I'm trying to save the Avenger's collective lives."
"And how exactly are you doing that?" Nova asked. "Is this how a bodyguard acts?"
"Exactly." Impossible Man said. "Exactly. I'm not a bodyguard, I'm a thief. So, I changed the game to play by my rules."
Nova raised an eyebrow and landed. "Explain."
Impossible Man smiled. "You see, there are three elements to any job. First step: Infiltration. Most people would build this up to extreme measures, but in my experience it's the easiest step. I've just aided the Avenger's infiltration by opening the door. Second step; Securing the objective. Now, this is the fun step because the second step is actually interchangeable with; rendering the guards unable to effect the objective. Either way, step two is the point at which the guards retaliate, and the only chance of success is rendering the guards incapable of retaliating. This can be by making it so the guards don't know you're there, switching the objective so they think you haven't reached it yet and they concentrate on getting rid of you instead of retrieving the objective, or any other means. I have done this by stealing most of the bullets in the castle."
"Really?" Nova raised an eyebrow.
Impossible Man gave him a look that asked; 'hey, who are you talking to here'? "Yes, really. Note the Nazis foolishly trying to attack with their standard issue knives. Would they do this if they had any other way of attacking them? Now, as I was saying, the third step; making the escape with the objective. In this case, the objective is the Avengers. We have initiated step one, and made it part way through step two. What we need is to initiate step three; we need to get the Avengers out of this castle alive. Which is tricky, because they are intent on destroying the whole base, so our job is: A. To make the Avengers leave, by accomplishing their objective of disabling the Red Skull. And B. To ensure a way out."
"Look out!" Nova moved around Impossible man and punched a cannonball out of the sky. All around them on the walls, soldiers were manning turrets. Some of them shot modified cannonballs and others shot lasers. The Avengers were being bombarded.
"I thought you said you disarmed them!" Nova yelled at Impossible Man.
He gave an exasperated sigh and threw up his arms. "Well, I am soooooooo sorry that I only made sure none of you encountered any of those things in the moat, crippled the majority of the defenses and gained valuable information on the Red Skull's plans. No, no, don't thank me for any of that, I don't deserve it for deciding lugging around cannonballs wasn't a priority."
"We have to help them." Nova started to fly off, but Impossible Man grabbed his arms.
"No! Don't you see? That's just regular security. I know what how the Red Skull really plans to murder the Avengers. Look, they're handling it." The Avengers did indeed appear unaffected by the bombardment.
Nova glared at him. "If what you say is true, do you think the Avengers will be able to defend themselves from the turrets and Skull's plans at the same time?"
Impossible Man sighed. "Look, it's all part of the plan… you know what? Fine. Wisdom." He turned to Pete. "Do you have some sort of anti-turret spell?"
"I suppose so…" Pete nodded.
"Okay then." Impossible Man brushed some debris off his jacket. "Cast it, but only on the ones that handle cannonballs, not on the laser turrets."
"Why not the laser turrets?" Nova asked, as Pete cast his spell.
"I told you, I have a plan." Impossible Man said. "But you're going to have to trust me. Now, you each have your roles…"
"Black Archer isn't here." The Mask said. "Will that…"
"I know about Black Archer." Impossible Man said, impatiently. "Would you all stop interrupting me with these little details? Okay…" He took some papers out of his jacket. They were instructions, written on the Red Skull's personal stationary. "Rachel, you're going to be on objective B, making sure we have a way out of here."
She looked at the instructions on the paper he gave her. "But I can't…"
"Listen, I just assumed you had Namor the Sub-mariner's powers since you have the same last name as him. But if you'll keep reading I'm sure you'll find I accounted for all water-based powers and you can do what I'm asking you to do." He turned to the other three. "Now, Nova, Pete, and Mask, you will be on objective A, helping the Avengers raze this place. Here are your instructions. And before any of you ask any stupid questions, I only gave you what you needed to do. It may not make sense, but that's only because you're not looking at it from the right perspective."
"Is this…" Nova grinned. "You sly fox, are you doing what I think you're doing?"
"I hoped not." Impossible Man said. "Otherwise I might be doing what Skull thinks I'm doing."
A loud boom echoed through the canyon. The floor of the courtyard opened up, and seven figures rode an elevator up. "Greetings Avengers!" The Red Skull called. "Congratulations on managing to make it into my castle! But now you fall!" He gestured to the six people behind him. "Allow me to introduce to you, the Invaders! Allow me, to introduce to you, your doom!"
Impossible Man turned to the exiles. "Well? What are you waiting for? Get going!"
As the Exiles scattered, Impossible Man turned back to the Red Skull and the Invaders and took another bite out of his apple. "Here comes step two, right on schedule." He said, with a fond smile. "The game's afoot."