Beauty is ever to the lonely mind a shadow fleeting; she is never plain. She is a visitor who leaves behind the gift of grief, the souvenir of pain. -Christopher Morley
Hotch watches Reid walk down the street and turn the corner.
He has a feeling that he isn't going home.
Spencer lived on the other side of town.
He won't admit it, but he cried himself to sleep.
Spencer was like a son to him…and now he had to let him go.
He wouldn't show anybody his emotions…but Spencer
He could always see through him.
There was a reason he was Jack's favorite uncle.
Jack would joke that Spencer was his older brother.
He didn't know where he's going this time.
It scared him.
He doesn't tell the team he left the unit just yet.
He waits till Monday.
Let them have one last weekend filled with assurance.
Hotch did not want to have to tell them all their efforts to make Spencer comfortable was worthless.
He was gone now.
Over the weekend he spent all his time with Jack.
Jack had been ignored for quite some time now.
It was time to change that.
He won't admit that he saw Jessica and Jack's faces light up when he announced it was father and son weekend ("no girls aloud Aunt Jessica!")
For the first time in his life he felt how Haley must have felt every time he was on a case.
Was Spencer okay? Was he dead? Dying? Hurt? Injured?
It sucked.
And fuck it he needed to know he was okay.
But he couldn't so he spent every hour of the day reminiscing about his magic tricks and statistics.
Jack asked about Uncle Spence.
He told him that he was being Superman saving the world, that he couldn't be here right now because someone found out his identity here.
Jack cried for six hours.
There was nothing he could do but watch old video tapes with Jack of previous holiday get-togethers that Haley always taped.
He pretended he didn't have to hold back his tears at the loss of a pseudo son.
When he came to the office that Monday he ordered the team to come into the conference room for a meeting.
That's when all hell broke loose.
Grief can't be shared. Everyone carries it alone. His own burden in his own way.- Anne Morrow Lindbergh