Free to be you and me

Land over there for lunch.

Lunch? You only ate breakfast an hour ago!

I'm hungry.

Then eat while we're flying.

I said land!

Grumbling Thorn glided to the ground. Murtagh wasn't really hungry but they had left camp far too early and in his anger Thorn was flying far too fast.

But, said a little voice in the back of his head, what is the point of stalling if you can't change your name what is the point are you just delaying the invertible?

No, I will think of something else.

Have you ever thought that Thorn and Eragon could be right?

Of course I have thought it but they are wrong, I can't change myself that way!

Maybe, Thorn snapped as he landed, you could change yourself by turning into a crazy person, after all you're already arguing with yourself!

Torn between anger and amusement Murtagh jumped down from Thorn's back, I'm going for a walk, wait here.

Water dripped down from the tree branches above his head as we walked down a narrow back. His headache was back as he tried desperately to think of a solution.

He came to a narrow stream and sat down in front of it. The sound of water trickerling over the rocks was oddly relaxing and soothing to his headache. Gradually his thoughts began to slow and his mind became clearer. He looked at the grimy green rock and remembering something Eragon had once said and laughed. Eragon had told him that he had once slipped trying to jump over a stream like this one and had broken his wrist. He caught his breath in excitement; he couldn't possibly attack the Varden if he had a broken wrist. No, that wouldn't work; he was competent enough at magic that he could heal almost any injury.

Disappointed he extended his conscious searching for Thorn, he found him in a matter of seconds. In Thorn's mind he could see a deer over the opposite side of Thorn's clearing. Instead of hunting it Thorn was talking to it as he had once seen Shruikando.

Be gone from here creature, for I am a mighty dragon and you are not fit to be in my presence, less you want the honour of being my dinner.

Terrified the deer raced into the trees. Murtagh could feel Thorn's pride and was proud himself.

That was amazing Thorn! Murtagh said.

Thank you, I didn't really mean it though it was just something I heard Shruikan say once.

I know I remember him saying I,t but it's a start. Did you see the way it ran? You really can be terrifying when you want to.

Do I scare you?

Murtagh laughed, you're not that terrifying.

Murtagh pulled his consciousness away from Thorn to be alone. If Thorn could try then so could he. Who could he try to forgive first? In his mind he ran though the people who he had grievances with. The Varden seemed a good place to start, of everyone their actions were the least harmful. Murtagh tried to put himself in their position. How would he have reacted if he had found out that another member of the Forsworn had a child? Even though he knew better than anyone a child didn't choose their parent's he doubted he would them. So the Varden's fear and resentment was understandable. He remembered back to when he had been imprisoned, although to call it a prison would be laughable, he was always brought meals and whatever he wanted from the library, his room in Urû'baen was more of a prison. Ajihad had treated him kindly and he had trusted him, he was the one had released Murtagh so he could fight at Farthen Dûr. After Farthen Dûr the Varden treated Murtagh more-or-less as one of their own. Guilt tore through his chest as he understood how hard it must have been for them. Despite their fears they had trusted him and he had turned around and stabbed them in the back, it wasn't by choice but most of them couldn't know or understand that.

Thorns presence filled his mind, calming him more than the running water ever could, it's ok Murtagh, you've done great I'm so proud of you. Come on lets fly if you want you can work on it more in the air.

Murtagh laughed as Thorn snapped at an eagle flying by. Thorn was really enjoying himself; he wished it was so easy for him. He had made no progress since earlier at the stream.

May I make a suggestion?

Of course you can.

Remember what Eragon said?

Which part?

Think of someone you admire and act as they do.

Murtagh thought, he had forgotten, but who did he admire? Only a few names came to mind and Nasuada, Ajihad and Tornac. Tornac had always been about making the best of any situation. Whenever Murtagh had been upset, particularly as a child, Tornac had always found a way of turning the situation around and cheering him up.

Tornac would be a good person to imitate but it's not much help, I still don't know to be like him.

You just have to turn things around, look at them from another perspective, I'll help you. We can start with your mother and Eragon.
Eragon? Murtagh asked puzzled, he hasn't done anything to me, well not unless you count him forcing me to go to the Varden after I said I didn't want to but I understand why he did that and I forgave him a long time ago.

I know he hasn't done anything to you but that doesn't mean you don't have to forgive him, I know how jealous you are of him.

Of course I'm jealous but I know it's not Eragon's fault, he's not the one who left me in Urû'baen. Murtagh was surprised by the venom in his own voice.

Ok, now put yourself in your mother's shoes, what would you have done?

I would have tried to save both my sons, not just my favourite.

And how would you do that? I've heard the stories about your mother but I've also heard the stories about your father, I don't think she would have stood much of a chance if Morzan caught her.

Murtagh thought for a moment but he couldn't think of a solution. Well then I would have stayed, why should one son get to live a normal life while the other lives in torment?

You're not thinking like a mother, Thorn argued, during the rare times she got to see her son he had been terrorised by Morzan to the point where he was almost killed, can you imagine what it must of been like for her to not be able to do anything about it? Then she found out she was pregnant again do you really think she would have given Morzan a chance to get anywhere near her second child?

Murtagh appreciated the difficult position that she must have been in, I suppose your right.

So are you ready to forgive her?

Not yet, I understand why she did what she did, but it will take some time.

I understand. Do you know what could help?

What?

If you talked to Eragon, he lived with her brother; he might know more about what she was like before Morzan.

Murtagh laughed, I'll be sure to ask him next time we try and capture him.

Thorn laughed too, I think you mean next time you try and capture him, I'm doing much better than this than you; I'll have changed my name long before we meet your brother again.

They had only been flying a few hours when Murtagh made an excuse to stop.

It's been a really hard day and I'm tired, I think we need a rest. It wasn't a lie, despite the fact that all he had done all day was sit on Thorn, he was emotionally drained.

You, not we, I'm a dragon I could fly for days.

Murtagh laughed, he wasn't sure if Thorn was serious or was still repeating things he had heard Shruikan say but either way he was proud of his progress. He was proud to of his own progress. He hadn't done as well as Thorn but he felt he had made a lot of progress.

Do you want to try some more or have a rest? Thorn asked.

I want to change, I really do, but what else can I do? I understand things better than I did before; I just need time to forgive.

Forgiveness is only part of it; if you want to let go of your bitterness you need to learn to be grateful for all that you have. What are some of the things you are grateful for?

Murtagh didn't need to think much to answer the question, you.

I'm glad you are at least grateful for me, Thorn said seeming pleased, but try and think more deeply, what else are you grateful for?

Murtagh thought back to his early years. Only one thing to be grateful for during his time growing up in the palace came to mind and that was his servant and friend

Tornac. I'm grateful that I had Tornac around, to teach me.

Thorn nodded, go on...

I'm grateful for everything he taught me about swordsmanship. I'm grateful that he gave his life to help me escape. I'm grateful for the time I got to spend away from Urû'baen. I'm grateful I got to meet my brother. I'm grateful I got to meet Nasuada. Murtagh was becoming overwhelmed with gratitude, never had he realised he had so much to be thankful for. Somewhere in the back of his mind he could feel the ropes with which Galbatorix kept him bound loosening.

And what about Galbatorix and Morzan?

The feeling of gratitude was punctured by Thorn's question. What of them? He asked darkly.

You still have bitter feelings towards them, try to find something you're grateful to them for.

Fighting anger again Murtagh answered, well I suppose Galbatorix did give me a home, and without him you could never have hatched for me. Morzan; well he is my father I would be alive without him, I suppose that's something. I guess if he ever taught me anything it's not to trust people, I know it isn't a nice thing to be taught by my father, especially when I was so young, but I wouldn't be alive today if I hadn't learnt that lesson.

Suddenly the bindings in Murtagh's mind broke. His mind was his own again, he was free. He had to remind himself to breath. He knew that Galbatorix would have felt the change. He knew too that with all their stalling Galbatorix could have him and Thorn back in Urû'baen before the sun rose tomorrow morning.

Thorn, we have to go! Now!