Becker sat in his jeep somewhere in London.
He'd been driving around for some time until he parked the car in an unknown street and stared out of the front window. Hs mind was a blank page. What the hell had just happened?
At some point as the silence and his thoughts grew too loud he'd turned on the radio but it was as if heaven was mocking him:
"…don't you know the hardest part is over *changing station* I will always love you *changing station* Jessie paint your picture about how it's gonna be *changing station* I just want you back for good* changing station* Had I known how to save a life…"
The black clothed soldier cursed and turned the radio off.
Why did she have to come through the anomaly?
He remembered the moment, but she had returned only 2 minutes later.
What did go wrong? Did they change the future? Would Sarah live?
What if? What then?
He swallowed the lump in his throat. His guts tore at each other.
The dreaded question rose inside of him. He tried to suppress it but he couldn't. It broke to the surface out of the deep pools of his soul.
Did he still love her? And what about Jess?
His chest ached.
His fist hit the steering wheel.
It was the mobile that ripped him out of his thoughts. Jessica!
Tears of anger and frustration rose in his throat. He ignored the call. Not now!
He couldn't deal with her now! What if he heard her voice and noticed that he didn't love her? Never had!
He imagined her. How she sat at the ADD, putting the mobile onto her table, with some sort of sadness or worry in her eyes. Then she'd turn back to the computer and run security checks or whatever.
The bad conscience bit him.
It told him that it wasn't fair at all to keep her hanging like this.
She was his girlfriend after all, wasn't she? And he wanted this to work, didn't he?
Just this morning as he woke up he'd felt so completed, didn't he?
His fingers slowly dialed.
"Becker, are you okay?" He'd hold his breath to get ready for the blow her voice would trigger off, but there was nothing but a nice warmth settling in his stomach. Soothing.
Suddenly a certein calmness took hold of him.
"Yeah, I'm okay. There's just a lot to think about right now."
"Mh…I'm sorry to interrupt your thinking but…er Lester wants to have you here. But take your time and if you…well, if you wanna talk you can call me…'kay?" Jess hoped her voice didn't quiver!
"'kay." That was the only answer she got before he hung up on her.
The young woman looked at her mobile for a while. Sadness was lingering over her head.
Did Becker still care for Sarah? She scolded herself. What a stupid question, Jessica! She died in his arms!
Never the less she still couldn't deny the real question that bothered her.
How much did he still care for her? And what did that mean for them?
Jessica wanted to be there for him, to hold him in her arms. She wanted to be strong for him and tell him that it'll be fine. Fear settled down in her stomach.
Anyhow she knew that she'd do best to retreat right now. Becker wasn't the man who wanted to be taken care of.
"Jessica, how are you feeling?" Abby asked carefully. Jess sniffed: "I'm fine."
"Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional." Abby threw a killing glance at Connor whose hands flew up in defense: "Sorry."
But Jess actually smiled a little: "No Connor is right. That's exactly what I meant." Connor smiled, nudging her shoulder: "We were actually on our way out to get some lunch and you are coming with us!"
"Yes, you need some distraction!"
"Distraction, sounds very welcoming! Let's go! Tori would you please cover me for a while?"
The red haired woman nodded and walked towards the three team members to take over for Jess.
What would she do without her friends?
But on their way out they met Lester.
"Miss Parker did you reach Captain Becker?"
"Yes, sir, but he wasn't up for a talk." Lester rolled his eyes:
"I'm afraid he has to come here immediately. Sarah asked for him and he is the only person she wants to talk to." He snorted as if trusting Becker would be a stupid thing. Jessica's eyes flickered.
"But go on whatever you were about to do! I'll call him myself! Enjoy your lunch!"
He left the three young people to themselves. Connor was taken aback:
"Don't you think it's amazing how he cares for you? I don't even think he's that nice to his wife!"
Abby grinned: "Then let's go before he comes to his senses!"
The fresh air outside was refreshing.
Becker's mobile rang again.
Dang! James Lester calling.
"Sir?"
"Where the hell are you? I'm not paying you for disappearing! So get down here, Sarah wants to talk to you!"
Sarah! Oh god! What was he going to do?
She wasn't dead! She's alive! He repeated it over and over again.
"I'll be right there, sir." Running didn't make it better he knew that even if he felt like it on the one hand, one the other there while he longed to see Sarah again which was one of the most scariest thing he ever faced.
He started the engine and drove slowly. Stalling time.