Chapter 4: the secret life of Lucius
"Exactly how much do you know about my family Hermione?" Draco inquired.
"Very little actually, I know that you are an only child, and that your family is fanatical about maintaining bloodlines, and that they are staunch supporters of you-know-who. I know a little about your family tree, only what I have seen on the Blacks family tree."
"Did you know my father's marriage was arranged?" Draco asked quietly.
"No, I didn't" responded Hermione, her brows drawn together in question.
"Well it was. This is something that I only discovered after I left Hogwarts. I had displeased my mother somehow and was required to clean out the attic without magic," Draco shuddered at the memory. "She herself didn't know what lay in the trunks I was cleaning out. I found all kinds of things from my father's youth. There were mostly pictures, and progress notes from his professors. I also found a sheaf of letters." Draco looked down, uncertain if he wanted to reveal the intimate details of his father's life.
"As it turns out, my father was in love with a muggle" He blurted. "When my Grandfather discovered this, he went into a rage, and murdered her whole family."
Hermione gasped in shock. She wasn't sure what she had expected to hear, but surely this wasn't it.
"My father was immediately betrothed to my mother, and he was too brokenhearted to do anything but go through with it. His heart hardened so much that he began to believe his father's lies about the muggles. All emotion was gone from him. When I confronted him with what I had discovered, he couldn't deny it. All he could say was that it was wrong for the muggles and wizards to intermix. It puts too many lives in danger, and that muggles were obviously inferior. If they weren't, then why couldn't they stand up before the power of a wizard? He eventually blamed her for what had befallen her family, and him."
"It was all very confusing to me, and then one day I realized, that my father was wrong. He had convinced himself that his love for the muggle was nothing but weakness and stupidity. He knew that if it were ever discovered that he had loved the woman, my mother would be destroyed. For years, he spewed his anger at muggles, when in fact he was really angry with himself for failing to protect her. He had allowed himself to be full of hate, and taught me to hate just as much."
"So, you discovered that your father was full of hate and ran the other way?" Hermione asked in disbelief. "That hardly sounds enough to turn you away from the path that you had been treading.
"Let's just say that his hate had cost me something very dear to my heart Hermione. If my father hadn't filled my head with so many lies, I would never have been the person that I was. I realized all of the things that I would have had, that I could have been, if I did not grow up with that kind of anger in my life. His life isn't something I want for myself. Having friends who only want you for your money, a loveless marriage, and servitude to an utter madman, that's his life, not mine. You know Who isn't great, just stark raving mad and genocidal. When it came out that he was a half blood, the whole thing made me realize what a lie we had all been living."
"I don't want any children that I may have living the kind of life that I did. I don't want them growing up losing what they want the most, for some false ideals," Draco sighed. He was afraid that he had said too much, and he could tell by the look on Hermione's face that she wasn't entirely satisfied with his answers.
"So what was it that you lost, Malfoy?" Hermione asked her brown eyes boring into his blue.
"Not anything that I am prepared to reveal at this point my dear. Besides, I do believe that is enough story time for one day. You do need your rest, and I believe that I will leave you to it." Draco stood and prepared to leave.
"Draco?" He paused and turned to look at her.
"If your change of beliefs is real, I am grateful for it," she whispered, not quite meeting his eyes.
"Thank you Hermione, good night."