Red Sand – Chapter 3

After a few clever maneuvers the women were able to prop the commander against a cabinet in the room. Shepard's head effortlessly bobs side to side before firing her next outburst, aiming for the beleaguered quarian, who's the unfortunate recipient once again, "I totally love you man! You're like the best!"

The perplexed quarian looks to the doctor, "What does she mean? I'm a female."

Stifling a laugh the doctor shakes her head as Shepard continues her admiration for the young quarian, "I love you so much man. No! NO REALLY! I love you man! I appreciate you being in my life. You're like FN FAMILY TO ME! Seriously, I Love you!"

The experienced Naval Medical Officer placed her hand on the confused shoulder of Tali, comforting the young girl as she had seen many intoxicated soldiers and sailors in her career and offered the best sympathetic look she could muster for the quarian.

"No REALLY, I don't think you UNDERSTAND or GRASP just HOW much I LOVE you, dude. Seriously, this isn't the red sand talking; I'm not even that high, man. I just want you to know how much I LOVE YOU! Seriously! Hey! Hey! Look at me! Look me in the eyes! I LOVE YOU!"

Had it been possible to see the quarian's face, it would have been evident she was blushing from the gloating praises bestowed upon her from the Savior of the Citadel and first human Spectre. She stuttered as she spoke, "Th..Th..Th. Thank you… um… Commander."

With a brisk snap of her head, Shepard focused on Liara. "Oh! Oh! You wanna know something about Ash?"

Liara's face blushed for an entirely different reason than Tali's as she answered, "Oh that woman doesn't like me."

Concerned, Dr. Chakwas retorts, "Now that's not true."

Shepard, as if she were factually stating the sky was blue replied, "Oh yes it is. I know…"

Exasperated Liara sighed, "I knew it!"

Inquisitively Tali asked, "How do you know?"

The Human Spectre, looking magically captivated by Liara said, "She doesn't like you because you are SO much more beautiful than her. She is TOTALLY jealous!"

Liara is even more shocked. Even more concerned than before Dr. Chakwas quickly rebuts, "Liara she's wasted. You can't believe anything she is saying right now."

Confused by the slang term Liara asks, "What is wasted?"

Awkwardly chuckling the good doctor rubbed her temple and began to clarify once again, "Her olfactory epithelium has been stimulated into opening a nucleotide ion channel."

"Yes, yes…I know all that," interrupted Liara.

"She's high." Replied Tali matter of factually, having recovered from the Spectre's previous outburst and now speaking authoritatively on the subject.

"I know she's high!" shouted a flustered Liara, "But what is with all the words….'she's stoned'….'she's wasted'….why don't you people say what you really mean? She…", pointing a blue finger at Shepard as she anxiously continued, "is the only one being straightforward and she is high! What does that say? How do you people communicate?"

Tali, nodding conspiratorially at Dr. Chakwas says, "It's been a long day, she'll be alright."

Shepard retorts, "Hey doc I'm not wasted, I'm flying high as a bird... pretty bird with pretty wings… look I'm flying now... so high... so very high. It's so bright up here."

Tali added, "She's high alright!" "Oh Goddess," muttered Liara.

As the doctor and her two assistants continued with their decided plan of getting Shepard to the med bay, the Spectre interrupted with her own idea. "Can we go for a ride in the elevator? Oh Wait!"

Attempting to stand on her own, she continued, "I got an idea. Let's go for a ride in the Mako. I'll drive!"

The three women chuckled at the idea of Shepard driving the Mako in her current condition before Tali divulged, "Can't be any worse than her normal driving."

This gave them a hearty laugh but they were very thankful most of what was said this afternoon would not be remembered by their lethal Commanding Officer.

With a crewmember under each arm Shepard pleasantly asks, "Where are we going? Are we going to shoot some bad guys?"

Taking turns to look at both Liara and Tali she continues, "I like shooting bad guys. You two should come with me sometime."

Just outside the Comm Room Shepard gets a funny look on her face. "Doc, where did you say we were going?" "To the med bay."

Shepard instantly starts to pull away from her alien crutches. "Oh No! I'm not going to medical. I'm not sick or hurt!"

Afraid of causing a scene the good doctor tries to calm her, "Ok, how about your cabin? Would you like to go there?"

"Yeah that would be nice. I've got some good tunes in there."

Smiling between the three women she announces, "Hey, we can have a party in there with all my freeeennnz."

By now they would have taken her anywhere she wanted, if it got her to be quiet and hopefully quelled her zany behavior. They had seen far too much of this unexpected side of Commander Shepard, more than they ever expected to see.

Inside the cabin they plopped Shepard face down on the bed. Before they can even regain their breaths, Shepard bounced off the bed and was making her way across the room. Dr. Chakwas was able to catch her arm and swing her down into a chair. Happy for the moment, with their success on having the commander safely ensconced in her cabin, the three decide what to do next.

Lost in her own little world, the green eyed Shepard asks, "Has anyone see my keys for the Mako?"

She yelled out as if she could be heard all the way to the bridge, "Joker! Where the hell are my keys for the Mako?"

It was decided that after they had the commander settled, Liara would watch the forgone Commander and if she tried to escape the asari, as a last resort would use her biotics to contain her. On bended knee in front of the Commander Dr. Chakwas began to remove the heavy armor and asked for Liara's help.

Ignoring the two women tugging at her armor a chipper Shepard asks Tali, "Hey, do you like, think fish know that they're wet?"

Stripping the Spectre down to her skivvies, the doctor motioned for Liara to grab some shorts and a t-shirt from the commander's locker. Liara quickly thumbed through the clothes until she pulled out a pair of N-7 boxer shorts and an old Alliance Officer's tank top. Turning around on her heels she caught the peculiar stare of both the doctor and Tali.

Liara forced a blush away as she revealed, "What? These are her favorites."

Tali and the doctor exchanged a brief amusing smile before slyly nodding.

Coming down slightly from the thick dosage of Red Sand Shepard asks, "Hey doc. Got anything crunchy to eat? You think you could make me a varren cheeseburger? I'd love a good varren burger right now. God that sounds so delicious right now… please? I'll give you Wrex as a pet for a cheeseburger."

Only slightly surprised that Shepard had just offered her a Krogan Battlemaster as a pet, the doctor stood and headed to the door. "I'm going to try and find something for her to eat. Maybe that will help…"

She trailed off as she watched Shepard still sitting in her office chair pretending it was the Mako; shifting gears, hands in the air and making loud squealing noises with her mouth. The doctor amusingly shook her head and silently encouraged Tali to leave with her.

No sooner had the door closed, Shepard yelled out, "Hey and something to drink too."

A muffled, "Ok!" could be heard from the other side of the door.

The Commander began to smack her mouth like she had been in a desert for months, "Man, my lips are dry."

Her lips curl on the sides as a clever idea seems to have popped in her mind. "Man my lips are all dried out."

She looks over at the young asari sitting only a few meters from her.

"Hey Liara, wanna help me out with that?"

The Spectre laughs so hard she almost falls out of her chair, barely catching herself.

Liara reaches out to also steady her temporarily clumsy friend and Shepard, ever the tactical mastermind, takes advantage of the asari's close proximity and in a deeper more serious tone solicits, "Come on! Nobody is watching."

This dramatically catches the young asari off guard and Liara quickly withdraws her hand from Shepard's arm which almost makes her fall. For the next several minutes Shepard was pulling out all the stops in her charismatic arsenal by using a variety of waggling eyebrows, pouting lips and a few blown kisses to further entice Liara before Tali and Dr. Chakwas thankfully returned. With enough food for the four of them, everyone eagerly enjoyed the respite from the day's earlier fiasco and much to their surprise Shepard finished the meal without any more embarrassing outbursts. Shortly thereafter, Tali and Dr. Chakwas departed leaving Shepard in Liara's more than capable hands.

Exiting the room, Dr. Chakwas turns and asks, "You sure you're going to be fine?"

Liara smiles and nods, "I think the worst is over."

"If you need anything," Dr. Chakwas reminds, "don't hesitate to call."

With that final instruction the Normandy's chief medical officer slid her hands into the deep pockets of her smock and left the room in one fluid motion.

Watching the doors close, Shepard slowly rose from her improvisational Mako and for the first time since this afternoon's incident at the shipping docks, seemed to have regained her balance. She stood for a few minutes before making her way over to the table by the couch. Weaving slightly, she is hit by a huge wave of reality and slowly falls backwards over the soft couch landing on the floor while one leg is still dangling high on the couch.

Liara rushes to her aid but stops abruptly when she realizes the commander is unharmed and smiling widely.

"Are you ok?"

With her back flat against the floor and her hands floating in the air as her elbows are pressed against the floor she lets out a satisfying huff, "Actually, yes I am."

Liara slowly waves her hand at incapacitated commander on the ground, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm ok."

Liara squats next to her and asks, "Need help standing?"

Shepard pleasantly answers, "No, I'm good here."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty comfortable right here."

Nestling next to her Liara declares, "Ok then"

Shepard moves her hand in front of her face; first slowly, then quickly, then slowly. "This is just insane! Liara let me see your hand." Grabbing the young woman's hand the Spectre is mystified, "It's so blue. Whoa. This is sooooooooo cool!" Looking at the asari she implores, "You've got to try this."

Humoring the commander, she mimics the spectre's actions without experiencing any surreal effect. Shepard laughs kind-heartedly at Liara's attempt to amuse her. Glancing over at her asari baby sitter she exclaims, "Hey Liara. I want to say thank you for putting up with me today. I'm sure I wasn't exactly acting in a professional manner."

Blushing harder than she had all day, Liara answered, "It was my pleasure Shepard. You've helped me out of more than one jam. It was nice to return the favor for once."

The asari continued to blush as she secretly wished for the drug induced haze to not claim every statement made today. Returning her gaze to her fingers dancing through the air in front of her, Shepard casually mentions, "You really do have amazing legs though." A sly grin stretched across Shepard's face as she continued to stare at her fingers, waving them in front of her, "The dust bunnies think so too."

"Oh Goddess."

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A/N: Thank you again Cloverdaze for your wonderful help on this short story. It was fun!