Chapter 7 - in which canon rears its ugly head

After dropping Roxas off (and sharing a clandestine, sloppy goodbye kiss), Axel drove home, a stupid grin plastered to his face. He was elated - he'd guessed that the little blond shared his attraction, but was pleased by the level of guarded, curious affection shown him - the way he'd run his fingers through his hair, the way he'd clung desperately to him - Axel had had to fight himself to stop where he had. He had been aching to touch Roxas, to run his hands along virgin skin, kiss every pulse point, to put him beneath him... but he had controlled himself, and was glad he had done so - it would have been far outside of Roxas' comfort zone. Smirking, he pulled into his own driveway and parked the car in the garage, noting the absence of Cloud's motorbike, but the presence of every vehicle except his father's, indicating Reno and Vincent were home. He locked up the car, grabbed the overladen gear bag and the strap containing the woods, and began to walk towards the house. Reno appeared in the doorway, and reached out for the strapped woods, lightening Axel's load considerably. Together, they walked through the house down to the gym room.

"So. How was the date?"

"It wasn't a date."

"And I'm the Queen of Radiant Garden. You're pink, and you're glowing."

"Oh shut up, Reno, alright? Fine, yes, it went fine. He nearly got killed by a tree, I burned it in front of him, he nearly had a heart attack, I kissed him, we went home. Happy?" There was a clatter as Reno dropped the load he was carrying.

"You did WHAT?"

"I kissed him."

"Not that you idiot. You Spoke in front of him?" Reno's tone was incredulous, and he paused in front of the closed gym door.

Axel carefully laid down his bag and spoke wearily. "He was standing under this tree. A branch fell on him, I was standing too far away. He could have been killed; I didn't have time to think, it just happened. It was weird though, I only meant to set the branch alight, but something weird happened, because it-"

"...was a lot stronger than you thought, correct?" Vincent's voice rumbled from underneath the door. Both redheads froze, and the door creaked open. Vincent was standing right next to the door, which meant he had heard every word. His face was stony, but his eyes were open and full of regret. He spoke slowly. "Reno. I need to speak to Axel alone." Axel swallowed audibly. Reno frowned, but he relented and stumbled off back down the corridor, and after a moment could be heard trudging up the stairs. Vincent stood aside to allow Axel entry. Once inside, he dropped his load on the floor, and followed his uncle to the cabinet, where Vincent handed him a cloth and began taking the weapons out one by one and rubbing them down gently. Axel followed his lead, but started one set in, skipping his chakrams, although his fingers ghosted over them briefly before shrinking back and moving to the six different cesti above. He became so engrossed in the task at hand that he jumped slightly when Vincent broke the silence.

"I am not angry with you for sharing the truth of your nature with Roxas. He is a trustworthy friend, and has a keen eye, talent and potential. I am curious to know one thing - how did he come to be in that situation?"

"He threw his wood at a tree because he was annoyed at not being able to hit me. It knocked a branch the size of a bus off, and he froze up out of fear."

"I see." Vincent let out an amused 'hmph'. "Then what?"

"Then... well it all happened very quickly. I started running but I wouldn't have made it - so I just shouted and what I Spoke was meant to just burn the branch, but it didn't come off like that - instead, it's like I made a bubble of fire around Roxas, and the branch hit it and burned up."

"Has that ever happened before, or since?"

Axel thought before responding. "Yeah. After I explained to him what happened, he asked me to show him - I wanted to just make my finger a lighter, but my entire hand practically exploded." He paused, thinking back to what Vincent had said on opening the door. "How did you know?"

Vincent sighed heavily, focusing on polishing the uchigatana in his hand. "Before I taught you to use your power, what did I teach you?"

"Defense."

"What for?"

"To defend ourselves?" At this answer, Vincent glared at Axel with pained patience, so the boy tried again. "To... stop anyone leeching our inner Will." It dawned on him what that implied. "Oh! Does that mean...?"

"Yes. Roxas is a Speaker, or could be, if he chose to develop the skill. How did he react to you?"

"He was amazed. He thought it was awesome."

"Do you think he would take it well, if we enlightened him?"

"Yes," Axel answered without hesitation. "I do."

"Good. Axel, there is something I need to discuss with you. You are aware of course that leeching Will is something that we all do on a very low level, and that most of us learn those defences to stop this. You've never felt anyone attempt to draw your Will, have you?" Axel shook his head, and Vincent fixed him with a serious stare. "I have. In fact, I do every day, and so does Reno. Reno's defences are far more honed that yours, because they have to be - he has to stop you from pulling it from him. You're a Leech Speaker - and a very strong one at that. Even with my experience, I have to actively maintain my defences around you, because you can and have broken through them." He paused briefly to see if Axel was taking this in, but the boy seemed to be listening intently without reacting. "In all my experience, I've only once met someone who could do that like you; you know who that is and he's dead. I don't know if you're even aware of it when you're doing it."

Axel looked blankly at him, trying to comprehend what was being told to him. Vincent smiled benevolently, and caught his eye.

"If you think it's a lot to take in, let me tell you a funny story. The first time Cloud came in contact with you and Reno, he was still recovering from the Volcano Battle; you know this. I'd been there; I watched him deal the fatal blow to Sephiroth, the most powerful Leech Speaker in history. He had stared him out and struck him down, had practically moved the heavens on the way. Then he came here, and the first day he got here, your twelve-year old self accidentally pilfered his Will to light the stove, and nearly set fire to the whole kitchen. He had to go back to the basics and study how to defend against a scrawny kid whose voice hadn't broken yet - can you imagine that?" There was the faintest upward curve on to his lips.

"I wasn't scrawny."

"You're still scrawny, dear boy."

Axel's eyes flashed at that, but then he grunted a laugh, before he turned serious again. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Axel, you know as well as I do, Leeches are ostracised in our world, and for good reason - because throughout our history, all of the most powerful and most... unscrupulous Speakers have been Leech Speakers. Sephiroth did nothing to help that, and he was totally new - he discovered how to access latent Will in Silents."

Axel let out a gasp. "But... that would..."

"Yes. It did. It was kept quiet, even from the Speaking World, but that is how his body count was so high - he drained latent Will from Silents, that which kept them alive, and killed thousands. The stigma against Leeching is something that is so ingrained, your father and I took the decision to keep your nature from you, to try to help you lead a normal life. Basic defences are taught and have been taught to every Speaker, which for the most part means Leech Speaking on a moderate level is very difficult, but every so often someone comes along that exceeds that, and usually they, for want of a better term, 'go bad'. Please don't feel hurt that we tried to keep it from you - this conversation was inevitable; I'm totally unsurprised it is occurring because you happened to save a latent Speaker. Your character is impeccable, Axel, and I've always been so proud of you."

He tried, but Axel couldn't stop the tears well up in his eyes, and he looked to Vincent, who put down the push daggers and the cloth in his hands and closed the distance between them, enveloping the redhead in his arms. Overwhelmed, Axel collapsed into the entrance, sobbing as the emotion overtook him. Eventually, he gained control over himself, but by the time Vincent was stroking his hair, soothing him in a low voice.

"I am sorry. I understand that I have always been much more the disciplinarian with you than with your brother. I know it was hard, but I was so worried that if I was slack with you, you would not grow up as fine as you have. You have always been so serious, but you have always given us reason to have faith in you... I am proud of you, proud to have helped to raise you, proud to have trained you. Your mother would have been proud too." This hit a nerve that Vincent was well aware of, and he felt Axel cough wetly.

"D-did she know?"

"In her heart I think so - a mother knows when her children are special." At this, Axel seemed to nod imperceptibly, but he did not remove himself from his Uncle's grasp.

"What do I do?"

"The same as you always have. But you need to be careful around Roxas. The secret is out now, so you may feel free to go be yourself, but you must be careful - I do not know the strength of Roxas' Will, nor the depth of his potential, and you may hurt both of you. Please exercise due caution. I know you will."

"How do I tell him what he is... I mean, do I tell him?"

Vincent frowned at the question, but knew the boy did not understand the significance of the danger Roxas represented. "Do you intend to kiss him again? Or even go further?"

The blush that darkened Axel's cheeks gave off a heat that could be felt through several clothing layers, and finally Axel sprang out of Vincent's arms. "I know you'd get around to that. I really hope so, I mean, I do like him... a lot."

"Indeed, I can tell. It's plainly obvious to anyone within a ten-mile radius of the two of you, you might as well put a neon sign up. But," Vincent said quickly, cutting off Axel's spluttered protest, "the important thing is you must tell him, he must learn how to prevent you from leeching from him, for both of your sakes.

Axel was not in school the following day, and Roxas was worried, but a quick text message explaining he had something to take care of allayed the visit Roxas was considering after school. The next morning, Roxas sat through an horrendously difficult physics test, and after being consoled by Zexion and promising to thank him later at the martial arts club, he all but ran to the music room to his double English. To his relief, Axel was already sitting there, doodling idly in his journal. Roxas cheerily dropped his books down and turned to talk to the older boy, and he let out a gasp. The top of Axel's cheekbones were red and inflamed, and in the centre of each swelling lay the cause - an upside-down purple teardrop.

"Close your mouth, twink, you'll catch flies."

"Are those tattoos?"

"Yes... don't grow ovaries, Rox, I've already got six."

"They're on your face."

"...Really? They are? Shit, I thought I'd asked for them on my ass. I was wondering why it felt weird."

"Is that where you were yesterday?"

"Yup."

"Why... would you get tattoos on your face?"

"Ah, now, that would be your fault," Axel chuckled.

"What do you mean 'my fault'?" Roxas said, incensed.

"Your painting. You smudged it. I thought it looked cool. I've been thinking about it ever since, and Reno caught me doodling it and thought it was a great idea. He got some done too, but his aren't the same - you'll see at some point. Don't you like them?"

"Not sure. They're... can I touch them?"

"Sure, but we are in class."

Understanding Axel's meaning, Roxas casually reached out and touched a fingertip to the tattoo on Axel's left cheek. The skin was hot and tight, but Roxas knew from Sunday that Axel's skin was warm anyway, and now he understood why. He considered the tattoos at hand, and decided he liked them, as they were still Axel.

"They're cool. Don't think I want a set, but they're cool. They suit you."

Axel's response was cut off as Xemnas arrived with a sharp, smug air about him. Just as they were scrabbling to open their books, Axel scribbled a note and passed it to Roxas, who read it quickly.

'Got something important to tell you, before MA. Meet me out front after classes.' Roxas nodded to say he got the message, and then concentrated on the class as Xemnas' voice barked from the top of the room.

As expected, Axel was already in his car waiting for Roxas when classes ended. They took off and drove the small journey to Station Heights, where Axel parked and they left the car behind. Axel led them inside the station, and then immediately to the right, up a set of cordoned-off stairs, ducking behind the velvet rope (with Roxas following suit, stunned no-one spotted them), up a never-ending set of stairs until they arrived at a set of heavy wooden doors, which Axel tried, but refused to budge. He winked at Roxas, whispered something inaudible and Roxas felt that pull, and the door unlocked with a loud 'click', and flung open. Axel led Roxas out onto the rooftop. Roxas drew in a deep breath - they were on the ledge near the top of the clock tower, and could see for miles around, over the whole of Twilight Town. Given the lateness of the season, the sun was just beginning to drop in the sky. Axel walked right over to the ledge, sat on the edge, and dangled his legs off. He patted the space next to him, and Roxas carefully followed and seated himself in a similar fashion. Axel reached into his bag and drew out a small coolbag, and produced from it two ice pops. He handed one to Roxas, and ripped off the wrapper, immediately digging into his own. Roxas took the offered treat, looking at the unfamiliar packaging suspiciously.

"...what flavour is it?"

"Just try it."

Shrugging, he tore off the wrapper and cautiously licked it. Immediately, his eyes opened wide - the taste was unlike any he'd ever experienced. It was bitter and sweet all at the same time. "What is this?"

"Sea salt ice cream. 'S good!" They ate the rest of the ice creams in peace, and when they finished, Axel leaned back so he was lying back on the ledge, his legs remaining over the side. Roxas copied his pose.

So... what did you want to talk to me about?" Roxas asked when Axel did not open the conversation that he was waiting for.

"I'll show you. Close your eyes and relax."

"O...k..."

"Roxas?" At his name, Roxas turned his head to look at the boy next to him. Axel's face was serious, none of his usual casual amusement even tracing his features. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Then do what I say. Close your eyes and relax." Roxas did so. "Try to picture yourself on an endless beach. Can you see it?" Roxas nodded as the vision filled his mind's eye. "Good. Focus on the grains of sand. They are all around you, covering every inch of the ground, sparkling and shining. Every time the wind blows, they move around, sometimes swirling. Imagine your hands are flat on the sand. Can you feel it?"

"Yes."

"What does it feel like?"

"...it's... warm."

"Good. Run your hands over the sand, push the grains around, bury your hands in the sand. Can you pick up a handful of sand?" In his dream-like state, Roxas tried, but to his great chagrin, he could only pick up a few grains - the rest of them slipped through his fingers.

"No, I can't.. I'm trying but-"

"It's ok. Instead, gather the sand to you. Scoop it towards you."

This was easier. Roxas ran his hands through the imagined sand, sweeping it towards him as instructed. It felt so smooth.

Axel continued his strange tour with a question."Can you see anything on the beach?"

"Besides the ocean?"

"Besides the ocean."

"No." There was a pause.

"...nothing at all?" Axel sounded confused, and a little disappointed.

"No, nothing. Just the sand, the sea and the sun."

"...the sun? You can see the sun shining?"

"Yes. It's really bright. Like - blindingly bright. It's beautiful." There was a silence, and when Axel spoke, he sounded like he was trying to mask his glee, poorly.

"Keep the sun in your mind, and... open your eyes."

Roxas opened his eyes slowly, and at first was not sure he had done so, as all he could see was white. Then, the whiteness rippled, and he realised what was in front of him was a shifting bubble of light. He jumped, and the bubble burst and disappeared. He sat up rapidly, shock apparent on his face.

"Wh-what was that?"

"You're a Speaker, Roxas."

Roxas paled, and his head swam.

Instantly, Axel was next to him, his arms around the younger boy, resting Roxas' dizzy head against his chest. "Don't faint! You're heavier than you look as dead weight and I don't want to regret bringing you up here. It's true though, you are a Speaker. I didn't even realise it, idiot that I am, Vincent worked it out, and he more or less demanded I tell you.

"I... wow. I don't know how to react. What was that ball-thing?"

"That was your element. Looks like you've got some kind of attraction to light - you saw a sun, and made a ball of light. On my beach, I saw a bonfire, and then I burned my eyebrows off. Reno's had already manifested, so we knew him and lightning are best buddies, but he says he can see forked lightning in the sky. No-one sees the sun except you, as far as I know."

"Why did you tell me to play with the sand?"

"You're taking this well. Sand! When a Speaker is totally relaxed, they can easily drop into the 'Speaking side' of themselves. I told you the other day, in order to Speak you draw in Will and release it with a Word. The world is furnished with Will, just lying there, like air, and we all have it inside us; every living thing does. Silents can't connect their Will to the Will outside; Speakers can. You could draw in yours from the outside, but the ball didn't appear until you said you could see the sun - that was the right Word. The second you said it, it popped into existence next to your head."

"This... is amazing."

"...it's not all good, though, Rox. What do you feel when I do this?" Axel called forth a fireball several feet away. As he did so, Roxas felt a yanking sensation that seemed to come from deep down inside, a feeling that made him ill.

"I... I don't know. It's like a sort of pulling feeling, it's horrible."

"Hmmm. Ok. Lie back while I'm doing this, and see if you can go to the beach."

Roxas did so, but try as he might, he could not visualise the beach from earlier - the pulling sensation was the only thing he could feel at all. "I-I can't, I just..." He opened his eyes and saw Axel wave a hand, and the fireball vanished, taking the sickly feeling with it.

"That's because of who I am. Most Speakers pull from the outside, but there are a rare few who are less discerning about where they get it from, and they can steal it from other Speakers. i didn't even know until Sunday because my family kept it hidden from me, but I'm one of those - we call them Leech Speakers, or just Leeches."

"That's not a very nice name. Why would they hide it from you?"

"It's not a very nice thing. They hid it because every single Leech that anyone knows about went mad with power and killed a lot of people. Do you know the power plant disaster in Midgar five years ago?" Roxas nodded. "Killed lots of people? Well, it wasn't, it was a nutcase Leech called Sephiroth. You know it was Cloud that killed him?"

"I'm not surprised." They laughed.

"I know, right? He's a bit like that. If someone told me he'd hand built the pyramids, I'd probably believe them." The atmosphere lightened, and Roxas sat up slightly, leaning back on his elbows.

"Are you going to go psycho?" The question was put so flatly, it forced a laugh from the redhead.

"I hope not. It's not on my agenda for this week, anyway. I'll keep you posted. In any case, you need to learn to stop me from leeching from you at least - Vincent will teach you how, and then there won't be any... accidents."

"Accidents?"

"Well, I sort of draw in my Will and intend one thing to happen, but if you're nearby and undefending, I'll pull yours too, and what I meant to do will go out the window. I'd totally forgotten about it, but the first time I met Cloud I meant to light the stove and almost blew up the kitchen. I used to think I was really unstable but it makes a lot of sense now."

"Axel, I... think I'm going to vomit."

"Please don't." There was a note of desperation in the firestarter's voice that stilled Roxas entirely, which quelled the rising nausea in his stomach.

"...why?"

"Because I don't want to taste that." His meaning sent a ripple of heat to Roxas' abdomen, and he turned his head towards the other, who leaned over him slightly, but hung back, guarded. In an uncharacteristic display of assertiveness, Roxas grabbed a fistful of checked shirt, and pulled Axel the remaining distance, guiding his lips to his own, seeking to dominate the kiss from below. He felt a note of tension evaporate from the taller boy, who dropped his shoulders to press harder against the smaller blond. However, Roxas' naiveté quickly showed, and Axel recognised this, pushing his tongue gently forward to part the smooth pink lips, capturing its slightly smaller counterpart and pulling it into a sort of gentle dance. The feel of Axel's tongue was electrifying, and Roxas brought one arm up to grip the slim shoulders above him; the other rested falteringly on Axel's hip.

In doing so, he was struck by two things - Axel's body was radiating heat, but he did not have a bead of sweat anywhere. It made sense that fire was Axel's natural element - his very body seemed built for it. The careful shifting of his own shirt and the slipping of a warm hand underneath jolted him back to reality, and he inadvertently let out a nervous squeak. He felt Axel grin into the kiss, then deepen it, casually advancing his fingertips up the shuddering chest beneath to settle on one sensitive bud. At the tiniest pinch, Roxas' hips reacted of their own accord and he bucked away from Axel, who stiffened, softening his lip movements and gradually slowing as he removed his hand from underneath the shirt he'd invaded. Planting one final kiss on Roxas' lips, he lifted his head and smiled seriously.

"Sorry. I-I'm going too fast for you, I didn't mean that, it's-"

"It's fine. It's just - I'm - it's new to me. I've never done this with anyone else before, so... I'm sorry too." He met Axel's eyes, which were kind. "Have you?"

"Yes, I have. Just with one person, and that was a mistake, in retrospect."

"Why was it a mistake?" The question was innocent, but Axel slumped at it.

"Because... he was just my friend, but he was very much in love with me, and he convinced me that sleeping with him would show me that I loved him too. It was fun, don't get me wrong, but I did not love him. It went on for about six or seven months before I broke it off. He was becoming... really creepy."

"..."

"Without getting too much into the gory details, he started off quite needy, but over time I think he got angry that I still didn't love him, and he started getting a bit more aggressive. The day I broke it off, he'd gotten carried away and tried to throttle me, and very nearly succeeded - when I woke up, Vincent had knocked him out on the ground." By the time he finished his little speech, Roxas' eyes were like saucers.

"What did you do?"

"Got dressed and told him to get out."

"You were still naked?"

"Yeah, Vincent heard him screaming at me after I'd passed out, but couldn't feel my consciousness - he hadn't stopped, just kept on going. I threw him out and he never came back. Never even saw him in school again. Then it was summer, and then I came here."

"Did you have to go to a hospital?"

"Nah, I was fine. Got left with these, though." He turned away, lifted the hair at the nape of his neck, and Roxas could plainly see two curved scars in the centre. He touched them gently, questioningly.

"How...?"

"He had really long nails. Those were from his thumbs."

Roxas tilted his head as he thought about the physics of that, then blushed as he realised that the other boy would have had to have been behind Axel, and his mind wandered immediately to imagining that scenario - and in his mind, he saw the other boy as a dark shadow consuming, strangling and violating Axel, pumping fervently into him from behind while Axel struggled weakly... Despite how terrible the concept was, his mind's eye focused on Axel's face; the sweat on his brow, the rhythmic movement of his limp, soaked hair, his screwed-shut eyes, the grip of his hands on the bed. The thoughts left him reeling, and he felt a shameful stirring below. To hide it, he sat up quickly and pulled the conversation onto a tangent.

"Can't you... I mean, can't you Speak them away or something?" Axel laughed; a sharp, mocking sound, but the aim was internal.

"Probably. It's not easy. I do it all the time - I can't believe you haven't noticed I've never got a mark on me, even though Vincent kicks HARD - but I wanted to keep these, to remind me not to go against my instincts again." Something had clicked in Roxas as he spoke.

"Oh my god, I totally noticed and didn't notice. You always have bruises on your arms and your head and then they're gone. I've been seeing them for weeks and it never occurred to me."

"Yeah. Vincent does it, mostly. I'm so bad at it; it takes so much effort. There are some Speakers who are really good at it - they usually end up as hippie 'healer'-types." He idly checked his watch, then sprang up quickly. "Rox! We gotta move, it's almost 5!"

"Oh! Crap! Leon's gonna be mad!"