Chapter 3

"Congratulations, Alphonse. You are now strong enough to go home, and you are released from Central Command Infirmary," Said the gorgeous nurse whose outer beauty did not match her repulsive inner filthiness, and the two brothers' eyes widened with joy, shouting with excitement and exhilaration. Alphonse' heart beat increased rapidly, and he felt as if it were about to rip itself out of his chest and show off it's scarred and torn face, and his stomach fluttered pleasantly with warm butterflies swarming about, and goosebumps of anticipation dotted the pale skin of the boy's limbs. "Did you hear that, brother? I can leave! I can leave! I can go home with you! Yay! I'm so excited! I'm strong enough now," Alphonse happily exclaimed, throwing his arms around Edward, who was sitting in a chair next to his hospital bed, and he felt his older brother ruffle his hair affectionately, and a chuckle erupted from the older teenager's muscle-sculpted chest. "Haha, yeah, I heard her, Al! I'm right here next to you, how could I not hear? That's great! I'm so happy for you! We'll do everything that-"

"Don't get too excited." The doctor's aide cut off their enthusiasm, closing her eyes with an annoyed look on her arrogant, egotistical, self-centered, heavily made-up face. "He still needs to take it slow. You guys can't just go out and do whatever you want. He's strong enough to leave, but that doesn't mean he's really that strong at all. I mean, look at him. He's still so scrawny. He's still really puny." She scoffed and flashed a disgusted expression as her deep emerald green eyes traveled up and down Alphonse' body, causing him to shy away and shrink back into Edward's embrace in self-consciousness. "He still can't go outside for very long, and he'll need to take several naps during the day. You can't just run out of here like he's perfectly fine, because he's not. He'll get sick if he goes outside, not like I care about that. He's just another patient to make my job that much harder for me. He'll have to eat frequent meals with small proportions, and take naps during the day if he gets tired. He should stay in bed for most of the time. The little brat shouldn't even-"

"That's enough," Edward bellowed, and Alphonse felt his older brother's arms tighten around him, as if to reassure him that the nasty comments the nurse was uttering were not to be taken to heart. "We understand what you're trying to say. Who do you think you are to pick on a little kid? Do you really have nothing better to do? It's not your job to make fun of your patients. Listen, bitch, if you so much as look at him again, I'll transmute your pretty little face into some sort of grotesque mush. Noonemakes fun of my little brother without consequences. You're lucky I'm so excited for his release. I usually don't give warnings. Leave us alone, and go pick on someone your own size." In response to Edward's admonishing, the nurse rolled here eyes and began to twirl a strand of hair in her fingers, chewing her gum loudly. "Whatever." She retorted before turning and heading out of the room.

Alphonse stared up at his older brother in gratitude, feeling touched by Edward's words. His savior, his salvation, his guide, his godhad stood up for him, and defended him, protected him from the harsh words of the nurse. "You stood up for me..." He muttered absently, and Edward turned his head to look down at the boy who had sunken into his chest. Chuckling, he replied, "Of course I did. You didn't think I would stick up for my little brother?"

Alphonse felt his gratitude swell, to the point where he thought he might cry out of pure happiness. "Thank you, Brother... Really... That was really nice of you..." He whispered, nuzzling into the warmth, and security, and care, and love of his brother's strong embrace. The scent of Edward filled his nose, and he smiled. He loved his brother's scent, his familiar, distinctive, unique scent that instantaneously calmed Alphonse in the times during which he needed comfort, which seemed to be frequently. 'I must be so annoying to Brother...' the little boy thought in dismay, sighing sadly as he drew away from Edward, abandoning the warmth of his older brother's hug to hide in the blankets, feeling the buzz of his previous excitement fading rapidly as self-loathing took hold. From what Alphonse could remember, he had not been so clingy to Edward, so dependent of him, and their relationship had been perfectly fine, but now, Alphonse felt as if he spent every moment either hugging Edward, or being comforted because he was crying. Their relationship now was so different than what it had once been. Without their mother, the young boy needed somebody to take care of him, but it was not fair to Edward to have to support his little brother constantly. Did Edward feel cheated, or used, or taken advantage of? 'Nobody wants their little brother hanging off them all the time... Why am I so clingy? Why can't I just leave him alone for at least two minutes?' The thoughts brought tears to Alphonse' eyes. It hurt to think that his older brother was annoyed with him, or wished he had not had such a little brother. It was not fair. It was not fair. It was not fair!

"Hm? What's the matter, Al? You just pulled away all of a sudden. Did I do something wrong?" Edward sounded concerned, sad, dejected, confused.

Alphonse cringed, the words piercing his heart, adding to the scars that were already present. He pulled the blankets over his head to hide his shame, his guilt, his remorse, he sorrow, his sadness, the tears that were beginning to boil up behind his eyes. Why did Edward think everything was his fault when Alphonse was the one who had committed some sort of wrong doing? Why did he always insist on taking the blame? He did not want Edward to comfort him. He did not want to put so much responsibility on Edward's shoulders. No older brother should have to take care of their little sibling all the time. That is no way for a teenage boy to enjoy his youth. This was the first time he wished Edward would go away and leave him alone, but not out of stubbornness; it was purely out of care, and thoughtfulness, and guilt. "Nothing..." He whined thickly, his throat straining to conceal the wavering in his voice.

The bed shifted, which Alphonse guessed was Edward moving closer to him, and felt a gentle hand rub circles on his trembling back. "Hey... C'mon, Alphonse... Why the hell are you crying? Shouldn't you be happy that you're being discharged from the hospital?" Edward's voice had a false cheerfulness too it, but the younger Elric knew better. He knew that he was hurting his brother with his own sadness. Alphonse' pain. Edward's pain. No, no... He did not want to be causing Edward pain. He did not want his dear, beloved, darling older brother to feel bad, but he also did not want Edward to comfort him, take care of him, endure the heavy responsibility of having a small child to take care of. He could not do that to Edward. What was Alphonse supposed to do? What should he do? Alphonse knew that if he did not put a stop to his older brother's loving gestures, Edward would continue to comfort him, but if he were to slap Edward's hand away, that would hurt him even further. 'Stop comforting me! Stop it! Stop it!' He begged silently, squeezing his eyes shut in desperation and sorrow. 'It's not always about me! Stop making everything about me! Stop doing everything for me! Stop it! Just leave me alone! I love you, Brother... I love you... I love you, but I hate how it's always about me...'

"Brother, why are you so dedicated to comforting me?" Alphonse asked quietly, almost inaudibly, coming upon the decision to stay still, not slapping Edward's hand away, nor cuddling into the consolation and assurance.

Edward's hand stopped moving, lying still between Alphonse' shoulder blades. "Is that what this is about? You don't want me to comfort you? But aren't you sad, Alphonse? I can see that you're crying... Don't you want me to help you feel better?"

"Brother, stop interrogating me when you didn't even answer my question!" Alphonse' frustration was swelling, the boiling pot of negativity bubbling higher and higher as the heat was slowly intensified, threatening to push off the lid that kept the storms of emotions contained.

"Al, what's gotten into you-" Edward stopped himself, realizing that he was about to ask yet another question after Alphonse had just yelled at him for doing so. He sighed refocusing himself on his little brother's question. "Why am I so dedicated to comforting you? Do you really have to ask? Isn't it simple, Al? You're going through a really rough time right now, and you're my little brother. I love you more than anything in this entire world. So, I want to be there for you and help you get through this, because isn't that what brother's are for? What kind of an older brother would I be if I didn't at least try to help you?"

A sob tore itself from Alphonse' chest violently, and he sat up quickly with crying eyes blazing with hatred toward himself. "But where's the equivalent exchange?" He screeched, every inch of his body quivering. "Why is it that you do everything for me, but I can't do anything for you? Why is it always about me? Why? Why can't you focus on yourself for once? Why can't I be the one taking care of you?" His voice rang through the hospital suit, echoing off the walls, mocking him. "It's so much responsibility for you! It's not fair! It's not fair, Brother! It's not fair!" His fists pounded the bedsheets as the tears poured from his eyes in heavily flowing streams. "Why is it always about me?"

Edward went silent for a moment, and Alphonse could feel his elder brother's shocked gaze piercing him. "Al... Don't worry about that... You have given me something in return..." Edward's voice was soft and airy, and Alphonse felt a hand wipe away a couple of tears off of his cheeks. "Alphonse, look at me. Please?" The older boy pleaded, cupping the strawberry blond's face in his gentle hands.

"No..." Alphonse moaned, a fit of sobs escaping him as he squeezed his eyes shut. He could not bear to look into his brother's eyes, which, he assumed, would be full of hurt, and anger, and resentment, and hatred. He could not handle the added pressure of Edward's emotions adding to his own overflowing melting pot.

He felt Edward's hands jerk his head slightly, and, out of reflex, Alphonse's eyes snapped open to look at his older brother, forgetting about his earlier fear of his emotions. "Alphonse, please, listen to me..." Alphonse' heart broke at how saddened Edward's voice sounded. "Alphonse, if I didn't want to take care of you, do you think I would be? If I didn't want to take on the responsibility of raising my brother, do you think I would?" He paused, trying to find the words to say, and let his hands drop to his sides. "Al, your smiles, and 'thank you's, and your happiness is more than enough for 'equivalent exchange'. Al, I don't even need anything in return. I don't want you to feel like you have to give me anything in exchange for taking care of you. Okay?"

Wiping his eyes, Alphonse shook his head, and he heard Edward sigh. It was not right! He had to give Edward something in return! There had to be some sort of compensation. Hearing his older brother groan broke Alphonse out of his thoughtful silence. "Alphonse, if you really want to give me something, then come here and give me a big hug. We both need it." Edward said quietly, and the younger boy lifted his head to look at him. The elder Elric sat with his arms open, a gentle expression on his beautiful face, and Alphonse froze. How could Edward still be so caring? How could he expect nothing in return? Alphonse had given him nothing, yet Edward was still giving. There was that situation again. What should Alphonse do? He did not want to reject Edward, cause him pain, but Alphonse did not want to keep taking. 'Brother said he needed it too... Maybe giving him a hug will help make up for everything he has done for me... Oh, no... I'm gonna cry... Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry... I can't do that to him... Not again... He can't be the one comforting me again... ' He told himself, falling into Edward's open arms.

His self control broke as Edward closed the embrace around him, and Alphonse sobbed and bawled and gripped fistfuls of his brother's clothes in his hands. "I'm sorry..." He whimpered into his chest, and he felt Edward rub his back. "Don't be sorry, Alphonse. Everything is okay."

And again, Edward gave his comfort while Alphonse took it.

No equivalence.

No exchange.

Just pain.