So, requested by no one, here is a list of James Bond references in this story. Most are pretty obvious, but I figured, what the heck.
Needless to say, this also works as a list of things that I don't own.
Story Title (From Burbank With Love)
Of course, a take-off of "From Russia With Love" – and yes, apparently the title of an episode of the cartoon "Animaniacs".
Chapter 1
- The whole opening scene is a nod to the beginning of pretty much every James Bond movie. There's always an action sequence that has absolutely nothing to do with the plot of the rest of the movie.
- "Oh, he had an early flight." – Cheesy one-liner about bad guy death #1
- "Oh, Roan" – Pretty much self-explanatory. In about every Bond flick, a beautiful girl utters "Oh, James" in her best PG-13 voice.
- "Nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby, you're the best."
I wanted to jump into the theme song like the Bond flicks do, so I borrowed one of them ("The Spy who Loved Me" – originally recorded by Carly Simon). The part about Morgan dancing behind a silhouette screen was supposed to evoke the images you see of female silhouettes in the title screen of Bond movies, but I'm not sure I described it well enough to make that clear.
Chapter 2
- Miss Sparchange – Of course, a nod to Miss Moneypenny, M's secretary who flirts endlessly with James Bond
- Roan untied his scarf, and tossed it toward the hat rack. The scarf landed a hook, and hung there snugly – James Bond routinely tosses his hat right onto the top of the hat rack in M's office. Roan does him one better – scarves are less aerodynamic.
- The Director is of course just like M, Bond's long-suffering and occasionally female boss. I drew the line at giving him a letter name though.
- The briefing scene is pretty much straight out of the beginning of every Bond movie.
- The Klebichok agent – The name is a cross between Elsa Klebb, the SPECTRE agent in "From Russia with Love" with the slightly dangerous footwear, and Novichok agents, which were chemical weapons actually developed in the Soviet Union (at least according to Wikipedia).
- "For your eyes only, Bartowski. We've got a meeting at Castle in an hour." – Bond title reference #1
Chapter 3
- Steve Bartowski is a stand-in (at least at the start, his role eventually grows) for Q, the techie in the Bond movies played by the late Desmond Llewellyn.
- Reference to Steve's predecessor, Doctor Llewellyn – see above.
- "Well, for one of my last missions, I got a briefcase with 40 rounds of ammo, tear gas, and a knife hidden inside." – A description of one of Bond's toys, from "From Russia With Love"
- "Don't you have anything useful? Say, a jetpack or something?" – Another gadget, from "Thunderball"
- "As a matter of fact," he said giving her the full once over, "how about a Tom Collins? Exactly two ice cubes, freshly squeezed lemon juice, and one Marischino cherry – as long as it was harvested from the state of Washington in the past two months." – The obligatory spoof of the vodka martini, shaken not stirred. The drink is ridiculous, and really a figment of Steve Bartowski's imagination. When Chuck meets Roan later on, he's actually drinking a martini.
- Character name, Alexis Romanova – Named after Tatiana Romanova, the Bond girl from "From Russia With Love"
- "Idiot," Casey grumbled. "You know, Bartowski, sometimes I wonder why don't just knock the living daylights out of you." – Bond title reference #2
Chapter 4
- Chapter Title - On Her Majesty's Secret Service's Nerves - I didn't think I'd get to work in the title anywhere in the story, so I just threw it in here
- Character name, Lottie Banginton – Yeah, I couldn't resist one character name along the lines of Pussy Galore and Plenty O'Toole
- Character name, Senator James Felix – Felix taken from Felix Leiter, the CIA Agent that appears periodically through the James Bond canon
- Character name, Terence Hamilton – Name taken from Terence Young and Guy Hamilton, who between them directed about seven different Bond movies
- Sarah waved her right hand at him, flashing her ring. "I thought I already got you. Diamonds are forever, right?" – Bond title reference #3
Chapter 5
- Character name, Ilya Amasova – Named from Anya Amasova, Bond girl from "The Spy Who Loved Me," played by Barbara Bach
- Charlotte followed Roan's gaze. "Is that a fez?" she asked. – Nod to the character Odd Job, Goldfinger's mute henchman with the bowler
- "I'd say your song is over" – Cheesy one-liner about bad guy death #2
- "Yes, hello. This is room 1007. I'd like to order room service. Duck a l'Orange, a bottle of Chateau le Chiffre, 1967. Bring it up as soon as you can, and just leave the cart by the door." – Reference to le Chiffre, the villain from 'Casino Royale,' the first version of which was released in 1967.
- "…And there's this new QB we've just recruited. Awesome arm. They're already calling him 'The Man with the Golden Gun' on campus. And then the whole defensive line is returning next year, and…" – Bond title reference #4
Chapter 6
- A moment later, there was a loud whoosh as the Rolls exploded in the middle of the street. – Alas, it's not particularly healthy to be the first Bond girl in a movie. Sorry, Lottie.
- "Look, shouldn't you be having this conversation with the spy who supposedly loves you?" - Bond title reference #5
Chapter 7
- Character name, Gert Masterson – A combination of the names of Gert Frobe, the actor who played Auric Goldfinger, and Jill Masterson, Goldfinger's paint-covered victim
- As he ran into the house, he heard Morgan say, "Do you expect me to talk?"
"No Mr. Grimes. I expect you to strip!" – A blatant ripoff of the infamous exchange between Bond and Goldfinger
- "Well, Agent McHugh, perhaps we should play a little game. I like to call it…Thunderball." – An extremely unsubtle Bond title reference #6
Chapter 8
- There were even a few females covered in gold paint – Another reference to the fate of Jill Masterson
- Roan had prepared an alias before entering the party, but he now decided that "Hilary Gray" would have to wait. – Hilary Gray was the alias Bond used in "On her Majesty's Secret Service"
- "I didn't want to at first. But when I got older, I realized that it was in my blood. I went to Oxford, then the Academy, and a couple of years later got my license to kill." – Bond title reference #7
Chapter 9
- "Things got a little out of hand at Bennigan's," Lester replied, his hand rubbing the black patch covering one eye. – A nod to Largo, the eye patch-wearing villain from "Thunderball"
- "Oh," Jeff said, once the complicated metal contraption had been removed from his mouth. "Last night totally rocked." – and a nod to Jaws, the henchman from "The Spy Who Loved Me" and "Moonraker" who probably funded the college funds of multiple orthodontists' kids
- "What, we find out there's an Octomom sex tape out there, and you expect us not to download it?" Lester objected.
- "Yeah, I just wanted to see her octop-" – Bond title reference #8, and I'm sorry.
- "His name is Strannaya Deloski, which apparently is loosely translated into 'he who takes on strange tasks.'" - It is a very loose translation for 'Odd Job'
Chapter 10
- The whole first scene is essentially a take-off of every casino scene in every Bond movie.
- Character name – Rudolf Adagio: A take-off of Largo, the villain from "Thunderball"
- Character name – Hubert Trax: A take-off of Hugo Drax, the villain from "Moonraker"
- Character name – Carlo Hamburg: A take-off of Karl Stromberg, the villain from "Moonraker"
- Casey nodded. "Whatever is going on in there, I want no part of it. It's almost as bad as listening to Jeffster without earmuffs." – A nod to one of the most dated lines of dialogue throughout the Bond movies, where Sean Connery compared a noise to listening to the Beatles without earmuffs. Casey's version is a bit more understandable.
- It was a white cat, its hackles up, flashing its teeth. – A reference to Bond supervillain Blofeld's pet cat
- "I promised Bologna that I'd take Miss Jinxie McLazenby to Pussycats Galore today to get her shots" – Pussycats Galore is of course a reference to Bond Girl Pussy Galore. The cat's name came from "Jinx", the Bond Girl played by Halle Barry in "Die Another Day", and of George Lazenby, the one-time James Bond portrayer in "On Her Majesty's Secret Service"
- "You're going to use all nine of those lives to torment me, ain't ya? Well, I've got bad news, that's all a lie. You only live once. Twice, maybe, if you're lucky." - Bond title reference #9, (You Only Live Twice)
Chapter 11 (As you can see, by this point I started focusing more on pushing the plot along, and there are fewer references)
- The ski chase scene is a nod to those from "On Her Majesty's Secret Service," "For Your Eyes Only", "The Spy Who Loved Me" and probably a few others. As is the lousy marksmanship of the bad guys.
- "… these skaters from Russia, with the love they show on the rink, it's just…amazing?" – A somewhat labored Bond title reference #10
Chapter 12
- I've turned away so many shifts at the hospital, they've started calling me 'Doctor No.'" – Bond title reference #11
Chapter 13.
- Chapter title: I'd Rather be Underneath the Mango Tree - A reference to the song sung by Ursula Andress in 'Dr. No'
- Organization: Lazenby Holdings - Reference to George Lazenby. Yup I forgot I already referenced him.
- Organization: Osata Technology - reference to Mr. Osato, villain from "You Only Live Twice"
- Organization: Tananga Products Worldwide – reference to Kananga, villain from "Live and Let Die"
- Organization: SPIRITE – the goofy acronym is a reference to SPECTRE (SPecial Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion) as well as the awkward way they needed to get the acronym to work
- Beckman's emergence from the water, and her white bikini, are both references to Ursula Andress's first appearance in "Dr. No"
- "Well, I think we may need to intercede out there, or we're going to have an unobstructed view to a killing." – Bond title reference #11
Chapter 14
- "Well, what did you expect? Their offices to be inside a volcano?" – A reference to Blofeld's lair in "You Only Live Twice"
- Character name: Winton Brandt: References to Mr. Wint (villain from "Diamonds are Forever") and Helga Brandt (bad Bond girl from "You Only Live Twice)
- "Mr. Trevelyan," Roan responded, handing the other man the business card he'd had prepared earlier in the day – Alec Trevelyan was the villain played by Sean Bean in "Goldeneye"
- "Vesper! Come in. You there?" – Vesper Lynde is the Bond Girl in "Casino Royale"
- "So, everything ok? Whaddya say we just live and let live, huh?"
Casey smirked. "Live wasn't the word I was thinking of. But our priority is to find the Klebichok agent. You can die another day." –Bond title reference #12 and #12.5 if you count the partial reference to "Live and Let Die"
Chapter 15
- The scuba-diving was intended to invoke the action sequence in "Thunderball", though I managed to leave out the action
- "Quite the tiger in the sack. She had these…golden fingers, let's just say." – Bond title reference #13
Chapter 16
- Needless to say, this is meant to evoke the clichéd "Villain reveals his plan thinking he has Bond trapped" scene
- Romanova's fondness for sharks was meant to be a reference to Largo's piranha, and all the other deadly animal scenes throughout the Bond movies
- The use of the harpoon gun is a reference to how Largo is killed in "Thunderball"
- "Goodbye, Mr. Montgomery." – A reference to the many "Goodbye Mr. Bonds" that didn't turn out to be as final as planned
- "Oh, he's hanging around with some chum." - Cheesy one-liner about bad guy death #3
- "Hey, as soon as I saw there was a horse named Encino Royale, I knew it was fate." – Bond title reference #13
Chapter 17
- The timer counting down is a reference to the inevitable bomb countdown from numerous films. I left out the red wire/blue wire at least.
- The President walking in on Roan and Beckman was meant to evoke the awkward interruption of Bond in the act that seemed to happen at the end of most Bond films (like "The Spy Who Loved Me")
- "You talk?" he blurted out – Similar to the scene where Jaws finally speaks at the end of "Moonraker"
- Deloski chuckled. "Again, never say never." - Bond title reference #14, to the unofficial "Never Say Never Again"
Chapter 18
- "My fortune. 'Don't just live for today, because tomorrow never dies.' Geez, these things keep getting more and more obscure." – Bond title reference #15
- "That's what I said. He told me she'd have to relent if he made her character 30 years younger, and played by Megan Fox." – Supposedly, Megan Fox was offered a role as a Bond girl, and turned it down
- Sarah rolled her eyes as she cracked open her own fortune. "These are confusing. 'Your family and friends are your quantum of solace.'" – Bond title reference #16
- "To do what those Bond movies never actually show," she smirked. – They are PG-13, after all.
- Chuck Bartowski will return – "James Bond will return" is seen in the end credits of all Bond films