"Zi?"

"Yes?"

"I need to tell you something."

"Why do you look so serious? Is there something wrong with her?"

"No. It's not that."

"Just spit it out."

"I... I'm sorry, for everything. I've been an idiot, a lot."

"Why are you apologizing, for that?"

"You're my partner, I know everything about you."

"Everything important."

"There are just some things, that you don't want to believe."

"Like what?"

"I knew. I mean... I didn't know, exactly... but..."

"Knew? You knew what?"

"I knew that something wasn't right. I should have confronted you about it, but I didn't."

"I don't usually do well with confrontation."

"Ziva, the thought crossed my mind, that you might be pregnant."

"So?"

"More than crossed my mind."

Her tone changes, "What do you mean?"

May 12th, 2009

He looks over at his partner. She sits quietly, working, at her desk. He knows that she knows he's looking at her, but she doesn't look up, to meet his glance. The thoughts begin racing through his head. What had been wrong with her lately? What was going on, between them? There was a coldness, a distance, between them, and he didn't like it. Maybe it was because he had crossed a line, but he had a reason. He was trying to protect her. Couldn't she see that?

Of course not. She was too angry to see anything, right now. It was understandable, but the awkwardness, between them, predated the incident with Michael. It was as if she had come unhinged. She wasn't her usual self. She was easily irritated, more than usual. She was cranky, and unwilling to discuss what it was that was bothering her. She didn't want to go out with him. She didn't want to grab a drink, or a bite to eat. When he had brought it up, she seemed appalled, but why? She seemed upset that he would even ask. Why? It had never bothered her before. She was just so moody. Moody, that wasn't a term he had ever associated with her. Other women, yes. Pregnant women, yes, definitely.

His eyes widen. He stares at her. This time, she looks up, for a brief second. He shifts his glance, to the pile of papers, before him. He pushes them aside. He stares blankly at his keyboard. Pregnant? Ziva? No, it couldn't be. There was no way. Was there? She... no... she wasn't. He hears her chair creak. He looks up.

"Where are you going?"

"The bathroom," she answers.

He nods, and watches her walk away. He waits a few seconds, and then follows after her. He waits outside the women's bathroom/ He just listens, knowing that she's the only one in there. He hears a noise. He exhales, and walks away, from the bathroom. He saunters back to his desk. What he had heard, did nothing to dissuade him from thinking that she was pregnant.

He looks up at her, when she walks back into the room. She judges by the peculiar look on his face that he has something to say.

"What?"

"I... nothing, never mind." He returns to his work. If she didn't want to tell him, then he would wait. He would wait, until she was ready to tell him. He was her partner, it was important, she would have to tell him. Why hadn't she already told him? Maybe she didn't know? Doubtful, if she was, she knew. Maybe she hadn't decided what to do yet. No, it was Ziva, she had no trouble making decisions. He would wait, because he was too afraid to ask. The truth was, he didn't really want to know.

She looks out the window, of the car, refusing to look at him. He doesn't take his eyes off the road.

"Say something," he begs.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I was if you weren't that you would be angry. And if you were..."

"If I was?"

"I didn't really want to know. I was happy, being in denial. If you didn't tell me, in my mind, that meant that you weren't. It meant that you weren't, and that there was no possibility that you were having my baby. So then I was off the hook. It meant that I hadn't done anything wrong. When you left, I just... I tried to push it out of my mind."

"Why?"

"Because if you were, then... it meant that... I was... and I was the reason you stayed in Israel. I was the reason you almost died. I was the reason that you were captured, and tortured. I couldn't live with that. I couldn't... I thought that it was too late. I didn't think I could bring you back, but I was going to try. It wasn't for you. It was for selfish reasons. I had to prove that I could redeem myself. I needed to know, if it was my fault, that I paid for it."

"It wasn't your fault. The decisions I made, they were my own. You should be upset, but not with yourself. You should be upset with me. I went back, knowing that I was pregnant. I never ever should have done that. I put her life in jeopardy. I put her in harms way, when I didn't have to."

"Can we move on?"

"How?"

"Admit that in the past we both made mistakes. We both made choices, that should have been made differently. We chose to do things, out of fear, out of anger. We chose wrong, but we have to move past all of those wrong choices. We have to forgive ourselves, and each other, because it's the only way that we can do this. It's the only way we're going to be able to deal with each other, for our daughter."

"Ok."

"And, I think that we should talk about the things, that have been left unsaid."

"I..."

"I know you don't like talking about things. I know you hate talking about your feelings. I know that it makes you feel vulnerable, and you can't stand that. I'm not that great at it, either. I suck at it. The bottom line is, that we have to do what's best for her. If we want her to be a healthy, happy kid, then we have to fix us, so she can have some examples, of happy, healthy people."

"You want to see a therapist?"

"Is that what you want?"

"I asked first."

"I think that maybe we should make a few visits, to a therapist, together, and apart."

"Together?"

"We're not a couple. But we're partners. We have issues, that need sorting out."

"I don't like it."

"I..."

"I will do it. For her."

"You're sure?"

She nods, and looks in the rearview, at the baby, sleeping in the back seat. She smiles, "I would do anything for her."