Where's Kono?
By Montez
Chapter 5
Disclaimer: See chapter one
A/N: Warning with this chapter, contains a few very dark moments with regards to Steve. I'm of the belief that with his very intense need to protect his friends and family(Okay I'm using how Steve was last season, but this is my reasoning for the way he's been this season, hope that makes sense) and the loss and near losses that have come about, but we know he is not good with emotional dealing so I feel this might be how his thinking would work at this point. I do not wish to offend anyone as I myself have dealt with issues of this nature in my life and wish I could have/had the support system that I believe Steve has. Traveling into dark places alone is beyond frightening and there have been times finding any light at the end of the perverbial tunnel can be very difficult. I encourage anyone who is dealing with issues or knows someone whom you believe may be to seek help or be that help for someone else. Believe me sometimes it is the difference between life and death. Okay sorry for going so heavy for a moment. Thank you all again for reading, reviewing and alerting-Montez
Instinctually Steve knew where he was, but as he walked along the sidewalk he really wasn't exactly sure logistically. He did as Danny had requested and called within the hour, they still didn't know how Kono was, but Steve could tell his partner wasn't telling him something and that tore at Steve's soul. McGarrett's mind wouldn't let the image of Kono's bleeding body leave him and his anger grew again. He wasn't angry at Kono, God how could he be? It was his fault she was where she was just as sure as if he'd pulled the trigger himself.
When he had her in interrogation all he could see as she was sitting there was a small, scared girl, not the strong, confident woman he'd come to know over the last year. He unwittingly projected his anger toward her, demanding to know what she was into. When she had refused to tell him, refused to look him in the eye he felt a moment where he wanted to grab her shoulders and shake her until she told him what was going on. That's when Chin had entered the room, as Steve stood there listening to Kelly's calm voice, pleading with his cousin, telling her no matter what he was there for her, Steve's anger continued to grow, anger at himself for not saying those words, for not telling Kono that they were there for her, he was there for her. He'd failed to protect her and now she could be dying because of it.
Steve continued to walk, not really noticing the looks he was getting from the people on the streets, in passing cars. He was still wearing his Kevlar vest, still had his gun strapped to his leg, still had Kono's dried blood on his hands and pants.
His instincts lead him home; he bypassed the house, walking along the side toward the back, the sound of the surf, the smell of the salt air filling his senses. Walking across the grass he pulled at the Velcro fasteners, dropping the vest midway through the yard. Absently reaching down he undid the straps that held his leg holster on, dropping it near the two chairs that sat on the beach, pulling his shirt off, discarding it at the waters edge as he waded into the water, effortlessly diving under an incoming wave.
He needed to think, to clear his head, to figure out his next move. He'd failed so many people in his life he didn't know if he could live with another loss caused by his lack of judgment, his inability to see what was right in front of him. He pushed his arms forward, pulling his body through the water, not thinking of the distance he was covering, or the tenseness his muscles were starting to feel, he needed to clear his mind and he would swim until that happened.
Steve didn't know how long he'd been in the water, hell he'd spent hours in the water during his SEAL training; he had pushed his body to the breaking point and beyond. He paused in his forward strokes, treading in place as he bobbed in the waves. Looking back toward the beach his home was almost a pinprick on the horizon, he'd never swam this far before, at least not recreationally. He let the last weeks, the last year play through his head as he moved his arms and legs to stay afloat.
He thought of all that had happened to those closest too him, and the more he thought about it the more he realized he seemed to be the common denominator in the trials his team had gone through, hell it had been his fault his own sister was kidnapped and nearly died. If he would have just left the island after burying his father Danny would still be with HPD, would have probably been able to save his old partner Mecca and never would have had to deal with Rachel's threat to take Grace from him. Chin would still be a security guard around the Missouri, not sitting in the hospital worrying whether Kono was going to make it through surgery. And Kono, Kono would be a rookie beat cop dealing with your everyday criminals instead of the gun-runners and human-traffickers Five-0 had come up against and none of them would have ever been on Wo Fat's radar.
For a moment Steve's mind went completely blank, he felt his body stop moving as he drew in a breath and let himself sink below the surface of the water. He closed his eyes as he let his body sink, the weight of his cargo pants and boots pulling him further, he could hold his breath for an insane amount of time, but even he had a limit and he wondered just how far he'd sink before he reached it. A part of him welcomed the darkness he was allowing his body to sink into, he knew just how easy it would be to let go. He was coming to a point where he felt everyone would be better without him. Wo Fat had left the island, if he was gone there would be no reason for the man to return and put his team in danger again, it would all end.
"Do you really think things would be better without you? What are you thinking? Are you thinking? You run out on us and it will all be for nothing. We are all responsible for what happened and we will all get past it, now open your damn eyes and get your crazy ass back to the beach before you really do drown." Danny's voice had sounded so real, like he was right there ranting at him in the water.
When Steve opened his eyes black dots were already floating in his vision, he looked up and could see the light of the surface several feet above him, he needed to push now or he wouldn't have the oxygen left to do it and push he did. McGarrett's vision tunneled as he broke the surface of the water, dragging in several ragged breaths, his body felt heavy as he started to tread water again, he was suddenly so tired. He looked across the waves and could just make out his house in the fading light. Pushing past that limit he knew his body could endure he slowly started to make his way to shore.
505050505050
They'd been sitting in the waiting room for three and a half hours and two coffee runs. Chin had remained seated the whole time, his gaze going from the doors to the clock and back. Danny had alternated between sitting and pacing. Lori had called an hour ago, letting Danny know the scene was wrapped up and she was back at headquarters. He'd told her there was no news on Kono yet and ended the call. He knew his phone would beep if another call tried to come through but he wanted to keep his line open for when Steve called again. The sound of his partner's voice sounded so wrong, even in his burst of anger it sounded wrong and that nagging feeling that something wasn't right with his best friend would not leave him.
Yet Danny knew the only thing that would probably help Steve was word on Kono, so Williams stayed with Chin and waited. It was getting dark outside, normally sunsets on the island were beautiful, though Danny still would never admit it, but tonight's held no interest. The only thing that would make things better would be Kono being okay.
Another ten minutes passed before a scrub-clad individual entered the waiting room. Chin had spotted the woman as she exited the silver doors and stood immediately, "How is she?" His voice drawing Danny's attention as he crossed the room to stand next to his friend.
"I'm Dr. Brewer, please have a seat." She motioned for the two men to sit as she wearily sat opposite them. "Ms. Kalakaua made it through surgery," The doctor noticed both men release held breaths before she continued; "though we did have a few problems keeping her blood pressure up with the amount of blood she lost. We were able to remove the bullet, most of the damage was to muscle, she was very lucky that the bullet missed any of the major arteries leading to the heart. It did however, nick the upper part of her right lung, it didn't enter the lung which kept it from collapsing, we currently have her on a ventilator, but hope to remove it in the next couple hours, it's mainly precautionary as we keep a close eye on her lung in recovery. We are continuing to push units of blood, antibiotics and fluids. We will gauge her pain level once she starts to wake from the light sedation we are keeping her in until we remove the breathing tube, then we will work on managing that, but over all Ms. Kalakaua is a very lucky woman. With some time and rest she should make a full recovery."
Danny reached over and patted Chin's back as the older man ran both hands over his face, smiling toward his haole friend. "She's gonna be okay." he whispered.
"Yes she is." Danny smiled back, the vice around his chest easing some now that he knew Kono was going to be okay.
Chin looked back at the doctor, "When can I see her?"
"I'll let you both come back to recovery for a few minutes, then once she's moved to ICU I'll arrange it so you can stay with her, as long as you stay out of the nurse's way." Dr. Brewer smiled at the two men as she stood, Chin and Danny following.
Silently she led them through the silver doors and off to the right, into the recovery ward. She paused at a curtained area, "Like I said the ventilator is precautionary and should be removed before she's transferred to ICU. I only expect her to be there no more than twelve hours before she is moved to a regular room. I'll give you both a few minutes with her." Dr. Brewer moved away, allowing Chin and Danny to enter.
Chin moved forward, coming to a stop next to Kono's bed, she looked so pale and fragile lying amongst the wires and tubes of the medical equipment. "Hey, li'ili'I kaukini…" Kelly spoke softly, laying one hand on the injured woman's head, the other gently taking her hand, "you're gonna be okay, you hear me. You rest now and I'll be right here when you wake up, just like I promised. I'm not leaving you." He reached down and placed a kiss on Kono's forehead, absently running his hand over her hair.
Danny had stepped up to the other side of the bed. The woman lying their looked very little like the woman who he'd joke about being afraid of because she could kick his ass. His breath hitched for a moment as she reminded him of Grace, she looked so small and vulnerable and the father in him wanted nothing more than to protect her from harm. That feeling led again to the feeling of guilt for not having done just that. He hadn't been there for her and now she was here, and he made a promise to himself to never, ever let that happen again. "Hey kid, guess I can't call you a rookie anymore, you handled all this crap like a pro. I'll save my lecture on going undercover without back-up for when you're better, but you really should have known that with all the grief I give Steve. But hey, the doc says you are getting better, so you rest and work your way back to us, okay." Williams squeezed Kono's other hand; mindful of the IV's attached to the back.
There were a few minutes of silence as both men listened to the machine breathing for Kono, but both felt an overwhelming relief that she was indeed going to be okay. "I'm sorry gentlemen, but your time is up." A young nurse stepped into the curtained area, checking Kono's vitals.
"Please, I need to stay with her." Chin asked quietly.
The young woman regarded him a moment, "I'll ask the doctor." within a minute the nurse returned. "You'll be allowed to stay as long as you give us room to work."
"Maholo." Chin said softly as he returned his attention to Kono.
Danny came around the bed, placing his hand again on Chin's shoulder. "I'll be back soon, I'm gonna go track Steve down, let him know Kono's going to be okay." A nod was Williams only response from Kelly before Danny quietly slipped from the room.